Somebody Asked Me
Dear Therese,
Georgia here again. So what about the current state of affairs in this world? It is obvious, to me at least, that we are being lied to by so many that we have trusted to tell us the truth.
Take, for example, our weather patterns these days. Cloud formations that used to be rare are common place now. There is increasing evidence that the clouds are being chemically created. This brings us to two points. Barium and aluminum are being dropped on us something like 5000 times the norm. Just like gmo food, they are using us as guinea pigs to see the side effects. AND they are using the force of nature to the advantage of big business and government. I think they are purposely using these things to keep us scared and controlled. They are not using these things for the “good”. I think you would think long and hard about the effects of these chemicals if one of your kids was messed up in the head and the other other one couldn’t breathe bc of possibly being those guinea pigs.
We have the capability to manipulate something as big as the weather and it would be awesome. But now is no time to lay down and volunteer but a time to demand that we have a right to know what is being dumped on us. Because we lay down and take it, we are condoning to the “elites” that humanity has no value.
How are we to think of these things as spiritual opportunities??
Georgia
Wow! Georgia, I like that you are asking these questions! Putting the everyday reality into a spiritual perspective is sometimes very hard…almost impossible sometimes. Okay, I’ll give a spiritual explanation and some perspective on these things a shot here.
My thoughts: man can do just about anything. We can create and engineer even human life. Many think this to be a sin. Only God’s territory. As you know, I think we are all “gods”. (As CWG puts it, individuations of Divinity.) Engineering life, or engineering clouds, it isn’t about doing these things, but for what purpose they are being done. This, then, becomes a matter of individual and collective choice. Do I have a problem with engineered clouds being used to create water in a drought area? Or to recapture wasted water to refill the aquifers? No. Do I have a problem using them to cause destruction to profit big business and control the people? You betcha. So, personal and collective awareness is, as usual, the key (opportunity) to changing how we use our power…and that changes as we begin to view humanity as One. Realizing the butterfly effect is real. In Christian terms…what you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me.
I would also urge you to keep open the possibility that at least some of these cloud/weather changes may be circumstantial, as opposed to insidious. Be very careful to avoid being sucked into the story of the way things are, and stay as much as possible in observing the facts (as you know them) of what you see.
Which actually takes me to the esoteric question of “why not”? If this life is but a continuation of life, and we really, as CWG states, have no life to lose, why not consciously agree to be the guinea pig to further the course of humanity? Why not volunteer?
Ahhh, there’s the key! We are NOT volunteering right now! But what if we were, for real, given that choice? Might that not change some things? Might life look more like an opportunity than it does now? What if we were told up front that there was going to be a section of this planet used to experiment on long term human effects?
Older people might volunteer to live in “chem zones” to give their children’s children a better life. Especially since much of the world is starving due to lack of rain for crops. We are sacrificing ourselves for far less noble things already.
Don’t mistake, please, that I think it is okay to be doing what they are doing, in the way they are currently doing things. Transparency…choice…is the key.
There is abundant room for changing how we look at life…and that’s exactly what this site is all about!
One more thought… An unfortunate statement about humankind is that sometimes the masses are so meek and compliant that it takes a “madman” to step out of the box…a person (or group of persons) who dares to even think something is possible! Now we sane, but outside the box thinkers, Spiritual thinkers, have (the opportunity) to either keep the madmen in check, show the madmen a better way (who he/she really is) or empower the masses. Or at least begin to en-mass allow the sane, outside the box thinkers/doers to not be reviled. Currently people are afraid of being relegated to the fringe of their families/societies/religion if they don’t stay inside those boxes. Portrayed as unpatriotic, heretics, crazy and or conspiracists. Make sure to look at your own views of others, and not disempower.
Georgia, in our search for a better way of living, we do have to be very alert to not falling into yet another power grab agenda masked in altruism. (Opportunities to Be discerning, careful, vigilant?) We must be careful of anyone who wants us to be fearful vs merely aware. I get the feeling that there are many agendas in play here, and many are proclaiming themselves to be the one and only “right” one. All of which means, to me, that we have to be “cafeteria Catholics” and pick what works from each, and figure out what is truly for the greater good…and create our world consciously from this point forward. Knowing that what works now most likely won’t entirely work, oh, two thousand years from now! We must now work the idea of change into our long term thoughts. The opportunity to create our own agenda…not all agendas are self serving and malevolent. We can include the thoughts of others and other ways.
