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  • Is Selfish a Good Thing?

    My friends and some of my family members think I am selfish because I am honest with them when I don’t want to do something or attend a function I’m invited to. They tell me I only think of myself, I only do things for myself, and that if I’m not careful I’m going to find myself all alone one day soon.  I’m conflicted because I don’t want to hurt their feelings, or be disliked or alone, but I don’t feel I’m in the wrong for speaking my truth.  How do I make them understand?

    Julia, London

     

    Hi Julia,

    I’ve heard it be said that selfishness is the vibrational alignment with self, and that is never a bad thing.  I happen to see selfishness as a good thing, actually, when used in the right context.  Everyone is responsible for themselves, and most unhappiness comes from the belief that we are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful thing to bring happiness and well-being to others, by doing so we receive the same thing.  But the distinction lies is whether or not we are responsible to do so.  We’re not.  Each soul on this planet came here with its own agenda, to experience particular things, and each soul knows what it’s doing.  Therefore, being “selfish”, or as I look at it, paying special attention to the soul’s desire or agenda, is not a bad thing at all.

    So what if doing what’s best for you, or “being selfish” appears to hurt another?  I’ve also heard it be said to “speak your truth, yet soothe your words with peace.”  Take a moment to evaluate how you are speaking your truth to others.  Do you sometimes come across as harsh, indignant, condescending maybe?  If so, ask yourself how you can soothe your words with peace when expressing what you desire.  In terms of “making them understand”, well, I’m afraid that’s just not possible, Julia.  We can’t make anyone do anything – remember, it is not we who are responsible for the reaction of another, that is completely up to them.  But there is great comfort and peace in knowing that you have been true to yourself, you have spoken your truth with great kindness and compassion, and have chosen to show up as authentically you, regardless of how another chooses to react.  There is also great freedom in allowing another their own experience.  It’s one of the best gifts you can give another.

    Also keep in mind that when people are upset with you, or don’t like something you are doing, you are giving them the gift of deciding who they are in respect to that.  And they’re reaction to you gives you the same opportunity.  And finally, sometimes we simply “grow in a different direction” with some people in our lives, when the purpose of your relationship has been served.  You may want to take a moment to ask yourself the difficult question of whether or not that applies to some of the people you are referring to.  And if this continues to be in an issue, this lack of understanding one another, that is, with certain people who you’d like to keep in your life, consider getting some counseling or a mediator involved to help close that gap in understanding.

    This isn’t an easy topic, this business of relating with those closest to us, it’s always a bit of a hot button.  But remember that you are responsible for YOU and only you, and if you are making choices from a place of authenticity, honesty and alignment, than you’re doing pretty darn well as far as I’m concerned.  Hope this helps.

    P.S. You may want to read about the 5 Levels of Truth, covered in “When Everything Changes, Change Everything”.  It offers great clarity around all of this speaking our truth to others business.

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Globalization vs. Traditional Religion

    We may as well face some facts. Back in the old days people would be born, live and die in the same village. Everyone they knew was of the same nationality, ate the same kinds of food, wore similar clothes and, most likely, was of the same religion. Some may have been vaguely aware that other cultures exist, but lacking any real contact with them, it was almost as if people from those other cultures were not really real. Back then it was common and acceptable to perceive one’s own culture and religion as central — and to see all others as somehow not “counting” quite as much. Few people had reason to think any more widely than this: provincial worldviews were the norm.

    But as transportation options improved, people began to move from place to place. Then suddenly they were exposed to people who were different. Some wound up with neighbors from a different country. Some might have had coworkers, or even supervisors, from a different religion.

    This brushing up against different world cultures would have caused people to compare their own customs and beliefs against those of these strangers. Generally speaking, two types of reaction were possible: 1) people could retreat into their comfortable and familiar worldviews, resisting and resenting the influx of these strangers into their awareness. They could dig in their heels and insist their own ways were more real, more right, and more valid than all the others. Or 2) They could forge relationships with the strangers and seek to understand the differences. They could try the strangers’ foods, listen to their music, even engage in conversations about their contrasting religious beliefs. People choosing this more transformative response would find themselves seeing commonalities with these strangers. They would likely come to see that there is good and bad, truth and falseness in all cultures — and all religions. This most likely would loosen the stronghold of religious exclusivity, and weaken the fences between people with different beliefs.

