Recently I made the decision to switch careers and do what I really want to do, which is in speaking, consulting and writing, and I\u2019m really happy about that.\u00a0 The problem is I\u2019m not officially leaving my day job for another 3 months and I\u2019m not sure I can make it that long!\u00a0 I have mentally checked out, all I want to do is work on stuff for my new business, but I know that I have to stay with my job for awhile longer for financial reasons and because I made a commitment to so I can train in the new employee.\u00a0 It\u2019s also beginning to affect my personal life because I\u2019m so busy trying to do both.\u00a0 It all makes sense on the outside but I\u2019m miserable on the inside and the thought of feeling this way for the next 3 months is terrible.\u00a0 Do you have any advice on how I can manage during this limbo period?<\/p>\n
David, Indiana<\/p>\n
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Hi David,<\/p>\n
Being a firm believer in your external conditions not having to determine your happiness or internal conditions, yes, there are many ways to manage what you\u2019re feeling and how you\u2019re experiencing this limbo period.\u00a0 However, this could be less of an issue of \u201cmanaging during this limbo period\u201d as it is of challenging your beliefs around this transition, and what you think it needs to look like.\u00a0 Since I don\u2019t know the whole story, I\u2019m going to give you a bit of direction around both and you can choose the one that feels best, sound good?<\/p>\n
First of all, I want to invite you to remember that you are at the cause of your own experience.\u00a0 Maybe not all the events in your life, but definitely the experiences.\u00a0 So bring some loving consciousness and awareness into the situation by setting your intention each and every day.\u00a0 How do you want the day to go?\u00a0 What state of being would you like to be in?\u00a0 Sometimes that\u2019s all it takes, because it reminds you that you are at the cause and not the effect of how your day goes.\u00a0 But to give your intentions even more support, engage in some daily practices that will support positive thought, words and actions throughout your day, such as daily gratitude, or meditation.\u00a0 I cannot stress enough how important the word daily <\/i>is here.\u00a0 You see, it is not enough to occasionally engage in such practices or occasionally choose to have a positive outlook, in fact this is what sometimes causes people to find themselves in the this-positive-thinking-stuff-just-isn\u2019t-working-for-me-trap.\u00a0 If you\u2019re looking to feel good and be happy most of the time, then make a daily effort to make that happen.\u00a0 We are all more than capable of this.<\/p>\n
Now for the beliefs approach.\u00a0 What is your current belief around this transitional period?\u00a0 Based on what you said I\u2019m going to guess that your belief is something like this: \u201cI made a commitment to stay for 3 months and they are all depending on me to train my replacement in and I don\u2019t want to let them down.\u00a0 Plus, my business isn\u2019t quite ready yet and I need the money coming in right now.\u201d\u00a0 Is that close? I think we stay in situations that suck the life out of us largely because we hold at least one of 3 beliefs about it: we are obligated to stay, fear of the unknown, or we are responsible for the feelings of others.\u00a0 So I want you to ask yourself some big questions here, such as a)are you staying for the 3 months for one of the above reasons and b)if so, could there be another belief that might serve you better here?\u00a0 Take a look at some assumptions you\u2019ve made based on your belief about this.\u00a0 For example, is it really necessary for me to train in my replacement for 3 months?\u00a0 Would they be okay if I only did 1 month, or gave the widely accepted two-week notice instead?\u00a0 Really, would the company collapse in my absence?\u00a0 My guess is probably not.\u00a0 They\u2019d be just fine, and they are also at the cause of their own experience here; in other words, nobody\u2019s happiness is dependent on you other than your own.\u00a0 As for the financial reasons, is the belief you have about this based in fear or love?\u00a0 What would love do here?<\/p>\n
So, David, you\u2019ve got some thinking, contemplating, deciding, and re-creating to do.\u00a0 But I encourage you to not be overwhelmed by this, but instead be over-joyed by it.\u00a0 Our ability to re-create ourselves anew in each and every moment, to be at the cause of our own experience, is an incredible gift.\u00a0 Challenging, yes of course, but incredibly and deeply fulfilling, too.<\/p>\n
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