Conversations With God Life Coach
My husband’s employer is promoting him, which will require him to be transferred to another city across the country. Although both my husband and I are really excited about how this can kickstart his career, I’m torn. We are finally living back in our home state after fifteen years and I thought we would be here for the rest of our lives. I really love it here, but truthfully don’t have a lot going on with my work. How do I reconcile my love for my husband with my love for my home? Do I just blindly follow him? What about me and my soul’s purpose?… Angel
Dear Angel… Your timing in this question is perfect, because two out of the three advice columnists here are going through the same thing, myself being one of them. We aren’t moving because our husbands have been transferred, but the situations are otherwise very similar. In my case I have had to do some serious soul searching to see how I feel about my husband’s strong desire to move.
Neale says the two most important questions we can ask in our lives are these:
1. Where am I going? …and…
2. Who’s going with me?
He advises us to never reverse the order of the questions. In all three of our cases, our husbands were the ones who wanted to go first, leaving us with the question of whether or not to go with them. The reason to never reverse the order of the questions, of course, is this: We must each follow our own soul’s path. As indicated by your final question, you wisely already understand this.
In my case, having been blissfully happily married for 23 years, my first inclination was to follow the Biblical quote from the Book of Ruth, “Whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge…” because my relationship with my husband comes first and foremost in my life. I know at a very deep level that we are soul partners on this physical journey and we are huge help-mates to each other. So the question becomes, how to reconcile his path with my own?
Whenever I have confusion about anything in my life, Angel, I always go to the Source of all wisdom for answers. I have learned how to quickly access my soul’s higher knowing through my own personal conversations with God, knowing that even before I ask, the answers are already given. This is promised in many spiritual texts, and I have always found it to be true.
If you don’t know how to do this, I can tell you two very powerful ways that work for me. Both processes require you to get very clear what your question is, then write it down and have plenty of paper ready for whatever answers might come through. If you are used to meditating or praying and can effectively quiet your mind, this is a great way to receive answers. Simply write down your question, go deeply into your quiet space and be open to whatever comes through you. Write it down without censoring it, and if more questions come up, write them down also, then write whatever answers come. Allow the questions and answers to become a dialogue if that happens. Don’t fret, though, if this isn’t how it works for you. This is a skill I have honed, so the conversations come easily to me now, but when I first started, only a few sentences came through. Even if you don’t perceive anything when you first try this, please rest assured, if you live inside the question and continue doing the process, the answers will come. Practice makes perfect.
If you are not comfortable quieting your mind in meditation, or even if you are, another wonderful way to access your highest information is to write the question down before retiring at night. Thank God in advance for any answers that may come through, then in the morning reach for your notepad and write down anything that comes to mind, again without censoring it. You can always look later at what you wrote, to see if it feels right and true for you, and you get to decide what, if anything, to do about it.
Remember, as Conversations With God says, “There is nothing you have to do.” You are always at choice in every matter, even those that seem like they are backing you into a corner. Everything we do is by choice. I don’t buy it when someone says, “I had no choice,” because God has given us total free will. If you are an adult human being, you have the liberty to choose how to live your life.
All of us are three-part beings, made up of body, mind and soul. It may help you to know the purpose of each:
1. The function of the soul is to indicate its desires (not impose them).
2. The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
3. The function of the body is to act out that choice.
This is what Conversations With God calls the “Three Functions of Life”. Your job now is to find out what your soul’s desire is, decide if that’s what you want to do, then act out that choice.
Because, like you, I was torn about whether to move, I had my own conversation with God about it. The messages that came through made it very clear that this move is not only highest and best for my husband’s soul purpose, it is highest and best for mine as well. At one point, I simply wrote, “I surrender,” and this is the response I received. I hope it helps you too:
“That is good. Yes, surrender, but only and always with the knowing that I will never ask you to do something that doesn’t feel good to your soul. It may not always feel good to your mind, and that is because your mind doesn’t always understand all there is to know about something. When this happens, LIVE INSIDE THE QUESTION. Don’t be such a perfectionist that you have to know everything there is to know about a situation right now. Live inside the question. Allow yourself the luxury of being happy regardless, TRUSTING that I will not mis-lead you. I will not make mistakes on your behalf. I will only pave the most perfect way, if you will let me and not try to do it yourself.”
It went on to say, “Enlarge your vision… Get ready for a brand new lifestyle. Stay centered now more than ever as you make this transition… It’s time. It’s time. This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it!”
I, for one, Angel, always follow the guidance I receive. I listen to the wisdom of the Voice within me, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in my life. And most importantly, I trust it. I surrender to it because my soul knows much better than my mind what is highest and best for me. Those are two very powerful words:
“I surrender.”
