At some point in our lives, most can agree in conversation that nothing happens by accident, that there is a purpose for everything in life.\u00a0 When trauma strikes the person who has not yet developed or has not been taught helpful coping skills, addiction can take over their personality.\u00a0 Anything that alters this person\u2019s mood, feelings, emotions is subject to abuse.\u00a0 Each person finds what works best for them; and once they do, any hope of developing the proper coping mechanism is lost.<\/p>\n
People with an addictive personality will stop at nothing to achieve and maintain the high that keeps them from experiencing life in its natural state.\u00a0 This is where the root of addiction lives, the refusal to accept life on life\u2019s terms, arguing with what is so, fighting to be right, crashing into the brick wall over and over again.\u00a0 Sometimes there is a brief moment where there appears to be surrender.\u00a0 The addict appears broken, ready, and willing to give up.\u00a0 They seem willing to face the fact that the high that once kept them from having to feel is no longer working.\u00a0 Then a little time goes by, the apologies come, the endless talk of \u201cI will never do _______ again\u201d starts, \u00a0everyone thinks things are \u201clooking up,\u201d and then WHAM, they find themselves getting high again.<\/p>\n
This can be very frustrating for the loved ones in the addict\u2019s life.\u00a0 They cannot understand what happened, \u201cYou said you weren\u2019t going to drink anymore, you stopped for a whole week and talked about how committed you were.\u00a0 What happened? Why???\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The co-dependent’s\u00a0hopes and expectations get crushed over and over again by the disease of addiction. \u00a0Now they begin to be at odds with life themselves.\u00a0 The whole family is under the control of addiction; life has become completely reactionary for everyone involved.<\/p>\n
What the family and friends are not aware of is that inside the addictive person\u2019s brain is the obsession to use.\u00a0 The addict is thinking about getting high all the time, even when they have \u201cquit.\u201d\u00a0 This thinking can come in the form of glamorizing their past usage, things that may have been exciting, dangerous, or peaceful. \u00a0We tell \u201cwar stories\u201d of our using, many times embellishing the fun while rarely speaking of the pain or destruction that has resulted.\u00a0 It is this obsession to use that must be dealt with, and that is what recovery is all about.<\/p>\n
The process of recovery must first start with the cessation of all mood- and mind-altering chemicals. This is why many treatment facilities recommend a 28-day in-patient treatment program.\u00a0 The time away, in a safe environment, allows for many opportunities to dig into the root of the problem.\u00a0 Even in a person with the most sincere desire to stop using, doing so on their own is virtually impossible.\u00a0 The disease voice in our head is so much louder than the voice of reason, unless we have a program in place to counter it.<\/p>\n
Being housed with other addicts in early recovery gives us the opportunity to face the reality that life truly had become unmanageable.\u00a0 We can easily see where our abuse has brought us.\u00a0 Most, if not all, people hit recovery facing financial ruin, relationship loss, unemployment, or possibly severe legal issues.\u00a0 It is rare, indeed, for the person who has none of the above issues to find themselves in treatment.\u00a0 This is why it is so important for friends and family to allow alcoholic or drug addict to suffer the consequences of their using.\u00a0 How is a person ever going to \u201chit bottom\u201d when there is always a safety net in place for them when they fall?<\/p>\n
The process of recovery for the co-dependent must start with the refusal to accept further abuse. \u00a0This is delivered in a beautifully clear way in Conversations with God<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cAs a practical matter\u2014again leaving esoterics aside\u2014if you look to what is best for you in these situations where you are being abused, at the very least what you will do is stop the abuse. \u00a0And that will be good for both you and your abuser, for even an abuser is abused when his abuse is allowed to continue.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n We are not so different in the end, the addict and the co-dependent. \u00a0We are each\u00a0disempowering\u00a0the other from experiencing our life to the fullest.\u00a0 We must all have faith that by doing right for our self, we are then doing what is best for everyone.\u00a0 We can no longer afford to keep up the\u00a0facade\u00a0that everything is fine. We must expose the darkness so that the light can shine though.<\/p>\n This is part 1 in a series on co-dependency and recovery.\u00a0 Next week we will look\u00a0 into why it is our fault<\/em> and what we can do about it. \u00a0Stay tuned!<\/p>\n (Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on\u00a0www.changingchange.net<\/span><\/a><\/span>, Addictions recovery advisor.\u00a0 To connect with Kevin please email him at\u00a0Kevin@theglobalconversation.com<\/span><\/a><\/span>)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" At some point in our lives, most can agree in conversation that nothing happens by accident, that there is a purpose for everything in life.\u00a0 When trauma strikes the person who has not yet developed or has not been taught helpful coping skills, addiction can take over their personality.\u00a0 Anything that alters this person\u2019s mood, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[159],"tags":[196,612,611,195,613],"class_list":["post-2689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction-and-recovery","tag-aa","tag-al-anon","tag-co-dependency","tag-kevin-mccormack","tag-nar-anon"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2689","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2689"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2689\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2705,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2689\/revisions\/2705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}