The Global Conversation

Tag: Choice

  • The Wrong Choice Doesn’t Exist

     

    I’m struggling with a recent choice I’ve made, and desperately trying to find my spiritual center here, as it is pretty clear I can’t go back on this decision.  I entered into a business agreement/partnership that I was at first really excited and happy about and am now feeling full of fear, doubt, and maybe even some regret.  I feel stuck in this decision, and I’m confused by how confident I felt when I made it and how I’m so not right now.  Not sure what I’m asking here, I guess I just want to know how to deal with something that I’ve created and am feeling lost about.

    Michelle, Tampa

     

    Hi Michelle,

    In my book, there are few feelings as bad as the one you get when you think you’ve made a mistake – it’s torture!  I feel for you, I do, but I also have some very good news: there is no right or wrong choice here.  There is the choice you make, the meaning you give it, and where you choose to place your focus from there.  These 3 ingredients heavily impact your experience of the choice you’ve made, and more good news, you are completely in control of that.

    It sounds to me like what you are asking for here is how to feel good about your choice, or at least your current experience.  It doesn’t hurt to mention that if backing out is something you truly want and believe is the best for you, it is always possible; when there’s a will there’s a way and all that good stuff, but I personally look at it as more of a giving “the how” of it over to the Universe or God to figure out.  But to be honest with you, Michelle, that’s not really the vibe I’m getting here.  I could be wrong, but let’s go with it anyway.

    It is completely normal to feel scared out of our minds and filled with fear, doubt, anxiety, worry, etc. after making a life-altering decision, and I’m guessing that’s a large part of why you can’t connect to that original enthusiasm and excitement you felt when making this business decision.  Conversations with God says that there is no right or wrong, no should or shouldn’t, there isn’t even an absolute truth.  Life has no meaning, in fact, save the meaning we give it.  So how do we go about making decisions from that understanding?  CWG also says that your own truth about something will be your highest thought, your highest feeling about something, which I like to translate into if it feels good, it’s right. Remember, Michelle, it felt really good when you made this decision.  The fact that it doesn’t so much now doesn’t necessarily point to it being the wrong decision after all; like I said, it’s more than likely a very normal reaction to a big change in your life.

    So if you can accept all of that to be true (and it’s totally okay if you don’t, at the very least use it as a context to decide even more clearly what is true for you), then it all comes down to those last two ingredients I spoke of : choosing the meaning (and I recommend choosing something that feels good) and then consciously and diligently placing your focus on the parts that you like, and avoiding the rest like the plague.  Put another way, if the meaning you decide this experience is that it is indeed the right choice for you, and it’s completely natural for you to freak out a bit and that’s okay, spend your time and energy focusing on and turning up the volume on the things about this business agreement that excite you, that are attractive to you, that light you up.  Turn it up so loud that you can’t even hear the rest (fear, doubt, uncertainty, etc.), in fact, turn the volume down on that stuff!

    It is entirely in your power to enjoy and feel good about this decision, Michelle, any decision really.  Look at this as some really good and really BIG practice.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

    An additional resource:  The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

  • Georgia has more questions!

    Dear Therese,

    Georgia here again.  So what about the current state of affairs in this world?  It is obvious, to me at least, that we are being lied to by so many that we have trusted to tell us the truth.

    Take, for example, our weather patterns these days.   Cloud formations that used to be rare are common place now.  There is increasing evidence that the clouds are being chemically created.  This brings us to two points.  Barium and aluminum are being dropped on us something like 5000 times the norm. Just like gmo food, they are using us as guinea pigs to see the side effects.  AND they are using the force of nature to the advantage of big business and government.  I think they are purposely using these things to keep us scared and controlled.  They are not using these things for the “good”.  I think you would think long and hard about the effects of these chemicals if one of your kids was messed up in the head and the other other one couldn’t breathe bc of possibly being those guinea pigs.

    We have the capability to manipulate something as big as the weather and it would be awesome. But now is no time to lay down and volunteer but a time to demand that we have a right to know what is being dumped on us. Because we lay down and take it, we are condoning to the “elites” that humanity has no value.

    How are we to think of these things as spiritual opportunities??