I hope this helps, dear Angel. Your soul already knows what is highest and best for you. Our souls are the part of us that are always perfectly aligned with God, even when our minds aren’t, so please allow God’s information—Gods in formation—to come through you. If you choose to follow it, I promise you, it will never steer you wrong. I wish you the very best as you move into the next segment of your physical life journey, and trust that you already know what to do.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School.To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I remember from reading the CWG books that Neale mentions here and there the concepts of building and maintaining a conscious relationship. However, I was wondering whether there is any specific material out there that is solely focused on this topic. Blessings and joy to you…Annalisa
Dear Annalisa…Neale addressed a similar question in our Spiritual Mentoring Program call on Saturday by saying this:
“1. Need nothing. 2. Understand everything. 3. Love all.”
Please allow me to elaborate:
1. In a relationship if we Need nothing specific from the other, we can save ourselves a lot of grief. For example, I have found that with my family, sometimes we are pulled in different directions, each of us having our own agenda, especially around the holidays. Things run much more smoothly for me if I don’t attach myself to any particular plan—if I don’t Need anything in particular to happen—allowing Life to lead me where it will. This appeases everyone, so therefore, I am at peace as well!
2. Entire relationships, indeed, entire lives have been ruined by people who misunderstand the actions of another and hold grudges against them, rather than sitting down, talking things out, and arriving at mutual understanding about why they did what they did. When we Understand the reasons why others do what they do, forgiveness is automatic. Neale calls this “Forgiveness Forgone” because forgiveness is a foregone conclusion when we Understand the reasons people do things we might consider negative.
3. To Love all doesn’t mean “free love” in the 1960s sense, as the hit song from that era, “Love the One You’re With” recommended. Rather, it means, Love everything that shows up. Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is explains this beautifully. Another author, Rick Steves, who is my favorite travel writer, says, “If something isn’t to your liking, change your liking.” This is a very profound statement that takes on a much deeper meaning than simply what to do while traveling. If we learn to love Life exactly as it is showing up—if we can see the perfection in all of Life—then we live the path of least resistance. This is not to say we are not at choice in every moment. We are, and we’re always invited by Life to Choose Again… to re-create ourselves anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we held about Who We Are. Yet, to do this while living a life resisting nothing is to walk the path of the great Masters.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I am confused and hurt. I recently found out my boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with three different women. I thought that he was a very spiritual person because he teaches Chi kung, but this doesn’t sound like very spiritual behavior to me! … Jewel
Dear Jewel… Conversations With God Book 3 says that God is eternal, unlimited and free.
Conversations With God also says that we can substitute the word “Love” for “God”, so let’s do that with our previous statement. It would then read:
Love is eternal, unlimited and free.
Do you know that God is all there is and that your boyfriend is a part of God? When he is freely expressing unlimited love to others besides you, his girlfriend, he is actually acting from a very natural place. Our society calls it cheating, but in truth, the sexual behavior itself isn’t cheating, his dishonesty about it is.
Now, it is true that many of us, myself included, freely choose to be in a monogamous relationship, meaning a relationship with just one mate. However, many people feel that a monogamous relationship limits their freedom too much, and apparently your boyfriend is one of those people. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you or that he means to hurt you. He just cares more about following his natural inclinations.
I would gently suggest that it is your thought about his actions that is causing you pain. If you can allow yourself to understand why he is doing what he is doing and not take it personally, you can begin to alleviate your mental suffering.
I’m sorry if it hurts to hear this, Jewel, but if you want a monogamous relationship with a man, it may not be possible with your present boyfriend. It’s logical to conclude that if he has been with three other women already, his pattern of behavior will likely continue.
If you choose to move on from this relationship, please be very honest with him about why you are doing so. Speak your truth but soothe your words with peace.
Allow yourself time to grieve if you’re still feeling sad, and take stock of the aspects of this relationship that you don’t want to experience next time around. Then set your sights on what you do want.
Take some time to get really clear on the qualities you would like to have in a mate. Make a list of them and allow yourself to feel how great that kind of relationship would be. Then happily release it to the Universe, trusting that It is working to bring this wonderful new man into your life.
