Being Beyond Bullying: Series Part 4
Part Four: Is the Grass Really Greener?
Throughout the course of the Being Beyond Bullying Series, we have discussed how to handle bullying from the highest thought possible. We learned to love ourselves, live fully in the moment, and to share our message with the world. In short, we have concentrated on the experience of the bullied, but there is more to bullying than just one perspective. In the last part of the Being Beyond Bullying Series, we’ll finally take a look at the bully itself, and how the process, not the person, is what drives the unthinkable actions that we see in high schools and beyond today.
To understand the functioning of the bully, we must understand their perception. Very few of us can claim that we haven’t taken up the role as the bully throughout high school, middle school, or even elementary school. At some point in our lives, we all have taken advantage of another person’s dilemma to make it our personal pleasure. We sniffed out the weakest, saw that they had nothing, and even took that away from them. With an easy target, we believed we found a quick way to elevate ourselves at the mere cost of another’s sense of self. And we continued to do it again, and again, and again. But was it worth it? Did it really make us feel better? Were we really experiencing a sense of higher self? Not likely.
The question that does remain regards the way to change the behavior of the bully. Many school boards and state officials have attempted to answer with placing strict rules regarding the consequences of bullying. However, these new strategies have created some interesting results. According to an article from the Christian Science Monitor, dated September 19, 2012, many schools that have implemented ‘zero-tolerance’ policies towards bullying have not experienced a decline in its rate, but rather a dramatic increase. The reason cited for this trend is that the policies focus too much on consequences, and not enough on compassion. So it seems as though too much time is wasted on prosecuting reactionary behaviors, than on the creative transformation of the beliefs of the bully themself. Though the power of the bullying policy has been altered, nothing will truly change until the mindset of the bullies transform. And there we have it: a change in belief, not a change in power, will create the long-lasting impact in the teen experience. Sound familiar to anyone?
For teens across the nation and across the globe, we need to bring that NEW level of compassion not only into our own lives, but also into the lives of everyone we encounter. We, as a generation, must decide to recognize the humanity in all, no matter how different or foreign they may seem. Instead of making zero-tolerance policies, we should be creating 100% tolerance policies. By seeing ourselves in another, by recognizing our own dreams, heart, and life in the person sitting next to us, we begin to realize that our differences aren’t so stark after all. When we see the weakest among us, those are the people that we should be extending our hands towards; those are the ones who we should share our love, laughter, and experiences with. By being that source of compassion, people can heal and grow in truly incredible ways. Whatever sense of ego-inflation we felt when we engaged in the process of bullying is NOTHING compared to the heightened sense of self we feel when we engage in the process of kindness. Experience it, just once, and feel the difference. You’ll never go back to bullying again.
(Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)
