Kevin McCormack
Recovery from addiction, self absorption, behavioral deficiencies, and even old world thinking are one in the same. The first thing that is needed for change to take place is desire. Many times it also takes outside pressure to make “flip the switch” in our brain.
Closed-mindedness is the enemy to change. Most of us have a desire to be “right” about how we do life. We spend an enormous amount of energy on proving ourselves to be correct and in the process making other “wrong.” Denial is a defense mechanism of the ego that we use to shield ourselves from criticism. The willingness to address this denial and closed-mindedness is critical to change, and ultimately, happiness.
Opening our minds to ideas that may seem foreign or “wrong” doesn’t mean accepting these things as true, it just means that we are willing to look and listen, maybe even try it out. We can always go back to our way of doing things if these new suggestions do not bring us to a greater place of joy and freedom. After all, isn’t joy and freedom what we are all looking for here? I haven’t met anyone who truly lives just to be more miserable. Yet some people spend a great deal of their lives, maybe even all of their lives, unhappy.
I’m here to say it doesn’t have to be that way.
Life is constantly changing. That is what life is all about. Everything is in motion at all times. It is certainly true that people are changing all the time. Resisting this change is where our unhappiness is rooted. Going with change, and accepting it, opens us up to feeling better about situations that we are not really comfortable in. Finding an attitude of gratitude, even for unpleasant experiences, will serve our happiness better in the long run. One of the most profound statements to come from CwG is “what you resist, persists.” The follow up to that is, “what you look at disappears.”
Developing a practice of quieting the mind is key to handling the stresses of life with more control and confidence. The minds of the addicted are constantly racing. The unharnessed mind is the enemy to serenity and peace. Many times in our lives our conflicts escalate because we don’t stop to think about the appropriate responses. Our society pressures us to have quick replies, and immediate results. We constantly find ourselves falling into the rabbit hole because we don’t stop to take a breath and quiet our mind before we fire off a retort.
Saying yes to opportunities that stretch our comfort zone often reaps fantastic rewards. If you have ever seen the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey I have found this practice to be very much like the movie. In our active spiritual life we are inspired to call forth new experiences in our lives. We set our intentions on whatever it is, we say a prayer or two requesting things, then we sit back and wait for them to appear, only to be disappointed and discouraged.
We ask,”what is the problem?” I have done all the right things, set my intentions, prayed, put into place a mantra or incantation practice, and I still have not experienced what I asked for. We assume that God said no.
Well God never says no. The answer is always yes, and it is always immediate. The problem is, in most cases, we didn’t know what to look for. Many times the experience is dangled in front of us, but the road looks too scary or risky and we turn back. Sometimes we say no to things that appear out of the blue because we are skeptical or cynical.
Being aware that life is a contextual field reminds us that where one thing exists the opposite must also exist in order for us to fully grasp the grandness of anything. So if the opposite is presenting when you ask for a thing, bless it and thank it for its presence, for without the opposite we cannot appreciate the fullness of a thing.
So here is a quick list of my favorite practices. These are the things that I find expand my consciousness, while at the same time opening up more space for me to experience happiness, joy and freedom, the holy trinity of a wonderful life.
1. Yoga – Healing the body, focusing the mind, tending to the spirit. You cannot beat yoga for finding peace. Side benefits: the people you find in the rooms are on the same journey as you. Looking for peace, health, and love. Not just looking, but creating.
2. Reading – Find the books that open your heart and your mind. Study them deeply. If you find something that works, keep on doing it. Then share it. What you give to another you give to yourself.
3. Communicate- And when I say communicate I do not mean talking only. Listening is a lost art in our culture. So far lost that is really all people want from others is that they just listen. You don’t have to have the answers, in fact, you shouldn’t have the answers. We all have our own answers; many times we just need another to be a heart with ears. Listening, not judging or condemning.
4. Drop expectations – When we expect things to appear there can be only two results. One, we get the thing. Two, we don’t. And if we expect something and get the opposite result, suffering can take place. It is great to have a preference for a result, but expectations usually end in letdown.
5. Be creative – And I don’t mean painting pictures or drawing elaborate plans, although those are wonderful things to do. What I mean is intentionally create your state of being. Decide before hand what it is you wish to be, and then be it.
6. Step outside your comfort zone – It has been said that if your palms aren’t sweating, you aren’t living, and I believe that is true. Great joy can be found in putting on our big boy and girl pants and living on the edge of comfort. Sometimes this just looks like starting a conversation with a stranger on an elevator instead of staring at the wall wishing the doors would open.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and Recovery Advocate. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Hi my name is (_________) and I am an addict, alcoholic, compulsive gambler, sex addict, risk taker, over-eater. These words are repeated daily by millions of people in recovery. The reason given for saying these things lies in the belief that those who forget are doomed to repeat. This is decent logic, but is there a better way to achieve the same result? And when I say better I mean, more effective. After all, isn’t effectiveness the goal of all that we do in life?
Life is all about the effects. Our thoughts, words and actions, are the process that we use to create the effects which we desire to experience in our lives. Not very many people would ever admit to striving for mediocrity, although behaviors may indicate otherwise. Most people wish for and strive for higher and higher effectiveness in their daily lives.
