{"id":3520,"date":"2013-01-05T15:16:43","date_gmt":"2013-01-05T20:16:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=3520"},"modified":"2013-01-06T08:25:28","modified_gmt":"2013-01-06T13:25:28","slug":"how-to-stop-flapping-in-the-wind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=3520","title":{"rendered":"How to stop flapping in the wind"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you ever feel like parenting in the New Spirituality is a little bit like flapping in the wind? \u00a0I mean, in Conversations with God<\/em>, God threw out all the rules and told us how we can truly live! \u00a0The new constructs can read more like feel-good, motivational phrases than concepts:<\/p>\n

We are all one!<\/p>\n

God talks to everyone, all the time!<\/p>\n

There’s no such thing as right and wrong!<\/p>\n

There’s nothing you have to!<\/p>\n

It would be understandable if you sometimes felt a little lost and without direction in your parenting.\u00a0 Within these concepts, if you are ready to receive it, is a wealth of loving guidance on how to parent your children.\u00a0\u00a0 Simply start with an open heart and a willingness to connect with God, and the knowledge will follow.\u00a0 That might even be how you came to this online newspaper, yes? \u00a0God, the Universe, Life, The All, whatever name you give to your experience of that thing that defines That Which Is<\/em>, facilitates everything you need. \u00a0May I suggest a starting place, a custom from which you may wish to consider all of your parenting decisions? \u00a0\u00a0Consistency.<\/em><\/p>\n

Consistency is a useful habit to adopt in all of your life. \u00a0One of the Core Concepts of CwG says, \u201cThe Three Basic Principles of Life are Functionality, Adaptability, and Sustainability.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0To simplify, the idea is that you assess your actions to see if they are “working” as a demonstration of who you envision yourself to be (functionality). \u00a0If not, you adjust your actions to make them “work” (adaptability). \u00a0Then you maintain your new course for as long as it continues to “work” for you (sustainability); always with an eye toward reassessing functionality — and starting the process over again and again. \u00a0Even within this concept there is a beautiful consistency: \u00a0By acknowledging that we can change our minds about something, and that we are constantly evolving, we have the ability to take action because of it<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Consistency in your parenting is hard to pin down. It can be as simple as choosing which words you will use or forgo in your household \u2013 good, bad, nice, love, hate, etc. — and sticking to it. \u00a0It can involve your child’s behaviors.\u00a0 Do you expect certain behaviors in some situations and other behaviors in other situations without explanation? \u00a0Does your child even know what to expect from you? It can involve the types of foods you bring in to your family and how you present them. \u00a0Are foods treated differently at times? \u00a0Are they sometimes readily available, sometimes special treats, sometimes rewards, and other times off-limits? \u00a0How about interactions with others? Do your children see you speak one way to <\/em>another person and a different way about <\/em>the same person when he or she isn’t in the room?<\/p>\n

Children get confused by mixed messages,<\/em> but they are not necessarily confused by change<\/em>; these are two different things. \u00a0A mixed message is when your current actions and words do not agree; while change occurs when your prior and current\/future actions are not the same. \u00a0You can explain change in a way which would make sense to a child: “XYZ happened, so we changed course.” \u00a0But it is harder to explain a mixed message: \u00a0“I know I said let’s be nice to people, but I know you saw me be mean to another person.”<\/p>\n

Children can even handle different expectations or requests based on different situations if they are explained ahead of time. \u00a0For instance, most children quickly understand the concept of inside versus outside voices and would not use the same voice, routinely, in a restaurant that they do on the playground. \u00a0So they begin to understand that there is some internal consistency to a type of situation and that there can be varied consistency across different types of situations. \u00a0They can even begin to interpret those situations for themselves through your guidance and example.<\/p>\n

One of your most important roles as a parent, if there is any to be had, is to help your child feel that their world is stable, that they can know what to expect and that their parent(s) are there for them. Consistency can be crucial, then, for children to be able to trust your words and actions so that they will know that you are truly there for them to buffer and help them interpret the world. \u00a0Then your children will not feel like they are flapping in the wind<\/em>.<\/p>\n

(Emily A. Filmore is the Creative Co-Director of\u00a0<\/em>www.cwgforparents.com<\/em><\/a>. She is also the author\/illustrator of the \u201cWith My Child\u201d Series of books about bonding with your child through everyday activities.\u00a0 Her books are available at\u00a0<\/em>www.withmychildseries.com<\/em><\/a>. To contact Emily, please email her at\u00a0<\/em>Emily@cwgforparents.com<\/em><\/a>.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you ever feel like parenting in the New Spirituality is a little bit like flapping in the wind? \u00a0I mean, in Conversations with God, God threw out all the rules and told us how we can truly live! \u00a0The new constructs can read more like feel-good, motivational phrases than concepts: We are all one! […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[813,4,497,193,461,814,165],"class_list":["post-3520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting","tag-consistent-parenting","tag-conversations-with-god","tag-emily-a-filmore","tag-new-spirituality","tag-parenting-2","tag-spiritual-parenting","tag-spirituality"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3520"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3520\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3524,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3520\/revisions\/3524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}