recovery
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was very young, maybe eleven or twelve years old, hanging out with a friend at “The Pit.” The Pit, as we called it, was an old foundation of a house that was dug into the ground. We made a makeshift roof out of junk wood and metal we had gathered up from our neighborhood. This became our version of a tree house that we would hang out in and do “kid stuff.”
At this point in our young lives, “kid stuff” was gathering up Playboy magazines and stealing beer and cigarettes from our houses and maybe even some of our neighbors’ houses. (Sorry, Mom and neighbors.) Call it boredom, call it fitting in, call it copying adult behavior, or call it small-town living. Whatever you call it, not every kid did it the same way, so the bottom line is this was just our way.
I was raised Catholic. My family went to church pretty regularly and I attended Sunday School taught by the priest or nuns. My brother was an altar boy, and I choose to follow in his footsteps. I really think I did it because sitting in church was murderously boring, and at least being an altar boy gave me a job and a purpose for being there.
I certainly listened to the teaching. Again, some of it did not interest me much and other parts of it were just confusing. I did, however, learn that good people went to heaven and bad people went to hell. This seemed to be the crux of every fable, story, or parable that we examined. I also learned that the lines were sketchy, at best, of what was the difference between “good” and “bad.” There were some behaviors that the teaching was pretty clear on, though. And by the time I was a pre-teen, I had already done some of the “bad” ones.
Now, I don’t know if the church was clear on the whole “forgiveness of sins” thing, or perhaps I didn’t pay very close attention to that part, but I was pretty sure that there was a good chance that I was doomed to hell at an early age. And to be really honest, I didn’t care. If I am going to be completely candid here, I will admit that I never really cared for the whole “born in sin” thing. In fact, it really made me kind of mad.
Back to that day in “The Pit.” My friend and I had just found a new thing to do. I do not remember who, what, or where we got the idea from, but we decided to crush a bunch of No Doz tablets up and snort them. I clearly remember us saying “since I’m going to hell anyway.”
I would like to be really clear here that I do not blame my religious upbringing on my decision to practice risky behaviors like abusing drugs. The point I am trying to make here is that I believe that my young mind rejected the idea of my being born in sin. The term “sin,” to me, meant “bad.” So if all people where born “bad,” what is the point of that? What message does that send to someone of that age? Or for any age, for that matter?
Here is where your personal power can be experienced: Stop calling yourself bad, stop labeling your behavior as bad, stop judging others’ behaviors as bad. Look at things and see if they are producing the outcome which you desire. If not, call them “no longer useful” and move away from them.
Start taking notice of your preferences. There is a huge distinction between “preference” and “addiction.” If your choices are not producing the life you say you want to lead, choose again. Does this sound too good to be true? I assure you it isn’t. And people are doing it all the time. The only thing that limits you is what you think limits you.
The only thing stopping you from making changes in your life is your fear of the unknown. Life is here to conspire with you, not against you. It has been my experience, and the experience of many others, that when we decided to give sobriety a chance, life got better. The Soul offers us unlimited grandeur; the Mind desires to keep things small. The Mind is all about survival; the Soul knows survival is guaranteed.
I choose today to hold beliefs that serve my purpose. Fear-based beliefs no longer work for me. Conversations with God tells us that “obedience is not creation.” I would say that obedience is an escape hatch that we use in order to not be responsible for our choices. I have heard Neale say, “no one ever does anything they do not want to do.” I have placed a great deal of thought into that statement, and I would agree.
“Most people on earth don’t believe in God as God really is because it is just simply too good to be true.” ~ NDW
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
A person named “Wendy” wrote to tell me of an ad she saw on television. In this ad the person states, “I was an addict for 10 years, now I am not.” Wendy wanted to know how could someone claim such a thing when everyone knows, “once an addict, always and addict.” Here was my reply:
There are many paths to enlightenment and there are many ways to recover from addiction. I, for one, do not call myself an addict anymore. I find that labels tend to attract their own definition into our reality. I do say that I am a person in long term recovery from addiction. The distinction is that I am fully aware of the power of the disease of addiction and the cunning nature of the human mind. I have accepted that I have little to no control over mind and mood altering chemicals when they are in my system. Therefore, I do not partake in the lifestyle or activities that include drugs and alcohol in them.
So, for this person to say they are not an addict doesn’t concern me. A tiger always has stripes though even if we change its name. Watching the behavior and actions of another is the true definition of who they are. If they say they are not an addict and live a clean life they are in recovery. If they say they are not an addict and continue to do drugs and alcohol and exhibit the behaviors associated with addiction then they are just in denial.