I’d like to call into question the logic of placing a derogatory statement about ourselves behind the two most powerful words in the human language. If those of us in recovery are seeking to remain abstinent from the substances and behaviors that we found ourselves unable to control, wouldn’t it stand to reason that we may want to make a more positive and empowering statement about who we are?
In the world of recovery there is most important thing is of course personal sobriety. In order to achieve and maintain long term sobriety a person either needs to be extremely determined not to use under any circumstances or create a life that is so grand that using would never even be an option. I recommend the second choice there if you are wondering. The first option is called abstinence or as the old timers would call it, “dry drunk.” The second option is called sobriety.
You may ask, what is the difference between abstinence and sobriety? That is a very good question. Abstinence is simply taking away the substance like alcohol or drugs and doing nothing at all about the underlying conditions that created the issues in the first place.
Sobriety is a daily practice of self awareness and self improvement. Persons who take on the role of raising their consciousness about themselves and their surroundings often find themselves to be happy and fulfilled, as well as inspiring to others. Sobriety in this form is very contagious and people flock to you to share in the energy.
Many words have negative energy as well as negative connotations surrounding them. Words like, junky, crackhead, drunkard, lush, addict, alcoholic etc, not only have a darkening effect on the user but also projects out that same dark energy to surrounding ears. Place the words “I am” right before them and we are actually summoning that definition to our reality.
There is a recovery film out now called “The Anonymous People.” If you get an opportunity to watch this please do. In this documentary the political history of the 12 step programs is investigated deeply. Many people have lobbied our politicians to find more funding for recovery programs and addiction treatment facilities. Currently the political answer to addiction is incarceration. Because we can all see how well the prison system is reforming people (sarcasm.)
So the question then becomes how is that one of the greatest public health threats, addiction, isn’t treated as a healthcare issue? One possible answer lies with the image of those of us in recovery. When a person who is not in recovery hears one of us introduce our self as, “Hi, I’m Kevin, and I am a drug addict.” They see a person with a moral deficiency.
The same “normal” person responds differently when I introduce myself in a more positive light. Hi, my name is Kevin McCormack. I am a person in long term recovery from the disease of addiction. For me long term means almost 27 years of continuous sobriety. In those 27 years I have experienced great things in my life such as a long term job of 20 plus years, continued education, but most of all the respect of my family, friends and self.
This type of shift in our language not only sheds light on the positive in our life which keeps our mind on what is most important, but it also brings about a certain level of respect and admiration from those who do not fully understand the disease of addiction.
Ultimately, personal recovery is goal number one, however, the twelve steps is very clear that “we cannot keep what we have without giving it away.” How can we give it away if we are hidden away in the basement of a church surrounded by those who have already found it?
Humanity would be well served if we took the anonymity of ourselves a little less literally. By all means I am not saying we should disclose someone else’s participation in recovery. But it serves very little good to keep who we are secret. It is time to stand together and raise the awareness of those in need. Recovery is possible. A happy, productive life is at your finger tips. Come walk with us, people in long term recovery who wish to help others achieve the same.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and Recovery Advocate. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
During a recent recovery training class I attended the teacher asked the following question: Who is the person that all addiction professionals have the hardest time helping? The answers were coming fast, and all were wrong according to him. Some said “meth-heads,” others said “methadone addicts,” and other answers consisted of bulimics, anorexics, over-eaters, cigarette-smokers, etc. The professor just kept shaking his head no. Finally someone gave the answer he was looking for: co-dependents. There was a collective sigh of agreement from the room when the answer was given.
The human ego is our outward expression of who we think we are. Ego is what we show to the world. A Course in Miracles defines ego as “nothing more than a part of your belief about yourself.” Of course, for the most part, our belief about our self is almost always very limited and oftentimes incorrect. Nonetheless, it is a critical part of who we are and how we experience life here.
So one of the most difficult things to get across to someone who has been affected by the behaviors of their loved ones is that they have been negatively impacted much in the same way that their loved ones are. When the topic of co-dependency comes up with a family member of an addict or abuser, the answer we get is almost always the same: “I am not the one with the problem; they are!”
It sure is easy to see it that way, too. The alcoholic/drug addict has clear and definitive symptoms. Their lying, stealing, scrapes with the law, loss of jobs and relationships directly relate to addiction. Yeah, addicts are pretty much out in the open with their disease, but guess what? They don’t see it themselves. And the same is true for co-dependents. They do not see the destructive nature of their behavior but, most people around them do.
For the outsiders, co-dependent behavior is baffling. Many say, why won’t she just leave him? Or how many chances will he give her? Or I can’t believe they put up with that kind of behavior. Rational people cannot grasp what keeps the co-dependent repeating self-destructive behaviors.
My heart goes out to the sufferers of co-dependency. The longing for love lost is heartbreaking to witness.
When an addict takes his first drink or drug, they have no idea they are going to become enslaved and addicted to it. At some level, however, we understand that what we are doing could have some serious consequences. When a person falls in love with an addict or an abuser or a person with a narcissistic personality, they are much more unaware that they have become collateral damage to the disease of addiction.