On the subject of religion, and government, it is encouraging to see even the Pope and Rev. Pat Robertson changing their minds about homosexuality on even a minor level. The United States has made major attitude and legal changes in this area. This may seem off topic, Georgia, but it is all wrapped up in control…the ultimate control…of sexuality, and specifically the feminine energy….feminine energy and attempts to suppress it. Just look at television commercials geared for girls and toys for them. Absolutely ridiculous that still, in 2013, all the girl toys are make-up, hair playing with dolls, dolls to teach them how to be a mommy, brat dolls that are nothing but materialistic, fashion creating websites, jewelry making, hair extensions and color. Whereas the boys toys are geared around imagination and engineering!! We are “Madison Avenue-ed” into our roles from an early age. Warriors that are used to protect money and the status quo are called heroes and idolized. A woman who questions that status quo is a B word or worse…never spiritual, intuitive, peace-maker. The divine feminine is Mother, but not in the way it is currently portrayed. These times are giving us, I believe, our opportunity to create balance.
Georgia, the bottom line of what I am saying is that we do have control. We have control of how we think and feel about this world we live in. We can fall into the chaotic energies swirling about, or we can keep the perspective that we are the butterfly that can effect our world. We can become a conscious part of the collective, and influence that collective. We are being given many opportunities to choose how change happens. I believe we, as individuals, through our thoughts and actions, can not help but influence the direction of humanity.
Rudyard Kipling said it perfectly. (I know, I know, this post is getting really long, but I think it is an important topic!)
If—
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website atwww.ChangingChange.net . She may be contacted at: Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I have a dear friend who, I am discovering, doesn’t keep her word. She says she will do things, but then, if something better comes along, she changes her mind. I have noticed that she does this with new jobs. She gets all excited about them, says they are perfect for her, then within a few months something happens that she doesn’t like and she quits. With me, most recently she offered to house sit and take care of my cats for a week, then after a couple of nights, she changed her mind and never came back. She got a neighbor to cover for her and didn’t tell me about it until several days afterward. Had she bothered to even send me a quick text, I would have told her I preferred to use my regular cat-caretaker, who I had already paid before my friend offered to stay at my house. I’m noticing a pattern here because I know of another woman who was unhappy with her for the very same reason. She makes sure the cats are okay, but doesn’t stay there as she says she will. I am familiar with the old saying that it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, but is it okay to do so over and over again with no seeming regard of how it affects others? I don’t know whether to call her on this or to just keep my mouth shut about it. Can you offer any advice? … Sandy
Dear Sandy… I learned a very valuable lesson from my father rather early in life. I had signed a three month contract to do piano bars in Sweden one winter. When I got there I hated it. It was dark and cold and I found the people quite unfriendly, and after two weeks I decided I wanted to come home. I called my dad and told him, and he asked me an all-important question: “Did you sign a contract?” I admitted that I had, and he said, “I think you should honor your agreement.” I realized he was right, and, Sandy, by doing that, I changed the course of my entire life! So many wonderful things wouldn’t have happened had I not stuck it out, and the next month they moved me to a different city and I loved it!
There is something profoundly important about keeping one’s word. It not only lets others know our character, it allows us to express ourselves in the highest and best way possible. For that reason, it is of the utmost importance to think things through as much as possible, and to listen to our feelings and guidance before declaring that we will do something. If we give our word that we will do something, I think that unless situations really dictate otherwise, we keep it, even when the going gets rough.
One of Don Miguel Ruiz’ “Four Agreements” that I try hard to live by is, “Be impeccable with your word.” And Conversations With God says that we create on three levels: Thought, Word and Action. There is great power behind speaking our word. It tells the Universe what our intentions for creation are, and it helps things start falling into place to make that happen. When we continually change our minds, we confuse the Universe about what we choose to call forth. Therefore, being impeccable with our word is not only important in our relationships with each other, it is important in our relationship with God. When we clearly tell God what we intend to do, we consciously co-create with It.