    People choosing the first option above would be refusing to allow themselves the opportunity to learn about others. They would be excluding a part of the truth from their awareness. They would be reinforcing their own provincialism and limiting their own growth. Conversely, those choosing the second option would be allowing more of the truth about our existence into their awareness, expanding their own horizons, growing.

    Now, these days with global communications as they are, people don’t even need to move to be exposed to other cultures and religious views. We need only turn on a computer or TV to be immediately thrown up against huge numbers of issues, people and cultures from all over the world. Their religious beliefs and practices will conflict with ours. This leaves us the same choices as listed above. We can choose to see only the differences, and retreat in fear from these others. Or we can broaden our worldview to include them in our common humanity.

    But how to include these others on the religious front when their beliefs and practices seem so different? How to move forward when some of our religious leaders are still insisting their own particular belief system has the only right answers? Admittedly it can be hard to rise above the divisiveness and triumphalism — and the attempts to convert everyone — when certain factions are blowing up our buildings with thousands of people in them.

    But there is another way to view this.

    Every religion has a literal level where all the beliefs and practices are specific to that faith. From within the literal level, one’s own creed appears very different from — and superior to — all the others. This can lead a person to conclude that his religion is the only right one, or at least the best one. Seeing only the literal level leaves us mired in discord, trying to assert the primacy of our beliefs over those of others.

    But another way of looking at this issue is emerging to the forefront in several camps. Thanks in part to global communications, some people are beginning to see beyond the literal level of religion. They are beginning to see through the specific symbols of their religion, to emerge with a far more general metaphorical understanding. They come to realize the allegorical nature of the stories in their religious texts. Then when they are faced with comparing those stories from other faiths, they can see that the religions are not so very different in intent.

    All religions contain a common core of values. Opening our minds and hearts to this truth allows us to realize that all religions arose from a common human search for connection with something greater than ourselves.

    All the elaborate rites, rituals and beliefs that make up each individual religion were created by humans according to their own local culture, but arose from a common universal quest shared by everyone. In this sense we must admit that all religions are but different localized ways to express a basic human need. Seen this way, insisting our religion is the only correct one begins to sound downright limited, parochial and immature; imposing specific rules from our particular holy book on others who have not chosen to follow it begins to sound ridiculous. When we can expand our worldview to include people of all religions, and those of no religion, into our human family, we become more mature in a spiritual sense. We move toward a position of seeing all people as cut from the same cloth. This is one little step on the road to unity — or the Oneness expressed as a goal of some religions like Buddhism.

    Some proponents claim that a general spiritual transformation is afoot where people are moving more and more quickly toward this realization. As more and more people are exposed to other belief systems, they are coming to appreciate that each religion contains some truth, but none has the whole and entire truth. They are coming to see that there is no chosen people, no one religion that is right over all the others. This transformation is being helped along by global communications, which increasingly exposes us to all different religions. Many people are confused, overwhelmed or turned off by competing religions all claiming superiority. But still recognizing their own search for connection with something greater than themselves, they adopt the “spiritual but not religious” label.

    Religious leaders interested in maintaining a vibrant flock would do well to adapt their message to this snowballing trend of globalization, which they cannot fight. Traditional religion will soon render itself irrelevant if fails to adopt more universal, more unitive themes into its teachings.

    (As a practicing optometrist, Margaret Placentra Johnston has been helping people see better in the physical world for the last thirty years. Now she writes to help people see more clearly in other ways. Captivated by the depth and beauty of the universal worldview described by various spiritual development theorists, Margaret used ten real life stories from real people to illustrate steps on the way to that worldview. Her book, Faith Beyond Belief: Stories of Good People Who Left Their Church Behind (Quest Books, October, 2012,) is the result of that search. Available wherever books are sold.* Visit FaithBeyondBelief-book.com for more information. *(Ebook format available at http://questbooks-ebookstore.net/Books/9780835640589?FromPage=search)

     

  • So You Want To Change The World? Series Part 3

    So You Want To Change the World? Series Part Three

    Part 3: Being Happy Now – The REAL American Dream  

    As teenagers go through the process of middle school, high school, and college, we often become completely focused on keeping ‘the eye on the prize’. We are told that all of our hard work, effort, and dedication will get us ‘the prize’, and that only the successful people can attain ‘the prize’ after years of constant demands and arduous journeys. Being an inquisitive teen, I ask all of you, what exactly is this ‘prize’ that we are told about? Is our definition of ‘prize’ different from their definition of ‘prize’?  And, can we get this ‘prize’ instantaneously, without having to suffer the continuous struggle?

