gratitude
Thoughts are creative.
“Does this mean all of our thoughts? Every single thing we think, every minute, all day long?
No. And it is important to understand this. Otherwise we’ll wind up making our-selves crazy, trying to monitor every single thought that runs through our mind.
And that is an interesting phrase: “runs through.” If a thought “runs through” your Mind, it does just that. It runs through.
MOST thoughts DO that. They run through our mind like water through a sieve. Such thoughts have very little creative power. They’re moving through our Mind too quickly to build up enough energy to impact physicality.
It is only those thoughts that stick in our Mind that have power. What gives our thoughts power is the repeated thinking of them.
This places energy upon energy, building it up until it really MATTERS. That is: energy becomes physical matter.
SO!!!… if you notice that an idea is running through your Mind that you don’t like…. DON’T GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT. I mean that literally!
It’s your second thought that gives it power. (To say nothing of your third, fourth, and fifth thought.) If you repeatedly think something, you can be sure that you are magnifying its power.
This is the same thing as a thought being held in Mind not only ONCE… but by A LOT OF PEOPLE at the SAME TIME. This, too, magnifies the power of thought.
That is why collective prayer works.” Neale Donald Walsch.
Cravings, urges, compulsions, and obsessions are nothing more than our minds giving second, third, fourth, fifth etc… thoughts to an idea that should have just ran through our mind. When we can harness the power of recognizing a thought that no longer represents who we say we are, and make a decision not to pay attention to it, we remove energy from the negative and turn it into a positive.
And it is what we are Be-ing that is so very important in our existence here. Most of us think we are doing sobriety and that can indicate that sobriety is only a temporary state for us. When we decide it is our state of BEING, it becomes a permanent character attribute, one that we should wear on our sleeves so to speak.
Creating successful transformations from any patterned behavior requires an initial period of discipline before the newly chosen behavior becomes the norm. We perform regular functions so often, many times we find we do them without even thinking about them.
This is what I have found to be true of recovery. In the beginning I would entertain thoughts of using. What kept me from acting those out? I was also learning new behavior at the time. The new behavior I was learning was to seek help with my thinking problem. Sharing with other like-minded people, that I was having these thoughts, removed the power from them.
Over time, many months to over a year, the thoughts of using drugs or alcohol became less and less. To the point where, I can honestly say, I do not think about that anymore — ever. I am keenly aware, however, that the absence of cravings or obsession does not make me somehow “fixed” of my addictive nature.
You can see why a program of recovery from addictive or compulsive behaviors suggests that a person go to meetings on a daily basis. When we place our-selves in the rooms with other like-minded people, we are not only building energy upon our new sober thinking, but we are using the collective thoughts of the group to strengthen our resolve.
In order to manifest your hearts desires you must follow some simple steps.
- You must believe it is possible.
- You must acknowledge you are capable of creating it.
- You must set your thoughts in motion to creating this.
- You must be disciplined in keeping your mind focused on the task.
- Keeping in mind there is no such thing as time; remember to be grateful that what you wish already exists. In the program we call this “acting as if.”
Many times we allow our impatience to sidetrack us from our goals. We tire of all the work and no apparent movement towards our respective task. Ultimately, we give up and say things like, “oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be.” I call hogwash on the concept of “meant to be.” If some things are “meant to be”, then, others would be “not meant to be.”
If that is the case then we really do not have free will and we are simply the pawn in some sick twisted game being played out by a higher life form. If you believe the latter, you may want to ask yourself; what would the purpose of physicality be for the creator of all of this?
I am aware of the challenges of being disciplined in our thoughts. Negativity can creep in and take way our momentum. I find a few things can help to keep us on our path.
- Having a vision board
- Having an accountability buddy
- Being involved in a group of like-minded people.
- Starting the day with a reminder that what you wish is already in existence
- Ending the day with thanks for the experience of the journey
- Taking at least one action per day towards your goal
These are just a few of the ways we can remain true to our commitments. If you have others please feel free to share them in the comments section below. What works for you? What hasn’t worked? How can we support you? How can you support us?
