Did I Make the Wrong Decision?
I recently took a job close to home, and I chose it over a job offer in another state. Both jobs seemed like they’d be a good fit, and believe me I weighed the pros and cons of each; I literally almost just flipped a coin to decide. My problem is, now that I made my choice I am plagued by thoughts that maybe it was the wrong one, that I am missing out on a totally different life that I might enjoy even more. Is that insane? How do I know I made the right choice, and if that’s not possible to know, how do I make peace with the one I made??
Frank, Pennsylvania
Ah decisions, decisions. I don’t know about you, Frank, but to me the worst part about making the “wrong” decision is that I am the one who makes it, the responsibility falls on me. But then, nearly in the same instant sometimes, I remember that because the responsibility falls on me, there is no such thing as a “wrong” decision. In other words, you make a choice and then you make that choice the “right” choice. You are the one who gives meaning to it, you are the one who creates what your experience is.
You see, we can’t lose at this game of life, Frank, not really. That’s because we’re making it all up. Events show up in our lives and we are all at choice as to how we want to experience those events, where we want to place our focus and attention. It’s the same with a choice we have already made – the event has happened and now we get to decide how we want to experience it, how we wish to view that choice. And if I may, why on earth would we choose to view something as the “wrong” choice, full of regret, resentment, and feeling bad about ourselves, when we can just as easily say that this was a fantastic choice and feel great about ourselves?
As for the curiosity over what taking that other job would’ve meant for your life, well, make that up too. Give it meaning and proceed with your life from there. Our brains, our bodies even, respond to what we think. And furthermore, our minds don’t know the difference between memory, imagination, and “reality”; it will produce the same chemical reactions and physiological responses no matter what. So again I say, why not make up (a.k.a. giving meaning to) something that feels good?
And if by chance we decide that something was the “wrong” choice, remember this: opportunities in life are endless, literally endless. There are more combinations of the elements and stuff of life than our minds could ever comprehend, there will always be something else available for you. Strive to keep your attention on the good, on gratitude and possibility and love as much as you can and your awareness of those opportunities will increase.
So go ahead and take a deep breath, Frank. Stop telling yourself you made the wrong choice and start telling yourself you made the right one. Give meaning to taking this job closer to home, and come from a place of what you want to say about it, with you as the authority on the matter.
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
