I am a 28-year-old Indian woman. \u00a0I am quite attractive and a very loving person but have never been in a romantic relationship. \u00a0For some reason, the people whom I have fallen for have never reciprocated my love. \u00a0In India, marriages may also be arranged by your friends or family. \u00a0I really want to have love in my life, but I want it to come naturally. I do not want to look for a partner or go for an arranged marriage. I am really confused as to whether I should make a conscious effort, like joining a matrimonial site, or do I wait for love to come by?\u00a0 I really can\u2019t imagine getting married to a person whom I do not love…please guide.<\/i><\/p>\n
Pilar, India<\/i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
Hi Pilar,<\/p>\n
First of all, thank you for reaching out, for listening to the voice of your soul and being brave enough to ask if there is another way to find love that is more in alignment with who you really are, as well as how to find it.\u00a0 The answer to your question of whether or not to go actively searching for it or wait for love to come by is\u2026neither.\u00a0 Instead, here are two other approaches that I\u2019m going to offer you today, Pilar:<\/p>\n
One of the greatest messages from Conversations with God is that if there is something you\u2019d like to experience in life, the quickest way to do so is to give it away, give it to another.\u00a0 The very act of doing so is a statement to the Universe that it is yours to give, and in the actual giving of it, you are indeed experiencing that thing you said you wanted to experience.\u00a0 For example, for someone who wants to experience being rich, sharing what little they do have with someone who has even less can produce a tremendous experience of being rich.\u00a0 Now, in the situation of intimate love, this can be kind of challenging.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t necessarily mean going around telling everyone you see that you\u2019re in love with them (unless, of course, that serves you).\u00a0 Instead, it means fully expressing all kinds of love \u2013 to your family, your friends, your pets, your fellow humans walking their own path.\u00a0 It also means giving yourself the experience of being in love with you.\u00a0 Treat yourself with the same love, appreciation, respect, kindness and tenderness that you would your significant other.\u00a0 Take the time to express that love to yourself, through loving thoughts, words, and deeds.\u00a0 You see, what happens when you do this is that your focus is shifted towards love itself, versus the perceived lack of it in your life<\/i>, and via the process of creation, you can\u2019t help but call forth more of it into your life.<\/p>\n
The second approach is an approach that I would offer, no matter what the external challenge or problem, is to first of all stop worrying about how to make it happen (in other words, get out of the energy of the problem, as no solution is ever available in the same energy the problem exists in), and to go within and focus on your own alignment.\u00a0 Neale calls this your \u201csoul\u2019s agenda\u201d and offers the powerful question, \u201cWhat does this thing (problem, choice, situation, etc.) have to do with my soul\u2019s agenda?\u201d\u00a0 When you are living from your soul\u2019s agenda, or living from a place of alignment, everything else quite literally comes together.\u00a0 It works itself out.\u00a0 In other words, love finds you, you don\u2019t have to find it.\u00a0 By the consistent attention to and raising of your own vibration, you open the door to allowing all of the things you desire in life to come through, and, in the process, you get to experience all of those feelings you thought you could experience only in the having of something external to you.\u00a0 You get to experience them right here, right now.\u00a0 It\u2019s incredible.<\/p>\n
So what does that look like, this alignment thing, or how do you tune into your soul\u2019s agenda?\u00a0 By focusing your attention inward, through meditation, journaling, practicing daily gratitude, whatever you resonate with that allows you to connect to that source within.\u00a0 But here\u2019s the key: \u00a0do so consistently.\u00a0 Sometimes even the simple posing of the powerful question \u201cwhat does this have to do with my soul\u2019s agenda?\u201d or even \u201cwhat would my soul do here?\u201d, without consciously trying to answer it, is enough to shift your attention, and the answer appears right exactly when it needs to.<\/p>\n
Try the above approaches, Pilar, and much love to you in the process.<\/p>\n