You can tell if you are addicted to a behavior or an outcome when the absence of it causes you to abandon your happiness. \u00a0This is the \u00a0definition of addiction from the book “When Everything Changes, Change Everything. ” The word \u201cabandon\u201d indicates that we are aware on some level that we have placed our happiness on something external to ourselves.\u00a0 This definition becomes evident when we consider a popular television show in the United States called \u201cHoarding, Buried Alive.\u201d<\/p>\n
If you have not seen this show or even heard of this thing called hoarding, it is quite shocking to see what types of distorted reality some people are operating out of.\u00a0 In one of the most disturbing hoarding cases, a man had gone to his mother\u2019s house because she\u00a0hadn’t\u00a0been seen in a few weeks. \u00a0He\u00a0couldn’t\u00a0get into the house and then he noticed a strong smell coming from what seemed like the basement. \u201cI thought, there’s no happy ending here,” he said. “I just had a feeling. I had a bad feeling for years…It’s a terrible thing to deal with.”\u00a0 Three days later, the police found his mother\u2019s body under a pile of trash.<\/p>\n
Watching the people on this show, as well as knowing some personally, the hoarder is so attached to the items they possess that those items end up possessing them!\u00a0 The idea that happiness comes from within has been so deeply forgotten that they desperately search for the thing that will bring them happiness, only to become buried under the weight of attachments. \u00a0So where does it start?\u00a0 How does one get so distorted that they have become\u00a0accustomed to\u00a0living in squalor, with dead animals, feces, and\u00a0mountains\u00a0of garbage, clothes, and material\u00a0possessions\u00a0in some cases from floor to ceiling in their dwellings?<\/p>\n
One theory is that a trauma has occurred in the affected person\u2019s life that has created the belief that their life depends on these items being in their possession. \u00a0The trauma was such that denial of their true nature was too painful for their ego to handle.\u00a0 Childhood traumas can be neglect, they can be physical abuse, including sexual abuse, or they can simply be from growing up in a house where emotions are not shown.\u00a0 These are just a few of the abuses many in society heap upon children.\u00a0 These traumas will manifest themselves differently in adults, and even more so if the individual does not have a strong sense of resiliency.<\/p>\n
From the outside looking in, the obsession with materialistic possessions confounds most people because they look solely at the despicable conditions and wonder how anyone can tolerate that.\u00a0 What is clear from the addictions and compulsions specialist’s point of view is that through a predictable path of events in the hoarder\u2019s life, they suffer from a disease, and a lack of ease is exactly what it is.\u00a0 They cannot easily ascertain their own ability to survive and find pleasure outside of the parameters they have set for themselves; \u00a0that is, they feel they must keep on collecting items and never give them up. \u00a0To give them up, they perceive they would be letting go of their comfort, happiness, and even possibly their survival.<\/p>\n
Can this type of behavior be changed?\u00a0 Is there a chance for a recovery for the hoarder?\u00a0 Of course there is a chance; it is rare, however, due to the reclusive nature of the disorder.\u00a0 The statement \u201cWith him, all things are possible\u201d comes to mind here.\u00a0 The more difficult question is, however, how does the afflicted get to the space where they can even entertain seeking a spiritual resolution to their disease?<\/p>\n
How can we as a loving, caring community support these people and help them to find themselves once again and lead a productive, happy life?<\/p>\n