    In the broadest sense, the Western American culture (or the Old Cultural Story), has defined ‘the prize’ to be the achievement of The American Dream, which may be seen as an even more elusive concept. As we look at history, its definition has changed quite dynamically over time. In 1931, historian James Truslow Addams first defined The American Dream in his book The Epic of America as “a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position.” This definition was refined to fit a new social order of the 1950s, as it then began to center around the image of the ‘perfect family’ with the father in a secure job and the mother at home in the picket fenced suburban home. Though the family roles have changed since then, the common ideal of having possessions (which got bigger and better each year) has carried throughout the decades to our current year. Or has it?

    As The American Dream has still remained ‘the prize’ for all generations, our generation of teens has taken it to mean something beyond its material definition. In a 2005 Harris Interactive Poll, 640 teens ranging from ages 13 to 18 chose their definition of The American Dream from a list of seven possible options. The majority of the teens determined that the definition of The American Dream is “Simply being happy, no matter what I do.” As other definitions, such as “being rich and famous”, fell far behind in the polls, it’s extremely clear that teens know that happiness, not symbols of wealth and status, is the true key to being successfully self-fulfilled. Whether it be in our interpersonal or intrapersonal lives, happiness is something that a large majority of teens are actively striving for.

    Unfortunately, the majority of people find image of happiness to still be a ‘prize’ that cannot be attained now, but rather after years and years of work. We still work hard now so that we can be happy with life later. But why? As we look back, we remember that the last and final step of the Three Way Path is Be Happy. I will go even further and say that it is Be Happy NOW. No matter what state, shape, or condition we are in, we can choose to be happy at any time of day. Why would we want to wait for years to enjoy something that we could choose to experience right now? Be happy purely for the sake of experiencing happiness. Choosing to be happy now will change your life, and just like the domino effect, will spread to an unimaginable amount of others. Forever and always, changing your choices changes your world.

    As over 75% of teens are sure that The American Dream is attainable, I dare them to attain it right now. I know I’ll hear a challenge accepted.  

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • many many things….make me unhappy!!

     

    many many things……………. make me unhappy!!

    nine years ago, my son would born, then I took a taxi to hosipital, because my husband hadn’t car, but my father had at that moment. When my son had been borned, my father and my brother hadn’t came to hosipital to visit me. My brother might be couldn’t come because the visit time just 1:00pm to 4:00pm, he needed to work, but my father hadn’t come just he didn’t want to go to hosipital. He visited my son and I since I came back to my house. but now my brother’s daughter borned, he drove his car to go to hosipital for them, he had come to hosipital to visit them, also he always to help them, my father and mother treat his wife well, everything homour my brother and her, they love their daughter so much, they don’t like my son because they think he is a naughty boy. They always altercation to my son when we go to their house everytime. They also don’t like my husband, because he haven’t make them happy, give anything to them, money…..etc. I said that just a little bit , In additon, many many things……, I can’t tell you one time…..may be you think I always compare with anothers special my brother. Yes, I think so , but I can’t accept my parents not fair to me.

    Unhappy …………….

     

    Dear Unhappy,

    HAPPY NEW YEAR! What a great day to have this question, since this is a day we consciously decide to change…and I have some suggestions on how to do that!

    I would invite you to read the book, “When Everything Changes, Change Everything” (WECCE). This book is all about how to deal with Change in your life, and how past data (our past experiences among other things), creates how we think and feel today.  Unhappy, the nine Changes discussed there guide us into understanding that we always have a choice as to how we feel in any situation…no one makes us unhappy, we allow our unhappiness.  We all have the choice to be happy by changing our minds about what makes us unhappy.  

    Life is all in how we look at it, Unhappy. Could it be that not having your family in your sons life is a good thing that you just do not see at this moment?  Most of life is quite unseen except when looking back at it, but that backward look can be taken immediately after the event or thought…it does not have to take years.

    You talk about things not being fair.  Unhappy, I believe life is always fair.  It is how we judge things that make things look unfair.  Consider changing your mind about this as well.  For instance, your niece has the attention of your family, but because of this you have been given the opportunity to look into yourself and see what is really important instead of only looking at the outside of things.  you have been given the opportunity to forgive yourself and others.  you have been given the opportunity for compassion.  You have been given the time to be with your son and husband more.

