AA
With the odds of beating addiction and leading a productive life so low, the question has to be asked: Why do some recover? What is it that those few people are doing that opens up the door for an addiction-free life?
There are many factors involved, Divine intervention being one of them! But overall, the current path showing the best results are the 12-step programs. “So what are they doing that other programs are not?” you may ask. And I am here to tell you what I believe it is.
The fundamental aspect of the 12-step programs is that you do not go it alone. One of the very first suggestions to a newcomer is to get a sponsor. It is strongly suggested that the person you choose to be your sponsor has at least one year in the program, goes to meetings regularly, has a sponsor them self, and inspires you to stick around. This person should be of the same sex; or in cases of gay or lesbian, they should be the opposite sex. Many deep emotional processes will be encountered in this relationship, and having a romantic interest would destroy the sanctity of the sponsor.
It is well-known in the 12-step world that if you ignore this suggestion, the chances of your gaining long-term sobriety are bleak. Addiction is a disease of denial and deception. And who knows better if you are living in denial or deceit than someone who is all too familiar with those states of being? The old saying “You can’t bullcrap a bullcrapper” (insert your own profanity if you so choose) really applies here.
“An addict alone is in bad company”
Life was not intended to be lived in solitary. We live in the Realm of Relativity and we need others to help us shape our perspective. This is especially true to the recovering person as they have spent nearly their entire existence telling lies. This reminds me of a 12-step joke. Please indulge me here….
“Do you know how to tell if a newcomer is lying?” says one 12-stepper to another? “Yes,” the other person says, “when their lips are moving!”
Sometimes recovery is down and dirty and you have to assume the worst in order to help someone get through a tough time. The one thing old-timers in the rooms know, pulling punches never helps anyone. You have to be straight, direct, blunt, and willing to alienate someone if your gut instincts tell you they are up to their old tricks.
This is the area that the 12-step programs have nailed down perfectly. We do not need to have people in our lives that tell us what we want to hear. What everyone needs are people surrounding them who will speak their truth at all times. Compulsive behaviors, addiction, and deception cannot be practiced in the light of honesty and openness; this is what gives way to long-term sobriety. The Tenth Step says something profound:
“We continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.”
Wow! Imagine the world for just a moment if everyone used just that tiny part of the 12-step program in their daily life! Nevermind the humility it takes to do that, but think about the amazing conversations that we would be having with each other. Humans would bond together like molecules of water, ebbing and flowing with purpose through life. Some may argue that there is no “right and wrong.” And I will give you that. So let’s change the wording slightly:
“We continue to take personal inventory. And when we become aware that something we are doing is not an expression of who and what we are at our core, we promptly seek to make the changes necessary to bring ourselves back into alignment.”
Let’s face it, we are human. And “to err is human.” This is the beauty of the Realm of the Relative. We always have events occurring that could use improvement. This is a process of evolution we are in here, and we have many opportunities to move along that path together. Every opportunity to express ourselves in our highest expression moves us to a place of greater understanding. By purposefully being aware of our own behavior, how it is sent, and how it is received, we offer ourselves and the other the space for expansion.
(Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, and an Addictions recovery advisor. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
Soft addictions are patterns of behavior we develop as coping mechanisms. These so-called addictions are considered endogenous in the treatment community. What this means is that the end result of the behavior is an internal release of reward chemicals in the brain.
Human beings are all reward driven. Some of us like the reward of excitement, that feeling of being “on top of the world,” and there are others who seek to feel more repressed or subdued. Regardless of which you are, you would not choose to continue to live if you could not experience an emotional reward.
Truly depressed people will share that their life is dark and empty, with no meaning. These people are experiencing a life with little or no reward; and many who are truly in this place choose to end their lives. It has been said that no normally functioning person could imagine what the person whose brain chemistry lacking in reward chemicals experiences.
These naturally occurring chemicals are either dopamine or serotonin, and they control our moods. When we have extra dopamine flowing, we are considered “high” or excited. When we inhibit our serotonin levels, we are mellow or maybe even depressed. Just for the sake comparison, cocaine is considered to be a dopaminergic drug; it increases the amount of dopamine in the synapses of the brain, giving us the reward of a high. Alcohol is considered gabainergic, which is a depressant. Alcohol acts to lower serotonin levels throughout the body.
