How can I heal the pain of my uncle\u2019s death?<\/p>\n
My name is Michael. I am a 37 year old man and nine days ago my very beloved uncle died. He was like a father to me. He always supported me, advised me, and was always so kind to me. When I was in trouble he always helped me. Now, after nine days since he left, I feel worse and worse. The pain I have in my heart is so terrible. How can I heal this pain, that I feel is killing me?<\/i><\/p>\n
<\/i>Dear Michael\u2026 First of all, please allow me to offer my condolences. I\u2019m sure it must be terribly painful, losing the man who was like a father to you, who was so kind and loving to you. Any time we lose someone in our lives who we were very very close to, it leaves a huge hole in our hearts.<\/p>\n
I would encourage you to allow yourself to fully feel all of the emotions that are naturally coming up for you, yet know that they won\u2019t kill you. You see, even though it may feel terrible, grief is actually a blessing to us. It\u2019s that emotion that lets us know that we have loved deeply. There is an age-old question that asks, \u201cIs it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?\u201d I think for me the answer is, it is better to have loved and lost. Imagine how different your life would have been had you not been blessed by your and your uncle\u2019s mutual love for each other. I\u2019m sure your life would be very different if he hadn\u2019t been in your life, so yes, by all means, grieve for your loss. Allow yourself to cry or scream or whatever wants to be released in you as you are releasing him from your physical presence.<\/p>\n
Please know, though, that just because your uncle is no longer with you physically doesn\u2019t mean he isn\u2019t with you spiritually. Neale\u2019s wonderful book, Home With God: In A Life That Never Ends<\/i> says that the moment we think of a dearly departed one, their soul flies to us in an instant! And although we can\u2019t see them with our eyes, it doesn\u2019t mean it isn\u2019t happening. Sometimes, if we are highly attuned we can sense their presence.<\/p>\n
Please also know that your uncle is your angel in heaven now. I promise you, he still loves you with all his heart, and is watching over you, blessing you and sending you his love. He may even try to find a way to let you know, by sending you a sign of some kind. If this happens and the thought crosses your mind that this could be him, please don\u2019t disregard or disbelieve it. Allow yourself to entertain the possibility that he has reached out to you!<\/p>\n
Trite as it may sound, time heals all wounds, dear Michael. Of course, time will never cause you to stop loving your uncle, but it can help you stop missing him so much. After you have allowed yourself to grieve fully, gradually start getting back into your normal routine of life. This will help assuage the acute feeling of loss you are experiencing now. And this is good, because I know your uncle wouldn\u2019t want you to grieve forever. He wants what any father figure wants for their child (or nephew): for you to be happy.<\/p>\n
Please buy a copy of Home With God<\/i> and read it right away. It contains \u201c18 Remembrances\u201d that may change your understanding about the whole process of this thing we call \u201clife and death\u201d. When we understand what is really happening, we can be much more at peace about it.<\/p>\n
If, after reading the book, you are still grieving very deeply, please reach out to one of the Conversations With God Life Coaches or one of the Spiritual Helpers at CWG Helping Outreach. I\u2019ve included a link to the website below.<\/p>\n
I send you much love, dear Michael, as, I\u2019m sure, does your uncle. Bless\u00e9d be.<\/p>\n
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of <\/i>CWG Advanced Programs<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span>, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author\/instructor of the <\/i>CWG Online School<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span>. To connect with Annie, please email her at <\/i>Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span>.<\/i><\/p>\n (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:\u00a0 <\/i>Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span> where our team is waiting to hear from you.)<\/i><\/p>\n