Now, your question of whether or not to say something to your friend is one that, I’m afraid, you are going to have to decide for yourself. I know that confrontations are difficult for many people, including me. You might want to remember the “Five Levels of Truth Telling” from CWG:
1. Tell your truth to yourself about yourself.
2. Tell your truth to yourself about another.
3. Tell your truth about yourself to another.
4. Tell your truth about another to that other.
5. The your truth to everyone about everything.
You have already taken Steps 1 and 2. Now your decision is whether to implement Steps 3 and 4. Remember, what’s going on with your friend is only your truth about the situation. There are always two sides to every story. Do you know why she changed her mind in this particular instance? Were there extenuating circumstances that prevented her from being able to keep her word?
The ultimate goal in truth-telling is to clear the air of any negativity and end up in a better place than you were before. It is never to assign blame or judgment on another. The possibility does exist, however, that in telling your truth to your friend, you will cause her think twice before not following through with her word in the future. This could serve to be a boon to her in future agreements, not unlike my decision to stick it out in Sweden in that dark, cold winter so long ago.
If you find you just don’t have the courage to come right out and talk with her about it, perhaps this Advice column could suffice…
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School.To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
Last year there were many changes in my life. My husband and I went into bankruptcy. My marriage ended against my will, I left my husband after 20 years together still loving him. I returned to my parents’ house in another continent, where living conditions have nothing to do with Europe. One of my daughters went to heaven. All I’m assimilating the best I can, knowing that everything was produced by me. But I want to know what my daughter in heaven thinks or feels about me. Was it necessary to live all that pain? How I can make my life from now on one not through pain? Please explain what I did wrong and how to correct. My two children that I still have with me need and deserve a good mother, to accompany this process in the best possible way.
~ Maria
Maria,
Thank you for reaching out. I am very sorry to hear of all the pain you have experienced in the past year or so, my heart goes out to you, especially in the loss of your daughter.
Hear me when I say you did nothing wrong. This is not your fault. There is nothing to “correct”.
Here is the misunderstanding about creating our experience that I see many people have: while it is true that we are the creators of our experience, we are not necessarily the creators of the events that show up in our lives. Rather, we are co-creators of the events that show up in our lives. Each and every person that experiences an event with us has played a part in creating the event itself. For example, if you experience the event of a car accident, it was not created by you alone. It was co-created by everyone who was impacted by it: the other car involved, the witnesses who saw it happen, your friends and family who are concerned and who you may have told about it, even the people who built the road that the accident happened on. Our role as conscious creators is how we choose to experience an event, how we choose to experience the car accident. Does this make sense?
So let me be very clear, it is not your fault that your daughter passed on, you did not cause that. And I can tell you with utter certainty that she doesn’t blame you, isn’t mad at you, and in fact, loves you so much that her soul agreed to depart at the time it did in order to give all the co-creators involved the opportunity to experience themselves as certain things within the context of “loss”. It is okay to feel the pain, to be sad, to miss your daughter. That is part of your experience. But you also get to decide how you want to experience life after loss; in other words, who do you want to be now? I hear that you want to be a good mother to your children who are still with you. So your job is to decide what that looks like and be it. It may also be beneficial to write your daughter who passed on a letter, for your own healing, telling her everything that is in your heart to tell.
In regards to your question of how to move forward without the pain and struggle, my answer is to let go of the story you are telling that life is painful, that you are creating pain. Begin to shift your focus on all that is wonderful in your life, and keep it there as much as possible. This is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and for your family at this time. In fact, I recommend developing the practice of daily gratitudes. That is, begin writing down at least 10 things that you are truly grateful for, that you love or appreciate, every single day. And furthermore, consciously choose to make your last thoughts before you fall asleep at night, as well as the first thoughts you have when you wake up in the morning, thoughts of gratitude. This is where we become the creators of our own experience. If you choose to focus on the “negative”, or the “pain” or the “struggle”, then you will continue to create more of that experience. But if you choose to focus on and pay more attention to the beauty of life, what you do have versus what you don’t have, what you love versus what you resent or don’t like, then you will create more experiences of good things. It is really quite remarkable.