When we find a particular behavior that seems to work to bring the desired result, some of us become dependent on them. When this dependency stops us from maturing and developing other coping mechanisms, that addiction takes place. The difficulty in diagnosis is that most of the so-called “soft” addictions are common behaviors that, much like drugs and alcohol, if consumed correctly and with moderation, are very normal human actions. What defines them as addictions is also the same as with drugs: “repeated usage in spite of negative consequences.” You will see this phrase used in this column often.
When you lose multiple jobs from being tardy or absent, you may want to see if you are continuing unhelpful behaviors in spite of negative consequences.
If you find your partners, whether they be spouse or other, continue to leave you, citing your behavior, it may be time to see if you have been repeating behaviors that bring negative consequences.
Do you know all the first names of the police officers in your town because they have all given you tickets? This is continued dangerous driving in spite of negative consequences. And just to let you know, when a normal driver, one who is not seeking brain-reward chemicals from speeding or running red lights, gets a ticket, they take the blame for it and see to it that it never happens again. Okay, I’ll admit, I needed to hear that and see it in writing as well! My own son termed me a “habitual traffic offender.” Nothing like the innocence of a young one to help break down your denial!
Do your friends not want to hang out with you anymore because you argue all the time? Have you ever admitted to being wrong about something? Have you admitted you were wrong just to win another argument and be proven right again? Has anyone ever called you “Mr. or Mrs. Right,” first name “Always”? The addiction to being right could be one of the most damaging behavioral defects in our society. The effects are very clear to all but those who are smitten by this very divisive, anti-social, ego-driven compulsion.
These are just a few of the soft addictions that plague humanity and keep us from experiencing our full potential as Triune Beings. The willingness to look at ourselves and do a simple inventory of our lives and experiences we have had can unlock the door to the freedom and joy that we all say we wish to experience. The world outside of us does not need to change for this to happen, and we would do well to stop waiting for the world to change before we do.
Recovery is a personal journey that starts when we turn our focus inward and confront the reality which is our lives to date. Every act is an act of self-definition, meaning everything we have said or done is who we are. The hardest thing to do is give ourselves an honest and open appraisal. The help of another person on the same journey is extremely important for us to arrive at our own truth.
Denial is the biggest obstacle to recovery. When we continuously place the blame of negative experiences outside of ourselves, we are in a reactive pattern. Keep this in mind: When you have one finger pointing at someone or something other than yourself, you have three fingers pointing back at you.
(Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, and an Addictions recovery advisor. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
The five most well-known and talked about addictions are Drugs/Alcohol, Gambling, Sex, Food/Sugar, and Co-Dependency. Their affects on individuals and society are well-documented. The recovery industry is a huge business with a fifty-mile stretch of highway from Delray Beach, Florida, down to Miami having over 400 treatment facilities!
But I am not going to get into the Big Five today. It is very clear that we as a society can and will become addicted to anything that takes us out of the human experience. We can’t seem to stand being here, being present, being available, being sociable, being caring, loving, thoughtful, emotional, happy, sad, mad, glad — we’ll have none of that. Give me bliss or give me completely checked out. There is no middle ground here on this great physical experience we call Earth.
This blog is the start of a sub-series of blogs in the larger topic of evolving the Twelve Steps into a spiritually centered, personal-power oriented, recovery program. We are going to take a look at the so-called “soft” addictions in this series. The first of these is going to be the obsessive-compulsive use of electronics.
We have set up our whole culture to enable us to check out. We are seemingly possessed, diving into our iPhones or Blackberrys at every stop sign or traffic light — wait, check that — we drive down the road at 80 miles per hour checking our email, texting, surfing the web, or watching a movie. We can’t even be present while doing something that requires us to be alert and on guard, like driving a car in rush-hour traffic.
My wife and I were out to eat the other night and we casually looked around the restaurant to “people watch” for a minute. We both found a young couple in their early 20’s sitting at a table for two; both of them had their Smart Phones out and were seemingly oblivious to the world going on around them. What is it that the phone is giving them that the person across the booth is not? What is it that makes us so afraid to emotionally connect with another person over dinner?
The other day I took the family to a movie, and during one scene that was particularly quiet it became apparent that the guy behind us was on his phone having a conversation! When asked to stop, he replied back that the call was important and he had to take it! Does the electronic signal from the phone make it impossible for the person holding it to possess good judgment? Was the call so important he couldn’t take it out of the theater?