    And you have been given the opportunity to choose a different way of being a parent to your child.

    A huge part of changing your mind about things that have happened is Gratitude for all that has happened…and for all that is currently in your life. Without things that seem to go “wrong”, we can never understand and appreciate things when they go “right”. When we are fearful and without gratitude, even for the things that seem awful, we stay in the feeling of “awful”, and are not capable of moving into feeling “joyful”. CWG contends that each moment of our life is an opportunity to demonstrate who we are…life is not full of challenges, it is full of opportunities!

    Which means that we must practice changing our minds.  It doesn’t usually happen overnight, because our past data is our life…but it can be done with grace and Love.  Take moments every day to just look at what you feel is working in your life, and notice what it feels like in your body.  (This is a small meditation, BTW.)  That is the feeling you are looking for…and you will have created it all by yourself!  

    Sit and just say, “I am Grateful for Life” and feel it, and enjoy the feeling.  When you know what this feeling is, you will recognize when something does not feel “Grateful”, because your body will not feel the same easy feeling.  For instance, when you say “Life is unfair to me.”  I’ll bet you have tightness in your chest, maybe a lump in your throat, and gut, and more.  Now say, “I am Grateful for Life.”  I’ll bet you can notice the difference in the feelings!  When you notice the difference do you know what you have done?  You have just created a Change!  and you can do this with everything in your life. You will naturally wish to have this feeling and create it more and more!

    I hope you read the book, Unhappy, and go to the website at www.changingchange.net for a continuing discussion with our community there.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

     

  • What is your New Year’s Resolution? And, secondly, what is your wish for the New Year?

  • A “Dear James” letter

    I was born on the last day of the year.  So the annual transition of “out with the old and in with the new” feels especially pivotal to me as I reflect with gratitude upon what once was, I look forward with hope and anticipation for what is yet to come, and I explore more deeply the larger reason for my birth.  And, yes, I do make some “New Year’s Resolutions”; however, they have nothing to do with resolving to fit into last year’s pair of blue jeans.  And while more money flowing into my bank account rather than out of it would bring some much-needed financial relief, I will not be making that my top priority either.  Nor will I be committing to get a better job or setting my sights on traveling around the world sampling exotic foods.

    Part of the reason why I believe New Year’s Resolutions “fail” is because the purpose for which we enter into such agreements with ourselves has very little to do with the purpose of our lives.  I am sharing a letter I wrote to my 18-year-old son, as it captures the essence of how I feel about the arrival of a new year.  The gifts I have been given the opportunity to receive and give within the context of my relationship with my son have been some of the most profound and life-changing.  And I believe deeply that by allowing the gifts to flow through me to you, they become a gift to us all.

    “Dear James,

    As night gently falls on 2012 and the promise of a new dawn in 2013 hangs in the air, billions of people around the world will be resolving and committing to make changes in their life, hoping to stick to long-lasting resolutions that will finally deliver to them the things in life we all desire most — abundance, prosperity, better health, joy, security, happiness, and love — believing that this time, this year, their well-intentioned efforts will resemble more than simply a “to do” list for the first week of January.

    I wonder if you, too, feel that yearning, if you hear a beckoning to a higher calling, if you desire to make new choices with an eye on shaping and defining not just your experience for a particular year, but with an eye on shaping and defining the entire purpose of your life.  Ah, the purpose of life — the question that has perplexed scholars and religious teachers around the world, the question which has led countries into war and tested and stretched the fabric of every relationship we enter into, the question that is most looked at in the final moments of our physical being here on earth:

    What is the purpose of my life?

    My Beloved Son, I am here to share with you the answer.

    I will begin by sharing with you what the purpose of your life is not.  As my good friend, Neale, has shared many, many times, the purpose of life has very little to do, if anything, with “getting the girl, getting the car, getting the job, getting the house, getting the spouse, getting the kids, getting the better job, getting the better house, getting the promotion, getting the grandkids, getting the gray hair, getting the office in the corner, getting the retirement watch, getting the illness, getting the burial plot, and getting the hell out.”

    And so far, in the 46 years that I have been blessed to have on this earth, this has demonstrated itself to be true – life is not about any of those things.  I’ve had most of the things on that list, and some of them more than once.  And I am here to tell you that the purpose for my life was not realized or remembered by “getting” or “having” any one of them.