The other thing I recommend is to continue reaching out to others, do what you need to do to heal yourself from what happened, and know that you don’t have to do it alone. Meditation and journaling are also great ways to both heal and to live more consciously without pain and struggle, as well as being able to better deal with pain and struggle when it does show up. I think you a remarkable, wonderful, beautiful woman and mother, Maria. You have the power to experience your life any way you want to. Please let me know if I can assist you in any other way, and thank you for being willing to share your story and for trusting there is a better way of living for you and for your children.
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
Dear Therese,
My 85-year-old grandmother lives on her own and is in good health for her age, but with the heat of the summer upon us, I am worried for her. She just barely makes it by on her SS check, and can’t afford air-conditioning. I’m not in a position financially to take on her electric bill if she turned on the AC. I am married and have two children. I really like what Neale says about helping others, but what am I supposed to do?
Geena in TX
Dear Geena,
Let me begin with the practical things to do, that you may have already thought of….
I see you are in Texas, and I just moved from Houston, so I know that the power company has a program that encourages people to pay at least $1 extra to help seniors who cannot afford air-conditioning. Perhaps such a program exists in your area and you can help your mother apply for it? I also read that there is a federal program for such assistance.
( Paraphrased from an article called “The Savvy Senior,” by Jim Miller)
Next, make sure you are aware of the things, other than the actual heat, that contribute to the risk of heat-related illnesses, such as medications (diuretics, high blood pressure meds that can cause dehydration), being overweight, underlying illnesses like diabetes, certain heart issues, and trouble walking around.
Make yourself aware of how to prevent heat exhaustion. Don’t wear tight clothing. Hydrate, and avoid alcohol and caffeine. Take frequent cool showers, apply cool water and ice packs to your skin. Avoid sun exposure, and drink water even when you do not feel thirsty!
Spend time in public places, and check to see if your area has a local health department air-conditioned shelter.
Okay, that is the practical. How about the spiritual in all of this?
As you alluded to, CWG says that our purpose in life is to serve others. We must be sure of who we are, and fill ourselves, of course, but we do this so that we may serve others well.
With that in mind, have you and your husband considered asking your mother to live with you? Assuming this is possible. Even if you have limited space, many cultures share bedrooms. Grandchild and grandparent, for example. If not full-time move in, how about on particularly hot days or months? You have 2 children, and many believe (as does CWG) that by taking advantage of the wisdom of the elders, it lessens the burden on the parents, gives the children a much larger view of life, and gives the elders a purpose. In short, it models “we are all One” in a very real, close to home, way. In fact, it is the perfect way to change the current paradigm of separateness that permeates our western cultures these days. We can’t usually share what we believe with the whole world, but we can show our own children that there is a different way!
You would be serving your mother by doing any of the things mentioned above, but perhaps you might want to take the last step, too? Your mother’s pride might get in the way of her accepting the offer initially, but, if it is something you are willing to do, be sure to keep the offer open. Maybe even have a trial period. If she does move in, be open to change and new ways of doing things. This kind of situation does present challenges, but it also gives abundant opportunity for deciding who you really are…and acting on that decision.
Geena, you may find that your mother’s apparent helplessness is her greatest gift to you, to your children, and to the world.
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net . She may be contacted at: Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
My husband’s employer is promoting him, which will require him to be transferred to another city across the country. Although both my husband and I are really excited about how this can kickstart his career, I’m torn. We are finally living back in our home state after fifteen years and I thought we would be here for the rest of our lives. I really love it here, but truthfully don’t have a lot going on with my work. How do I reconcile my love for my husband with my love for my home? Do I just blindly follow him? What about me and my soul’s purpose?… Angel
Dear Angel… Your timing in this question is perfect, because two out of the three advice columnists here are going through the same thing, myself being one of them. We aren’t moving because our husbands have been transferred, but the situations are otherwise very similar. In my case I have had to do some serious soul searching to see how I feel about my husband’s strong desire to move.