Recovery to me is more than abstinence. It is a way of life, a way that includes self discovery, a softening of the personal agenda of life and a growing desire to lift others to greater heights. Recovery is about examining our behaviors and our beliefs and bringing them into alignment with who we wish to be. Recovery is a decision to face life on life’s terms.
So how do you help someone who is in denial about their addiction?
Well, if they are still exhibiting addictive behaviors you refuse to play the game. You speak from a place of authenticity and you tell them your truth. In Conversations with God it is said that “Yet despots cannot be allowed to flourish, but must be stopped in their despotism. Love of Self, and love of the despot, demands it.”
Addiction and despotism are of course not the same thing, yet the goal should be the same for all of us who claim to be loving beings. We should desire for each person to experience themselves in the next highest version of the grandest vision ever held.
Being vocally unwilling to enable the addict and refusing to take part in the lies, deception, and depravity of the disease is the best way to help someone who is experiencing it. They may cast you out of their life, but the pain of turning away someone they love for a substance will eat away at their conscience. Pain stacked up on top of pain will drive the addict to the tipping point we refer to as “the bottom.” The bottom is the place where the pain of using the substance is greater than the pain of facing up to who we have been.
The 12-Steps of anonymous programs work for some and not for others. There are other methods of recovery that work as well. Desire to recover and change is what it all boils down to. I am not going to advocate programs that claim to be able to help people modify their usage. I personally feel that is a path that all addicts have tried on their own with no success.
Alcohol is not something that is needed our useful to the human body. Anyone who claims to truly love themselves would never ingest even a drop of alcohol. I also believe the same to be true for other drugs. A person who is working on becoming more self aware, and returning to love, would be best served by being mindful food and chemicals they put into their bodies.
I would like to close this article with the “new Gospel” of CwG.
We are all one. Ours is not a better way, it is merely another way.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Thoughts are creative.
“Does this mean all of our thoughts? Every single thing we think, every minute, all day long?
No. And it is important to understand this. Otherwise we’ll wind up making our-selves crazy, trying to monitor every single thought that runs through our mind.
And that is an interesting phrase: “runs through.” If a thought “runs through” your Mind, it does just that. It runs through.
MOST thoughts DO that. They run through our mind like water through a sieve. Such thoughts have very little creative power. They’re moving through our Mind too quickly to build up enough energy to impact physicality.
It is only those thoughts that stick in our Mind that have power. What gives our thoughts power is the repeated thinking of them.
This places energy upon energy, building it up until it really MATTERS. That is: energy becomes physical matter.
SO!!!… if you notice that an idea is running through your Mind that you don’t like…. DON’T GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT. I mean that literally!
It’s your second thought that gives it power. (To say nothing of your third, fourth, and fifth thought.) If you repeatedly think something, you can be sure that you are magnifying its power.
This is the same thing as a thought being held in Mind not only ONCE… but by A LOT OF PEOPLE at the SAME TIME. This, too, magnifies the power of thought.
That is why collective prayer works.” Neale Donald Walsch.
Cravings, urges, compulsions, and obsessions are nothing more than our minds giving second, third, fourth, fifth etc… thoughts to an idea that should have just ran through our mind. When we can harness the power of recognizing a thought that no longer represents who we say we are, and make a decision not to pay attention to it, we remove energy from the negative and turn it into a positive.
And it is what we are Be-ing that is so very important in our existence here. Most of us think we are doing sobriety and that can indicate that sobriety is only a temporary state for us. When we decide it is our state of BEING, it becomes a permanent character attribute, one that we should wear on our sleeves so to speak.
Creating successful transformations from any patterned behavior requires an initial period of discipline before the newly chosen behavior becomes the norm. We perform regular functions so often, many times we find we do them without even thinking about them.
This is what I have found to be true of recovery. In the beginning I would entertain thoughts of using. What kept me from acting those out? I was also learning new behavior at the time. The new behavior I was learning was to seek help with my thinking problem. Sharing with other like-minded people, that I was having these thoughts, removed the power from them.
Over time, many months to over a year, the thoughts of using drugs or alcohol became less and less. To the point where, I can honestly say, I do not think about that anymore — ever. I am keenly aware, however, that the absence of cravings or obsession does not make me somehow “fixed” of my addictive nature.
You can see why a program of recovery from addictive or compulsive behaviors suggests that a person go to meetings on a daily basis. When we place our-selves in the rooms with other like-minded people, we are not only building energy upon our new sober thinking, but we are using the collective thoughts of the group to strengthen our resolve.
In order to manifest your hearts desires you must follow some simple steps.
- You must believe it is possible.