So let’s be honest here, it isn’t the electronic equipment that is causing us to obsess like this. We are willing participants in the anti-social behavior of “teching out” – the act of checking out with the help of technology. What is the payoff? It would appear that not having to stay present, interested, engaged, progressive, and emotionally connected is what we are after.
We spend most of our waking moments checked out! We as a society have made it our priority to do whatever it takes to not experience what it is like to be human. At some point we decided that life sucks and we need to find some way of passing the time till we can get the hell out. Granted this wasn’t a conscious decision for most, but it happened nonetheless.
This epidemic of disconnectedness will ultimately fail to produce the results we desire in life. Just like with the chemical addictions, lives will start to fall apart, relationships will dissolve, friends will part ways, jobs will be lost due to decreased productivity, people will find themselves at emotional bottoms. And maybe then a miracle will take place.
Some will find this program and awaken to the truth that is in them, that they are more than their body, more than their personality, that they are a singular aspect of God, and that all of us are a piece of God. We open ourselves to the realization that our souls choose to come here to experience the wonderment of life through the inter-connected mass of sentient beings.
When we come to understand this on a deeper level, we not only want to be engaged with others, we go out of our way to do so. We come to realize that it is only through our relationships with others, that we can experience the greatest joy, the grandest feelings of who and what we really are: Love.
This is part of the process Neale has termed “The Civil Rights Movement for the Soul.” So this obsession we are all experiencing is a gift from God, The Universe, Source, Allah, Buddha, Jesus or whatever Deity term suits you. This is the opportunity that these polarizing afflictions create in the human experience. They give rise to the opportunities for grandeur.
I ask you to look around you and notice what others are doing. Take inventory of what others do, not to damn those who may be doing something you disapprove of, but to see if there is something in your life that may be similar that you could maybe spend a little effort eradicating from your persona. Examine how others interact and see how it looks from the outside. The entire world is our mirror; let’s look in that mirror and see the present.
(Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, and an Addictions recovery advisor. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
The Twelve Steps were originally written by Dr. Bob and Bill W. in 1939. They are to this day considered the foundation of recovery for all types of addictions and compulsive disorders. And without question, the application of the Twelve Steps into one’s life gives the best chances of long-term sobriety. It has long been my belief that there is no human condition the Twelve Steps could not improve. They are simply a guide to living life in an honest, open-minded, humble, intentional, and responsible manner. What I cannot believe is that there has not been anyone who dares to expand on them, until now.
I am going to offer an alternative to the original Twelve Steps. I want to be very clear here, these are not meant to replace the Twelve Steps, they are not intended to imply that there is something wrong with the Twelve Steps. There is, however, something that has troubled me — and from what I now know, this has been a huge stumbling block for others as well — and that is the idea that we are somehow powerless. For those who do not know, the current First Step states: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.”
A great friend of mine laughingly says, “I don’t remember booze jumping down my throat on its own.” I am very clear that it was my thought to go to the bar, it was my words that asked for the drink, and it was my hand that lifted the poison to my lips. I see no powerlessness there; I see the deliberate, albeit insane, act of doing the same thing over and over, all the while expecting different results. I will grant you that after the first one, I was compelled to continue drinking by the mind-numbing action of the alcohol, coupled with its amazing ability to make me feel like I fit in. This is the point where I felt the most powerless. And even then, I was able to regulate my intake enough to not overdose or get sick; that is, most of the time…. So was I truly powerless?
The other bone of contention I have heard from people, and again I would agree with, is the labeling of oneself as an “alcoholic” or “addict.” Anyone who has spent any time in the spiritual community or with a life-coach or a counselor knows that the word directly following “I am” is an extremely powerful word. Taking on such a label for the rest of one’s life could, in fact, bring about a relapse or a repeat of the past. Many in the Twelve Step programs have chosen to alter that saying with statements such as “I am a grateful recovering addict.” This is a step in the right direction as far as I am concerned. A truthful and extremely powerful statement would look more like the following: “Hi. My name is Kevin. I am choosing sobriety.”