Neale says the two most important questions we can ask in our lives are these:
1. Where am I going? …and…
2. Who’s going with me?
He advises us to never reverse the order of the questions. In all three of our cases, our husbands were the ones who wanted to go first, leaving us with the question of whether or not to go with them. The reason to never reverse the order of the questions, of course, is this: We must each follow our own soul’s path. As indicated by your final question, you wisely already understand this.
In my case, having been blissfully happily married for 23 years, my first inclination was to follow the Biblical quote from the Book of Ruth, “Whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge…” because my relationship with my husband comes first and foremost in my life. I know at a very deep level that we are soul partners on this physical journey and we are huge help-mates to each other. So the question becomes, how to reconcile his path with my own?
Whenever I have confusion about anything in my life, Angel, I always go to the Source of all wisdom for answers. I have learned how to quickly access my soul’s higher knowing through my own personal conversations with God, knowing that even before I ask, the answers are already given. This is promised in many spiritual texts, and I have always found it to be true.
If you don’t know how to do this, I can tell you two very powerful ways that work for me. Both processes require you to get very clear what your question is, then write it down and have plenty of paper ready for whatever answers might come through. If you are used to meditating or praying and can effectively quiet your mind, this is a great way to receive answers. Simply write down your question, go deeply into your quiet space and be open to whatever comes through you. Write it down without censoring it, and if more questions come up, write them down also, then write whatever answers come. Allow the questions and answers to become a dialogue if that happens. Don’t fret, though, if this isn’t how it works for you. This is a skill I have honed, so the conversations come easily to me now, but when I first started, only a few sentences came through. Even if you don’t perceive anything when you first try this, please rest assured, if you live inside the question and continue doing the process, the answers will come. Practice makes perfect.
If you are not comfortable quieting your mind in meditation, or even if you are, another wonderful way to access your highest information is to write the question down before retiring at night. Thank God in advance for any answers that may come through, then in the morning reach for your notepad and write down anything that comes to mind, again without censoring it. You can always look later at what you wrote, to see if it feels right and true for you, and you get to decide what, if anything, to do about it.
Remember, as Conversations With God says, “There is nothing you have to do.” You are always at choice in every matter, even those that seem like they are backing you into a corner. Everything we do is by choice. I don’t buy it when someone says, “I had no choice,” because God has given us total free will. If you are an adult human being, you have the liberty to choose how to live your life.
All of us are three-part beings, made up of body, mind and soul. It may help you to know the purpose of each:
1. The function of the soul is to indicate its desires (not impose them).
2. The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
3. The function of the body is to act out that choice.
This is what Conversations With God calls the “Three Functions of Life”. Your job now is to find out what your soul’s desire is, decide if that’s what you want to do, then act out that choice.
Because, like you, I was torn about whether to move, I had my own conversation with God about it. The messages that came through made it very clear that this move is not only highest and best for my husband’s soul purpose, it is highest and best for mine as well. At one point, I simply wrote, “I surrender,” and this is the response I received. I hope it helps you too:
“That is good. Yes, surrender, but only and always with the knowing that I will never ask you to do something that doesn’t feel good to your soul. It may not always feel good to your mind, and that is because your mind doesn’t always understand all there is to know about something. When this happens, LIVE INSIDE THE QUESTION. Don’t be such a perfectionist that you have to know everything there is to know about a situation right now. Live inside the question. Allow yourself the luxury of being happy regardless, TRUSTING that I will not mis-lead you. I will not make mistakes on your behalf. I will only pave the most perfect way, if you will let me and not try to do it yourself.”
It went on to say, “Enlarge your vision… Get ready for a brand new lifestyle. Stay centered now more than ever as you make this transition… It’s time. It’s time. This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it!”
I, for one, Angel, always follow the guidance I receive. I listen to the wisdom of the Voice within me, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in my life. And most importantly, I trust it. I surrender to it because my soul knows much better than my mind what is highest and best for me. Those are two very powerful words:
“I surrender.”