- You must acknowledge you are capable of creating it.
- You must set your thoughts in motion to creating this.
- You must be disciplined in keeping your mind focused on the task.
- Keeping in mind there is no such thing as time; remember to be grateful that what you wish already exists. In the program we call this “acting as if.”
Many times we allow our impatience to sidetrack us from our goals. We tire of all the work and no apparent movement towards our respective task. Ultimately, we give up and say things like, “oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be.” I call hogwash on the concept of “meant to be.” If some things are “meant to be”, then, others would be “not meant to be.”
If that is the case then we really do not have free will and we are simply the pawn in some sick twisted game being played out by a higher life form. If you believe the latter, you may want to ask yourself; what would the purpose of physicality be for the creator of all of this?
I am aware of the challenges of being disciplined in our thoughts. Negativity can creep in and take way our momentum. I find a few things can help to keep us on our path.
- Having a vision board
- Having an accountability buddy
- Being involved in a group of like-minded people.
- Starting the day with a reminder that what you wish is already in existence
- Ending the day with thanks for the experience of the journey
- Taking at least one action per day towards your goal
These are just a few of the ways we can remain true to our commitments. If you have others please feel free to share them in the comments section below. What works for you? What hasn’t worked? How can we support you? How can you support us?
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Many of you are aware of the amazing health and wellness benefits of acupuncture. I have a close friend who is a master acupuncturist and she has traveled all over the world to master her craft. She has treated me for various things over the years, and I am a big fan. Auriculotherapy is similar to acupuncture, but is only treated on the surface of the ear and there are no needles used in this type of treatment. Much like acupuncture, there are only a couple of contraindications. For safety reasons, auriculotherapy should not be performed on those who are pregnant or anyone who has a pacemaker. Auriculotherapy is completely safe on all others.
I am bringing you this article today because not very many people have heard about auriculotherapy. One of the most beneficial aspects of the treatment is the sedation effect. When we become stressed with our day to day living, our mind tends to go into what is called fight-or-flight syndrome. The symptoms of fight-or-flight syndrome are shallow breathing, increased heart rate, and our awareness is heightened. Our adrenal glands go into high gear and adrenalin is pumped into the blood stream to prepare us for battle. During this state of heightened awareness, we live our lives through the lens of fear. We are constantly on the defensive and looking for our enemies. Our ability to be creative is diminished, and rational, cognitive thinking is impaired.
After long periods of fight-or-flight syndrome, our body begins to break down. The negative thinking becomes firmly entrenched behavior, creating a vicious circle of stress-inducing thought. Chronic illness such as irritable bowel syndrome, indigestion, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, and addiction are common companions of fight or flight. Many seek treatment for the visible symptoms and are then prescribed drugs that simply mask the body’s attempts to show us there is something that needs our attention. By treating the apparent symptoms and not addressing the chronic state of being we have developed, the other symptoms begin to get worse. This is the never-ending cycle that so many people are now caught up in. We have become a society that has medicine cabinets full of drugs to “fix” things that can be easily corrected with a lifestyle change.
Many people fear that reducing their stress means less productivity. Our culture has us believing that our health and well-being is secondary to our financial security. Yet with the rising cost of health care, soon, if not already, it will be far more costly to neglect our health than continue a lifestyle that requires us to overwork and overproduce. Having a healthy stress management ritual helps us to be more productive in our work, emotionally available for our friends and family, and open to hearing our higher self and the soft hints of our intuitive nature.
Holistic wellness methods such as acupuncture, auriculotherapy, chiropractic, naturopathy, yoga, and meditation, to name just a few, are surefire ways to stop the fight-or-flight syndrome in its tracks. Stress can never be eliminated; in fact, we need stress in our lives to provide a contextual field and propel us to our natural state, which is self-improvement. Our society has all but given up on the natural path to wellness in favor of the quick fix in the forms of pills and surgeries. While I do understand that there are situations that call for the medical community to step in and help, I am of the belief that if we practice healthier, holistic lifestyles, the need for traditional medicine would be minimal. Stopping chronic illness starts at arresting our fight-or-flight response and finding a state of relaxation.
The first point treated in auriculotherapy is called the Shen Men. The Chinese have had awareness of this point for over 5,000 years. When the Shen Men is stimulated using the micro-current tool used in auriculotherapy, the mind becomes sedated, allowing for a greater connection to our soul voice. When the mind is “out of the way,” the body’s ability to heal is unlimited. Furthermore, the panic mode brought on by our fight-or-flight mechanism is virtually eliminated, easing us into a normalized state of being. Sometimes simply being reminded of what it feels like to not be worried or anxious is all it takes for a person to understand just how stressed out they really are.