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Thank you, God, for the moments when I do not know who I am, because they are the times in my life which allow me to re-experience that remembrance over and over and over again, each time in a new and profound way.
Thank you, God, for the people who challenge and push me, the individuals whose presence in my life feels abrasive or antagonistic. These are the relationships which provide me the opportunity to choose from and then experience the broad spectrum of thoughts, feelings, and emotions which are available to me and which have been created for me.
Thank you, God, for that space between what once was and what is yet to be, the pause between my choices, the interlude between the scenes of my life. I have come to know that what sometimes appears to be a lull, a barren space of nothingness , is actually the sweetest and most bountiful place to be, a space which quietly presents to me the infinite number of possibilities.
Thank you, God, for the children in my life who invite me to sit on the floor, barefoot, and just play from the center of my heart, offering me a gentle reprieve from the less flexible rules of my mind. I feel especially grateful for the souls who dance in the bodies of children, those who remind me to sing, to laugh, and to stop taking everything so gosh darn serious all the time.
I am sharing my own personal daily gratitudes with you today because I believe that if we can begin to acknowledge the gifts offered to us in all the happenings of our lives, those we judge as “good” and those we judge as “bad,” then we will have truly begun to live.
Aren’t all aspects of life living?
Aren’t all moments momentous?
Aren’t all events eventful?
Doesn’t each moment of our life serve to define our purpose? While we search and seek for the all-encompassing purpose in our life, that grand realization of who we truly are, could it be possible that we have infinite purposes and that we are experiencing our purpose over and over and over again as we move through the events and relationships we encounter in life?
What are you feeling especially grateful for today? Is there something taking place in your life right now which is creating some very real challenges for you? Is there a piece of your past that continues to write itself into the scenes of your play, something that if you were able to recognize and honor even one tiny gift that has been bestowed upon you through that experience may have the potential to change everything?
Will you join me in thanking God for the moments when we do not know who we are because they are the times in our lives which allow us to re-experience that remembrance over and over and over again, each time in a new and profound way?
(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
Last year there were many changes in my life. My husband and I went into bankruptcy. My marriage ended against my will, I left my husband after 20 years together still loving him. I returned to my parents’ house in another continent, where living conditions have nothing to do with Europe. One of my daughters went to heaven. All I’m assimilating the best I can, knowing that everything was produced by me. But I want to know what my daughter in heaven thinks or feels about me. Was it necessary to live all that pain? How I can make my life from now on one not through pain? Please explain what I did wrong and how to correct. My two children that I still have with me need and deserve a good mother, to accompany this process in the best possible way.
~ Maria
Maria,
Thank you for reaching out. I am very sorry to hear of all the pain you have experienced in the past year or so, my heart goes out to you, especially in the loss of your daughter.
Hear me when I say you did nothing wrong. This is not your fault. There is nothing to “correct”.
Here is the misunderstanding about creating our experience that I see many people have: while it is true that we are the creators of our experience, we are not necessarily the creators of the events that show up in our lives. Rather, we are co-creators of the events that show up in our lives. Each and every person that experiences an event with us has played a part in creating the event itself. For example, if you experience the event of a car accident, it was not created by you alone. It was co-created by everyone who was impacted by it: the other car involved, the witnesses who saw it happen, your friends and family who are concerned and who you may have told about it, even the people who built the road that the accident happened on. Our role as conscious creators is how we choose to experience an event, how we choose to experience the car accident. Does this make sense?
So let me be very clear, it is not your fault that your daughter passed on, you did not cause that. And I can tell you with utter certainty that she doesn’t blame you, isn’t mad at you, and in fact, loves you so much that her soul agreed to depart at the time it did in order to give all the co-creators involved the opportunity to experience themselves as certain things within the context of “loss”. It is okay to feel the pain, to be sad, to miss your daughter. That is part of your experience. But you also get to decide how you want to experience life after loss; in other words, who do you want to be now? I hear that you want to be a good mother to your children who are still with you. So your job is to decide what that looks like and be it. It may also be beneficial to write your daughter who passed on a letter, for your own healing, telling her everything that is in your heart to tell.
