Tag: decisions

  • Did I Make the Wrong Decision?

    I recently took a job close to home, and I chose it over a job offer in another state.  Both jobs seemed like they’d be a good fit, and believe me I weighed the pros and cons of each; I literally almost just flipped a coin to decide.  My problem is, now that I made my choice I am plagued by thoughts that maybe it was the wrong one, that I am missing out on a totally different life that I might enjoy even more.  Is that insane?  How do I know I made the right choice, and if that’s not possible to know, how do I make peace with the one I made??

    Frank, Pennsylvania

     

    Ah decisions, decisions.  I don’t know about you, Frank, but to me the worst part about making the “wrong” decision is that I am the one who makes it, the responsibility falls on me.  But then, nearly in the same instant sometimes, I remember that because the responsibility falls on me, there is no such thing as a “wrong” decision.  In other words, you make a choice and then you make that choice the “right” choice.  You are the one who gives meaning to it, you are the one who creates what your experience is.

    You see, we can’t lose at this game of life, Frank, not really.  That’s because we’re making it all up.  Events show up in our lives and we are all at choice as to how we want to experience those events, where we want to place our focus and attention.  It’s the same with a choice we have already made – the event has happened and now we get to decide how we want to experience it, how we wish to view that choice.  And if I may, why on earth would we choose to view something as the “wrong” choice, full of regret, resentment, and feeling bad about ourselves, when we can just as easily say that this was a fantastic choice and feel great about ourselves?

    As for the curiosity over what taking that other job would’ve meant for your life, well, make that up too.  Give it meaning and proceed with your life from there.  Our brains, our bodies even, respond to what we think.  And furthermore, our minds don’t know the difference between memory, imagination, and “reality”; it will produce the same chemical reactions and physiological responses no matter what.  So again I say, why not make up (a.k.a. giving meaning to) something that feels good?

    And if by chance we decide that something was the “wrong” choice, remember this: opportunities in life are endless, literally endless.  There are more combinations of the elements and stuff of life than our minds could ever comprehend, there will always be something else available for you.  Strive to keep your attention on the good, on gratitude and possibility and love as much as you can and your awareness of those opportunities will increase.

    So go ahead and take a deep breath, Frank.  Stop telling yourself you made the wrong choice and start telling yourself you made the right one.  Give meaning to taking this job closer to home, and come from a place of what you want to say about it, with you as the authority on the matter.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

    An additional resource:  ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

     

     

  • If Not You, Who? If Not Now, When?

    I recently had a BIG ah-ha moment regarding what I want to do with my life, and I’m really excited about it.  It was like a light bulb went on in my head, almost like the idea was placed there.  However, I am finding that I’m afraid to take the leap at this time due to a number of reasons (time commitment, money, will I even be good at it, etc.) and am wondering if I should wait for a better time.  How do I truly know if it’s the right time or even the right choice for that matter?

    Nancy, Colorado

    Hi Nancy,

    I love when that happens!  And you described it perfectly, like the idea “was placed there” – and in my humble opinion, Nancy, that’s how you know.  When you feel it with such certainty and conviction, when your whole being lights up at the mere thought of it, when it feels like a no-brainer.  Only you can answer if it’s the right thing for you to do (and I’m dying to know what “it” is), of course, but the above “symptoms” are great indications that it is.  Now, regarding the “timing”:  No matter how valid a reason seems to not do something, they are excuses, my friend.  The bottom line here is that if there is something you want badly enough, if something is important enough, you can and will make it happen.  There are many resources and tools out there to assist you, as well as support from others, but it is up to you to follow through on it, and it takes action on your part.  This is a hard concept to swallow for some, because I think in the back of our minds we’re all hoping for that miracle or to be rescued.  But the miracle is inside us, it is us.

    Furthermore, consider that it isn’t a question of whether this is the right choice or the right time for it, it’s a question of whether or not you want it to be.  You get to decide if it is or not, you get to give meaning to it, no one else.  And rest assured that whatever you decide, whatever meaning you give this, the Universe will line up to support you.  Be easy about things, and trust that.

    Two great and powerful questions to ask yourself right now are, “If not you, who?  If not now, when?”  Some other general things to consider to help you give meaning to this:

    ~ Check in with yourself to see if this is an inspired action, one that excites you, lights you up, so much so that you actually feel it in your body (heart races, adrenaline pumping, can’t sit still you’re so jazzed).  It’s important to be aware of what you uniquely respond to and what works for you, as opposed to what may be right for others.

    ~ Money is the number one excuse why people don’t follow through with something they want.  You already know the financial cost.  Now ask yourself, “What is the cost of me not doing this?”  This is a great question to ask yourself even when money isn’t involved.

    ~ Bring the future into the now.  Visualize who you will be should you accomplish what you set out to do, and get as detailed as possible.  Allow yourself to feel what it’s like to already be there.  Hold on to that vision and those feelings to help keep you motivated.

    ~ When embarking on something new or different in life, fear and discomfort are always present.  Change is scary and uncomfortable, and is a natural part of growing yourself and stepping into who you really are.  Acknowledge this in the beginning, expect it and embrace it, and it will be easier to move through.

    Most of all, Nancy, whatever you decide, trust yourself.  Give yourself permission to feel good about it.  There is no right answer about anything – there’s only the meaning you give it.

    Nova

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)