Who cares?

A couple days ago, in my daily course of business, I found myself walking behind a lovely couple on a busy sidewalk.  The gentleman was having a good time, laughing, dancing, immersed in his own personal space and thoughts, oblivious to the bustling world around him – in what many people call “the zone.”  I was quietly enjoying being in the moment of witnessing his free-spiritedness.  It was then when his companion said, “Honey, this lady behind us is trying to get by us,” to which he replied bluntly, “I don’t care.”

His words, at first blush, were coarse and stinging.  And they lingered in my thoughts for quite a while as I contemplated the feelings and energy behind this abrupt declaration:  I don’t care.  And as with all the events in my life, it served as an opportunity for me to really think and reflect upon what this meant to me.  And what I kept circling around in my thoughts was, do people actually ever truly not care?  Is it possible for us to not care?  And if we really do care, why do we say we don’t?

Maybe it has become easier to simply not care – or at least pretend we don’t — to bury our heads in the sand and willingly go where the winds of change happen to take us.  Kind of like we do when our car pulls up to the red traffic light right next to the man or woman holding up a sign that says “Please help.  Anything is appreciated.”  Do we really not care when we look the other way in an effort to avoid eye contact?  Do we really not care when we choose to not give him or her a buck or two?

We seem to care when tragedy strikes, like the tornado in Oklahoma, the explosions in Boston, Hurricane Sandy, or the Newtown shootings.  Facebook walls fill up with posts of inspiration and hope, and the masses rally together to bring aide to those in need.  In these types of situations, the level of care being expressed is tangibly felt.  But what happens to us the rest of the time?  What happens to Humanity in the day-to-day of our lives in the way we interact with each other, the way we listen to each other, the way we honor each other?

Do we only care when what is happening is “about us”?

What makes us care?

What would make us not care?

Money?

Competition?

Recognition?

Worthiness?

Pain?

Suffering?

Love?

I realize in my own life how often on a daily basis I say “I don’t care.”  Sure, it might be as benign as “What would you like to have for dinner?”  I don’t care.  “What movie would you like to see?”  I don’t care.  Or perhaps it carries with it a heavier negative energy like “Honey, this lady behind us is trying to get by us.”  I don’t care. 

Might we be well-served to consider abandoning this three-word statement altogether as part of our announcement to the universe that, yes, we do actually care?  And not only do we care, but that we are consciously demonstrating a level of care that reflects our highest truth, even when our truth may differ from that of another.  When we are no longer afraid to express our own truth, we will no longer desire to hide behind the mask of not caring.  And when we no longer hide behind the removable mask of “not caring,” we will see the illusion, we will understand it, and we will then experience our own Divinity.

(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

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  • Michael L

    Nice thought provoking article Lisa.

    Do we care?

    Well as the process of God Godding is us being, We already have that divinity in us, we have just forgotten. Not caring is not an option ultimately, but we live in 3d. we need contrast to be that compassion.

    If we understand the WE you speak of is the we of our soul, remember in spirit all our souls are one with God totally.

    Could we say I don’t care…. yes….Because I have put away those lower energy toys I used to play with and they don’t interest me any longer.

    Thanks for helping me look at my inner self.

    Michael

    .

    • Thank you, Michael, for your added insights here. I, too, stand in a space of appreciation for you and the opportunity to look at my inner self and choose from a place of caring and truth.

  • Great insight, Lisa.
    My thought is that we would be better served by abandoning the words ‘I don’t care’ because those words go against the very core of who we are. Our very core is love, and to love is to care. We are the essence of love.
    Not to care is not an option if we intend to live a happy life. Sometimes it is easier to pretend we don’t care so we don’t have to show our true feelings. But what are we afraid of? So much of humanity is lost, living with broken dreams or no dream at all, and are afraid to care because if they care they have to feel the pain. Our whole society is focused on avoiding the pain.
    Pain is not necessarily a bad thing. My own journey has taught me that lesson well. Pain causes us to change. Not to care is avoidance and takes us away from our true self and away from true joy. We are born to love and to be happy and in order to do that we need to care and walk through our pain to what I call the “positive side of pain; Happiness.”

    • “My thought is that we would be better served by abandoning the words ‘I don’t care’ because those words go against the very core of who we are. Our very core is love, and to love is to care. We are the essence of love.”

      I couldn’t agree with this more, Terri! Wonderful, wonderful observations you’ve shared.

      Lisa

  • Marko

    “I don’t care” is often a unconscious reaction. What you are asking for is to transform this into a conscious response. That is, to create not from past data & history, but to create something entirely new & more conscious & beneficial.

    That person simply could have danced out of the way without any comment. Perhaps that person has had a hard life or just gone through a tragedy & for the first time in a very long time, they were happy & were expressing that.

    Now someone comes along & interrupts this happy person in the zone. This brought out a unconscious reaction as opposed to a conscious creative response.

    What I’ve learned to do & it can be very tricky & difficult since that reactive past data comes up instantly, strongly & passionately, is to re language what we are feeling, or simply go neutral which allows the space to create more positively.

    My wife & I will often rather than yell when frustrated at the other simply say & re-language to “You know I’ve had a really long day & I’m tired & can’t deal with this now.” If we can manage that in the heat of unconscious reaction to conscious response it’s truly helpful, beneficial. If we really are conscious we may even add to “You know I’ve had a really long day & I’m tired & can’t deal with this now.” is the added “Can we deal with this later instead?”

    This is not an easy tool to use, that’s how active & strong the unconscious reaction is. The conscious response is truly a challenge at times & pointing out an example can be very helpful & instructive.

    However, most go right to the reactive stage, this transition to conscious response is truly moving into greater beneficial awareness.

    Magically,
    -Marko

  • Lloyd Bradsher

    To be alive is to care, so everyone cares even if their actions and comments do not seem to represent it well. If or when we fully believe we are all ONE, this knowledge does create more awareness of our caring for one another, and it shows in the way we deal with others in any social encounter. The female in this instance felt the presence of another and was unsure of the effect their celebration of joyfulness on the street spoke of her awareness to the male. The male, in the moment of his expression of joyfulness, was not so aware and was just expressing his feelings of joy disruption. His comment of “I don’t care” could have come from many emotional past experiences, not with intent to create discomfort or delay to any other. Perhaps if the other had just said “I enjoy your joyful dance, brother, please excuse me as I pass,” you could have left him with an unspoken message of compassion for his existence and sown a seed for him to ponder about others’ acceptance of him.
    Anyway, we all care for each other, even if our actions do not show it. What life is seeking is a balance between our expressions of Self and our connection with the Ourselves, collectively speaking. Most people are too concerned with what others think about them, afraid of rejection, even in the slightest ways, so we restrict our joy, our own expressions about who we are, and how we connect with Creator. Personally, I have overcome, for the most part, the desire to please others when it causes me to restrict speaking my truth in a loving manner about existence. The balance is to learn to show the Love within while not causing undue harm to others’ emotional states. Usually a simple smile and a touch does the trick, but on occasions it is best to leave and agree to disagree. Life is not about creating drama, it is about using the energy of Love to include rather than to exclude.
    So I agree humanity speaks words and phrases they really do not understand the effect of nor the meaning of, but understanding comes in time and experiences and in inclusion. Perhaps if we dance down the street with him, it will open his heart, mind and understanding to our Oneness. Namaste’
    Butch