To some degree, addiction is contagious.
How can a person’s thinking not be affected by the unpredictable behavior of their loved ones? Our ego, in many cases, attaches ownership to our significant others. We feel responsible for their behavior and their public image. Soon we begin to lie to cover for them. Not to protect them. Usually by that point we don’t care much about them anymore. No, we do it to protect us. We don’t want anyone to see that we don’t have it all together.
This is the point our ego becomes the obstacle we must overcome. And sadly, many do not. If only we in the helping community could get the point across that when we have one finger pointing at someone else, there are always 3 pointing right back at us. Try it and see. No, the thumb doesn’t count!
What I would like to get across here in this blog and in my life’s work is that recovery from anything is really our human quest. Staying the same, remaining unchanged, attempting to uphold an image of perfection goes against what the human experience is all about. We are here to grow and experience all there is and as much of it as possible.
Sadly, what happens to all too many of us is that we end up experiencing the same things over and over again. After 50, 60, 70 years of that, many are so done with it they just wish life would end. I don’t feel it needs to be this way. I have met countless people now in my 26 years of recovery; and for the most part, these people are living and enjoying life again.
Being in a place of actively welcoming change into your life is a magical place. Breaking down the walls of ego and being transparent with your life is a gift from the soul. We can’t learn anything if we are always right. We can’t receive compassion from others if we hide our pain and sorrow. We can’t experience love others until we learn to love ourselves.
Co-dependency, like addiction, is not a derogatory identity to have. It is merely the path we have chosen to take on this particular journey through the physical. We have been here before; and undoubtedly, we will be here again.
If this article has struck a chord with you please feel free — no, feel inspired to comment below. Be the one who starts the conversation. Be the source of recovery from the destructive thought patterns that limit our experience here in the physical realm. This is your invitation.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
This is that special time of year when we dream about peace. We visualize prosperity and proclaim that old acquaintance be forgot. We experience the giving and receiving of gifts and most people find themselves feeling rather charitable. Yes, compassion fills our hearts and olive branches are extended. The world’s armies put down their guns and break bread with their opponents. We all come together and unite for a fleeting moment on Christmas Day.
Well, at least that is how all the songs and movies depict it anyway. What actually happens for many this time of year doesn’t quite fit the bill of “joyful and triumphant!” Many people find themselves stressed over the financial burden of the holidays or the pressure to purchase the perfect gift for their special someone. How could I not mention those in recovery and those who are still suffering with addictions?
This time of year can be very challenging to the newly sober person. There are Christmas parties where even casual drinkers drink too much. The expectation is to let loose and live it up. For a recovering person, this isn’t an option and most people can’t understand that. For those with addiction, one is too many and a thousand is never enough.
But the end of the year is a great time to reflect over the past twelve months. It is good to look at our lives from time to time and decide what is working for us and what is not. For many, we will look at our physical condition and decide that it is time to make some changes. Come January 2nd, the gyms, yoga studios, Pilates classes and the YMCA will be standing room only for three or four weeks.
Deep inside, all of us are yearning for the same things: happiness, joy, contentment, peace, and freedom. We just have no idea how to get it. Does it come from things? Does it come from others? If you love me, will everything be okay? Do we attain happiness from money, food, sex, drugs, being right? What is it? And why do we have such a difficult time finding it and holding on to it?
I believe we have set up a system of living that just flat out doesn’t work. Most would say, “If I had more money, I would be happy.” The facts simply don’t prove that. Very few people who win the lottery actually find happiness. Many end up in a deeper pit of despair in a very short time.
Happiness is a decision. Not a simple one, I might add, but it is a decision. And it would seem many of us are simply incapable of making that decision. Why do you think that is? Is it our ego? Are we hardwired for “my way or the highway”? Isn’t it time we break out of the “do it my way or else” paradigm?
I believe that we are becoming more conscious with time. I can look as far as my own life and see that my own beliefs have changed drastically since I was a child. I have expanded my view of the world and strive to continue to do so. I can also see in the children of today that they appear to be well-equipped to take us to a higher place.
I choose to believe we are going there. In fact, I believe we are already there; we just don’t know it yet. When asked, “Why do you strive to change the world’s view of God?” my reply is simple. It would appear to me that the world’s perspective of what God is and wants for us isn’t working. Now, I am not going to force my belief on anyone, but I do not hesitate to bring it up in conversation when I see the opportunity. I know my perspective of God changed, so why can’t others? Why can’t we all keep an open, flowing, and ever-willing-to-change view of God?
Let me ask you this: If given the opportunity to be right or be happy, which would you take? Now to take that one step further. If all you had to do was consider that what you believe to be true about God may not be the whole truth, and by doing so could bring you to a higher state of happiness, joy and freedom, would you take it?