Maybe the original thought when writing the Steps was based on the knowledge of the terrible guilt, shame, and remorse most of us feel when we hit the bottom and seek help. Somehow the word “powerless” seems to take us off the hook for the horrible behavior and unthinkable selfishness that we continually expressed. Maybe the sheer thought of taking full responsibility right off the bat would send the genetically predisposed addicts right back to their drug of choice. Is that a good enough reason to use the word “powerless”? I will leave that up to you.
What I am going to do here is create a new First Step, one that allows us to acknowledge our own divinity and at the same time gives us the opportunity to admit that our choices up to this point were not in the best interest of ourselves, our loved ones, or anyone whom our behavior damaged in any way.
This new First Step will be the largest step, the most intensive step. And just like the original AA First Step, it will be the most difficult step. There will be no rushing through this or any of the new spirituality steps to recovery. The days of someone going over to their sponsor’s house for the weekend to do all Twelve Steps are over. This is a lifetime of work that we are about to undertake here. After all, the reason for getting sober is to live, right? The reason for making a drastic change to your way of life is to live a joyful and full life, right? So how can one do that by spending a weekend working on the erroneous thoughts they have spent their whole life tending to?
Reading words in a book and feeling them in your gut only makes them a concept with which you resonate; it does not bring about a knowing. Experiencing those words in your own actions is what will cause you to know them as real. There is a huge difference between thinking, believing, and knowing. Thoughts change all the time. New thoughts pop up by the thousands per second, not always our highest thoughts by the way! Beliefs are also subject to change based upon things we see and how we interpret them in our mind. Knowing is something different altogether. When you know something to be true, you will base your life around it.
So without further ado, I offer you the first in a series of new spirituality steps to use in the process of changing those lifelong behaviors, attitudes, addictions, compulsions, or obsessions that have alienated family, friends, and loved ones, harmed countless other people, and left your life lonely, empty, and dark.
Step 1. I see that the way in which I have chosen to live does not work. I am now ready to create myself anew as a sober, responsible, and accountable member of society.
This step will require much work be done, as it clearly states that everything we thought we knew about living life was faulty or no longer viable. We will need tremendous support and guidance in building a new foundation for our lives. As the original program states, “You need to change your people, places, and things.” Having those around us who are willing to tell us when we are not being who we now say we are and reeling us back in when we fall prey to old thoughts and behaviors will be vital to sustained change.
I once again will state that I am really clear that for 20 percent of the addicted population, the Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps are working quite well. What I find incredibly disturbing is that leaves 80 percent of the group in the grip of this continuing and progressive illness without an option.
It is my belief that the soul brings us to the physical so that we may experience ourselves in ways never before experienced. In honoring that belief, I feel it is my duty to offer this new solution to one of life’s biggest problems. Stay tuned. This is only Part One in a series of blogs that will re-write the Twelve Steps to align with the new spirituality.
(Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, Addictions recovery advisor. To connect with Kevin please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
Okay, we have all heard someone say that, whether it was in jest or someone actually meant “I am going to drink because I can‘t deal with you.” Oftentimes the loved ones of an addict will actually believe that they are causing the addict to use, and they may just be right.
By no means am I saying that the user would not be using if those around them simply conformed to their wishes. What I am saying is that the person who is in early stages of recovery has an enormous amount of guilt and shame to work through in order to maintain sobriety. The distractions of an unhealthy relationship can be the stumbling block the person in early recovery cannot hurdle.
The co-dependent has become so reactionary that they lose themselves totally in the others problem. They either obsess over how to gain or maintain sobriety for the abuser, or they demand reparations for all the past damage before the significant other is ready or able to give it. This is why it is so vital for the co-dependent to accept that they have been affected by the disease and face the dysfunction it has create in their own life. As we fall together, so too shall we grow together.
There are three possible outcomes for a recovering alcoholic or drug addicts and their families:
1. The spouse or family finds a program and recovers and the user recovers.
2. The spouse or family does not recover and the user relapses.
3. The spouse or family does not recover and the user leaves the family to stay in recovery.
I understand how hard it is for someone who has lived with a person in active addiction to accept that they have contracted the same disease. I know in the minds of many this sounds like an indictment on the “victim.” I assure you that it is not an attack. Your wounds are real, your anger is valid, and your inability to trust is understandable. What I am trying to convey here is that you have put life on hold while you did the best you could to try and get a handle on a seemingly impossible situation. In order for you to regain your sense of normalcy, you must engage yourself in the process of re-discovery of self.