    Georgia

    Wow! Georgia, I like that you are asking these questions!  Putting the everyday reality into a spiritual perspective is sometimes very hard…almost impossible sometimes.  Okay, I’ll give a spiritual explanation and some perspective on these things a shot here.

    My thoughts:  man can do just about anything.  We can create and engineer even human life.  Many think this to be a sin.  Only God’s territory.  As you know, I think we are all “gods”.  (As CWG puts it, individuations of Divinity.)  Engineering life, or engineering clouds, it isn’t about doing these things, but for what purpose they are being done.  This, then, becomes a matter of individual and collective choice.  Do I have a problem with engineered clouds being used to create water in a drought area?  Or to recapture wasted water to refill the aquifers?  No.  Do I have a problem using them to cause destruction to profit big business and control the people?  You betcha.  So, personal and collective awareness is, as usual, the key (opportunity) to changing how we use our power…and that changes as we begin to view humanity as One.  Realizing the butterfly effect is real.  In Christian terms…what you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me.

    I would also urge you to keep open the possibility that at least some of these cloud/weather changes may be circumstantial, as opposed to insidious.  Be very careful to avoid being sucked into the story of the way things are, and stay as much as possible in observing the facts (as you know them) of what you see.

    Which actually takes me to the esoteric question of “why not”?  If this life is but a continuation of life, and we really, as CWG states, have no life to lose, why not consciously agree to be the guinea pig to further the course of humanity?  Why not volunteer?

    Ahhh, there’s the key!  We are NOT volunteering right now!  But what if we were, for real, given that choice?  Might that not change some things?  Might life look more like an opportunity than it does now?  What if we were told up front that there was going to be a section of this planet used to experiment on long term human effects?

    Older people might volunteer to live in “chem zones” to give their children’s children a better life.  Especially since much of the world is starving due to lack of rain for crops.  We are sacrificing ourselves for far less noble things already.

    Don’t mistake, please, that I think it is okay to be doing what they are doing, in the way they are currently doing things.  Transparency…choice…is the key.

    There is abundant room for changing how we look at life…and that’s exactly what this site is all about!

    One more thought… An unfortunate statement about humankind is that sometimes the masses are so meek and compliant that it takes a “madman” to step out of the box…a person  (or group of persons) who dares to even think something is possible!  Now we sane, but outside the box thinkers, Spiritual thinkers, have (the opportunity) to either keep the madmen in check, show the madmen a better way (who he/she really is) or empower the  masses.  Or at least begin to en-mass allow the sane, outside the box thinkers/doers to not be reviled.  Currently people are afraid of being relegated to the fringe of their families/societies/religion if they don’t stay inside those boxes.  Portrayed as unpatriotic, heretics, crazy and or conspiracists. Make sure to look at your own views of others, and not disempower.

    Georgia, in our search for a better way of living, we do have to be very alert to not falling into yet another power grab agenda masked in altruism.  (Opportunities to Be discerning, careful, vigilant?)  We must be careful of anyone who wants us to be fearful vs merely aware.  I get the feeling that there are many agendas in play here, and many are proclaiming themselves to be the one and only “right” one.  All of which means, to me, that we have to be “cafeteria Catholics” and pick what works from each, and figure out what is truly for the greater good…and create our world consciously from this point forward.  Knowing that what works now most likely won’t entirely work, oh, two thousand years from now!  We must now work the idea of change into our long term thoughts.  The opportunity to create our own agenda…not all agendas are self serving and malevolent.  We can include the thoughts of others and other ways.

    On the subject of religion, and government, it is encouraging to see even  the Pope and Rev. Pat Robertson changing their minds about homosexuality on even a minor level.  The United States has made major attitude and legal changes in this area. This may seem off topic, Georgia, but it is all wrapped up in control…the ultimate control…of sexuality, and specifically the feminine energy….feminine energy and attempts to suppress it. Just look at television commercials geared for girls and toys for them. Absolutely ridiculous that still, in 2013, all the girl toys are make-up, hair playing with dolls, dolls to teach them how to be a mommy, brat dolls that are nothing but materialistic, fashion creating websites, jewelry making, hair extensions and color. Whereas the boys toys are geared around imagination and engineering!! We are “Madison Avenue-ed” into our roles from an early age.  Warriors that are used to protect money and the status quo are called heroes and idolized.  A woman who questions that status quo is a B word or worse…never spiritual, intuitive, peace-maker.  The divine feminine is Mother, but not in the way it is currently portrayed.  These times are giving us, I believe, our opportunity to create balance.