But please also know this, Jewel: You need no one outside of yourself to complete you. Because you are also a part of God, you are whole, complete and perfect just as you are. Do whatever it takes to be a happy and fulfilled person on your own. Then you will be so irresistible, you will automatically draw a wonderful mate to yourself!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I have been attending a spiritual center where they encourage us to do affirmative prayer treatment when we want something. In my experience, though, this doesn’t always seem to work. For example, when I was younger I owned a piano store. I prayed for its success, and I envisioned opening up more stores in the surrounding area. I knew where I wanted them to be and I really saw this in my mind’s eye, but my first store ended up going under and I had to give up my dream. I don’t understand. Does affirmative prayer work or not?… Sam
Dear Sam… That is a wonderful question and I’m so glad you asked it. This is an age-old query, “Why doesn’t God always answer my prayer?” The answer is, God does always answer every single prayer and God always says, “Yes!” One big reason we sometimes don’t experience it that way, though, is because of our Sponsoring Thoughts. God always grants us exactly what our deepest, most underlying belief is about what we’re asking for. If you re-examine what was going on in the back of your mind at the time, I believe you’ll find your answer as to why the piano store dream didn’t come to fruition for you. And, given the benefit of hindsight, I’d go so far as to bet that you’re glad now that it didn’t happen, yes?
This brings up another reason we don’t always experience what we pray for: Remember, we are made in the image and likeness of God. This means that like God, we are each three-part beings. (God is Father/Son/Holy Spirit or Physical/Non-Physical/Metaphysical and we are Mind/Body/Soul or Conscious/Sub-Conscious/Super-Conscious.) Like God, we create on all three levels. Do you believe that if it had been your Soul’s highest calling to be the owner of a chain of piano stores in this particular lifetime, that your Soul’s will could have been thwarted? I tell you, Sam, it could not have been, if your mind had been aligned with your Soul’s calling.
It might be helpful to remember that there is no such thing as time and space. Everything that is happening, is happening right here, right now in the only time/space there is. Therefore, all possibilities exist now and there are an infinite number of scenarios of your life. In one timeline, you own that chain of piano stores! In another timeline, you own just the first one. In another timeline… well, you get the picture. You see, Sam, life is like a giant CD-Rom game, where every possible scenario is already on the disc, and you get to choose how you want to play it. And, although your conscious mind wanted to play the “Sam owns a chain of piano stores” scenario, either your sub-conscious mind had contrary thoughts about it or it wasn’t your Soul’s highest and best expression to play it that way in this particular version of “Sam’s Game of Life”, which sent you down another timeline.
The mind always wants to know “why”, but the most important question we can ask is “what”? What now? What matters most now to the agenda of your Soul? What does your Soul yearn to express through you, as you, in this particular “Sam’s Game of Life”? When you get clear on what that is, and you consciously align yourself with it, there’s no stopping the miracles that will fall into place for you. Aligning is key here, for the physical manifestation of anything is based on the Law of Attraction. Just as the unseen Law of Gravity always works—everything will fall to Earth unless something is holding it back—the unseen Law of Attraction always works unless something in our consciousness or sub-consciousness is holding it back.
So look to see what lights you up now, Sam. What would you absolutely love to be and do now? And please don’t jump to conclusions that you can’t be or do it, because there is nothing that you cannot be or do. We are each unlimited aspects of God, and with God, all things are possible. We are only limited by our own thoughts, never by something outside of us. When you get really clear on what feels like pure joy to your Soul, then do your affirmative prayer treatment, knowing that it is God’s great pleasure to give you the kingdom.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I am getting married in August to the most wonderful guy I’ve ever known. My fiance and I both knew we had something very special from the first time we met, and our relationship is very strong and happy. We’re both excited about the prospect of spending the rest of our lives together, but I am a little nervous. My parents had a nasty divorce after twenty years. My father had an ongoing affair and lied about it, eventually marrying the other woman. I know he didn’t mean to hurt my mom, but I really don’t want that to happen to us! Does Conversations With God have any advice about how to make a relationship survive and thrive? Thank you for any help you can give me… Amy
Dear Amy… I’m so glad I received this letter from you. Although any of the three of us who write this column, Nova and Therese included, could have helped you because we all know the CWG material so well and are all happily married, I experienced the exact same scenario as you. And… my husband, Greg, and I are celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary this month!
I have actually started writing a book on this subject because it is so near and dear to my heart, but for now, here are some pointers to get you started. Since you asked specifically for advice from Conversations With God, I’m only including those. Hope it helps, and congratulations!
Place no requirements on each other. Make only requests.
Freedom is the essence of who we are and the fastest way to get someone to leave the space is to limit their freedom with requirements. When Greg and I got married, I told him I only had one request of him: That if he ever fell in love with someone else, he would be honest with me about it. I told him I understand that these things happen and although it would hurt me very much, it would hurt even worse if he were not honest about it. 23 years later, that is still my only request of him. The truth can hurt, but falsehood hurts even more. Even more importantly, the truth heals.
Speak your truth as soon as you know it, but soothe your words with peace and loving kindness.