There are over 350 reflex points in the ear referring to every system, organ, and limb of the body. The procedure is quick and painless, although some would describe it as mildly uncomfortable. The results are immediate and undeniable. For a quick and relatively painless session, relaxation is induced and fight or flight is arrested for the time being. If the person receiving treatment has any mild aches or pains, the therapist can locate and stimulate corresponding points and ease the discomfort.
Used in many treatment facilities, auriculotherapy has shown remarkable results in patient retention. On average, patients attending 28-day treatment facilities typically only stay around 10 days. Studies show that facilities who offer advanced relaxation therapies like yoga and auriculotherapy have almost 100 percent retention.
For those wishing to quit smoking, auriculotherapy offers an easy way out. The hardest part of quitting smoking is the discomfort of withdrawal. By stimulating the correct points we can trick the brain into releasing endorphins, the exact same feeling we get when we are smoking, without the nicotine to produce it. After just a few treatments, the body normalizes its production of endorphins and the withdrawal stage has passed.
If you are looking for a stress management protocol, try looking into auriculotherapy and see for yourself. Typically, you will find this treatment being offered in chiropractic offices and holistic wellness centers. The average treatment takes about 20 minutes to ½ hour.
I am bringing you this article today for two reasons: The first is as an informational piece. I feel this is a valuable tool to have in your holistic health toolbox. The second reason is to tell you that at our Path to Peace recovery retreats, we offer this service for no additional charge daily. For someone wishing to quit smoking, who plans on attending the retreat, this could be a great way to kick it off.
Our next P2P retreat is coming up quickly. This one will be held in San Jose, California, from September 19 – 22nd. After that, we will be taking to the east coast in Orlando, Florida, from October 24 – 27th. Click here for more information and registration for these retreats.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Have you ever had one of those days where you are just skipping along, happy as can be, and seemingly out of nowhere a fun-wrecker comes in and attempts to steal your joy? Are you the kind of person who has to exert some sort of power or control over others in order to feel somehow better than them or above them? Do you know a person who is constantly putting other people down so at a later point he can swoop in and raise them up to fulfill some sort of hero role? Some people will go as far as to become physically abusive to their spouses and children to maintain the illusion of power. There are many more examples of power-trippers, and please feel free to share your experiences with us in the comment section below.
Most often we think of “power-trippers” as having very low self-esteem and assume they are using the behavior as a mask for their supposed insufficiency. The truth is they are addicted to something much more destructive and insidious: dopamine.
Dopamine is the great “I am.” It is a naturally occurring neurotransmitter that, when flowing, produces a feeling of euphoria. Dopamine is our ego. To understand this better, when a cocaine addict is using, the chemical response in the brain is to release more dopamine into our system. So the person who has learned how to control that release simply by exerting control over others is just another drug addict who is under the spell of their drug of choice.
There are not too many power addicts walking through the doors of 12 step programs to get their addictions under control. Many of the people who have this affliction will take it to their grave with them. There is also very little sympathy out there for these type of people, nor should there be; however, without the help of loved ones, addicts suffering seldom have the opportunity or the encouragement to make changes in their lives. Without the understanding of what is triggering the nasty behavior of the “power-tripper,” family, friends, and loved ones eventually exit from the relationship.
Compassion is what is needed to help the person suffering with this disease. Yet without the knowledge of what is going on, most people cannot muster up the motivation to be compassionate. Ultimately, life is about our interpersonal relationships. Most of us would consciously choose not to be in relationship with a person who is constantly controlling everything and everyone around them. Yet unconsciously we find ourselves having to work or socialize with power mongers fairly often. So why is this? What could the possible benefit to the continuing evolution of mankind be?
Love.
What greater practice could there be than loving a person who is exhibiting unloving behaviors? Where we get mixed up is, what does “love” look like? Do we give in and let the person treat us badly? Is “taking one for the team” ever a productive or effective way of loving someone into wellness? No. Love is strong, love is confident, love is trusting in the way of the universe. Love knows that each individual must walk his or her own path, and that we can influence but we cannot manipulate.
There is much room to explore this topic together. Please take some time to comment down below about your experience as a power-tripper or with a control freak. Have you or someone you know recovered from this disease? How do we spot this behavior before we get in to deep?