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
“As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those which will tear us apart, all will be well.” Narcotics Anonymous literature
Conversations with God, along with countless other spiritual and religious institutions, mention that we are all one. Many of us, myself included, would nod their heads in approval not truly knowing what this means, or if we really even believe it to be true. I mean, how can the guy who nearly ran me off the interstate today truly be one in the same with me and my God? You see, my God is loving and caring and compassionate, and always considerate! My eyes tell me we are not one in the same.
Ah, now there is the rub. We are one, just not the same, by design. We are one on our journey of self-improvement, evolution, and struggle to overcome what our eyes tell us we are separate from. We are cut from the same cloth of God and we come here to experience the grandness of life. Many times we become entrenched with the conflict between what our heart feels and what our senses pick up from external sources. Resistance and opposition are viewed as negatives while offering us the grandest of all gifts – contrast.
When I first began my sober life, I was fortunate to meet people who welcomed me in and identified with me. In fact, I was told that I was the most important person in the room that day. This was because the people who were already there needed to see that their old ways were not working. I was the gift for them that day; I was the contrast.
Together we are in this physical plane of life where we require a contextual field to provide us with a definition of ourselves. Without all of you, I have no way of knowing anything about me. God has given us this life, indeed. He has joined with us in this physical vessel we call our bodies so that she, too, may know the grand nature of his-herself.
The first thing that brought comfort to me when I entered the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous was the togetherness, the oneness, the comfort in knowing that I was not alone in my dis-ease. The 12 steps are the same regardless of which program you enter. The wording only changes slightly, but the meaning stays the same. So the reason there are so many different programs available is simple. We are all seeking like-minded people. We feel comfort around those who know what we have been through by their own experience.
Recovery in the purest sense is not possible without incorporating others into our healing process. Healing cannot take place without the help, support, and encouragement of others. This is not to say people can’t stop using on their own. They can and do. Recovery is a completely different than simply being abstinent; recovery is a state of being.
When in recovery, we are a light unto the darkness that others suffering with similar dis-ease can be drawn to. Our energy is shifted from that of reaction, to a place of creation. Each day brings about an opportunity to consciously observe and create our self in a more grand way. We look at areas of shortcomings and recognize the need for change. In moments of enlightenment, we can admit to others that we behaved in ways that we were not proud of and express our intention to make every attempt to correct our behavior.
Doing these things brings about a sense of pride in ourselves that we have not experienced in a very long time. We share with others our struggles and our victories. We ask each other for help in our times of weakness and we lend our shoulder to others when they experience theirs.
The sober/recovering person is a gift to the community and inspiration to those still suffering. In this state of beingness, one invites others into the dark corners of their life and does not hide behind excuses any longer.
Isolation is the partner of dis-ease. Experience tells us that where two or more are gathered, God is made flesh. Many years have gone by since I was greeted that fateful day. I owe a debt of gratitude to that room of people who opened their arms and welcomed me in. I have long since moved away from that room of people, but I have taken the gift they gave with me. It is now my place in recovery to welcome newcomers into the room, and tell them they are not alone anymore.
Join us Path to Peace recovery retreat in Orlando, Florida, October 24 – 27th. JR Westen and myself are taking the messages found within the ”Conversations with God” Cosmology, along with our combined 53 years of personal recovery from alcohol, drug, and food addictions, and offering these retreats as a means of returning people to their authentic selves. We understand the difficulty people face with overcoming these challenges in life and offer a simple, compassionate, and effective means of living a happy, joyous, and free life. These retreats are not simply a weekend long reprieve from our troubles. Each attendee will be introduced to past and future participants through our community Facebook page. In addition, any past participant can attend any future P2P retreat for any donation they wish to make. You read that right – any donation, from $1 to infinity. We have seen the lives of people change and remain changed from these retreats. If this is for you, click here to register.
We understand that there may be financial hardships keeping you from attending this retreat. If you feel you would benefit from this retreat but cannot afford it, please contact Will@cwg.org and ask about our scholarships. It is our deepest desire to help those who truly seek change and we want nothing to stand in the way of that.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
“No persons do anything inappropriate, given their model of the world.”
It is not difficult for any of us to look around and find something we deem wrong with our fellow travelers’ behaviors and beliefs. Our mind many times cannot wrap itself around the inhumane things people say and do. Thankfully, this says a whole lot about us — we are getting there.
Where is it we getting to? I would like to think that at some point each of us will be more concerned with how the Whole was doing rather than how the Self was doing. I do think that with each visible transgression we humans perpetrate on each other, more and more people decide to become willing to choose compassion over aggression.
With the social media era in full swing, we now are exposed to worldly events the instant they happen. We have multiple sources covering every angle of every story, and the funny thing is, we all interpret these events differently. This should clearly show us that there is no such thing as Ultimate Reality here in the physical world. Understanding this great truth should free us to more easily accept those who do not agree with our point of view.
“Ours is not a better way, ours is merely another way.”
On September 11th, 2001, many of us here in the U.S. were faced with an extreme contrast to our way of life. We witnessed the inhumanity of man on our own soil. Fear, sorrow, anguish, and suffering were felt across this land as well as abroad. But at the same time, empathy and compassion were expressed as never before. Many people were shocked out of complacency and stepped right into a state of being most of us do not experience in life: unselfish, unconditional love.
