many many things….make me unhappy!!
many many things……………. make me unhappy!!
nine years ago, my son would born, then I took a taxi to hosipital, because my husband hadn’t car, but my father had at that moment. When my son had been borned, my father and my brother hadn’t came to hosipital to visit me. My brother might be couldn’t come because the visit time just 1:00pm to 4:00pm, he needed to work, but my father hadn’t come just he didn’t want to go to hosipital. He visited my son and I since I came back to my house. but now my brother’s daughter borned, he drove his car to go to hosipital for them, he had come to hosipital to visit them, also he always to help them, my father and mother treat his wife well, everything homour my brother and her, they love their daughter so much, they don’t like my son because they think he is a naughty boy. They always altercation to my son when we go to their house everytime. They also don’t like my husband, because he haven’t make them happy, give anything to them, money…..etc. I said that just a little bit , In additon, many many things……, I can’t tell you one time…..may be you think I always compare with anothers special my brother. Yes, I think so , but I can’t accept my parents not fair to me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! What a great day to have this question, since this is a day we consciously decide to change…and I have some suggestions on how to do that!
I would invite you to read the book, “When Everything Changes, Change Everything” (WECCE). This book is all about how to deal with Change in your life, and how past data (our past experiences among other things), creates how we think and feel today. Unhappy, the nine Changes discussed there guide us into understanding that we always have a choice as to how we feel in any situation…no one makes us unhappy, we allow our unhappiness. We all have the choice to be happy by changing our minds about what makes us unhappy.
Life is all in how we look at it, Unhappy. Could it be that not having your family in your sons life is a good thing that you just do not see at this moment? Most of life is quite unseen except when looking back at it, but that backward look can be taken immediately after the event or thought…it does not have to take years.
You talk about things not being fair. Unhappy, I believe life is always fair. It is how we judge things that make things look unfair. Consider changing your mind about this as well. For instance, your niece has the attention of your family, but because of this you have been given the opportunity to look into yourself and see what is really important instead of only looking at the outside of things. you have been given the opportunity to forgive yourself and others. you have been given the opportunity for compassion. You have been given the time to be with your son and husband more.
And you have been given the opportunity to choose a different way of being a parent to your child.
A huge part of changing your mind about things that have happened is Gratitude for all that has happened…and for all that is currently in your life. Without things that seem to go “wrong”, we can never understand and appreciate things when they go “right”. When we are fearful and without gratitude, even for the things that seem awful, we stay in the feeling of “awful”, and are not capable of moving into feeling “joyful”. CWG contends that each moment of our life is an opportunity to demonstrate who we are…life is not full of challenges, it is full of opportunities!
Which means that we must practice changing our minds. It doesn’t usually happen overnight, because our past data is our life…but it can be done with grace and Love. Take moments every day to just look at what you feel is working in your life, and notice what it feels like in your body. (This is a small meditation, BTW.) That is the feeling you are looking for…and you will have created it all by yourself!
Sit and just say, “I am Grateful for Life” and feel it, and enjoy the feeling. When you know what this feeling is, you will recognize when something does not feel “Grateful”, because your body will not feel the same easy feeling. For instance, when you say “Life is unfair to me.” I’ll bet you have tightness in your chest, maybe a lump in your throat, and gut, and more. Now say, “I am Grateful for Life.” I’ll bet you can notice the difference in the feelings! When you notice the difference do you know what you have done? You have just created a Change! and you can do this with everything in your life. You will naturally wish to have this feeling and create it more and more!
I hope you read the book, Unhappy, and go to the website at www.changingchange.net for a continuing discussion with our community there.
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)