In regards to your question of how to move forward without the pain and struggle, my answer is to let go of the story you are telling that life is painful, that you are creating pain. Begin to shift your focus on all that is wonderful in your life, and keep it there as much as possible. This is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and for your family at this time. In fact, I recommend developing the practice of daily gratitudes. That is, begin writing down at least 10 things that you are truly grateful for, that you love or appreciate, every single day. And furthermore, consciously choose to make your last thoughts before you fall asleep at night, as well as the first thoughts you have when you wake up in the morning, thoughts of gratitude. This is where we become the creators of our own experience. If you choose to focus on the “negative”, or the “pain” or the “struggle”, then you will continue to create more of that experience. But if you choose to focus on and pay more attention to the beauty of life, what you do have versus what you don’t have, what you love versus what you resent or don’t like, then you will create more experiences of good things. It is really quite remarkable.
The other thing I recommend is to continue reaching out to others, do what you need to do to heal yourself from what happened, and know that you don’t have to do it alone. Meditation and journaling are also great ways to both heal and to live more consciously without pain and struggle, as well as being able to better deal with pain and struggle when it does show up. I think you a remarkable, wonderful, beautiful woman and mother, Maria. You have the power to experience your life any way you want to. Please let me know if I can assist you in any other way, and thank you for being willing to share your story and for trusting there is a better way of living for you and for your children.
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I just finished watching the 2011 documentary, Happy. It examines the happiness levels of people across many different cultures: from the slums of India, to the bush of Africa, to the beaches of Brazil, to the city streets of industrialized world. Along the way, it seems to discover that feeling gratitude, compassion, connection to others, responsibility toward the earth and helping others are some main ingredients to happiness. This film was rich with ideas that can apply to parenting in the New Spirituality, and I thought I would touch on a couple of them here to open our minds and hearts a little to help our children find their own internal happiness.
By the end of the movie, you are left with a clear sense that happiness comes through your decisions in both your actions and the thoughts you hold about your life. The Conversations with God core concept “We are all one” fits well with their ideas. When we allow ourselves to feel our connectedness and realize that what we do for another, we do for ourselves, we can feel spiritual fulfillment on a profound level.
One of the stories in the documentary was about a woman who was involved in a terrible accident. She had overcome so many obstacles in healing from her disfiguring injuries and even stated that she felt she had a happier life after the accident than before. She had found new meaning in her life and was now helping other people. She could have looked at her 30 reconstructive surgeries and shut down, caught up in the unfairness of it all, but instead she chose to create her own positive experience of the situation. She chose to live each day with renewed purpose and gratitude. She is a great example of how one can “create your own reality” (a core concept from Conversations with God).
In watching the film with my daughter and twenty-year-old nephew, I was thinking about ways we could re-dedicate ourselves to these concepts in our life. They discussed the influence society has on how happy we feel and the role that popular culture plays in making us feel inadequate. As parents, if we can instill in our children an ability to find fulfillment within, the external influences will have less effect on their happiness. The documentary proposed a few ideas to increase our internal happiness which are probably not new to you, but bear repeating:
1. They cited a study which shows that meditation (specifically a meditation about compassion) changes the structure of the brain.
2. Writing down five things for which you are grateful once per week increases happiness.
3. Showing kindness to others increases your happiness.
Adding just one of these activities to your life can make great changes in how you (and your children) feel! An easy way to begin is to start with the gratitude list or journal (something we have talked about before in this column). Just ask your child, “What made you happy today?” And help him or her write it down! For smaller children, this can be drawing pictures. For older children, it can be more involved using the word gratitude.
However you approach it, just know that you are giving your child an irreplaceable gift: The gift of happiness!