I hope this helps, dear Angel. Your soul already knows what is highest and best for you. Our souls are the part of us that are always perfectly aligned with God, even when our minds aren’t, so please allow God’s information—Gods in formation—to come through you. If you choose to follow it, I promise you, it will never steer you wrong. I wish you the very best as you move into the next segment of your physical life journey, and trust that you already know what to do.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School.To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
It seems like every time I find myself feeling really good and happy about my life, it is short-lived. One minute I’ll be happy and in no time at all something will happen to throw me into a tailspin and I don’t know which way is up! How can I stay happy for longer periods of time?
~ Melissa, Indiana
Dear Melissa,
First of all, I so know what you’re going through! Truth is, we all do. What you are experiencing is the Law of Opposites at work; that is, as soon as you make a declaration to the Universe (i.e. “I am happy.”), its exact opposite will show up in some way. Admittedly, this experience can be frustrating, especially if you aren’t aware of what’s really going on. But the existence of this law isn’t to punish or to deter us, it actually helps us create what we want in life.
Allow me to explain. The Law of Opposites is based on the principle: “In the absence of that which you are not, that which you are, is not.” In other words, you cannot know yourself as happy unless you know of the experience of sadness. If you were happy all the time, and were only surrounded by happiness, you would cease to even know what happiness really is. But when its opposite shows up, and you experience that contrast, your experience of happiness becomes greater. So you see, the Law of Opposites works in harmony with what you are trying to create more of. The key is to recognize what’s happening and choose happiness again.
So the next time you have this experience, in whatever context, try this:
~ The moment you notice the seemingly not-so-great stuff showing up in your world, take the time to stop and recognize what’s happening. Choose to see it as the Law of Opposites doing its part to bring you what you have called forth. If you dare to, choose to see the “bad” stuff as a sign that the process of creation is indeed working, and say “thank you.”
~ Make a new choice, or rather, choose your original thought again. For example, if your original declaration was “I am happy”, then choose it again, and focus on everything that is alignment with happiness. Make the conscious choice to not give any more energy to the negative stuff that is appearing in your reality.
~ Pat yourself on the back for being the creator of your own experience.
I’m not saying applying any of this is easy, unless it is, of course. But I am saying with a little conscious thought, intention and awareness, you can have an entirely different experience than the one you mentioned in your question. Good luck!
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
Dear Therese,
Been reading some of your advice columns. I think your advice is so thought out and great. One question in particular I resonated with was the man asking where our leaders are and who do we follow. I really feel that is the question of my generation (30’s) and younger. I agree with you 100%, but I just want to add a little. Your generation had real news (for the most part). It was opinionated and honest reporting, such as the hippie movement, Vietnam, and Martin Luther King, Jr. My generation comes from filtered, agenda oriented, media. If there is an icon to follow, look to, (such as the way many opinions were changed with MLK), our media makes them look like lunatics. That is, if they even choose to do a story on them. If today was 1960, Neale would be main stream news with his new way of thinking. Hell no, you Google him today and he’s made to look like a crazy for saying God spoke to him. And that’s my point, anything to do with God is not news. The only news about Christians is about things like Westboro Baptist and how God hates fags (their word). Why? Because the news is that people who believe in God are insane. People who don’t believe in abortion are out of touch. My point here is that people like Neale don’t get face time anymore. I could go on here but my point is younger generations are lost.
Also, its about finding the pure courage and sacrifice for speaking up and finding a graceful way of demanding a better way. We are taught that the only heros are fiction. Anyway, the word “peace” and its meaning, and how to achieve it in ourselves and others around, is completely mutilated and twisted.
I also want to give you an example how what was taught to me, mainly through media, was so contorted and wrong. Woman’s right to choose. This act is to be empowering, it’s my body, I can choose to abort. Because I believed what I saw on TV, media, hidden messages in TV shows etc. I felt I was empowering myself as a woman to abort. Knowing what I know now, no, I was manipulated into this thinking and I chose wrong. I’m not empowered, neither man nor woman has a right to choose this. Life can not be debated. A life is a life, period. If someone buys a gun, points it and kills someone, there is no debate, there is no empowerment. The man who held the gun and killed goes to prison. Why in the world have we bought into it’s ok to abort?? Let me be more clear, why have we accepted it’s a woman’s right to kill a baby?? A woman who’s not in her right mind drowns her children in a tub is demonized for the rest of her life for doing so. But it’s ok to rip a 6 month old fetus (in some states) out of the womb and break its neck and dispose of it??? It’s OK because the person doing it is a doctor?? And to think our country ALLOWS a person to choose killing babies on a daily basis as a PROFESSION??!! How twisted and numb we are toward life! My point is, I don’t feel empowered for exercising my right to choose, I feel like a killer and every woman who thinks twice about the decision will one day feel the same on some level. Or perhaps they won’t because they have chosen to bury the burden.