    So if life really isn’t about any of those things, then what is it about?

    This is what I know to be true:

    The purpose of your life is to create the purpose of your life.

    When you were a very young child, it mattered not to me whether you played baseball or joined Cub Scouts, whether you went swimming or read a book, or whether you ate pizza or spaghetti.  And now, as a young man who is living on his own, it matters not to me which career you choose or what area of the world you reside in, what you have for dinner, how you enjoy your spare time, or what kind of clothes you wear.

    Do not confuse “not mattering” with “not loving.”  My love for you is without conditions.  These choices would only matter to me if somehow the level of my love for you was attached to a particular outcome designed by me or hinged to a misguided idea that somehow you could fail in this Life game.

    I want for you what you want for you.

    And here is where it gets even better, James:

    God wants for us what we want for us.

    Society will tell you that in order to “earn” God’s love, you must be a certain way and do certain things.  Have you questioned this for yourself?  Have you wondered why a God who is “unconditionally loving” would place such conditions upon his love?  Have you dared to imagine a different kind of God?

    And if God wants for us what we want for us, and the purpose of our lives have nothing to do with what we have or what we get, what will the arrival of a new year mean to you?   What will you strive for?  What will you draw upon to ascribe meaning to the experiences in your life?

    Your life is an opportunity.  Within every occurrence, there is an opportunity for you.  And within every relationship, you are an opportunity for someone else.  Will you see those moments and embrace those gifts, both those that are being given to you and those you have to give?  As the world collectively and consciously welcomes the New Year, perhaps the largest number of people purposefully and simultaneously placing positive energy and intention into the world, how could our world not become a better place?  Where will you be in that process?  And WHO will you be in that process?

    What will you decide and what will you declare the purpose of your life to be, my beloved son?”

    What will the arrival of a New Year mean to you, my friends?  A new car?  More money?  Fitting in last year’s blue jeans?  Or perhaps at last the answer to one of life’s biggest questions:  What is the purpose of my life?

     (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team atwww.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • I lost the resolve to follow my truth

    I attended a spiritual retreat earlier this year. Afterward, I had all this strength and clarity and felt so strong! I made a decision to leave my husband, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time because the marriage was a mistake from the beginning. When I got home I told him, and it felt really good to start living my truth and moving my life in the right direction. But then I lost my resolve and let him talk me out of it, because trying to figure out all the details of a divorce seems overwhelming. I feel terrible because I really don’t want to be with him anymore. How can I get back on track and stay there?… Carly

    Dear Carly,

    It is said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. When making a big change in your life, don’t try to figure it all out at once. Just take it one step at a time, thanking God for guiding you every step of the way. Your feelings are your guidance and they come directly from God, via your Soul. God puts them there to guide you toward the most joyous life you can live, but the longer you continue to disregard the feelings that don’t feel good to you, the longer you postpone your joy.

    You already followed the first two steps of Truth-telling: “Tell your truth about yourself to yourself” and “tell your truth about yourself to another”. Yet, you say you’ve wavered in your resolve to act on it. Is it still your truth that you want to leave your husband? Knowing that this is a major decision in your life, please, once again, do some deep Soul searching about it. Then if it is still your truth, you may need to repeat that to your husband, as lovingly and compassionately as you can. You might soften the blow by telling him that relationships don’t ever end—they only change form. Endings can be very hard, so sometimes it’s easier if we think of them as changes, not endings. “We’re changing the way we interact together…”

    The way to stay on track is to stay in touch with your Soul, which knows all. You can’t figure this all out at the level of Mind, because the Mind’s information is so limited. However that works for you—prayer, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, chanting… whatever—make it a top priority every day. Better yet, make every waking moment a conversation with God. Learn to trust the wisdom of the Voice within you, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in your life. The more you follow that “still, small voice”, the happier you’ll be. And worry not about your husband, because he also has access to all the wisdom in the world. God is always with him too.

    Last but not least, you might find this mantra helpful as you encounter challenges along the way:

    “Thank you, God, for helping me remember that this problem has already been solved for me.”

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Beyond the Big Five

    The five most well-known and talked about addictions are Drugs/Alcohol, Gambling, Sex, Food/Sugar, and Co-Dependency.  Their affects on individuals and society are well-documented.  The recovery industry is a huge business with a fifty-mile stretch of highway from Delray Beach, Florida, down to Miami having over 400 treatment facilities!