(Emily A. Filmore is the Creative Co-Director of www.cwgforparents.com. She is also the author/illustrator of the “With My Child” Series of books about bonding with your child through everyday activities. Her books are available at www.withmychildseries.com. To contact Emily, please email her at Emily@cwgforparents.com.)
What will happen if you decide to be happy…NOW? According to what God tells us through the author, Neale Donald Walsh, in his book Communion with God, it is the decision to be happy that creates the experience of being happy. What does that really mean? From my own life experience, I understand exactly what this means.
We create our life with awareness, or without. When we decide to be happy and really commit ourselves consciously to being happy, we will create the experience of being happy. This sounds too simple to be true but not so easy to execute when the circumstances surrounding you feel like hell. This is where consciousness comes in to play. Our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings create our experience.
Many family members, close friends, and I are facing huge challenges such as serious illness, death of a loved one, unemployment, horrible work conditions, financial ruin, and divorce. So how is happiness possible under these circumstances? The answer is happiness develops when the decision to be happy is made in our consciousness. What we look for in life affects what we see. I understand, firsthand, how difficult this appears. Impossible you might think. But I also understand, from my own experience, just how making the decision to be happy really works.
Only you control your thoughts. During difficult times, greater effort must be put on feeding your mind positive thoughts. Focus on something that is good in your life, no matter how small, because what we focus on expands. Keep something in front of you to trigger a happy thought when you need one. Allow yourself to imagine something great that may happen, or how you will feel when this episode is past. Force yourself to think of things that make you feel good. Your feelings are in your control when you make conscious decisions. When you feel good, you are creating a better world.
I am not suggesting you ignore the issue at hand to be happy. If you are sick, you need to take measures to get well, but at the same time find a positive focus. Read or watch funny and uplifting stories. Be grateful for something good in your life and focus on the positive. If you are living or working in a bad situation, place a trigger in front of you: a photo of a happy memory, a positive statement, or anything that will trigger a happy thought. Send love to whatever or whoever is causing a problem. Think thoughts that make you feel good. Imagine how you will feel when this experience passes.
Our inner world creates our outer world. The inner world is the cause and the outer world is the effect. Find a way to be at peace with whatever is happening around you. Happiness is not always laughter and bliss, but happiness does survive with acceptance and peace. In difficult times, to live in the moment consciously is our best defense but is often traded for worry over what the future may hold. Worry is a misuse of your imagination. Peace, happiness, and joy only live in the present moment. This I know for sure.
NOW, I urge you to give some thought to your own happiness. In my opinion, happiness is underrated. When happiness is the priority — that is, FEELING GOOD — everything in your life gets better to some degree, no matter what the circumstance. When you feel good. you will attract more things that match that feeling. My wish is health, wealth, and abundance for all; and my hope is that everyone may discover the miracles that happen when you are grateful for what you have at this moment and decide to be happy…NOW.
(Terri Lynn is an expert at choosing happiness and using the Divine navigation system which she shares in her first book Journey to my Soul. Currently, Terri is Sales Manager at Otto’s BMW in West Chester, Pa. where she motivates and coaches the sales team. Her intention is to share with others the importance of putting happiness first. She shares her thoughts on her website – Terri Lynn’s Happy Talk. Terri resides in Newtown Square, Pa.)
(If you would like to contribute an article you have authored to the Guest Column, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space. Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com. Please label the topic: “Guest Column.”)
Dear Therese,
I am a young stay at home mother of two, happily married, and I am a fairly spiritual person. My life is really good, but I still feel kind of depressed. I read CWG saying that my life isn’t about me, it’s about others, so I give all I can to my children, my husband and I do volunteer work. I think I need some “me” time, but I feel guilty because that might take away from my giving to others. What am I missing? Aren’t I supposed to feel better because I am giving?
Ann in Missouri
Dear Ann,
Yes! You are supposed to feel better, but it isn’t your fault that you don’t. Cultural influences around the world tell us that women are not supposed to be selfish, that they are not equal to men, that they should be ashamed, and that time for themselves is time they should be using to give. They have it backwards.
