It was recently brought to my attention that my driver\u2019s license had expired and that I had been driving around town \u201cillegally\u201d for over two weeks. \u00a0This troubled me, of course, because I immediately thought for sure Murphy\u2019s Law would pay me a visit and I would, for the first time in years and years, now ironically get stopped by the police for a moving violation or a broken taillight or, worse yet, maybe find myself involved in an automobile accident, my expired license only adding to my misfortune. \u00a0Yes, I was frantically writing my own best-selling \u201cwhat if\u201d story.<\/p>\n
But my mind was also busy imagining a situation that perhaps, at least more immediately, was even worse than that<\/em> — the dreaded thought of having to make an early Monday morning visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my lapsed license. \u00a0Oh, just the thought of waiting in those long lines, only to be served by overly tired, underpaid, and under-appreciated government employees who spend long dreary days in a gray office with no windows, determined to suck all of us into their miserable lair. \u00a0Thought by thought, I was erecting giant walls of resistance around me.<\/p>\n So I came up with a plan. \u00a0I would be the very first one in line! \u00a0That way I will avoid those long painful lines and maybe find myself fortunate enough to be served by someone at the DMV who hadn\u2019t yet been worn down and numbed by a full day of monotony. \u00a0Yes! \u00a0That is what decided to do. \u00a0So I smugly arrived at the DMV at 7:45 a.m., knowing they opened at 8:30 a.m., and feeling confident that I would be the first to arrive.<\/p>\n Except I wasn\u2019t. \u00a0I was not the first person in line. \u00a0I was the second person in line.<\/p>\n And this is when I met Bob.<\/p>\n Bob is an 82-year-old gentleman who, like me, came to the DMV office to renew his driver\u2019s license. \u00a0But it did not take long for me to experience the \u201creal\u201d reason Bob was there.<\/p>\n Bob was there for me.<\/p>\n This soft-spoken, kind man, with a smile that extended into his eyes, thought<\/em> that the driver\u2019s license office opened at 8:00, only to discover that he now had 45 minutes to wait outside on the unforgiving hard sidewalk, with nowhere to sit, nowhere to rest his frail legs. \u00a0 But what he did have is someone to talk to, to share his life with, to laugh with, to be present with, someone who understood the much, much larger reason for his \u201cmistake\u201d in thinking the DMV opened at 8:00 and someone who also now understood the underlying purpose in my premeditated \u201cplan\u201d to beat the crowd.<\/p>\n I was there for Bob.<\/p>\n In those precious 45 minutes, I learned from Bob that he said goodbye to his life-long companion just six short months ago. \u00a0And he misses her dearly. \u00a0I could feel his sadness and deep love for her. \u00a0I knew that Bob was experiencing her presence just by having someone to share her memory with, that her essence was alive and very real in our interaction with each other, and I was honored and profoundly touched to be chosen as a surrogate with whom Bob could once again experience her love and grace.<\/p>\n I learned from Bob that he wobbles when he walks sometimes. \u00a0But he says he does not think of or label this as “stumbling” or “wobbling.” \u00a0Bob says he is dancing. \u00a0 And in our short time together, Bob danced a lot. \u00a0I wonder if in some of these seemingly unsteady moments his soul is engaging in a breathtaking waltz with his beautiful wife?<\/p>\n I learned from Bob that even though he is no longer able to travel around the country in his motor home as he once did with his Beloved Other, there is a wonderful channel on his Dish network that shows beautiful scenery from around the world — majestic mountains, tranquil beaches, and colorful fields of flowers. \u00a0And if you get up really early in the morning, at 4:00 a.m., as he does, you can watch that program and “feel like you are right there<\/em>. ” And \u201cif you are a believer,\u201d as Bob offered to me, \u201cthey even scroll some scripture across the bottom,\u201d to which he gently and thoughtfully added, \u201cif you want that.\u201d<\/p>\n I learned from Bob that even though his life partner has continued on in her soul\u2019s journey, he still greets each new dawn with purpose and appreciation. \u00a0While he oftentimes yearns for the physical presence of his wife, he understands that he still has soul work to do and a life to live and experience \u2013 and he has decided to show up in his own life with humor, kindness, and intention.<\/p>\n There was a point in my life, not too very long ago, when I would have missed entirely the enormous gift being presented within this relationship and within this experience. \u00a0There may have even been a time where I would have avoided this wonderful elderly gentleman altogether by inconspicuously burying my face in my phone or casually dismissing him with a polite smile. \u00a0 Boy, am I thankful I am not living in that<\/em> space anymore.<\/p>\n My encounter with Bob is a reminder that what I think is going on isn\u2019t always what is going on<\/em>. \u00a0My well-laid plan to beat the crowd at the DMV and to make sure that I avoided an uncomfortable personal experience had nothing to do with what I originally imagined. \u00a0Bob and I had a soul agreement long before<\/em> our bodies arrived at that particular location at that particular time and in that particular way.<\/p>\n How would our lives change if we viewed every person with whom we interacted as an intentional and purposeful gift? \u00a0Have our souls chosen the people who are in our lives and those that are held within our next choice? \u00a0Or are we just randomly bumping into each other? \u00a0It is easy to view our own biological families and chosen partners and our children and friends as gifts. \u00a0But what about the passers-by? \u00a0What about the person next to you in line at the grocery store? \u00a0What about the \u201coverly tired, underpaid, and under-appreciated government employees who spend long dreary days in a gray office with no windows\u201d?<\/p>\n We sometimes realize after-the-fact that something big, something of importance, something Divine has just taken place. \u00a0But when we come to this same realization \u201cin the moment\u201d we are actually experiencing it, we can see the opportunity we are being given to remember a little bit more about who we are and why we are here, and we become powerful creators and flow-throughs of God\u2019s love.<\/p>\n At 8:30 on the nose, the doors to the DMV opened and I followed Bob into the building. \u00a0We parted ways to go to our respective service windows, immense feelings of gratitude welling up inside me. \u00a0When I arrived to meet the person who would be assisting me that morning, the person to whom I had projected unfavorable predictions upon, the individual whose mere existence I was a short while ago resisting, I was warmly greeted with a radiant smile and a cheery, \u201cGood morning! \u00a0How may I help you today?\u201d \u2013 and I immediately knew another opportunity was presenting itself to me.<\/p>\n