Don’t hold things in. Give your partner the freedom of a loving space in which to share everything, both what’s working and what’s not working for them. I believe in total openness in relationships because if we keep things from each other the relationship becomes dysfunctional. I learned this the hard way with a dear friend of mine, trying to protect her feelings by keeping stuff in until I blew up, which ended up hurting her far worse. It’s much better to just come on out and say it if something is bothering us.
When we keep our partner in the dark about matters large or small, we put a crack in the relationship. When we continue to withhold information about things that bother us, the crack becomes a chasm that can eventually break the relationship in two.
Drop your expectations.
Life = Change = Growth. Go with the flow. Know that things wouldn’t be happening the way they are if it weren’t for your greatest good—even when it doesn’t look like that right now.
Where am I going and who’s going with me?
Never reverse the order of these two questions. This may come as a shock, but put yourself first. Even though it may sound selfish, following the path of our own soul is actually the kindest thing we can do for another. When we follow our partner’s path instead, resentment can build, and when we’re not happy, the relationship cannot thrive.
The magic happens when the two of you marry your paths together in such a way that both of you are following your individual soul’s journeys together. This requires clarity, communication and commitment, and it is a beautiful thing when it works. The whole of the two of you is greater than the sum of its parts. Life gets exponentially better and better!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
Dear readers: Today’s advice question comes from one of my students in the CWG Online School, who has recently decided and declared his life calling is to be a “good Samaritan.” When I read his response to one of our homework questions, I knew I wanted to share it with all of you in the hopes that you will gain from his experience:
As I was leaving a take-away shop with my dinner recently, I passed a guy who was just sitting on the sidewalk with no shirt on, an unkempt look, a bottle of beer, and a shopping bag which seemed to have all his possessions in it. As I walked past he says “Hey old mate.” I chose to ignore him, thinking, “I do not need this hassle or want to deal with this at the moment. I just want to get home, I’m exhausted.” And I then let fear take over. He says again, “Hey old mate,” but louder this time. I chose to ignore him again and kept walking. Again he says “Hey old mate,” and his voice is quite loud. This then got the better of me and I snapped at him and said quite loud myself, “Are you right? What’s Up?” He then looked at me and slowly turned his head away and looked towards the ground – and I just got in the car and drove away, feeling angry and also like a heel. Then I beat myself up a bit and thought of a thousand different ways I could have handled this differently. I could have acknowledged him at least. Maybe he was down on his luck and just hungry and I could have bought him a $9 meal from the take away shop, as I had the money. And not let fear take over. Maybe he might have only wanted to know what time it was, etc. So this was a real eye opener for me to see that I have a long way to go in having the right attitude and how I perceive others and how I might respond in unusual situations. I am feeling a little lost at the moment… Ben
Oh, Ben, don’t you see the perfect irony in this “chance encounter”? If not, please let me show you how it looks from my perspective:
1. You decide and declare Who You Really Are, which is a good Samaritan.
2. You meet someone on the street who, in the past, would have frightened you, simply by his appearance—unkempt, drinking beer, apparently homeless.
3. You forget your decision to be a good Samaritan and you do the exact opposite, reacting as you would have in the past, rather than creating as you would like to from now on, when faced with this type of situation.
4. He looks you in the eye, then slowly looks away as if to say, “You forgot, Ben, to be a good Samaritan. Here I am giving you the perfect opportunity to fulfill exactly what it is you say you are, and you forgot.”
5. You, of course, feel terrible because your actions were out of alignment with your new decision about yourself.
Please, please forgive yourself for forgetting, dear sweet Ben. We all forget… until we don’t anymore. And remember this encounter, always. Then the next time something like this happens, you will choose differently, thus allowing yourself to feel really good about remembering, then acting on, your decision to be a good Samaritan.
Do you know what the definition of “sin” is? It’s missing the mark. Whose mark? Our own! When we commit a sin, we’ve fallen short of who we say we are, knowing we could have done better. Now, “go and sin no more,” dear Bob. You are growing into higher and higher states of awareness, and these growing pains are all part of the process. This is Life, giving you the right and perfect opportunities for you to step into your next grandest version of the greatest vision you ever held about Who You Are.
This was a perfect life lesson for you. And now, the “Moral of the Story”:
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I’ve been spending a lot of time with a psychic friend who foresees many frightening things about the future. He has told me about previous things he predicted that came to pass, so I know he is the “real deal”. The worst thing he sees is the earth tilting on its axis, causing widespread global calamity and some countries disappearing into the sea. I feel we must get the word out, to warn people. Can you help?… Michael
Dear Michael… I’m sure this must be very frightening for you, hearing all of these scary predictions from a psychic who seems to have great insight. I want you to realize, though, that you have great insight of your own, and this information didn’t come from there. It came from a source outside of you.