Last month we kicked off our first in a series of Path to Peace recovery retreats. A small group of people all shared a life-changing event. If you are in recovery and not experiencing great joy and freedom or are still suffering with addictions, please consider giving yourself this opportunity to soar into grateful recovery. Our next retreat will held in San Jose, California, Sept 19 -22nd, 2013. Click here for more information.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
Change is difficult. Unwanted change can be painful and challenging. Recovery from addictions, hard or soft, is no exception. Anyone who has consciously made the effort to rid their lives of a behavior they deem destructive or no longer useful can attest to this. So why is it that when we come to the realization that we desire change it then becomes difficult to follow through?
Personally, I have chosen recently to stop drinking coffee or any other caffeinated beverages. It has been 18 days of complete abstinence for me, yet I know this territory very well. I have quit before for longer periods of time. The difference this time is, I have been seeking the support of others and remaining aware of my tendencies.
Thoughts create our urges and cravings. Sometimes the triggers are subtle, other times they are very predictable. I have just about every Starbucks in the greater Orlando area mapped out in my head. When I am driving, occasionally I will have the thought “hey, there is a Starbucks right around the corner.” This is the moment of choice. Do I react or do I create? Do I give in and damage my self-esteem or do I acknowledge my own power and move on? I have found the best way to choose the latter is to enroll others in my journey.
The frontal lobe of the brain is the cognitive center, and its function is to separate out thoughts and filter them in the way we direct. The midbrain is the impulsive, reactive center in the brain. The midbrain sends its messages 7 times faster than the cognitive brain operates. This is because the midbrain’s function is to preserve life. When we practice cognitive behavior, we are much better prepared to handle the impulsiveness of the midbrain. Increasing our awareness is a slow process that takes practice and willingness.
So how do we direct the frontal lobe to make choices that support us in where we say we want to go? This is the great challenge all of us face in life. What are the voices in my head? How many of them are there? And which ones do I listen to?
Life can be a lot like typing. We can hunt and peck our way through, hoping we create a document worth reading before we die. Or we can blindly stroke keys and end up with a mess of letters on a page that do not form any meaning at all. Or, lastly, we can train ourselves to memorize where the keys are and which fingers to use to hit the keys and really create a work of art in a much shorter period of time, allowing for greater amounts of creation during our lifetime.
The “qwerty” way of living life takes a little more upfront work in the form of practicing healthy patterns of living so that we can start to direct our life with more focus and determination. Have you noticed that the things in life you pay most attention to are the things that manifest in your reality? Positive and negative, this is how life works. God provides us with exactly what we place the majority of our intention on.
This is why it is so important to make sure you are sending out the message that you want to experience and not place your energy on what you do not wish to experience. Many of us tend to fall prey to the thinking that life is not on our side and that we are somehow at a disadvantage to others. So long as we play out that belief, it will appear true.
“The Universe is like a big Xerox machine.
It simply produces multiple copies of your thoughts”
Conversations with God, Book 1
When we decide to make a change in our life, circumstances will present in the form of “are you sure?” I have had many “are you sure” moments over the last 18 days of abstinence from caffeine. From the wonderful smell of the coffee tray coming down the aisle of the airplane I was on and mercilessly stopping right next to me for what seemed like 5 minutes. God, it smelled good! But I had support, people who knew what I had called forth in my life. And whether or not I didn’t take the coffee because I would have been embarrassed to admit I didn’t succeed or I simply chose not to, doesn’t matter. I remained resolved in my quest. One day at a time. One craving at a time. One “are you sure?” moment after the other.
The moments when a craving hits or an opportunity presents itself to relapse into past behaviors and we choose to rise above and recreate ourselves in a new way, we reinforce our new pattern. After doing this repeatedly, the new pattern becomes the norm and the “are you sure?” moments become less frequent.
So I choose to embrace these “are you sure?” moments and recognize them for what they are. They are the spiritual barbells of the universe, making us more powerful in our ability to create our lives in a more conscious way.
What are your experiences with “are you sure?” moments?
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. The next retreat will be September 19 – 22nd in San Jose, California. More information on retreats can be found here. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
On a recent trip to the west coast of the United States, I had an interesting experience. Now, for some of you who may live in California, this may not come as a surprise to you, but I believe there are plenty of people, who, like me, actually thought that medical marijuana was being prescribed by actual doctors and not a guy in a green suit and rollerblades. I know, I know, call me naive, but I thought there was truly some degree of legitimacy in the whole medical marijuana debate.
Okay, I knew, of course, there was going to be a tremendous amount of fraud accompanying the legalization. What I did not expect was that the government of California would simply turn a blind eye to it. I mean, how does code enforcement allow the “Pot Doctor” to put up a sign that says, “get your green card for $40” on his shanty right next to the water pipe store? Really? Really? In my disbelief, I did not notice what type of store was on the other side of the Pot Doc’s place. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a Doritos store!