Ann, you are one of the “others” that you can give to. You are certainly an “other” to those who know you. Are you trying to do all of this alone, or are you reaching out and taking help when it is offered? I know that I thought I had to be strong and independent…but it only isolated me. It is not weakness to ask for help. If it is okay to give to others, it is also okay to give to yourself.
Let me expand on that. If you do not fill yourself up, do you realize that you are not really giving as well as you think you are? When you are running on fumes, even if you are giving all that you are capable of giving, the person to whom you are giving still knows they are not being given the very best you can give. They may not know why something doesn’t feel right and true, but they know it, and don’t accept your efforts in the way you think they should…which means your effort was inefficient at best. We do no one full justice when we do not give ourselves full justice. When we are insufficiently full, we give insufficiently.
It is not selfish to have “me” time, if the intent of that time is to make yourself whole, so that you may give of yourself well. That is the mistake we make in our cultures.
selfish |ˈselfi sh |
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
Sweetie, you do not fit the description of “selfish”. You do fit the description of tired, and needing to fill yourself.
Taking “me” time can take many forms. The first form I would suggest is simply using the word “no” more often. If you are like me, the kids will invariably come into the bathroom whenever you are there…close the door! I even wrote a poem once called, “The Temple That is my Bathroom”! quiet, personal time, consciously taken, does not need a special space. Take a bubble bath, or long hot shower, and shave those legs or use that loofah for more than 10 seconds…consciously enjoying the delicious time taken just for you. Meditate…there are many ways of meditating that don’t require you to sit for an hour, including simply being aware of your breath, or stopping for a moment and noticing who you are with respect to your surroundings.
There are grander things, of course, like taking a short vacation by yourself, or with your spouse to get reacquainted, going to two movies in the same day, auditioning for a play (not volunteering, unless it allows you to move into an area of joy you don’t usually get to experience), or sending the kids off to grandmother’s for a week. Consider going on a retreat.
“Me” time is essential…and you should also thank your depression for helping you to be aware of what is not working for you. Depression gets a bad rap in this world. Yes, there are people who are clinically depressed, and that is a very different thing, but most of us are called by depression to do something very simple…to stop…and listen to our bodies and our spirit, and recognize what is not working. Pay attention to it. It could also be a sign that you are not eating well, BTW, so remember that you are a mind/BODY/spirit being.
So, sweet Ann, be selfish. You just might find your full magnificence if you are!
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
It was recently brought to my attention that my driver’s license had expired and that I had been driving around town “illegally” for over two weeks. This troubled me, of course, because I immediately thought for sure Murphy’s Law would pay me a visit and I would, for the first time in years and years, now ironically get stopped by the police for a moving violation or a broken taillight or, worse yet, maybe find myself involved in an automobile accident, my expired license only adding to my misfortune. Yes, I was frantically writing my own best-selling “what if” story.
But my mind was also busy imagining a situation that perhaps, at least more immediately, was even worse than that — the dreaded thought of having to make an early Monday morning visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my lapsed license. Oh, just the thought of waiting in those long lines, only to be served by overly tired, underpaid, and under-appreciated government employees who spend long dreary days in a gray office with no windows, determined to suck all of us into their miserable lair. Thought by thought, I was erecting giant walls of resistance around me.
So I came up with a plan. I would be the very first one in line! That way I will avoid those long painful lines and maybe find myself fortunate enough to be served by someone at the DMV who hadn’t yet been worn down and numbed by a full day of monotony. Yes! That is what decided to do. So I smugly arrived at the DMV at 7:45 a.m., knowing they opened at 8:30 a.m., and feeling confident that I would be the first to arrive.
Except I wasn’t. I was not the first person in line. I was the second person in line.
And this is when I met Bob.
Bob is an 82-year-old gentleman who, like me, came to the DMV office to renew his driver’s license. But it did not take long for me to experience the “real” reason Bob was there.
Bob was there for me.