We are in relationships to experience our highest thoughts about who we are and why we are here. In a functionally loving relationship, we work together for the highest good. My best asset to another is my own understanding of my purpose in life. When I take care of me, I am taking care of “we.” This is precisely what the 12-step programs are geared towards, redefining me in a healthy and positive way.
It is particularly important to define personal boundaries in a working relationship between a co-dependent and a person in recovery. In all relationships one must let their counterpart know what is acceptable and what is not. Most often we do not know what our boundaries are until they are crossed. Once we are aware of an issue, we must then find the most effective way to inform the other of our discovery.
Communication is something that in most cases had broken down many years prior to the point of both parties getting into recovery, yet it is essential to work towards finding a compassionate and understanding way of communication as soon as possible. Many times we don’t share our thoughts and feelings due to our own made-up story of possible outcomes of doing so. This is can no longer be acceptable in recovery. There is no room for sweeping our problems under the rug and acting like everything is fine. We must create a space that is safe for our self and our other to express themselves.
My suggestion to anyone who finds themselves affected by a significant other’s abuse would be to find an appropriate 12-step meeting, such as Al-Anon, or Alateen, CODA, Nar-Anon, etc. Determine what it is you would like to do moving forward and take steps towards doing that. Define what you will not accept and communicate that to the addict in your life.
(Kevin McCormack is a “Conversations with God” Life Coach, a Spiritual Helper on www.changingchange.net, and an addictions recovery advisor. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com.)
At some point in our lives, most can agree in conversation that nothing happens by accident, that there is a purpose for everything in life. When trauma strikes the person who has not yet developed or has not been taught helpful coping skills, addiction can take over their personality. Anything that alters this person’s mood, feelings, emotions is subject to abuse. Each person finds what works best for them; and once they do, any hope of developing the proper coping mechanism is lost.
People with an addictive personality will stop at nothing to achieve and maintain the high that keeps them from experiencing life in its natural state. This is where the root of addiction lives, the refusal to accept life on life’s terms, arguing with what is so, fighting to be right, crashing into the brick wall over and over again. Sometimes there is a brief moment where there appears to be surrender. The addict appears broken, ready, and willing to give up. They seem willing to face the fact that the high that once kept them from having to feel is no longer working. Then a little time goes by, the apologies come, the endless talk of “I will never do _______ again” starts, everyone thinks things are “looking up,” and then WHAM, they find themselves getting high again.
This can be very frustrating for the loved ones in the addict’s life. They cannot understand what happened, “You said you weren’t going to drink anymore, you stopped for a whole week and talked about how committed you were. What happened? Why???” The co-dependent’s hopes and expectations get crushed over and over again by the disease of addiction. Now they begin to be at odds with life themselves. The whole family is under the control of addiction; life has become completely reactionary for everyone involved.
What the family and friends are not aware of is that inside the addictive person’s brain is the obsession to use. The addict is thinking about getting high all the time, even when they have “quit.” This thinking can come in the form of glamorizing their past usage, things that may have been exciting, dangerous, or peaceful. We tell “war stories” of our using, many times embellishing the fun while rarely speaking of the pain or destruction that has resulted. It is this obsession to use that must be dealt with, and that is what recovery is all about.
The process of recovery must first start with the cessation of all mood- and mind-altering chemicals. This is why many treatment facilities recommend a 28-day in-patient treatment program. The time away, in a safe environment, allows for many opportunities to dig into the root of the problem. Even in a person with the most sincere desire to stop using, doing so on their own is virtually impossible. The disease voice in our head is so much louder than the voice of reason, unless we have a program in place to counter it.
Being housed with other addicts in early recovery gives us the opportunity to face the reality that life truly had become unmanageable. We can easily see where our abuse has brought us. Most, if not all, people hit recovery facing financial ruin, relationship loss, unemployment, or possibly severe legal issues. It is rare, indeed, for the person who has none of the above issues to find themselves in treatment. This is why it is so important for friends and family to allow alcoholic or drug addict to suffer the consequences of their using. How is a person ever going to “hit bottom” when there is always a safety net in place for them when they fall?
The process of recovery for the co-dependent must start with the refusal to accept further abuse. This is delivered in a beautifully clear way in Conversations with God.