With the yearly anniversary remembrance behind us, my thoughts have moved to some of the other societal ills that plague man. These are, of course, my opinion of what “ills” are.
In the light of recent events in Syria, I have determined that as a collective majority we are fairly comfortable with letting people kill each other in the name of war; we just have certain guidelines as to how it should be done. I am, however, proud that we were able to, at the very least, postpone correcting unacceptable behavior (the use of chemical weapons) with the use of unacceptable behavior (launching missiles). This tells me that we may be seeing a little more of the light of compassion than we have in previous years.
Moving to something a little less dramatic, yet nonetheless what I would call a societal shortcoming, we have designer Brian Lichtenberg. Brian is the man behind the controversial “prescription” t-shirts. Brian is trying to capitalize on society’s obsession with, and in a lot of cases addiction to, prescription pain medication. His money-making idea was to create t-shirts like sports jersey’s with the name of a drug such as Adderall, Vicodin, Xanax, to name a few, on the back, with a number below, emulating sports apparel.
Brian, like many people, is a business man. He is trying to do what we are taught from a very early age is the ultimate goal for a human – make a lot of money. One of the things we don’t teach is to do so without causing harm wherever possible. Brian’s creation, although creative, is turning out to be offensive to many and he is now feeling the crunch. Many have spoken out against him and now the drug-makers themselves are considering suing him to cease and desist.
While drug use did not go up or down in relation to this event, our collective conscience did experience a shift. Many spoke their minds and found themselves supported by their communities. Each experience we have of standing in our authentic truth and being supported encourages people to become willing to do so.
Much like the events in Syria that brought us to the brink of yet another war, Brian Lichtenberg has ushered in a new era of people rising up against what they believe is behavior not becoming of 21st Century humans. His view of the world was narrow, and the masses have stepped into authenticity and said we will not stand by quietly and let you do this.
The point of this article is to show that we, as individuals, have more power over worldly events than we believe, as well as making the compassionate comparison to how we go about expressing our power. Man has typically chosen raw power as the first means of expressing our opposition to those thoughts or actions we feel strongly about. It is becoming clear that what Einstein is so famously quoted as saying is true, “You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.” The younger generation and the social media outlets are providing a forum for many people to express their ideas, beliefs, and opinions about these worldly events. This is moving the stick of our evolution at an ever-increasing speed.
“When people know better, they do better.” ~ Maya Angelou
We may be the toddlers of the universe, and all that means is that we are growing up. And it may seem like it was just a short time ago that we would stand, stumble, trip and fall, but now we are starting to walk. We may not be ready to run and we may still lose our balance, but we are growing up fast. Each day provides us opportunities to express our authentic self. Many times we are still going to say and do things that are not in alignment with that, but we are aware. And with each time that we do take a deep breath of courage and stand in our truth, we are empowered to continue to do so. When we act consciously and collectively, our strength is multiplied.
With all eyes on our societal shortcomings, we see where we came from. We express our opposition in healthy ways and remain committed to peace and serenity being the guiding force in our lives. Imagine the world our children and their children will live in with hope and pride. There is nothing to fear about the future because each new generation is enriched with the mistakes of previous generations for which to decide how they will make their own. So far, it is working perfectly.
Just another reminder to those wishing to change the direction of your own life or helping another to get out of the rut of addictive behaviors, our Path to Peace recovery retreats are just the place to do that. JR Westen and myself are taking the messages found within the ”Conversations with God” Cosmology, along with our combined 53 years of personal recovery from alcohol, drug, and food addictions, and offering these retreats as a means of returning people to their authentic selves. We understand the difficulty people face with overcoming these challenges in life and offer a simple, compassionate, and effective means of living a happy, joyous and free life. These retreats are not simply a weekend long reprieve from our troubles. Each attendee will be introduced to past and future participants through our community Facebook page. In addition, any past participant can attend any future P2P retreat for any donation they wish to make. You read that right, any donation, from $1 to infinity. We have seen the lives of people change and remain changed from these retreats. If this is for you, click here to register.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Just about everybody knows someone who is addicted to something, and I am not talking about the soft addictions that limit our connection to our highest self. I am talking about hard core addictions that are affecting the lives of not only the addict, but also many lives around them. Addiction takes no prisoners and it spares no lives. Families are torn apart, friendships are dissolved, businesses go bankrupt and employees lose their jobs. Children are left without parents and parents lose children to drug related tragedies.
Many of us have been asked to help someone who is in need of treatment, only to find that after a few days of sobriety the person has returned to their past behaviors. I know of one person who has spent over $200,000.00 on treatment programs for his son only to have him end up using after all was said and done.
Addicts are not soulless-bad people who willingly harm others for the sake of doing so. They are suffering with a disease that affects their mind, body and spirit. They are doing what they feel they need to do in order to survive and they live in fear of having to change their way of life. They are afraid because the disease of addiction strikes at the center of the brain that operates through our subconscious; the same part of the brain that controls our heart beat and our breathing as well as many other survival functions.