This soft-spoken, kind man, with a smile that extended into his eyes, thought that the driver’s license office opened at 8:00, only to discover that he now had 45 minutes to wait outside on the unforgiving hard sidewalk, with nowhere to sit, nowhere to rest his frail legs. But what he did have is someone to talk to, to share his life with, to laugh with, to be present with, someone who understood the much, much larger reason for his “mistake” in thinking the DMV opened at 8:00 and someone who also now understood the underlying purpose in my premeditated “plan” to beat the crowd.
I was there for Bob.
In those precious 45 minutes, I learned from Bob that he said goodbye to his life-long companion just six short months ago. And he misses her dearly. I could feel his sadness and deep love for her. I knew that Bob was experiencing her presence just by having someone to share her memory with, that her essence was alive and very real in our interaction with each other, and I was honored and profoundly touched to be chosen as a surrogate with whom Bob could once again experience her love and grace.
I learned from Bob that he wobbles when he walks sometimes. But he says he does not think of or label this as “stumbling” or “wobbling.” Bob says he is dancing. And in our short time together, Bob danced a lot. I wonder if in some of these seemingly unsteady moments his soul is engaging in a breathtaking waltz with his beautiful wife?
I learned from Bob that even though he is no longer able to travel around the country in his motor home as he once did with his Beloved Other, there is a wonderful channel on his Dish network that shows beautiful scenery from around the world — majestic mountains, tranquil beaches, and colorful fields of flowers. And if you get up really early in the morning, at 4:00 a.m., as he does, you can watch that program and “feel like you are right there. ” And “if you are a believer,” as Bob offered to me, “they even scroll some scripture across the bottom,” to which he gently and thoughtfully added, “if you want that.”
I learned from Bob that even though his life partner has continued on in her soul’s journey, he still greets each new dawn with purpose and appreciation. While he oftentimes yearns for the physical presence of his wife, he understands that he still has soul work to do and a life to live and experience – and he has decided to show up in his own life with humor, kindness, and intention.
There was a point in my life, not too very long ago, when I would have missed entirely the enormous gift being presented within this relationship and within this experience. There may have even been a time where I would have avoided this wonderful elderly gentleman altogether by inconspicuously burying my face in my phone or casually dismissing him with a polite smile. Boy, am I thankful I am not living in that space anymore.
My encounter with Bob is a reminder that what I think is going on isn’t always what is going on. My well-laid plan to beat the crowd at the DMV and to make sure that I avoided an uncomfortable personal experience had nothing to do with what I originally imagined. Bob and I had a soul agreement long before our bodies arrived at that particular location at that particular time and in that particular way.
How would our lives change if we viewed every person with whom we interacted as an intentional and purposeful gift? Have our souls chosen the people who are in our lives and those that are held within our next choice? Or are we just randomly bumping into each other? It is easy to view our own biological families and chosen partners and our children and friends as gifts. But what about the passers-by? What about the person next to you in line at the grocery store? What about the “overly tired, underpaid, and under-appreciated government employees who spend long dreary days in a gray office with no windows”?
We sometimes realize after-the-fact that something big, something of importance, something Divine has just taken place. But when we come to this same realization “in the moment” we are actually experiencing it, we can see the opportunity we are being given to remember a little bit more about who we are and why we are here, and we become powerful creators and flow-throughs of God’s love.
At 8:30 on the nose, the doors to the DMV opened and I followed Bob into the building. We parted ways to go to our respective service windows, immense feelings of gratitude welling up inside me. When I arrived to meet the person who would be assisting me that morning, the person to whom I had projected unfavorable predictions upon, the individual whose mere existence I was a short while ago resisting, I was warmly greeted with a radiant smile and a cheery, “Good morning! How may I help you today?” – and I immediately knew another opportunity was presenting itself to me.
(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com)
I’m looking for practices that support my well-being and my staying connected to who I am, besides meditation (which I’ve tried and I just can’t seem to get the hang of!). Any good ones you know of that really work?