“As a practical matter—again leaving esoterics aside—if you look to what is best for you in these situations where you are being abused, at the very least what you will do is stop the abuse. And that will be good for both you and your abuser, for even an abuser is abused when his abuse is allowed to continue.”
We are not so different in the end, the addict and the co-dependent. We are each disempowering the other from experiencing our life to the fullest. We must all have faith that by doing right for our self, we are then doing what is best for everyone. We can no longer afford to keep up the facade that everything is fine. We must expose the darkness so that the light can shine though.
This is part 1 in a series on co-dependency and recovery. Next week we will look into why it is our fault and what we can do about it. Stay tuned!
(Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, Addictions recovery advisor. To connect with Kevin please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
With Colorado’s voters passing the historic Amendment 64, is this further proof that the country is going down the drain? Or have we just begun to realize that our power lies within the freedom to make our own choices?
Marijuana has long been considered the gateway drug, meaning that it leads to harder drugs and a life of crime and dereliction. This point has been argued by many, with little progress in proving or disproving its validity. I could, from my own experience, argue it either way. What I have realized on my own spiritual journey of recovery is that all choices lead us to a higher place, eventually.
The legalization of pot for adults over the age of 21 is vital to point out here. My first experience with pot was when I was 12 years old. I believe that for most people with addictive personalities the first experience with pot comes well before they are of legal age. What is not common knowledge is that an addictive personality exists long before the drug ever is introduced. The disease of addiction is a genetic condition passed down from generation to generation. I do not use the term “genetic defect” as some would because I do not believe it is a defect. In my case, it has been my greatest asset. God would not create a being with a defect, nor would the soul make a mistake.
Do I believe that the smoking of pot unleashed my craving to be high? No, I do not. My first drug was attention, the getting of people’s attention any way I could. I had the strongest desire to be the center of attention in my family from my earliest recollection, and if I didn’t succeed in doing so, I would quickly try another method of achieving my goal. Failing to achieve the attention only gave my addictive personality reason to act out, seeking louder and more brazen behaviors. By the time my first drug (cigarettes) entered the picture, I was merely nine years old. I first began using them to seek the approval of my peers, while at the same time unconsciously still looking to be noticed by my family. Negative attention is better than no attention in the mind of a person with addictive traits.
What happens now in these states that have decided to legalize marijuana? Do we care if someone drives high? How do we administer drug tests when accidents have occurred? Is there going to be a legal limit? What about contact highs? Although I do not fear the occasional smell of pot sending me spiraling back into the darkness of active addiction, it certainly wouldn’t be advised that any recovering addict be exposed high concentrations of secondhand pot smoke. It took going to one indoor concert to realize that was no place for me to be.
What about employers? Will they be cited for discrimination by not hiring someone or firing someone who openly smokes pot? How will society deal with the open use of marijuana? Imagine yourself sitting at the beach with your family and all of the sudden you are surrounded by a group of people who choose to get high. Do we want that as a society?
The list of issues that will need to be addressed will keep the lawmakers busy for quite some time. The personal effect cannot be determined until some time has passed to see what other consequences may pop up.
I do believe that pot use is less harmful than alcohol, and statistics certainly back that up. It is almost unconscionable that society makes legal alcohol consumption. The damage that alcohol costs society is mind-boggling and the personal destruction that can occur in families from drinking is beyond pandemic. Yet the past tells us that it is easier to accept the consequences rather than stand for what is in our best interest. Yes, denial is alive and well in the human species.
So let’s hear what you think about this. Take this time to be open about your thoughts and feelings regarding the legalization of drugs. Should they all be legal? Do we allow people to make choices that we see as unhealthy and let them learn from their mistakes? Does legislation make a difference?
Conversations with God states, “Obedience is not creation, and thus can never produce salvation.” It would seem obvious to me that this statement is proven to be true over and over throughout the course of history. What say you?
(Kevin McCormack is a “Conversations with God” Life Coach, a Spiritual Helper on www.changingchange.net, and an Addictions Recovery Advisor. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)
(This article was contributed by Guest Author Herby Bell, DC)
Substance and behavior abuse have reached epidemic proportions in our country. This, coupled with the emotional repression and stress associated with living in our outside-in consumer culture, has produced America’s number 1 health challenge: Addiction.