If you have ever watched the television shows such as; Addicted, Intervention, or even My Strange Addiction, you will see the cold hard truth of what it is like to be under the spell of addiction. You will see, “Continued use, in spite of negative consequences” up close and personal. Still, without having the experience yourself, you can never truly understand what is going on in those persons thoughts. The behavior appears to be completely insane, and it is.
Insanity is defined: Repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results. The addict truly thinks that the next drug is going to fix them and they will never need to use again, hence the term “get my fix.”
What I have found in my experience, as well as in the experience of others, is that insanity is temporary. The second step of the Twelve Step programs is; Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. So how do we do this? How do we come to believe? How did you come to believe? Have you always believed? Do you still not believe?
When I first came to sobriety, and was confronted with this step, I did what many others have done; I went on faith. If it worked for others it could work for me – unless they were lying! Yes, I didn’t believe yet, but I was willing to give it a try. What I have come to understand over the years of being clean is that to be fully sane, is a lifelong process. I return to sanity in bits and pieces only to awaken to other areas of insanity. Through the enlightenment of unhelpful behavior patterns exposed in my life, my level of joy and freedom are increased.
To be fully sane, is a lifelong process.
Faith is simply taking someone’s word for something and being willing to give it a try. It doesn’t mean just trust me and don’t question me. Faith is not going blindly on what others say. Faith is temporarily putting aside current beliefs to experience another way of doing things. Faith, with experience, turns to belief. Belief, with experience and awareness, turns to knowing. When you get to a place of knowing something to be true, you have found peace.
So this is what I am here for, to help others to take a leap of faith, and support them through their process of coming to believe, and then walking beside them as they get to know, who they really are and what they wish to do. This is life in recovery. This is the path to peace.
In June we kicked off our first in a series of CWG on recovery retreats. A small group of people all shared a life-changing event. If you are in recovery and not experiencing great joy and freedom or are still suffering with addictions, please consider giving yourself this experience. Our next retreat will held in San Jose, California, Sept 19 -22nd, 2013. On October 24 – 27th, 2013, we will have another retreat in Orlando Florida. Click here for more information on these life-changing retreats.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
I haven’t talked much about food here on this blog because — well — I don’t consider my food consumption to be anything to brag about. I do not eat perfect by any stretch of anyone’s imagination. I also feel terribly uncomfortable discussing what is “good” and what is “bad” in regards to diet. But I do want to speak about how and why we eat what we eat, as well as what is going on behind the scenes, which could be extremely helpful to those who are seeking better health and more happiness.
When I was younger and still in my active addiction, I began having indigestion problems. I know, hard to believe that a person drinking himself into oblivion every day would have an upset stomach every now and then, but I digress. My heartburn was pretty severe, and I was convinced to go see a doctor to have it looked at. His words were very simple and have stuck with me to this day: “Kevin, it’s not what you eat, it is what is eating you.”
At that time in my life, I didn’t think about what I ate or why I was even eating. The only thoughts I had were “I’m hungry” and “what is available?” The truth be told, it has only been a few years that I have placed much consideration into what my diet was and how it could be affecting my health. The results of my looking into the connection between food I was eating and my health could not be denied.
My diet prior to this awareness is quite startling when it is seen in black and white. In the morning, I would have a huge cup of coffee, sweetened with the “pink stuff” (Sweet ‘n Low), and diluted with half-and-half. I followed the coffee up with two everything bagels. Mind you, this was an everyday meal of mine for 20-plus years! There were random variations from this breakfast, but not much.
Lunch was either a whole sub sandwich or fast food, preferably from Mcdonald’s as I had found that Burger King didn’t sit well in my stomach (go figure!) Either of the choices would have included a large Diet Coke and chips or fries (large, please!)
Now, somewhere between lunch and dinner would be a mandatory stop and a 7-Eleven for a Super Big Gulp of Diet Coke and 1 or maybe 2 packages of Twinkies or the equivalent Hostess-type snack. Dinner would typically be a meat and potatoes variety meal with the occasional substitution of fish or pasta. Most days a nice big bowl of ice cream would conclude this daily battering of my body.
Please note that water was not part of any of the above meal plans.
You would think with a diet like that I was most likely obese. Think again. I was about 20 pounds overweight, but I carried it fairly well. You see, I was really active. My job was physically demanding. I live in a hot tropical climate so I would burn a lot of calories. This kept my weight pretty consistent.
What didn’t stay consistent was my health. In 2007, I started to have trouble with tingling fingers on my right hand. I lived with it for a while, and then my left hand started to go numb as well. I started seeing a specialist, who would give me steroid shots. These worked at first for a few months. Then I would slowly start losing the feeling again. The diagnosis was carpal tunnel syndrome. I dealt with this the best I could for a few years, and the doctor finally told me that the only thing to do moving forward would be surgery. I didn’t elect that option as I was worried that I may lose the function of my hands. I was a trim carpenter, and without the use of my hands, would find myself out of a job. So I decided to just live with it.