    But I am not going to get into the Big Five today.  It is very clear that we as a society can and will become addicted to anything that takes us out of the human experience.  We can’t seem to stand being here, being present, being available, being sociable, being caring, loving, thoughtful, emotional, happy, sad, mad, glad — we’ll have none of that.  Give me bliss or give me completely checked out.  There is no middle ground here on this great physical experience we call Earth.

    This blog is the start of a sub-series of blogs in the larger topic of evolving the Twelve Steps into a spiritually centered, personal-power oriented, recovery program.  We are going to take a look at the so-called “soft” addictions in this series.  The first of these is going to be the obsessive-compulsive use of electronics.

    We have set up our whole culture to enable us to check out.  We are seemingly possessed, diving into our iPhones or Blackberrys at every stop sign or traffic light — wait, check that — we drive down the road at 80 miles per hour checking our email, texting, surfing the web, or watching a movie.  We can’t even be present while doing something that requires us to be alert and on guard, like driving a car in rush-hour traffic.

    My wife and I were out to eat the other night and we casually looked around the restaurant to “people watch” for a minute.  We both found a young couple in their early 20’s sitting at a table for two; both of them had their Smart Phones out and were seemingly oblivious to the world going on around them.  What is it that the phone is giving them that the person across the booth is not?  What is it that makes us so afraid to emotionally connect with another person over dinner?

    The other day I took the family to a movie, and during one scene that was particularly quiet it became apparent that the guy behind us was on his phone having a conversation!  When asked to stop, he replied back that the call was important and he had to take it!  Does the electronic signal from the phone make it impossible for the person holding it to possess good judgment?  Was the call so important he couldn’t take it out of the theater?

    So let’s be honest here, it isn’t the electronic equipment that is causing us to obsess like this.  We are willing participants in the anti-social behavior of “teching out” – the act of checking out with the help of technology.  What is the payoff?  It would appear that not having to stay present, interested, engaged, progressive, and emotionally connected is what we are after.

    We spend most of our waking moments checked out!  We as a society have made it our priority to do whatever it takes to not experience what it is like to be human.  At some point we decided that life sucks and we need to find some way of passing the time till we can get the hell out.  Granted this wasn’t a conscious decision for most, but it happened nonetheless.

    This epidemic of disconnectedness will ultimately fail to produce the results we desire in life.  Just like with the chemical addictions, lives will start to fall apart, relationships will dissolve, friends will part ways, jobs will be lost due to decreased productivity, people will find themselves at emotional bottoms.  And maybe then a miracle will take place.

    Some will find this program and awaken to the truth that is in them, that they are more  than their body, more  than their personality, that they are a singular aspect of God, and that all of us are a piece of God.  We open ourselves to the realization that our souls choose to come here to experience the wonderment of life through the inter-connected mass of sentient beings.

    When we come to understand this on a deeper level, we not only want to be engaged with others, we go out of our way to do so.  We come to realize that it is only through our relationships with others, that we can experience the greatest joy, the grandest feelings of who and what we really are:  Love.

    This is part of the process Neale has termed “The Civil Rights Movement for the Soul.”  So this obsession we are all experiencing is a gift from God, The Universe, Source, Allah, Buddha, Jesus or whatever Deity term suits you.  This is the opportunity that these polarizing afflictions create in the human experience.  They give rise to the opportunities for grandeur.

    I ask you to look around you and notice what others are doing.  Take inventory of what others do,  not to damn those who may be doing something you disapprove of, but to see if there is something in your life that may be similar that you could maybe spend a little effort eradicating from your persona.  Examine how others interact and see how it looks from the outside.  The entire world is our mirror; let’s look in that mirror and see the present.

    (Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, and an Addictions recovery advisor. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)

  • What role are you playing?

    “All the world’s a stage,

    And all the men and women merely players:

    They have their exits and their entrances;

    And one man in his time plays many parts,

    His acts being seven ages.”

    ~ William Shakespeare’s “As You Like it”

    During my years as an elementary teacher, I would encourage the children to role-play. It was an enjoyable alternative to teacher-led learning, both for the younger children who engrossed themselves in mimicking their favorite animal or activity, and for the older children, it provided an opportunity to acquire a deeper understanding of a character or scene they were studying.