The cost of treatment, the repercussions on society and our family structures are devastating, not to mention the high number of ancillary deaths that are directly associated with the disease of addiction – from auto accidents to heart failure.
It is a well-known statistic that only 25% of those who seek addiction treatment have successful results. In other words, 75%, or 3 out of 4, of the individuals who do seek treatment for addiction fail and fall back into the seemingly endless revolving door of relapse-remission-relapse from this destructive brain disorder. The strongest implication is that the culture that fosters addiction, begets addiction.
In lieu of reinventing our culture, but in the spirit of re-visioning addiction treatment, it is time to try different approaches and combinations of approaches when it comes to addiction recovery.
Addiction is a mind-body-spirit disorder, as spelled out by the mainstream, American Medical Association’s, American Society of Addiction Medicine (http://www.asam.org/for-the-public/definition-of-addiction). It stands to reason that its treatment should include mind, body and spiritual modalities as an integrated, comprehensive approach.
The “target organ” for addiction is the brain (just as the pancreas is the target organ for diabetes) and specifically the meso-limbic or mid-brain. Historically, addiction treatment has focused upon healing the mind with brain treatment modalities like psychotherapy and drug therapy.
Since 1935, and while there are many other approaches, Alcoholics Anonymous has been the mainstay for the “spiritual” piece in the equation.
But in keeping with a more comprehensive approach, what about an integral modality that focuses attention on the physical body – mind-body-spirit? – equally, and as important as the mind and the spirit? Can the body contribute to healing the mind and the spirit?
After all, the body is truly an extension of the mind–an actual projected map of the brain–with remarkable knowledge, wisdom and inherent healing and recuperative capabilities from head to toe. Our bodies are veritable learning domains. Ever had a “gut feeling?” In fact, most of the receptor sites for many neurotransmitters–the “well-being” brain chemicals–are in the gut and not in the brain proper.
No wonder then, and who has not felt remarkably inspired and well, after exercising the body as it releases all of these inherent, feel-good chemicals? A neverending feedback loop from the brain to the body, and vice-versa, inform every fiber of our beings every moment we live.
Intervening at the level of the body through techniques that deliberately remove interference from this pristine system is unfortunately just what the present-day addiction doctor is not ordering. Chiropractic care is just such an indicated and effective approach and often a missing link in the addiction treatment community. Chiropractic helps ensure that a clear, uninterrupted signal is getting from the brain to all of the body parts and back to the brain again. And people who undergo chiropractic care are taught that without good lifestyle habits, including flexibility, strength and cardiovascular exercise, good nutrition and a psychological/spiritual practice–chiropractic care is incomplete and will be less effective.
Similarly, the same “missing piece” dynamic holds true for what’s missing in addiction treatment, and chiropractic care addresses the “body” piece of the mind-body-spirit equation effectively and seamlessly. Chiropractic is not a panacea but a time and cost-efficient, conservative, minimally invasive way to bridge this gap in addiction treatment.
The idea of wedding mind and body approaches to healing is not a new one. For centuries and long before the first traces of modern science, healing arts practitioners from the mainstream to the esoteric alike have acknowledged that the way people felt in their minds could influence the way they responded in their bodies–and vice-versa.
There is no separation of body and mind, and we are just coming to understand how profoundly and inextricably entwined these two parts of our being, along with spirit, interact in communion for our well-being.
Including chiropractic care in a comprehensive addiction treatment protocol, especially in the first 90 days of treatment, is important for the following reasons:
Providing human touch/compassion fostering neuroplasticity to help “re-write” dysfunctional brain circuitry
Removes interference from normal nerve function
Reduces anxiety and depression
Better sleep patterns
Decreases use of chemical pain relievers and psychiatric drugs
Greater sense of well-being
Increases energy levels
Decreases stress levels
Decreases joint and muscle pain
A mind-body-spirit approach to addiction is synergistic in action. In other words, the sum total is greater than its parts. As our health systems and institutions move from the compartmentalized, mechanistic approach of yesterday to the integrated, vitalistic, and holistic framework of today, let the mind-body-spirit approach of addiction medicine and treatment help blaze this new trail by incorporating in this endeavor the largest, drugless, hands-on healing profession in the world: chiropractic.
