There I was, walking away from my family and towards the detox ward of the hospital. Overwhelming fear, coupled with a hangover and sense of humiliation, weighing on my thoughts and my body.\u00a0 So many questions running through my head: What is this going to be like?\u00a0 What are they going to do to me?\u00a0 How can I get out of this?\u00a0 Where would I go?\u00a0 What have I gotten myself into?\u00a0 I was walking into the complete unknown, and I was afraid.<\/p>\n
I remember very clearly the first thing that took place.\u00a0 I was greeted by the doctor who ran the detox.\u00a0 His name was Dr. D\u2019 Amico.\u00a0 He explained that I would be wearing the typical hospital gown; you know the one that is open in the back and ties around your waste.\u00a0 He gave his reason for this: \u201cYou are sick.\u00a0 You are suffering from a disease; therefore, you will be treated as any other person who is sick.\u201d\u00a0 This was my first real introduction to addiction as a disease.<\/p>\n
After changing into the hospital gown, the nurse took all of \u00a0my possessions, shoes and socks, clothing, and cigarettes.\u00a0 There was no smoking in the hospital detox.\u00a0 I was led to my room, basically an open area where there were two beds sectioned off from the rest of the hospital by only a curtain.\u00a0 The curtain remained open all the time.<\/p>\n
I was tired and worn down.\u00a0 Looking back, I felt relief to be out of the cycle of addiction and the pace of the life I had created.\u00a0 A nurse came to my bed, bringing medication. \u00a0And I was told that because alcohol was one of the drugs I was withdrawing from, I had to take anti-seizure medicine.\u00a0 Alcohol withdrawal is the most dangerous drug to withdraw from.<\/p>\n
My second day in detox was more challenging.\u00a0 I was already feeling much better after a good night\u2019s sleep and nutritious meals.\u00a0 Feeling better sounds like a good thing, but for a person who is addicted, feeling good and healthy typically means that it is okay to start using again.\u00a0 And that is exactly what I was thinking: \u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t need this. \u00a0I can do it myself.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember saying that, but I would not be surprised if I did, as I know I was thinking it!<\/p>\n
My addictive behavior did not end in the detox.\u00a0 After the second day, when the nurse would deliver the anti-seizure medicine, I would store it under my tongue until she left the room.\u00a0 I would quickly remove it and hide it under my pillow for future use.\u00a0 I was saving it up so I could take more than one and hopefully get high.\u00a0 Looking back on this behavior reminds me that I was not just a \u201cnormal\u201d kid who liked to party a little too much.<\/p>\n
It was pre-arranged that I would go directly from detox to a 28-day inpatient treatment facility.\u00a0 This is a very common procedure, because by the seventh day of detox, I was feeling on top of the world physically and mentally. \u00a0I was very resistant to going to a rehabilitation center.\u00a0 <\/b>(Most of the people who do not go directly to rehab relapse and begin using again shortly after their release from the hospital.)\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>After a brief intervention with my parents and the doctor, I agreed to proceed as planned.<\/p>\n
It is my hope that in the telling of my personal story here someone reading this will have a greater understanding of how to navigate early recovery either for them or for a loved one.\u00a0 Alcoholics and drug addicts will convince themselves and everyone else that they just need to break the cycle of using and they will be fine.\u00a0 I am here to tell you it just isn\u2019t so.\u00a0\u00a0Abstinence is not recovery!\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>And except for extremely rare cases, abstinence does not maintain.\u00a0 For those who do simply abstain from using their drugs of choice without employing some form of self-improvement program, long-term recovery is much less likely to happen.\u00a0 It is the addictive behavior that must be addressed.\u00a0 The drugs are simply the symptom of a far greater issue.\u00a0 I was not plotting my next binge when I was saving up the medication for \u201cone last high\u201d;\u00a0 I was exhibiting the behavior of an addict.<\/p>\n
Addictive personalities do not simply go away with time.\u00a0 It is debatable whether or not they ever go away.\u00a0 From my personal experience in recovery, irrational thinking, obsessions, desire for instant gratification do not disappear from the recovering addict\u2019s life.\u00a0 What does go away is the obsession to use drugs and alcohol.\u00a0 It does dissolve immediately.\u00a0 For some, it can take years.\u00a0 But the transformation does take place.<\/p>\n
The motto of the recovery community is \u201cOne day at a time.\u201d\u00a0 Indeed, this is the basis for most programs that deal with addictions. \u00a0And what a wonderful way to live life it is.\u00a0 When we seek to keep things simple and we stop projecting our thoughts into the future or wishing the past was different, we remember that all we have is the breath we are taking this very moment of now.\u00a0 We have the power to change who we are right now, but not by fretting over the past or fearing what may come next.\u00a0 When we live one moment at a time in the awareness that the past is the past and the future is unwritten, we find our peace.\u00a0 This is recovery.<\/p>\n
(Kevin McCormack C.A.d Is a certified addictions professional, as well as a Conversations with God Life Coach.\u00a0 Kevin is a practicing Auriculotherapist, and a Spiritual helper on <\/em>www.changingchange.net<\/span><\/a><\/span>.\u00a0 Kevin will be presenting at the CwG Recovery Retreat in Medford Oregon June 23rd<\/sup> \u2013 June 26th<\/sup>. \u00a0You can visit his website\u00a0at<\/em>\u00a0<\/i>www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com<\/span>\u00a0<\/a><\/em>\u00a0<\/i>To connect with Kevin, please email him at\u00a0<\/em>Kevin@theglobalconversation.com<\/em><\/span><\/a><\/span>)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There I was, walking away from my family and towards the detox ward of the hospital. Overwhelming fear, coupled with a hangover and sense of humiliation, weighing on my thoughts and my body.\u00a0 So many questions running through my head: What is this going to be like?\u00a0 What are they going to do to me?\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[159],"tags":[1025,185,1026,1024,1023,406,1027,195,1028,186,460,1029],"class_list":["post-4401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction-and-recovery","tag-addict","tag-addiction","tag-addictions","tag-addictive-behavior","tag-detox","tag-disease","tag-drugs-and-alcohol","tag-kevin-mccormack","tag-one-day-at-a-time","tag-recovery","tag-rehab","tag-this-moment-of-now"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4401"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4525,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4401\/revisions\/4525"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}