Ken, Ohio
Why yes, Ken, I do! This is one of my favorite topics to speak to, as I have found in my own experience as well as the experiences of my clients that engaging in a daily practice is the single most important thing you can do for yourself, and happens to be the key to sustaining your connection and well-being. When you show up for yourself in this way with such consistency, commitment and discipline, you are becoming aligned and present in life in such a way that positively and powerfully impacts every aspect of it. The reason for this is because engaging consistently in practices such as meditation allows you to stay in a high-vibrating, good-feeling place, and you are able to access more clarity, truth, intuition, wisdom, inspiration, motivation, etc. than when you are feeling disconnected, negative, and vibrating low. So I always encourage my clients (and myself) to make their daily practices as important and as high of a priority as eating, sleeping and breathing are, and I’m not exaggerating.
So I’ll get off my soapbox now and give you 3 of my favorites:
~ Daily Gratitudes: Each day spend a few quiet moments writing down at least 10 things that you are truly grateful for, and consciously choose to make your first and last thoughts of the day thoughts of gratitude. I have no doubt in my mind that if each and every one of us did this the world would be a much better place.
~ Incantations: Very similar to affirmations, yet waaaaayyyyyy more powerful because we are engaging your energy and physiology with the words to produce the “feeling” of what you are saying. Let me explain. You know how sometimes repeating an affirmation or a mantra can sometimes get frustrating because while you are saying it you are very aware that you are not feeling it? With an incantation, we choose our statement, and repeat it with feeling, much like an actor delivering a line. We also repeat it while engaging in a “power move” or stance, a movement or position that makes you feel powerful. The results are quite magical. For example, if you were to use the incantation, “I am confident and happy”, repeating it several times with emotion while moving your body powerfully (or even just standing in a yoga pose or something), you would find yourself feeling confident within minutes, sometimes seconds. You see, incantations help us immediately manifest the emotion, which is what we’re looking for anyway. It’s not the house, the car, the job, the relationship, etc. that we want, it’s how we think it’s going to make us feel. Imagine being able to feel however we wanted to without the things we think we need in order to feel it first – that would mean we literally do not need anything outside of ourselves in order to feel good (see: illusion of need from “Communion with God”)! And a lovely added benefit to this is that our very “feeling” or “being” draws those things to us (see: process of creation from “Happier Than God”)!
~ Meditation: Yeah, yeah, I get it – you’re not good at it. But I’m going to include it anyway because the benefits are endless, and I’d like to offer you a new approach/perspective on it: there is no wrong way to meditate. Whether it’s sitting in silence with your eyes closed focusing on your breath, doing a guided meditation, or just daydreaming, you are benefiting. Try a few different things on, without judging them, just notice which method you like best. And start small – even 3 minutes a day every day can work wonders.
Try these out, Ken, and see how they feel. But give it a good two weeks of committing to practice these every day no matter what so that you can really feel the impact. Because it doesn’t really matter what you do, it’s the fact that you take time to go within consistently that creates the experience of well-being and connection. Enjoy!
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now, and I feel like we have tried literally everything, even IVF – needless to say nothing has worked. I’m at my wits end with this process. I want a child so badly, yet I can’t continue this cycle of disappointment, it’s making me miserable and is even beginning to affect my relationship with my husband. Medically, chances of us conceiving are very low, but not impossible. However, I am one who believes that anything is possible and I don’t want to give into the odds! But what can I do? Where is my baby? Feeling very desperate at this point, don’t know if you can help but I follow CWG books closely and thought I’d give it a try.
~ Jeannie, Arkansas
Jeannie my heart just aches for you. I feel the pain in your words, and your frustration is palpable. I so admire your strength, courage and perseverance, it speaks volumes to who you are as a person. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make it happen for you.