All right, it is too easy to make jokes about this, and I can easily get off track from the point I am trying to make here. When I turn on the news and hear a story about a state considering the legalization of marijuana based on the “medical need” argument, am I to believe that they are actually considering this as a compassionate alternative for those who are ill and may benefit from the main chemical in pot, Tetrahydrocannabinol?
This is the point of this blog and I am going to keep it really short. California legalized pot on the basis of its usage being for medical purposes. If that is their stance, they should not allow it to be sold and marketed to anyone walking down the Boardwalk in Santa Monica. Now, if they legalized it for recreational use, then they should have defined what that is and how it can be marketed.
I was walking on the Boardwalk with my wife, my stepson, and his father, when we were approached by the esteemed doctor on rollerblades. He nonchalantly put his thumb and pointer finger together and brought them to his lips, “You guys need your card?” Mind you, my stepson is only 19.
After my shock of what had just happened wore off, I started to watch the Horticulture M.D. , realizing I was watching partially because the addict within me was flabbergasted that it was that easy to get pot nowadays. When I was actively using drugs, we had to be way more covert in our attempts to “score.” But I was also curious to see if he was interacting with families with smaller children, and although I cannot be sure he was, it sure looked that way to me.
I haven’t been to Colorado since they have changed the law, but you can bet that I will be sure to notice the culture the next time I am there; however, I feel it is a little different in Colorado. The people have voted and said they were in favor on a recreational basis.
I don’t have anything against legalization of pot. What I have a problem with is the amount of hypocrisy that surrounds these landmark decisions. I know this is ridiculous to suggest, but just be honest, politicians, you are in it for the money. You spent more than you took in, people are resisting you raising our taxes again, and you need to be creative. First it is gambling, now it is drugs, why don’t you just fast forward 20 or 30 years and make the sex-trade business legal now? This way, you can spend us further and further into debt oblivion. Just be honest with us, then do the job right and keep the drug-pusher — oops, I mean the “good doctor” out of my family’s face while we walk the Boardwalk and enjoy a nice sunset and some beautiful weather.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d, is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, CWG life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. Kevin will be co-presenting with JR Westen at the CWG on Recovery Path to Peace retreat in Medford, Oregon, from June 23rd – 26th. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com . To connect with Kevin, please e-mail him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
“True love and a sense of security, which we all seek, only comes from within, from that heart-centered place where our god/dess essence resides. We are all part of the Divine.”
What do you consider important in your life? Before you were slapped upside the head by your life-altering experience, did outer material things such as your job, your title, your clothes, your house, your car or similar markers of success dictate your life? Did being recognized and admired by others mean a lot to you? What about people that you encountered, including not only your family and friends but also those who came into your life at any given moment, for whatever reason? Where did they fit in your life? What about your own health and well-being? Did that have any bearing on how content you were with your life? Now that your life has probably taken a turn, are you content with the way your life is going? If not, why not?…
As I see it, if you are being guided by an open heart… if you are imbued with love for yourself and for others, everything else takes care of itself. For example, if it is your destiny to be successful in your endeavors, then it will manifest because it is in perfect alignment with what the universe wants for you. Everything is as it should be at every moment of our lives.
When you are operating from your true essence, your heart center, life takes on new meaning. No longer do outer forces run your life. You realize that your success in life isn’t about outer recognition and accoutrements you have in your life. It’s about the relationships you have, with yourself and with others. It’s about moving to that deep place within your heart from which the divine fiber of your being resonates.
This transition to heart-based consciousness begins with you feeling unsatisfied with and uninspired by those things that used to draw your full attention. They have less meaning and purpose in your life, as they no longer provide you with the validation that you need to affirm your place in the world. When your outer reality is the basis of your being, you are in a constant state of fear, fear of being alone and rejected, that you don’t “have enough,” so you become defensive and always want more. You have separated yourself from the Divine; no wonder you feel alone and abandoned. True love and a sense of security, which we all seek, only comes from within, from that heart-centered place where our god/dess essence resides. We are all part of the Divine…
If you are seeking love and security from outside yourself, feeding on outside energies, you are turning your attention away from yourself. Your self worth becomes rooted in the outer world’s judgments of your outside appearance, not your true inner being. Thus, you feel you have to “control” your actions, your behaviors, and your personality, so that you are accepted in the world.
