My mate was unfaithful

I am confused and hurt. I recently found out my boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with three different women. I thought that he was a very spiritual person because he teaches Chi kung, but this doesn’t sound like very spiritual behavior to me! … Jewel

Dear Jewel… Conversations With God Book 3 says that God is eternal, unlimited and free.

Conversations With God also says that we can substitute the word “Love” for “God”, so let’s do that with our previous statement. It would then read:

Love is eternal, unlimited and free.

Do you know that God is all there is and that your boyfriend is a part of God? When he is freely expressing unlimited love to others besides you, his girlfriend, he is actually acting from a very natural place. Our society calls it cheating, but in truth, the sexual behavior itself isn’t cheating, his dishonesty about it is.

Now, it is true that many of us, myself included, freely choose to be in a monogamous relationship, meaning a relationship with just one mate. However, many people feel that a monogamous relationship limits their freedom too much, and apparently your boyfriend is one of those people. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you or that he means to hurt you. He just cares more about following his natural inclinations.

I would gently suggest that it is your thought about his actions that is causing you pain. If you can allow yourself to understand why he is doing what he is doing and not take it personally, you can begin to alleviate your mental suffering.

I’m sorry if it hurts to hear this, Jewel, but if you want a monogamous relationship with a man, it may not be possible with your present boyfriend. It’s logical to conclude that if he has been with three other women already, his pattern of behavior will likely continue.

If you choose to move on from this relationship, please be very honest with him about why you are doing so. Speak your truth but soothe your words with peace.

Allow yourself time to grieve if you’re still feeling sad, and take stock of the aspects of this relationship that you don’t want to experience next time around. Then set your sights on what you do want.

Take some time to get really clear on the qualities you would like to have in a mate. Make a list of them and allow yourself to feel how great that kind of relationship would be. Then happily release it to the Universe, trusting that It is working to bring this wonderful new man into your life.

But please also know this, Jewel: You need no one outside of yourself to complete you. Because you are also a part of God, you are whole, complete and perfect just as you are. Do whatever it takes to be a happy and fulfilled person on your own. Then you will be so irresistible, you will automatically draw a wonderful mate to yourself!

(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

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  • How do we become honest, when the world show as that lie is the best way to take and live it.
    When I come to understand how people are I was so sad and angry, I was 13 years old.
    I could tell when people were lying. My parents spoke to one another and I looked at them day after day.
    One day I could take it no more and at the dinner table looked at my father and asked him.
    Why do you lie to one another so much, what is it you think will happen if you say the truth?
    From that day they did not like me any more and never spoke in the front of me for years.
    I never spoke to people of my gift again until now, 40 years later, here.
    People are so secretive that they will never say what is in they harts and soul, and when some one speak the truth he is avoided and labelled as strange.
    You dear Neale have spoken truth and I honour you for that.
    Your advice to this nice lady Annie was the best I ever heard in my life, I would given her the same advice if I had the courage to do so.
    When I did in the past long ago I was ridiculed and laughed at, so I stoped.
    Dear Neale you are the first person who spoke my deepest feeling on the subject of love and human relationship.
    Now I do not feel so ridicules and stupid and alone in this fine pretentious world full of nice pretentious people who lie and smile to one another, speak one thing and think another.