Also, as Conversations With God tells us repeatedly, what we fear, we attract. My advice to you is the same advice heard throughout the ages: “Fear Not”. When we feel fear, that bad-feeling emotion is a signal that we have moved out of alignment with our Source and what is true.
You need to realize that anything psychics predict is not written in stone, and the reason for this is that we are each powerful creators of our own reality. Life is like a giant CD-Rom game in which all possible scenarios already exist, and your psychic friend is simply tapping into one of those possibilities. The great news is, you get to decide how you want to play your own life game, and you do so through your thoughts and feelings. Fear is one of the strongest attracting feelings and when you continually think about what you’re afraid of, you draw that very thing to you like a magnet.
So again, Fear Not, dear Michael. Rather, decide and declare this: “I intend and expect to see what I want in my life”, then know that even before you ask, it has been given. It would take a lot of people fearing that doomsday scenario to co-create it and make it happen in physicality. In one timeline it is a possibility, but is it one you would choose? I certainly wouldn’t!
There are many doomsdayers around and there always have been. Remember the people who said all of our global systems would collapse when we moved into the new millennium? None of that happened. And about your psychic friend’s predictions that he says came true: As long as I can remember there have been people who have attempted to match current events with prophecies. People today still try to do that with Nostradamus’ writings or the Bible’s Book of Revelation. There was an author named Hal Lindsey who was a best-selling author in the 1970s (The Late Great Planet Earth) who had people running scared to death, matching up current events with Revelation. These gloom and doom writers mean well, but time and time again, they are made to look foolish as the horrific events they predict just don’t come to pass.
So, Michael, I would advise you to take your focus off of your friend’s words and allow plenty of time to listen to the wisdom of the voice within you, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in your life. At the very beginning of CWG Book One Neale asked how we can tell if the messages we’re receiving come from God. God answered with these words:
“Mine is always your Highest Thought, your Clearest Word, and your Grandest Feeling. The Highest Thought is that Thought which contains Love, the Clearest Word is that Word which contains Truth, and the Grandest Feeling is that Feeling which contains Joy. Love, Truth, Joy. Anything else is from another source.”
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Well, I turn 50 today. March 6, 1963, sure doesn’t seem like that long ago! And it certainly doesn’t seem possible that I have spent 50 years in this body. It doesn’t feel 50, it doesn’t think 50, and, wink-wink, I am sure you will all agree that it doesn’t look 50! But the math doesn’t lie, and so today I celebrate my 50th year in this physical form. I have been reflecting a lot these past few months as this day approached. You know, if you read my column, that it has been an especially challenging time for me personally. It has also been a time of great growth and, as hard as this was to see, a time of great change…that is, change that I now see as change for the better.
Change is always for the better, whether or not you can see it in the moment. Once again, that has become true for me. Part of the reason it was hard for me to see was because it was unwanted and unexpected change. But even that, maybe especially because of that, the changes that have happened in my life have created the conditions for me to step into a larger and grander version of myself. While it hasn’t been easy, I spent the last half of last year using all of the tools (and I do mean ALL of them) that I have gathered since I began looking for deeper meaning and understanding of this thing called life. The best news is, they worked! And that has presented me its own Birthday gift.
Having wisdom and using your wisdom are two different experiences. Knowing how to move through challenging times does not guarantee that you will use your knowledge during those challenging times. Knowing vs. using knowledge have two very different outcomes. I am clear that I would not be writing to you this very day without the latter.
So many gifts have been made available to me as a result of all that has happened. I am happy to say I chose to use the same tools I would offer anyone moving through challenging times. Like for example, I didn’t go it alone. Instead, I chose to ask for help. I didn’t reject my feelings, but rather I embraced them even though they were very painful. I didn’t stuff my emotions with any kind of addictive substances or behaviors, but rather expressed them when they came up. I didn’t hide from the truth, but rather faced it and eventually accepted it, because not to do so was more painful. All of these things, and more, were the pieces of wisdom that I have gathered along the way, moving through other tough times, gathering strength and courage to face the next. Perhaps the greatest gift was the knowing that no matter what, I would be all right. Even though I didn’t feel it, I somehow knew that it would all work out. Even though my life as I knew it was falling apart before my eyes, I also knew that I could pick up the pieces that I really wanted to keep and let the others fall away with grace.
Yes, the last many months have been challenging and wonderful all at the same time. I experienced what the book “Happier Than God” offers, that happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive; that is to say, it is possible to be happy and sad at the same time. Contemplate that for a moment. Consider it for a while. The implications of this statement could change everything for you. Think of a time when you may have experienced being happy to be sad. I am experiencing it right now. I am happy that I am sad about the losses I am moving through. It speaks deeply of who I am and who I am choosing to be. This experience has made it clear to me that I love deeply, and that when the loss of a loved one occurs, the experience I feel is a direct reflection of who I really am…love. And I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.