    One day, a group of younger children were role-playing the person they wanted to be when they grew up.  A boy held an imaginary hose as he put out a ‘fire,’ whilst a girl, playing the role of doctor, questioned a ‘patient’ about his health.  As each child took turns to explain to the class who they were pretending to be, a small voice was heard from the back of the group, “Who are you pretending to be, teacher?”

    Although a seemingly innocuous question, only in later life, when addressing the choices I had made for myself, did I wonder whether they had been made for my own good or merely for the good of the role I had chosen to play.   The language of role-play peppers our conversation.  We hear about ‘the role of the parent,’ ‘our role in society’ or ‘defining our role.’  It is as though, upon entering adulthood, role-play is a given.  Having pretended to be someone else as children, it is now assumed that we have sufficiently perfected our role so as to avoid the reveal of our true nature. Sadly, though, unlike the child who reverts back to themselves once the game is over, many adults have so refined their role that they have come to define themselves by it.

    It could be said, however, that it is in infancy where we learn the fundamentals of role-play, when we tune into the primary caregivers’ needs that are inextricably linked to our own. Derived from survival instinct, the infant intuitively feels what they need to do in order to ensure that their own physical and emotional needs are met. So from the earliest stage, we behave in a way that pleases our caregivers, because the more pleased they are with us, the more loved we feel by them, in which case it appears that the greatest role we play in our lives is motivated by the primal need to be unconditionally loved and accepted.

    In the event that our needs are being met, the question arises as to why we would not continue role-playing as adults.  If we are already receiving unconditional love and acceptance, then there is no reason to change, except that we are not receiving unconditional love and acceptance from others, otherwise we would not continue playing a game that denies us the opportunity to unconditionally love and accept ourselves.  In other words, when we are shown how to love and accept ourselves by others, we become our own primary caregiver.

    Part of the maturation process, this stage of our emotional development allows us to confidently detach from the care-giver and establish ourselves in our own power. At this point we see that role-playing is not only superfluous but a hindrance to our emotional growth and well-being.

    In hindsight then, it appears that the only reason we should ever role-play is to imagine ourselves as another person, but not necessarily to be that person, otherwise we are in danger of becoming habitual repeaters of a pattern that stunts our emotional development.  We would spend our lives believing that the satisfaction of our needs depends on someone else’s fulfillment of them.  Like the son who excels in the profession of his Father’s choice, or the daughter’s husband who was more her Mother’s choice, we are all in danger of losing ourselves in a role….. unless we acknowledge that it is each individual alone who is the source of their own fulfillment, at which point our relationships become truly authentic as we come to recognize the authenticity within ourselves.

    (Gemma Phelan is from Ireland where she works as an editor. In her spare time, she enjoys giving musical recitals and teaching various complementary healing modalities.)

    (If you would like to contribute an article you have authored to the Guest Column, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space.  Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.  Please label the topic: “Guest Column.”)

     

  • ON THE FACEBOOK PLATFORM of Neale Donald Walsch there is an excerpt-by-excerpt posting of The Only Thing That Matters, the newest book in the Conversations with God cosmology. Here is one of those entries…
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    An Enormous Power Has Been Placed in Your Hands

    Now you have one missing piece of the puzzle. Now you have one transformative tool. (You will be given others here as well.) It is a device with immense power—a simple device that can transform almost any moment, almost miraculously, almost immediately.

    But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s understand exactly what this tool is.

    Gratitude is not merely an emotion, it is a decision.

    So powerful is this decision that it becomes a definition and a declaration. It defines and declares your experience of Here and Now. And hence, your reality. Gratitude can be a simple emotional reaction, or it can be a magnificent spiritual creation. It is a simple reaction when your Mind is on Automatic. It is a magnificent creation when your Mind has merged with your Soul in making a combined choice about any Present Moment.

    In every Moment of your life your choice is always the same: to move into Reaction or Creation.

    (You might have a little fun noticing that “reaction” and “creation” are very close to being the same word. Only the C and the R need to be reversed. When you C what you have always been meant to C, then you R what you always R—and the course of your life is reversed.)
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    Visit this site: http://goo.gl/gFAsm to find out more.

    (NOTE from NDW SUPPORT: Neale considers THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS (released from Hay House) to be his most important book to emerge from God’s inspiration since “Conversations with God.” Neale’s dream is that everyone could read every word that’s in this text. He is therefore posting the entire book, line-by-line, here on Facebook, in daily excerpts. He hopes that you will find the book as beneficial as he has.)