In March of 2011, I developed a new problem. From what seemed like out of the blue, I couldn’t raise my right arm up and hold it level to the ground. If I lifted up with my left arm, it would fall right down as soon as I let it go. I was urged to go to a neurologist to get it checked out, and the resulting diagnosis was three herniated discs in my neck. I was devastated, afraid, and depressed.
Just three months earlier my wife had convinced me to go to yoga with her. Yoga, for me, was love at first try. I felt at home in the yoga room and went to class no less than 5 times a week. I was feeling good about myself and my diet had drastically changed from what it was above.
I was drinking roughly a gallon of water a day and rarely had diet soda anymore. I was incorporating more salads into my diet and red meats virtually vanished from our meals. My sweet tooth had gone into remission and I had melted off 35 pounds in those 3 months of yoga. I continued to use the “pink stuff” in my coffee and didn’t think too much about it.
The damage from my unhealthy diet was done prior to the herniated discs. My MRI showed bone degeneration in my C3 thru C5 vertebra. All was not lost, though, and this was just the beginning of a very cool journey for me.
The day I was told of my herniated disks, I drove to my yoga studio to let my teacher know I wouldn’t be able to do yoga anymore. I was an emotional mess and felt my joy and passion were taken from me. My yoga teacher then told me of this doctor who was literally right across the street and how he had helped her get through a similar issue. My despair was turned to hope in the blink of an eye!
This injury turned out to be the biggest turning point in my life since I had become sober. I began to see the signs that my soul was sending me. I not only saw them now, I paid attention, I listened, I asked for more signs, and learned to express gratitude for them.
Within 3 months, I not only had regained full strength and range of motion in my right arm but my hands were also completely healed of the numb, tingly sensation that had plagued me for the last 4 years. I had eliminated the “pink stuff,” “yellow stuff,” and any other harmful chemicals completely from my diet. I replaced sweeteners with raw honey or Stevia. My morning breakfast was a giant serving of fresh fruit smoothies blended right in my own kitchen. This way I had full control of all the ingredients.
Health and nutrition for me become synonymous. I also caught on to one other thing about eating. When I was conscious about my food choice, I felt really good about myself. Is it raw or organic? Does it contain artificial sweeteners? Does the food I am eating contain words I could never even pronounce? I have become aware, conscious, and full of intent with my eating. Be it “good” or “bad,” I am aware. I make the conscious choice and I remind myself of the consequences.
I am the last person to judge someone on what they are eating. I will never do that. I will be the first person to share everything I have come to know with those who seek the knowledge. I believe we are what we eat and I no longer feel like I have Twinkies for fingers! There is a connection between consciously choosing our food and a happy, joyous, and free life. My body told me for many years in a variety of different ways that what I was putting into it was harming myself. It took a big scare for me to wake up and listen.
In our Path to Peace Recovery Retreats we look at nutrition very deeply and examine healthier ways to eat without sacrificing fun and flavor. As a matter of fact, the food I eat now and the manner in which I eat is extremely satisfying on all levels.
You see, I am a recovering addict. My disease does not know the difference between alcohol, pot, cocaine, heroin, meth, food, sex, power, or victimhood. The disease of addiction is a brain disease that runs rampant when left unchecked. The results are always the same: negative consequences or recovery. With support, recovery is a path to peace, joy, and freedom like no other.
In June we kicked off our first in a series of CWG on recovery retreats. A small group of people all shared a life-changing event. If you are in recovery and not experiencing great joy and freedom or are still suffering with addictions, please consider giving yourself this experience. Our next retreat will held in San Jose, California, Sept 19 -22nd, 2013. On October 24 – 27th, 2013, we will have another retreat in Orlando Florida. Click here for more information on these life-changing retreats.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information at To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Have you ever had one of those days where you are just skipping along, happy as can be, and seemingly out of nowhere a fun-wrecker comes in and attempts to steal your joy? Are you the kind of person who has to exert some sort of power or control over others in order to feel somehow better than them or above them? Do you know a person who is constantly putting other people down so at a later point he can swoop in and raise them up to fulfill some sort of hero role? Some people will go as far as to become physically abusive to their spouses and children to maintain the illusion of power. There are many more examples of power-trippers, and please feel free to share your experiences with us in the comment section below.
Most often we think of “power-trippers” as having very low self-esteem and assume they are using the behavior as a mask for their supposed insufficiency. The truth is they are addicted to something much more destructive and insidious: dopamine.
Dopamine is the great “I am.” It is a naturally occurring neurotransmitter that, when flowing, produces a feeling of euphoria. Dopamine is our ego. To understand this better, when a cocaine addict is using, the chemical response in the brain is to release more dopamine into our system. So the person who has learned how to control that release simply by exerting control over others is just another drug addict who is under the spell of their drug of choice.
There are not too many power addicts walking through the doors of 12 step programs to get their addictions under control. Many of the people who have this affliction will take it to their grave with them. There is also very little sympathy out there for these type of people, nor should there be; however, without the help of loved ones, addicts suffering seldom have the opportunity or the encouragement to make changes in their lives. Without the understanding of what is triggering the nasty behavior of the “power-tripper,” family, friends, and loved ones eventually exit from the relationship.