A new day has dawned in my life, or perhaps it has just dawned on me that all I have been through has prepared me well for the new life now presenting itself. I am not only ready for the new challenges that I face, but I am excited to “Carpe Diem,” or “seize the day”!
I have been presented with so many opportunities that I am grateful for. Gratitude is a powerful part of the recipe for transforming any experience, especially ones we might perceive as negative. All painful experience comes from a point of view or thought that “this shouldn’t be happening right now.” When you argue with reality, reality wins. The opposite possibility is, of course ,“this should be happening right now,” especially because it is. Accepting reality doesn’t mean you give up the ability to respond to it. Who you choose to be in relationship to the events in your life will create your experience and reality of them. So if it sucks right now, look in the mirror and ask, “How is this response working out for me?” If it sucks, would you be willing to change your mind, point of view, or perspective? Would you be willing to consider the possibility that more will be revealed? The revealing will change everything, including how you hold this experience currently. I hope you will, for that willingness and decision to do so will set you on a path to peace.
I am grateful to say that I am at peace today. I am grateful for all that has happened to me in my 50 years here. I look forward to what I will co-create with the universe in the next 50…and beyond. I am excited about the opportunities that have presented themselves to me as the space has become available for these new things to arrive. I understand now that only when there is space available can the new opportunities become realized. I can now accept these new things in my life because I have accepted the reality of what was and have done my part to create a reality of peace, rather than pain, in relationship to all of it.
Pain is mandatory only because it is instructive. Pain shows you the paths in life that do not work for you. Pain is the opposite of truth. It didn’t say “know the truth, it will cause you pain!” No. Truth sets you free! Pain presents the opportunity to see the truth in its opposite form. All I had to do was turn it around and move in the other direction.
There are only two choices in any moment and only two possible outcomes from those two choices. Both are instructive if you only pay attention. One is a path to peace and the other is a path of pain. The choice is always yours which path you take. When you find yourself on a path of pain, turn around, go the opposite direction, make a change in course. Pain is God and Life attempting to show you that you are going the wrong way.
It reminds me of my favorite scene from “Planes Trains and Automobiles” when the two unlikely travelers (John Candy and Steve Martin) end up unknowingly driving down the wrong side of the interstate. A panicked couple on the other side are yelling at the two, “YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY!” which, just before the predictable disaster strikes, our two sarcastically say, “How would they know where we are going?” Don’t ignore your pain! Life sends you the signs if you are going the wrong way, and pain is one of its greatest tools.
I am happy to say I am not in pain on this day, my Birthday, and that I am paying attention to the signs. I hope you are, too! I hope you are feeling the joy that is you today, for if you are alive and reading this, you have much to be happy and grateful for. We all do. If not, consider reaching out. That is why I am here.
Finally, I would like to share one of the best Birthday gifts I have received this week. It came in the form of an opportunity to share my experience, strength, and hope with another. My work is one of my greatest joys in life, and it certainly is what I came here to be and do this time around. Over the years of counseling and coaching, I have received many of these kinds of expressions, which have always far outweighed any amount of financial compensation I might receive. All have touched me deeply, causing me to clearly know that what I am up to is exactly what I was meant to come here and do. I am grateful every day I get to be there for another. And when they find the answers within that change everything, well, there are no words.
Here was a recent note posted on the website built especially for the book “When Everything Changes Change Everything” (www.changingchange.com):
“I reached out to the Changing Change network 2 days ago trying to connect with someone who could help me understand some of the things that I am going through in life right now. I was taking Neale’s advice in When Everything Changes Change Everything to “change my decision to ‘go it alone’”. I sent an email requesting info and just a few hours later I got a reply directly from JR Westen, the lead Coach on the Changing Change site, as well as on Neale Donald Waslch’s site, and the Director of the Conversations with God Foundation. He suggested that I call his office and schedule a free consultation with him to try to find a solution to the challenges I am facing. In his email, he wrote, “I have yet to meet a problem that did not come with a solution and a gift.” So, I scheduled the consult anxious to find out what he would think the “gift” is in my situation.
The next day JR called me at the scheduled time and at first I was a bit apprehensive about telling my story to a complete stranger but before long I realized for sure that he was not going to judge me but was there to listen and help me see some things that I was missing. I am the type who seldom discusses her problems with others but I felt extremely comfortable opening up. I felt like I was talking to a friend. He really gave me some much needed insight and helped me to look at the issues from a healing point of view. In fact, before my conversation with JR, I felt that I was experiencing what could very well have been the worst day of my life; after the conversation, I could not remember that feeling and I was able to have a great day.