But since I can’t, I will offer you my intuition on your situation. When we want something so badly in life that it consumes all of our attention and creates a boatload of negative feelings in us, the resistance that we feel around the whole subject actually begins pushing it away from us further. Conversations with God describes the using of the words, “I want” as a declaration of lack, of the thing you want not being there right now, and the Universe responds to this and gives you more of the experience of wanting. To take that even deeper, it isn’t the actual words “I want” that produce more of the wanting, it’s the vibration you are offering when you speak them (or, the Sponsoring Thought – the thought behind the thought). For example, when a child sees a commercial about a cool new toy and exclaims in excitement, “I want that!”, he isn’t coming from a place of lack, he is coming from a place of desire and joy at the thought of having that toy. But when a person living paycheck to paycheck declares in frustration, “I just want more money!”, they are all too aware and consumed by their lack of money.
I’m describing the above to you, Jeannie, for two reasons: 1) You’ve created a lot of resistance (quite understandably, I might add) around becoming pregnant and 2) you’re speaking and thinking about it from the vibration of lack. I know that may sound harsh, and I assure you that I am not implying that you caused any of these “problems” in the first place, I am simply pointing out how you can approach this energetically and spiritually, as I too, am a believer that anything is possible. So, then, let’s look at what you can do about it.
Declare your intention from a place of desire. In other words, what can you say about this that actually feels good to say? An example might be, “I look forward with joy and gratitude to the day when we conceive.” Do you enjoy praying or communicating with your guides/angels? Then by all means pray for it, but offer up a prayer of gratitude. The gratitude acknowledges that it is already there, or is at least on its way. One of my favorite prayers of gratitude from CWG is “thank you, God, for helping me to understand that this problem has already been solved for me.” See how much better that feels?
Next, back off from it. Move from this state of resistance to a state of allowing. You see, our only job here is to be clear on what we want and decide that it’s coming, and you only need to do this once – it’s the Universe’s job to figure out “the how”. It doesn’t mean stop trying to have a baby, it means let go of the resistance around it, and take action from a good-feeling place. So what might that look like? It could look like diving into a fun project, getting artistic and creating something, practicing daily gratitude, taking up a hobby and inviting more fun and lightness into your life. It could look like going out on dates with your husband and appreciating the free time the two of you have right now, making love simply to express how you feel for one another.
In short, you know you are in a state of allowing when you feel good, you feel light. Let it go for now. Let the Universe do its job and give yourself a break. Your faith and belief are so strong, Jeannie, I can feel that about you. Backing off and giving yourself permission to feel good about life is your way of exercising that faith, and wonderful things come of it.
Sending you lots of love throughout this process,
Nova
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Each year, the fourth Thursday of November is set aside as a day of giving. As we give our dishes, give our time, and give our thoughts, we come together on this day to give our love to our closest family and friends. If only once a year, we become aware of just how significant these people have been in co-creating our life story. By giving our love, we become grateful of the love that has been given to us. For the essence of this day, Thanksgiving Day, is the expression of gratitude.
As we express our gratitude, we slowly begin to understand the Bigger Picture. When we are grateful for all the little moments, with friends, with family, with ourselves, we begin to understand how each of these moments, occurring at exactly the same moment and instant of time, transformed our very definition of Who We Were into Who We Are. By taking a single moment of gratitude for these moments, we are inspired by the incredible awe of how every decision, every occurrence, every conversation led us to become the very being we are today. By taking an entire day of gratitude for these interactions, we are the source of ever-constant awareness that only seeks to expand love and compassion in everyone that crosses our path. Within just this one day, we spread our gratitude into a world that needs further compassion.
Within understanding the feeling and energy behind gratitude, we can’t help but to wonder about our time frame for giving the gift of gratitude. Why can’t we nationally recognize gratitude on more than just one day in the year? Why can’t our thankfulness for our family, friends, and community last longer than the second course of the dinner? We can extend our gratitude beyond the calendar day and into every day and continue to feel that awe and wonder in every breath of life. Loving another, or even loving yourself, has NO limitations in its magnitude or its duration. Within our generation of teens, the gift of gratitude is one that is felt far beyond one day, but extends itself into lifetimes. We, as the new generation, will decide our choice of expression. Live the word. The Word of Gratitude.
(Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