(Dr. Herby Bell is owner and director of Recovery Health Care, an integrated approach to addiction treatment in Redwood City, California. For more information, please email: herbybell@me.com)
Most people look at the addicted person and see a waste of life; others see lost potential. As for me, I see a person who is moments away from a spiritual awakening that can change not only their life, but possibly the world. Does this sound like and outrageous claim to you? Well, let me back it up.
Let’s go all the way back to the early 1930s. There you will find a man, a drunkard named Bill Wilson (later in life to become famously known as Bill W.) This man could not stop drinking, or if he could stop, it would not be for long. And each time he started again, his drinking became worse and worse. He was in and out of hospitals four times and was at the end of his rope. His family and friends were fed up with his antics. His drinking ruined his reputation at work, and it was known that he could not be relied upon. By all accounts, this man was the living example of a wasted life, sure to die a premature, painful, and lonely death.
Enter the unknown, the unforeseen, and the miracle, if you will. This is where the unexpected comes in to play and why, as humans, we should always hold the space for our reality to change and our consciousness to expand. Bill, the life long drunkard, found sobriety; he also found a way to keep it. According to Wilson, while lying in bed, depressed and despairing, he cried out, “I’ll do anything! Anything at all! If there be a God, let Him show Himself!” He then had the sensation of a bright light, a feeling of ecstasy, and a new serenity. He never drank again for the remainder of his life.
Does this story sound similar to anyone we know?
In finding his own sobriety, he also co-created the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, hence changing not only his life and the lives a few people around him, but actually changing the lives of millions around world. The 12 steps have long since been the most effective method for those suffering from “hard” addiction to achieve sobriety. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the 12 steps, many members have achieved a level of freedom that many without an addiction in their lives may never experience.
The Bill W. story is a glaring example of how, by eliminating a detrimental aspect of one’s life, you can then open up the space for something truly transformational to take place in the world. This is available to all of us, as we were all created in the image and likeness of God.
God does not reserve greatness for only a select few, and we all have had or will have opportunities presented in our lifetime to do great things. For me, I choose to seek the path that will enrich the lives of those who are presented to me. It would bring great joy to my life if what I have learned and experienced through the messages of Conversations with God and the 12 steps could be given to those to whom happiness, joy, and freedom have not frequented.
What gift could you bring to the world? And what would have to change in your life to make that happen? Are you ready to take those steps today? What is your greatness potential?
(Kevin McCormack is a Conversations with God Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, addictions & recovery advisor. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com.)
(Questions in the ADVICE column are answered by a team of life coaches who write for this online publication. Address questions to:Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
The accepted definition of “addiction” in the medical community is “continued use in spite of negative consequences.”
Now combine that with Conversations with God’s definition: We experience addiction when the absence of something in our life renders us unable to experience joy and happiness.
Let’s look at humanity’s addiction to our story.
What is “story”? Story is a tool the ego uses to protect the small us, the physical sense of who we are. An observation of mine is that most beings are living in a distorted reality as a result of our ego protecting what it has made up about what it imagines we are lacking. We then take that out into the world, either silently or quite loudly. Some of us sneak through life quietly, hoping to not be noticed due to our story that we are simply not good enough; others have to be the center of attention, the loudest person in the room, for fear that they, too, will be seen as insufficient. We all know the person who is always ready to knock someone else down in order to prop themselves up.
We have all heard someone tell stories like, “I would have gotten the promotion, but my boss doesn’t like people who are taller than him” or “Jane broke up with me because she didn’t like how I say what is on my mind” or “The cops had it in for me because I have tattoos.”
Is that person really higher up or more evolved than the rest of us, therefore deserving of their self-created pedestal? Is anyone greater or less than another? Are we addicted to our separation? Are our hang-ups holding us back from experiencing life in all its grandness?
Why is it that many of us tend to hide behind a story? A reason for why we act the way we act? Are we really just acting out our lives here in this grand illusion to protect ourselves from some unforeseen danger?
What makes some people rise above their story? What is your story and when will you change it or, at the very least, challenge it? What would it look like if you did this? What would the world look like if we all managed to get out from under our self- imposed prisons?
By now almost everyone has heard the saying “The truth will set you free,” yet not too many people are willing to tell the truth even to themselves. Does the truth hurt or does it truly open us to more freedom and joy?
(Kevin McCormack may be reached at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