I will continue to connect with the Changing Change Network and use the opportunity for coaching whenever I need an impartial nonjudgmental look at my situation to help me see my way through. He understood that I cannot afford to pay the consultation fee right now and is still willing to work with me.
I am writing this post to share my experience so that all of you out there who are going through adversity and want to connect for life coaching or grief counseling or whatever will not be afraid to reach out to the coaches at Changing Change. This is one of the most powerful services offered here, take advantage of it.
Much Love…”
These are the kinds of Birthday gifts I really love and appreciate. This is why I am so excited, especially about what my life is presenting me right now. This day was made possible by the pain of yesterday and the inevitable growth and healing it birthed. I am reborn this day anew and full of gratitude. Not a bad 50th Birthday gift! No, not bad at all…
(J.R. Westen, D.D., C.A.d, is a Holistic Health & Spiritual Counselor who has worked and presented side-by-side with Neale Donald Walsch for over a decade. He is passionate about helping individuals move beyond their emotional and spiritual challenges, transforming breakdowns into breakthroughs. His counseling and coaching provides practical wisdom and guidance that can be immediately incorporated to shift one’s experience of life.
As is true for most impactful teachers, J.R.’s own struggles and triumphs inspired him to find powerful ways of helping others. Sober since June 1, 1986, J.R.’s passion for helping individuals move through intense life challenges drove him to also specialize in Addiction and Grief Recovery.
J.R. currently shares his gift of counseling & coaching with individuals from around the world through the Wellness Center, Simply Vibrant, located on Long Island N.Y. In addition, he operates “Change House” a place where people come to transform. He also works with Escondido Sobering Services and now serves as the Director for the Conversations with God Foundation. He can be contacted at JR@CWG.ORG or JR@theglobalconversation.com, or to book an appointment, write support@simplyvibrant.com.)
My husband truly loves me, and I him, yet he rains on my parade sometimes and it cuts me to the quick. I can be in such a happy place and he says something that just slays me. I should tell you that I love CWG and am doing several of the Advanced Programs, but he can’t really “go there” with me. He sort of half-tries, but doesn’t follow through. He’s not one to show his emotions but I think he might be a little afraid when I step out on a limb without him. Although he is quite conservative, he isn’t religious, so he’s not afraid I’ll go to hell or anything like that. Maybe he’s just threatened? How can I stay in my joy when he says things that bring me down?… Nancy
Dear Nancy… Oh, have I seen this before and I feel great empathy for you, knowing this is a huge Soul issue. Although it isn’t easy for some men to open up emotionally, I am a firm believer in completely open and honest dialogue. Even if he has a hard time talking about his feelings, is he a good listener? Have you tried having a sweet, loving, heart-to-heart talk with him about how you feel?
Having been happily married for 22 years some thoughts come to mind:
1. Whenever my hubby, Greg, and I have been at odds about something it’s helped us to remember, We’re on the same team. We are not adversaries, we are team-mates!
2. We share everything… or at least I do! I am a completely open book and there’s nothing I won’t tell him. If there is something that might be potentially hurtful I make doubly sure to say it with great love.
3. I should tell you that I used to embarrass Greg by my happy-go-lucky nature. He was also quite conservative and reserved, but I, like my Dad, never met a stranger, so am very outgoing. I’ll just talk with anybody and everybody and it’s always felt very natural to me. Greg wasn’t like that at all, and really didn’t know how to take me and would say things that hurt me, although he loved me very much. When I ask him now how he got over it, he’s not really sure, but says he realized that people gravitate towards me and that was more interesting than just being with boring people! Maybe over time he realized that there is nothing to be afraid of, by my being happy and outgoing. I certainly wasn’t flirting with other men or anything. I was just enjoying life and all it has to offer.
And that brings up perhaps the most important point: What is your husband afraid of? Does he think he’ll lose you if you go down the spiritual path alone? If you are firm in your conviction to stay committed to your marriage regardless of whether he “goes there” with you, then you need to tell him that in clear, loving language so that he really gets it. I recommend a little getaway in a romantic place for a few days where you can just focus on each other without all the distractions of home. Just doing this important talk over dinner out someplace, then going back home, isn’t enough, in my opinion.