But what if you were to surrender that control and turn inward to accept yourself – the inner self – the center of your true personal power, with all its self love, self admiration and a soul level of security, true security? When you are working from this heart-centered place of self love and self awareness, you no longer need the approval from the outside. You free yourself from all outer attachments. By no longer spending all your energy on controlling your thoughts and behavior to accommodate the opinions of others, you can create an open space from which your divine power can radiate within, then beam its immense light outwardly into the world. You feel liberated. You begin to feel at peace with yourself as you are. And when you are content with who you are, you begin to feel compassion for others, for who they are just as themselves. There is no judgment about who they “should be.” And your actions and behavior instead of being directed by the “what’s in it for me” mindset, become “they” oriented. Ultimately, we are all put on this earth to help each other. We cannot accomplish anything in this world alone…
I do hope that as you evaluate your life, you come to the conclusion that what’s really important in life is that beautiful relationship you have with yourself that will serve as a beacon of light that will brighten the path of others as they follow their own personal journey.
(This is an excerpt from Erica Tucci’s book “Radiant Survivor: How to Shine and Thrive through Recovery from Stroke, Cancer, Abuse, Addiction and Other Life-Altering Experiences” that she is publishing around Thanksgiving 2013, the time she wishes to express gratitude for being alive! For more information, visit www.facebook.com/radiantsurvivor.)
My family and I just spent a week in a big city that we had never been to before. We were there to help our 19-year-old son move from where he went to school to the city where he will be looking to start his career. Much like the drama found in reality shows, we felt the stress of having to search for a place that was available, connect with the person who was renting, get the background checks done, and move his belongings with enough time to catch our scheduled flight back to where we live, which is clear across the country.
Our trip began with a thorough cleaning of a bachelor apartment and the packing of all its contents. Once we were packed, it was time for our 7-hour drive to the destination where our son would pursue turning his passion into a profession. The one-week time frame had now dwindled down to 4 days, and we had only a few leads which we found on Craigslist. As we drove around to check out these leads, we quickly realized how precious our time was and how fast it was going by.
The odds started to appear to be stacked against us. We did not know the area at all. We had a budget we had set which was a random number we had all agreed on prior to even knowing what the market value was. We were following directions from our Smart Phone map programs and a GPS unit, all of which wanted us to take traffic-jammed freeways just to travel short distances.
As a group, our frustration began to build. We had been driving around for four hours and had only seen three properties. Taking a look at the reality of our situation, we had decided it would be wise to take two cars so we could cover more ground. Although this was not the way we had wanted our trip to go, it was not very long after this decision that it became clear things were exactly the way they were supposed to be.
I knew in my heart that we would succeed in our mission. This was never really in question for me. What I failed to keep in my mind was the bigger picture that is always present. Think small and you will surely experience little results. The bigger picture always includes engaging all people on a deeper level than “what can I get from you.” True happiness seems to always come from a place of mutual energy exchange.
We had not kept in our awareness that all of our human tasks, no matter how big or how minor, revolve around one very important thing: our relationships with others. Our relationships with all people are the single-most important aspect of the contextual field we are here to experience. When we bring the energy of Oneness to each and every interaction with others, the heavens rejoice and the treasure chests are opened.
Here is what we began to do that changed everything: We made a decision to not go it alone. We began to engage strangers in our plight. As we were driving around, we saw “for rent” signs and would call them. If the person did not have a property that was suitable to us for one reason or another, we ended the phone call by asking a uniting question: Do you know of any apartments or people we could contact that may have something for us to consider?
This simple question seemed to bring out the best in everyone we posed it to. Every single person took the conversation to the next level. We had simple suggestions like “try this part of town” or “stay away from this particular area.” A few said, “I do not, but here is the number of someone who might.”
We had one person whose name was Harold go way above and beyond by not only giving us three great leads right away, but also called us back the next morning and gave us two more!
Not one of those we engaged on our journey did we meet face to face, nor did we have any prior relationship with them. They had no financial reason to help us, as they were also landlords looking to rent their own properties. So why did they do so? Why did they take time out of their busy schedules to help us, someone they didn’t know and would likely never meet?
I think I know why. I believe that we all want to help others and have an internal and eternal desire to be of service to Humanity. I feel they were as empowered and enriched by helping us as we were by their generosity. I know, in the core of my being, that we all want to give freely our gift, and we are just waiting for the invitation to do so. Great joy always seems to involve doing something for another without the thought of what is in this for me.
So how does this article end up in the Addiction in Recovery column?
Recovery only works when we engage those who have gone before us and ask them to share their experience, strength, and hope with us. The founders of the Twelve Step method knew right away recovery could not take place without the support of those who could relate to the plight of the addicted.