    Georgia, the bottom line of what I am saying is that we do have control.  We have control of how we think and feel about this world we live in.  We can fall into the chaotic energies swirling about, or we can keep the perspective that we are the butterfly that can effect our world.  We can become a conscious part of the collective, and influence that collective.  We are being given many opportunities to choose how change happens.  I believe we, as individuals, through our thoughts and actions, can not help but influence the direction of humanity.

    Rudyard Kipling said it perfectly.  (I know, I know, this post is getting really long, but I think it is an important topic!)

     

    If—

    If you can keep your head when all about you   

        Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

        But make allowance for their doubting too;   

    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

        Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

    Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

        And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

     

    If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

        If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

        And treat those two impostors just the same;   

    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

        Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

        And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

     

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings

        And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

    And lose, and start again at your beginnings

        And never breathe a word about your loss;

    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

        To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

    And so hold on when there is nothing in you

        Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

     

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

        Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

        If all men count with you, but none too much;

    If you can fill the unforgiving minute

        With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

        And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

     

    (Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website atwww.ChangingChange.net . She may be contacted at:                                                              Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

    An additional resource:  ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

     

     

  • Beating the Winter Blues

    My question deals with something that may sound trivial to others but is a serious challenge for me.  I’m wondering what the spiritual approach to dealing with the harshness of winter would be?  Although I have never officially been diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), I’d lay money down that I have it.  I am happy, content and thriving throughout most of the year until these harsh winter months hit, especially after the holidays.  All I seem to want to do is stay home, sleep, and disengage from life.  It truly is a struggle, until spring comes and I’m back to my old self.  I’m no longer okay with feeling awful for 3 months of the year for no good reason.  There’s got to be another way, right?

    ~ Mark, North Dakota

     

    Hi Mark,

    There is always another way, because we are creative beings and have the ability to decide how we want to experience any given thing in life.  And when co-created events show up that are seemingly out of our control – like harsh, cold, long winters (I’m from MN so I can soooooo relate to this) – we get the opportunity to decide how we are going to experience them as well as who we are in relationship to it.

    So now, Mark, it is your turn to decide who you are in relationship to this thing called “the harshness of winter”, and create your experience of it.  Don’t worry, I’m not just going to leave you with that, I’m going to help you out with “the how” part as well.

    The very first step is to manage all of these thoughts and emotions you have because it’s winter, and the very best way I know of to do this is to engage in a daily practice, one that includes meditation (of any kind, whatever works for you) and gratitude (writing down at least 10 things each day that you are truly grateful for).  Those two practices alone go such a long way in quieting the mind chatter and lowering external influences, because it shifts your focus on what is good and gets you centered and connected – always a great starting point when approaching anything in life.  Plus, they raise your vibration and put you in a place of desire (creative) vs. a place of lack (resistant) for the next step, which is…

    Decide and express who you are in relationship to winter harshness and how you’d like to experience it.  Let go of any beliefs about how you’ve experienced it in the past, or how you think it has to be, put your focus on the way you’d like it to be for you, and then express that.  For example, if you decide that you’re actually okay with hibernating for winter, then get some good books and/or movies, buy one of those “snuggie” blankets to curl up in, light a candle or start a fire in the fireplace, and enjoy the comforts of home.  Quit making yourself wrong for it.  On the other hand, if you decide you’d like to still be able to get out and about and be active during the winter, then make it a point to schedule some social dates with friends, sign up for a class, or plan a winter weekend getaway.  Engage in winter activities like sledding, skating, or building a snowman, enlist a friend to join you and use each other as accountability partners.  Make it a point to connect.