Go somewhere for several days and home in on why you fell in love and got married in the first place. Focus on each other’s positive aspects, not any perceived negative ones. Come back together and re-commit to sharing your lives in the most positive way possible. When the moment feels right, hold his hand, look deeply into his eyes and share very briefly that it feels bad when he rains on your parade. Say it in a sentence or two but don’t dwell on it. Immediately tell him, “I know you don’t mean to hurt me, so I just wanted you to know I’ll feel a lot better if you don’t do that anymore.” Then smile and tell him, “I love you.” Those three little words have the power to change everything.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Dear Readers,
Today’s column is a bit unique in that I’m posting synopses of a series of emails between a personal friend and myself. I thought our exchange would have more impact than if I distilled it into a traditional advice column Q&A. “Yolanda” is a beautiful young Positive Music singer-songwriter here in Nashville who has been a vegan for many years. When she informed me of her decision to have a hysterectomy earlier this year I was shocked because it just didn’t seem like her style. She said she was at peace with the decision, though, having done some deep spiritual work around it. The conversation starts a few weeks later…
A: How are you feeling? 100% yet?
Y: Well, the pathology revealed early cancer. I know I made the right decision to have the hysterectomy! I see a GYN oncologist tomorrow, but I remain confident that the cancer is all out of my body. I am receiving the healing thoughts of so many amazing people, I have no choice but to be perfectly healthy! I really do feel better and better every day. Got back onstage for the first time Saturday and it was wonderful. 🙂
A: Wow, Yolanda, thank God you listened to your Inner Voice. Would you like for me to teach you how to have your own Conversations With God so you’ll always have access to your Soul’s higher guidance? It works miracles in Greg’s and my lives.
Y: Yes, please! 🙂
A: For now, I want you to do Neale’s video version of the “How To Have Your Own Conversation With God” process online. I taught this process at the Music City Center for Spiritual Living a couple of weeks ago and won’t be doing it again in town for awhile and don’t want you to have to wait.
1. Go to: www.cwg.tv
2. Click on “SUBSCRIBE NOW” at the top of the page. They have a “pay as you can plan” so that anyone can have access to it, regardless of their financial situation.
3. Go back to cwg.tv and log in with your user name and password.
4. Click on the “Special Programs” tab.
5. Select the top option: “Have your own Conversation With God”.
One other thing I want you to do: listen to my song “Thankful Offering” every day for six months, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to feel the deep-seated truth of your health and healing. Being grateful now brings you more to be grateful for. That’s why prayers of gratitude are the most powerfully creative.
Y: I haven’t had a chance to look at this yet, but thank you SO MUCH, Annie. I went to a GYN oncologist yesterday and she wants to go back in and take my ovaries, even though there is no actual proof that there is cancer there. As you can imagine, I am extremely reluctant to do this, but I have a lot to consider. I believe that my body is free of cancer at this time, but what if I’m wrong? It’s a huge decision and I have a lot of searching to do, both literally and spiritually.
A: Thank you for sharing this with me, Yolanda. Your Soul knows what is best here, so that is the perfect question to ask in a conversation with God: “What is highest and best for me regarding having my ovaries removed?” Be ready to write down whatever comes through and don’t censor it! A CWG is simply accessing the knowledge of the Universe via your Soul.
What is the reason they want to remove your healthy ovaries? Is it because you don’t want to do chemo?
I am here for you through any and all of this you want me to be. I adore you, Yolanda, and want to help in any way that might feel right for you.
Y: Well, the cancer they found in my uterus hasn’t been staged yet. The oncologist hasn’t even viewed the slide yet, but she will do so with her colleagues on Tuesday. There is a chance that it spread before they got the uterus out, so she wants to cover all bases. I really don’t care to have another surgery and I was THRILLED that I got to keep my ovaries after the first one. We didn’t know there was cancer present until after the surgery was done, which is why I was referred to a specialist.
I’m not convinced I should have to go into early menopause and go under the knife again just because we’re not sure. Hence the reason I need to do some soul-searching and a lot of research before I make any decisions.
A: One message I got in a CWG the other day was this, and I thought it was so profound, I printed it out and put it up on my fridge:
Listen to your own songs.
Read your own writing.
Follow your own advice.
If you did that with your song, “Love All”, what would that look like? Could you love the situation you are in now, knowing it could only be happening for your greater growth and good? Could you love the cancer that was in your body? Could you love any cancerous cells that might be there now? Could you communicate love to them, thank them, then invite them to return to the Oneness from whence they came, letting them know they have served their purpose in your life?
Not easy questions, and certainly not easy assignments, yet they may be in your highest and best interest to work toward…
Y: Mmmmm. Thank you.
A: Does that sound crazy or does it make sense? It felt kind of inspired coming out so I didn’t second guess it…
Y: Totally makes sense to me. Thank you for not censoring!
A: May I have your permission to post our email conversation as my weekly advice column in Neale’s online newspaper? Who knows who all it might help.
Y: You have my permission. 🙂 Thank you, again.
CT scan looks good, so yay! I’m breaking up with cancer. I learned a lot from it, but now it’s time we parted ways. 🙂
A: WOOHOO!!!!!!! Yes, as in all good break-ups, send it lovingly on its way…
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