Addiction is a solitary disease. Many start off using in a social setting in order to fit in. At first, the disease seems to be the cure for all of our ills. We become social and outgoing. Ironically and slowly, the disease progresses and takes all of that away again. We become lonely, isolated, and avoided. Sick, tired, and dying, we are faced with the decision: Do I continue to use and kill myself slowly? Or do I reach out for help and give someone the opportunity to experience their purpose, helping others?
Would you like to be part of a group of recovering people who share a similar belief system? Join us for the CwG on Recovery Path to Peace retreat in Medford Oregon June 23 – June 26.
Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin.Spiritualmentor@gmail.com or call 407-808-6431.
(This week’s Addiction Column is hosting an article submitted by Cathy Taughinbaugh, Founder of “Treatment Talk.”)
I am the parent of a former addict.
When my daughter was 19, I realized she was addicted to crystal meth. It was late spring and she should have been finishing her sophomore year at college, but instead, because of her addiction, she was no longer attending classes. She had taken a job washing dogs and she had just been fired.
Through the years, I’ve asked myself why I didn’t know that my daughter was using drugs. As it turns out, she had been using on and off for the past four years, including her last two years of high school.
I found crystal meth in her backpack in the fall of her senior year. We had it identified, so we knew for sure what the drug was. Her father and I sat her down and listened carefully as she explained through her tears that she was holding it for her friends and that she did not use the drug. She said she would never do it again.
I honestly believe that she didn’t use again. For awhile.
As parents, we were shocked, frightened, and angry that she had made this choice to use drugs. We were filled with shame, and clearly in denial. We were naive to think that our little talk would make any difference in my daughter’s future choices.
She was grounded for a few weeks. She did attend a therapy appointment, but that didn’t go well, so we discontinued it. I try to stop myself, but I do occasionally think back on what we didn’t do: We didn’t drug test her. We didn’t send her to a drug education program. We didn’t change her environment. We did not regularly check her backpack and room, because if I’m brutally honest, I was too scared of what I would find.
There were a few minor infractions after that incident, but she kept her curfew, was accepted to college, and seemed to be functioning as a normal teenager.
I know now why I was in denial during that time. It is difficult to face a problem when you don’t have the answers. Drug use was new territory for me. I had never had any family member addicted and didn’t have a clue about crystal meth. Although I know now that I didn’t cause it, at the time, I didn’t want to face my role in my daughter’s addiction.
So like many parents, I continued on in my comfort zone. I wanted to continue the close relationship with my daughter and was not sure how to do that and be the drug warden at the same time.
But when she was almost 20 years old, her drug use became clear and that’s when I jumped into action. I called a few close friends that I thought could give me some guidance and help.
We found an educational consultant who put us on a path to healing. She agreed to treatment, and within one week she was on a plane to Utah to attend a Wilderness program for five weeks and then on to Southern California where she was in treatment for another three months. Finally, she lived in a sober home for six months.
Her program included getting a job and/or attending college. She did both and graduated from a local state university. A part-time job in a grocery store helped pay expenses while going back to school.
Today, I am a grateful parent. My daughter has continued in long-term recovery and is doing well. We both realized, first and foremost, that we needed to face our reality, change and grow.
Having an addicted child is not what any mom dreams for her child. This was the last thing I expected. The emotional exhaustion sends you down a devastating path. It is a journey to find your way back. The financial costs took my breath away.
For any family thrown into the midst of their child’s addiction, you feel the full range of emotions throughout the experience. From anxiety, to anger, frustration, sadness and grief, the emotions can consume you if you let them. You have to say goodbye to the child that once was and accept this new person whose life has become chaotic and unmanageable.
The control of your life that you once had is now gone. You know inside that you’ve also lost the power to make a difference in your child’s life while they are in the midst of their addiction.
Just like any addicted person, finding a spiritual side to my life and seeking the support of others is what saved me. It gave me the courage to ask for help, the strength to walk into that first Al-Anon meeting and the understanding that there was hope for my family.
Self care and support was essential for me. Addiction is draining on everyone but particularly those closest to the addict. As they say in the airlines, put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others. This is exactly what you need to do when you are dealing with your child’s drug or alcohol dependence. Work on healing yourself first before you try and heal your child.
My daughter has moved on with her life and doesn’t discuss her addiction often. She knows, however, that life can be hard due to poor choices and the disease of addiction. She also knows that there is always hope.
We both realized that our lives could change when we were ready to dig deep, overcome our fear and take on the challenge to begin again.
(Cathy Taughinbaugh is a Parent Recovery and Life Coach and Founder of Treatment Talk, a website dedicated to sharing and support for addiction, recovery and treatment. Cathy is committed to educating parents, young adults and teens about the dangers of substance abuse.)