    I used to despise the months of January and February here in Minnesota, they were so cold and so long and I never wanted to do anything.  My experience nowadays is vastly different.  I decided that I am naturally one who does slow down in the winter and hibernate a bit,  I spend a lot of time in my cozy house (and yes I have a snuggie blanket) with my family and watch a lot of movies.  And I love it.  You see, I no longer make myself wrong for wanting to do those things, I embrace it.  Incidentally I also decided that I wanted to be someone who enjoys winter, and while the latter is part of what I now enjoy about it, I also make it a point to schedule outings with my family and friends, and play in the snow with my 3 year old (something I previously also despised).  And what makes this a sustainable choice and expression of who I am vs. a fleeting one?  Those daily practices I spoke of as step one.

    Although you may never have a direct say in the weather conditions of winter, Mark, you most certainly have a direct say in how you experience it from now on.  And I don’t tell you this in theory, I tell you this from my direct experience.  I even look forward to winter now, something my former self of a few years ago would have laughed in your face if she heard you say it.

    P.S. I’ve also heard those sun lamps are great for those dealing with SAD, you may want to consider getting one, or making a commitment to spend time outside every day it happens to be sunny.

    Nova

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Do You Really Know Your Enemy?

    As teenagers, young adults, old adults, and at every age in between, we have encountered at least a few obstacles that have impeded our progress. Some call it a mere nuisance, while others, when driven to the extreme, have sworn it to be an eternal enemy. No matter what story we are looking at, there always seems to be an antagonist in our great adventure – someone or something that seems to set us back, holds us from achieving our greatest desires, and prevents us from being truly happy.

    Or so we thought.

    In The Storm Before the Calm, Neale asks us one of the Seven Simple Questions, which is, “Is it possible that there is something that we do not understand about ourselves, about our own life and its purpose, the understanding of which would shift our reality and alter our experience for the better, forever?”   There certainly is, and it is simply that we are not recognizing the humanity in our enemies as a further extension of ourselves.  Just as in everything that occurs in our lives, our “enemies” give us the potential to grow in our spiritual development as well – if we choose to.  If we choose to create new relationships, ones not based on hate, or loathing, or animosity, but in love, forgiveness, and growth, then we can create the New Cultural Story that our world so desperately needs. No matter who or what you consider your enemy to be, you and the opposing force you face are always for the same end goal:  to obtain a higher understanding of Who You Are.  Quite often, embracing the “enemy” is the next step to be taken.

    Though changing our relationship with our “enemies” may seem improbable, it is indeed possible. A change of heart and a change of mind can be seen in the incredible story of Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix.  A November 2012 edition of Spirit Magazine details this journey to its beginning in 1995, where Ples Felix’s teen grandson, Tony Hicks, had shot Azim Khamisa’s only son, Tariq Khamisa, dead in cold blood.  Despite his mournful situation, Azim Khamisa did not look for vengeance against the Felix family, but ultimately recognized that “there were victims at both ends of the gun.” In their 1995 meeting, Azim Khamisa should have certainly saw Ples Felix as part of “the enemy,” but with the higher guidance of love and forgiveness, both men recognized the loss that each other felt as a result of the incident, and were able to form a communal bond over that experience. From this recognition of humanity in one another, Khamisa and Felix co-founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, which teaches nonviolence and individual responsibility to at-risk teens across the world.  As a result, nearly 9 million teens worldwide have heard this message of forgiveness. If just these two men were able to look beyond their personal vengeances and create a new relationship entirely based on forgiveness, awareness, and unity, then what would happen if we did this with all of our “enemies”? Now that’s an Overhaul of Humanity if I’ve ever experienced one.

    We as teenagers and future adults need to become responsible enough to know that there is always more behind the story. What may seem to be our greatest adversary is most likely one of our greatest stepping stones of higher awareness. By understanding our interactions with our “enemies,” we can choose to consciously shift our beliefs and attitudes so that we can create a more meaningful relationship with them, the world, and ourselves. No matter what stage of our life we are in, there will always continue to be people that challenge our choices and well-being. Will you recognize them for their choices, for their understanding, for their own journey that now is ultimately apart of your journey too? Will you grow with them on that journey, and will you become even more of who you are?  As always, the choice is yours.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)