Compassion is what is needed to help the person suffering with this disease. Yet without the knowledge of what is going on, most people cannot muster up the motivation to be compassionate. Ultimately, life is about our interpersonal relationships. Most of us would consciously choose not to be in relationship with a person who is constantly controlling everything and everyone around them. Yet unconsciously we find ourselves having to work or socialize with power mongers fairly often. So why is this? What could the possible benefit to the continuing evolution of mankind be?
Love.
What greater practice could there be than loving a person who is exhibiting unloving behaviors? Where we get mixed up is, what does “love” look like? Do we give in and let the person treat us badly? Is “taking one for the team” ever a productive or effective way of loving someone into wellness? No. Love is strong, love is confident, love is trusting in the way of the universe. Love knows that each individual must walk his or her own path, and that we can influence but we cannot manipulate.
There is much room to explore this topic together. Please take some time to comment down below about your experience as a power-tripper or with a control freak. Have you or someone you know recovered from this disease? How do we spot this behavior before we get in to deep?
Last month we kicked off our first in a series of Path to Peace recovery retreats. A small group of people all shared a life-changing event. If you are in recovery and not experiencing great joy and freedom or are still suffering with addictions, please consider giving yourself this opportunity to soar into grateful recovery. Our next retreat will held in San Jose, California, Sept 19 -22nd, 2013. Click here for more information.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Change is difficult. Unwanted change can be painful and challenging. Recovery from addictions, hard or soft, is no exception. Anyone who has consciously made the effort to rid their lives of a behavior they deem destructive or no longer useful can attest to this. So why is it that when we come to the realization that we desire change it then becomes difficult to follow through?
Personally, I have chosen recently to stop drinking coffee or any other caffeinated beverages. It has been 18 days of complete abstinence for me, yet I know this territory very well. I have quit before for longer periods of time. The difference this time is, I have been seeking the support of others and remaining aware of my tendencies.
Thoughts create our urges and cravings. Sometimes the triggers are subtle, other times they are very predictable. I have just about every Starbucks in the greater Orlando area mapped out in my head. When I am driving, occasionally I will have the thought “hey, there is a Starbucks right around the corner.” This is the moment of choice. Do I react or do I create? Do I give in and damage my self-esteem or do I acknowledge my own power and move on? I have found the best way to choose the latter is to enroll others in my journey.
The frontal lobe of the brain is the cognitive center, and its function is to separate out thoughts and filter them in the way we direct. The midbrain is the impulsive, reactive center in the brain. The midbrain sends its messages 7 times faster than the cognitive brain operates. This is because the midbrain’s function is to preserve life. When we practice cognitive behavior, we are much better prepared to handle the impulsiveness of the midbrain. Increasing our awareness is a slow process that takes practice and willingness.
So how do we direct the frontal lobe to make choices that support us in where we say we want to go? This is the great challenge all of us face in life. What are the voices in my head? How many of them are there? And which ones do I listen to?
Life can be a lot like typing. We can hunt and peck our way through, hoping we create a document worth reading before we die. Or we can blindly stroke keys and end up with a mess of letters on a page that do not form any meaning at all. Or, lastly, we can train ourselves to memorize where the keys are and which fingers to use to hit the keys and really create a work of art in a much shorter period of time, allowing for greater amounts of creation during our lifetime.
The “qwerty” way of living life takes a little more upfront work in the form of practicing healthy patterns of living so that we can start to direct our life with more focus and determination. Have you noticed that the things in life you pay most attention to are the things that manifest in your reality? Positive and negative, this is how life works. God provides us with exactly what we place the majority of our intention on.
This is why it is so important to make sure you are sending out the message that you want to experience and not place your energy on what you do not wish to experience. Many of us tend to fall prey to the thinking that life is not on our side and that we are somehow at a disadvantage to others. So long as we play out that belief, it will appear true.
“The Universe is like a big Xerox machine.
It simply produces multiple copies of your thoughts”
Conversations with God, Book 1
When we decide to make a change in our life, circumstances will present in the form of “are you sure?” I have had many “are you sure” moments over the last 18 days of abstinence from caffeine. From the wonderful smell of the coffee tray coming down the aisle of the airplane I was on and mercilessly stopping right next to me for what seemed like 5 minutes. God, it smelled good! But I had support, people who knew what I had called forth in my life. And whether or not I didn’t take the coffee because I would have been embarrassed to admit I didn’t succeed or I simply chose not to, doesn’t matter. I remained resolved in my quest. One day at a time. One craving at a time. One “are you sure?” moment after the other.
The moments when a craving hits or an opportunity presents itself to relapse into past behaviors and we choose to rise above and recreate ourselves in a new way, we reinforce our new pattern. After doing this repeatedly, the new pattern becomes the norm and the “are you sure?” moments become less frequent.
So I choose to embrace these “are you sure?” moments and recognize them for what they are. They are the spiritual barbells of the universe, making us more powerful in our ability to create our lives in a more conscious way.
What are your experiences with “are you sure?” moments?
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. The next retreat will be September 19 – 22nd in San Jose, California. More information on retreats can be found here. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
