{"id":7026,"date":"2013-11-05T00:43:58","date_gmt":"2013-11-05T05:43:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=7026"},"modified":"2013-11-05T21:18:37","modified_gmt":"2013-11-06T02:18:37","slug":"what-does-a-friend-say-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/?p=7026","title":{"rendered":"What does a friend say?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A good friend of mine is going through some major changes in her life – angry separation from family, decrease in career\/income, and her gentleman friend called and told her he’d found someone new.<\/p>\n

She’s in a panic and turning to me and another good friend for support.\u00a0 I offered her the WECCE book, which she started to read and then put down.\u00a0 At this time she’s in no mood to hear that these changes may be for her own good and\/or that she created them.<\/p>\n

I want to support her, but am unsure what to say to her or do for her.\u00a0\u00a0 I cannot in honesty say \u201cpoor dear\u201d, because I DO believe WECCE (it’s worked in my life many times).\u00a0 I can agree with her that it’s a frightening and sad time for her, but she’s not ready to hear that the choice not to be frightened and sad has to come from within herself.<\/p>\n

I’ve told her that I know (from experience) that there’s really nothing I can say to make her feel better, that’s a\u00a0decision she must\u00a0make for herself.\u00a0 But that I will support her totally\u00a0in her choices to create the life she really wants, and that I love her.<\/p>\n

At one point in WECCE Neil says to stay with a feeling until it no longer serves you.\u00a0 Maybe that’s what she’s doing – staying with the saddness,\u00a0anger and fear until it no longer serves?\u00a0 Then when she asks for help, what does a friend say?<\/p>\n

Thanks, K<\/p>\n

Dear K,<\/p>\n

You have given her the book, and when\/if it is time for her to read it, she will.\u00a0 How lucky she is to have a friend like you who cares enough to not just talk, but to give tools!<\/p>\n

There is nothing wrong, by the way, with saying, \u201cpoor dear\u201d to her at this point in her changes, K. \u00a0This human experience is all too real and all too painful, more so for some than others. \u00a0Saying \u201cpoor dear\u201d now, does not mean that you must continue to do so, which would, of course, be enabling her to not even consider changing her mind about what is going on.\u00a0 So, yes, for now she must experience sadness, anger and fear until it no longer serves her…but, of course, everything does eventually <\/i>serve.<\/p>\n

The mistake that your friend may be making, regarding the \u201cshe created them\u201d statements in the book, is forgetting that we are co-creators\u2026and even then we are co-creating on a Soul level, and for a Soul purpose! \u00a0We most often have no direct control over the total picture, because we are rarely alone in that picture! \u00a0However, and this is the big \u201chowever\u201d, we do have control over our own reactions to the events of our lives. \u00a0The big lie, if you will, is that we can not consciously control who we are, in any given situation. \u00a0WECCE, as you know, gives us tools on how to do just that. \u00a0It gives us tools to overcome past data and become conscious co-creators and not victims. \u00a0The biggest example I give is Nelson Mandella. \u00a0He was in prison for many years, unjustly, and yet he knew that this was just his external circumstance, and that it had nothing to do with who he really is. \u00a0The same can be said of Jesus, or Ghandi, and many others. \u00a0There were surely people in that same prison with Mandella, imprisoned falsely, who thought of themselves as victims. \u00a0The two thieves on the cross with Jesus\u2026one found gratitude and love, the other stayed in victimhood. \u00a0They each made a choice.<\/p>\n

You might consider, when you are around your friend, and she is negative and in victim mode, asking her gentle questions and gently pointing out different ways of looking at things. \u00a0For instance, when she points out how horrible her boyfriend is, you might ask her if it isn’t a good thing that he isn’t lying to her any more so she can move on with her life in truth\u2026or if it isn’t a good thing that she isn’t taking any more risk of disease. \u00a0I am sure you get where I am going. \u00a0There is always a positive side, if one is willing to change their mind.<\/p>\n

Of course, if the negativity continues, it may come to the point you refer to above, and you simply have to say, \u201cI can see that you are hurting, but I can also see that none of the things that I have said mean anything to you right now. \u00a0I would like you to find the help and support you require, but it is clearly not coming from me right now. \u00a0I love you, and will be here when you think I can really be of help to you, but I can’t just sit here and let you live in misery and enable you to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n

I would encourage you to encourage her to look at what fear (panic) is doing to her, and see that it doesn’t really serve her in the way she might think it is serving her. \u00a0Those are emotions that only cause us to stay in place, whilst looking backward with longing\u2026but she can change her mind about her future!<\/p>\n

Thank you for coming here, and thank you for being a good friend, K!<\/p>\n

Therese<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at <\/i>www.cwghelpingoutreach.com<\/i><\/a>\u00a0\u00a0She may be contacted at:\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/i>Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com<\/i><\/a>.)<\/i><\/p>\n

(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to\u00a0<\/i>Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com<\/a>, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)<\/i><\/p>\n

An additional resource: \u00a0The\u00a0CWG Helping Outreach\u00a0<\/a>offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional\/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. \u00a0The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. \u00a0What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of\u00a0Conversations with God. \u00a0It is from this context that they offer\u00a0insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A good friend of mine is going through some major changes in her life – angry separation from family, decrease in career\/income, and her gentleman friend called and told her he’d found someone new. She’s in a panic and turning to me and another good friend for support.\u00a0 I offered her the WECCE book, which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[171],"tags":[333,1454,1086,62,1400,669,671],"class_list":["post-7026","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advice","tag-advice-2","tag-advice-to-a-friend","tag-co-create-our-reality","tag-cwg","tag-the-cwg-helping-outreach","tag-therese-wilson","tag-wecce"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7026","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7026"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7026\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7057,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7026\/revisions\/7057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7026"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7026"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theglobalconversation.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7026"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}