{"id":3770,"date":"2013-01-24T05:56:19","date_gmt":"2013-01-24T10:56:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=3770"},"modified":"2013-01-24T05:56:19","modified_gmt":"2013-01-24T10:56:19","slug":"friends-dont-let-friends-love-drunk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=3770","title":{"rendered":"Friends Don’t Let Friends Love Drunk"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI can\u2019t stop thinking about him. He\u2019s just so\u2026.dreamy. His eyes, his hair, his smile, all completely flawless. And his personality\u2026I never thought people could be as amazing as he is. He\u2019s so funny, and so clever. He has<\/em> to be the nicest person I\u2019ve ever met and probably will ever meet. He\u2019s perfect in every possible way. If only I could go out with him\u2026then my life would be totally complete.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

If this has ever represented YOUR thought pattern, then you\u2019re definitely not alone. I cannot even begin to count the number of friends, movies, and songs I have heard sending the EXACT the same message. Whether it be from Taylor Swift or Radiohead, fixating on the impeccable guy or the incomparable girl is certainly not a foreign concept to teenagers. When we seem to find this supposed \u2018perfect guy\u2019 or \u2018perfect girl\u2019, all we seem to be able to do is think of just how perfect they are. Every waking moment becomes filled with thoughts of them. Or is it? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Many people who feel these thoughts and anxieties simply call them the side effects of being Love Drunk or Love Sick. As fixation is the most common symptom, we wonder whether we spend more time thinking of <\/em>the person or about <\/em>the person. Is there a difference, and if there is, does it mean anything at all? <\/span><\/p>\n

After some deep introspection, we realize that we more often seem to fall in love with the concepts<\/em> of people rather than with people themselves. When our minds are filled with the thoughts of the other person, we are thinking more of how they seem to \u2018complete our lives\u2019. When thinking only<\/em> about the concept of a person, love turns into an addiction \u2013 one not powered by love, but by obsession. We are obsessing over what we think we don\u2019t have, and how we think that this other incredible person will bring it into our lives. The obsessive part of both crushes and intimate relationships both arise from the same basic concept: He\/She is perfect, I\u2019m not perfect, He\/She will make my life perfect. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever we think \u201cYou complete my life\u201d or even \u201cI can\u2019t live without her\/him\u201d, we know it is hardly the truth. Chances are, you\u2019ve been living a pretty full 13, 15, or 18 years of your life already. But before we even look out into the world, we must first have a very, very solid foundation in our inner world. The majority of the \u201clove drunk\u201d relationships we enter are based more on our personal deficiencies, rather than our desire to share our highest experience and understanding of Who We Are. In order to have a relationship that is truly the dual expression of love, we must sober up our own sense of self. <\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of placing the title and expectation of \u2018perfection\u2019 on another, we can be our own source of personal fulfillment. Though we seem to neglect this fact, we know that there is not anything we lack in our lives<\/em>. \u00a0Let me repeat that, there is not anything we lack in our lives<\/em>. We only believe in this lack because we see ourselves as separate from it. Whether it be generosity, kindness, or compassion, know that you can manifest it in your own life without any outside help to do it for you. By knowing that you are a source of love, a source of joy, a source of compassion, you become your own fulfillment of your emotional desires. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you develop these desired attributes within yourself, you don\u2019t need to find them in others. By NOT setting that expectation on your (both imagined and actual) significant other, you can see who They Really Are. Enjoying them for Who They Are, rather than for What They Will Add To Your Life, is what makes a real<\/em> relationship. So instead of being Love Drunk or Love Sick, let go of the obsession and let yourself enjoy their presence. Trust me, it\u2019s far more fulfilling. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at <\/em>Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/a><\/span>)<\/span> <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI can\u2019t stop thinking about him. He\u2019s just so\u2026.dreamy. His eyes, his hair, his smile, all completely flawless. And his personality\u2026I never thought people could be as amazing as he is. He\u2019s so funny, and so clever. He has to be the nicest person I\u2019ve ever met and probably will ever meet. He\u2019s perfect in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160],"tags":[251,191,245],"class_list":["post-3770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-younger-generation-take-on-things","tag-lauren-rourk","tag-love","tag-teen-spirituality"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3770","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3770"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3770\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3771,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3770\/revisions\/3771"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3770"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3770"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3770"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}