{"id":4478,"date":"2013-03-28T18:15:38","date_gmt":"2013-03-28T22:15:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=4478"},"modified":"2013-03-28T18:15:38","modified_gmt":"2013-03-28T22:15:38","slug":"family-addiction-it-affects-us-all","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=4478","title":{"rendered":"Family Addiction: It affects us all"},"content":{"rendered":"

(This week’s Addiction Column is hosting an article submitted by Cathy Taughinbaugh, Founder of “Treatment Talk.”)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am the parent of a former addict.<\/p>\n

When my daughter was 19, I realized she was addicted to crystal meth.\u00a0 It was late spring and she should have been finishing her sophomore year at college, but instead, because of her addiction, she was no longer attending classes. \u00a0She had taken a job washing dogs and she had just been fired.<\/p>\n

Through the years, I\u2019ve asked myself why I didn\u2019t know that my daughter was using drugs. As it turns out, she had been using on and off for the past four years, including her last two years of high school.<\/p>\n

I found crystal meth in her backpack in the fall of her senior year. \u00a0We had it identified, so we knew for sure what the drug was. \u00a0Her father and I sat her down and listened carefully as she explained through her tears that she was holding it for her friends and that she did not use the drug. \u00a0She said she would never do it again.<\/p>\n

I honestly believe that she\u00a0didn’t\u00a0use again. \u00a0For awhile.<\/p>\n

As parents, we were shocked, frightened, and angry that she had made this choice to use drugs. \u00a0We were filled with shame, and clearly in denial. \u00a0We were naive to think that our little talk would make any difference in my daughter\u2019s future choices.<\/p>\n

She was grounded for a few weeks. \u00a0She did attend a therapy appointment, but that didn\u2019t go well, so we discontinued it. \u00a0I try to stop myself, but I do occasionally think back on what we didn\u2019t do: We didn\u2019t drug test her.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t send her to a drug education program. \u00a0We didn\u2019t change her environment. \u00a0We did not regularly check her backpack and room, because if I\u2019m brutally honest, I was too scared of what I would find.<\/p>\n

There were a few minor infractions after that incident, but she kept her curfew, was accepted to college, and seemed to be functioning as a normal teenager.<\/p>\n

I know now why I was in denial during that time. \u00a0It is difficult to face a problem when you don\u2019t have the answers. \u00a0Drug use was new territory for me. \u00a0I had never had any family member addicted and didn\u2019t have a clue about crystal meth. Although I know now that I didn\u2019t cause it, at the time, I didn\u2019t want to face my role in my daughter\u2019s addiction.<\/p>\n

So like many parents, I continued on in my comfort zone. \u00a0I wanted to continue the close relationship with my daughter and was not sure how to do that and be the drug warden at the same time.<\/p>\n

But when she was almost 20 years old, her drug use became clear and that\u2019s when I jumped into action. \u00a0I called a few close friends that I thought could give me some guidance and help.<\/p>\n

We found an educational consultant who put us on a path to healing. \u00a0She agreed to treatment, and within one week she was on a plane to Utah to attend a Wilderness program for five weeks and then on to Southern California where she was in treatment for another three months. \u00a0Finally, she lived in a sober home for six months.<\/p>\n

Her program included getting a job and\/or attending college. \u00a0She did both and graduated from a local state university. \u00a0A part-time job in a grocery store helped pay expenses while going back to school.<\/p>\n

Today, I am a grateful parent. \u00a0My daughter has continued in long-term recovery and is doing well. \u00a0We both realized, first and foremost, that we needed to face our reality, change and grow.<\/p>\n

Having an addicted child is not what any mom dreams for her child. \u00a0This was the last thing I expected. \u00a0The emotional exhaustion sends you down a devastating path. \u00a0It is a journey to find your way back. \u00a0The financial costs took my breath away.<\/p>\n

For any family thrown into the midst of their child\u2019s addiction, you feel the full range of emotions throughout the experience. \u00a0From anxiety, to anger, frustration, sadness and grief, the emotions can consume you if you let them.\u00a0 You have to say goodbye to the child that once was and accept this new person whose life has become chaotic and unmanageable.<\/p>\n

The control of your life that you once had is now gone. \u00a0You know inside that you\u2019ve also lost the power to make a difference in your child\u2019s life while they are in the midst of their addiction.<\/p>\n

Just like any addicted person, finding a spiritual side to my life and seeking the support of others is what saved me. \u00a0It gave me the courage to ask for help, the strength to walk into that first Al-Anon meeting and the understanding that there was hope for my family.<\/p>\n

Self care and support was essential for me. \u00a0Addiction is draining on everyone but particularly those closest to the addict. \u00a0As they say in the airlines,<\/b> put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others.<\/b> \u00a0This is exactly what you need to do when you are dealing with your child\u2019s drug or alcohol dependence. \u00a0Work on healing yourself first before you try and heal your child.<\/p>\n

My daughter has moved on with her life and\u00a0doesn’t\u00a0discuss her addiction often. She knows, however, that life can be hard due to poor choices and the disease of addiction. \u00a0She also knows that there is always hope.<\/p>\n

We both realized that our lives could change when we were ready to dig deep, overcome our fear and take on the challenge to begin again.<\/p>\n

\"CathyT\"<\/a>(Cathy Taughinbaugh is a Parent Recovery and Life Coach and Founder of\u00a0Treatment Talk<\/span><\/a><\/span>,\u00a0a website dedicated to sharing and support for addiction, recovery and treatment.\u00a0Cathy is committed to educating parents, young adults and teens about the dangers of substance abuse.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(This week’s Addiction Column is hosting an article submitted by Cathy Taughinbaugh, Founder of “Treatment Talk.”) I am the parent of a former addict. When my daughter was 19, I realized she was addicted to crystal meth.\u00a0 It was late spring and she should have been finishing her sophomore year at college, but instead, because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[159],"tags":[185,612,1069,1072,1071,186,460,1070],"class_list":["post-4478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction-and-recovery","tag-addiction","tag-al-anon","tag-cathy-taughinbaugh","tag-crystal-meth","tag-family-addiction","tag-recovery","tag-rehab","tag-treatment-talk"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4478"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4538,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4478\/revisions\/4538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}