I chose to share my insight about this to show you how I didn’t think twice because of what was fed to me. Just think of how manipulated younger generations are now because its taught more and more there is no God, only government.
Georgia, in PA
Dear Georgia,
I left your letter pretty intact, because I believe these are important issues you raise. I will not use this column to give any advice as to whether or not a woman should choose to have an abortion, but will address what I believe to be larger issues surrounding the specific issue, that may help you with the guilt you feel surrounding your decision to abort. So…
If you believe in God, you have to define what kind of God you believe in.
I believe in a God who does not judge me or condemn me for things that I did when I did not have a fully formed opinion of God and Life. Sweet lady, I don’t believe God would have any desire for you to have a moment of guilt beyond the point where it served you to think about something and form your own feelings about things. Guilt harms our mind and our bodies, and God has no need for anything that harms us. Her only desire is for our happiness.
I also believe, if one believes in God, that no life, no matter how short, is without purpose. I believe that even the aborted fetus (child), chose to have that experience. You see, just as the life of a brother murdered in a drive-by shooting, or a beloved grandparent dying, causes us to reflect on the meaning of that person in our lives, so, too, does the life of that unborn child.
My reflection on abortion has gotten me to the point where I don’t believe it is a matter of whether or not we have taken a life…because I don’t believe that life ever ends, and is, rather, something we will do again and again. My reflection has me at the same point you are…why do we even think that this child isn’t Life? Why do we value life, in general, so little? Or is it something more? Are we beginning to value ourselves, as women in particular, once again? Inappropriately, to be sure, but just as the abused becomes the abuser, couldn’t it be that women, given choices now, don’t know how to make those choices very well sometimes?
Or is the choice of abortion, and the purpose of those children, greater than even that? Is it so much about the child/mother, as it is about culture (government/big business/media…are they really separate?), and religion that got us to the point of even thinking that there is a need for this choice?
Let’s back up to before the point of making the decision to abort. What would have to change in a woman’s life to change this decision?
I believe what would have to change is that no woman, married or not, would ever be reviled, or thought to be sinful or wrong in their choice to carry a child to full term. Nor would she be made wrong for choosing to give that child up for adoption. I believe that when every woman knows that they will not be thrown into poverty because they have a child, or be given, essentially, second class citizenship, they will have those children. And if abortion is to be something that no one ever chooses, then we must believe, as I mentioned earlier, that we lose nothing when we die…so dying in the act of birthing would not be considered anything but a natural continuation of life…of the mother’s and the child’s.
I, with all of my heart, believe what CWG says regarding “right’ and “wrong”. There is no right and wrong, only what works and doesn’t work. Abortion IS working to get the conversation going…but it is NOT working as something we should choose once we have our moment of enlightenment on the topic, individually, then, hopefully, collectively.
These changes in our world can happen. I believe that there are so many abortions now, because these little unborn souls are choosing to get this dialog going. I think that extremists (political, religious) , are currently monopolizing this conversation, turning it into a distorted dialog…that is tied up in the larger agenda of money/control, and until the dialog turns to how we think about ourselves, in relation to one another and to Divinity, it will continue to be a point that will never be universally resolved. The issue of abortion, for me, is also representative of how we are re-thinking the killing another human being…period. If it is not okay to end the life of an unborn child, how is it okay to end the life of a “born” child…through war? via the death penalty? We are having to ask ourselves why is the temporal deemed so valuable as to justify offering up human lives to possess?
However, it is people like you and I, who will, ultimately, effect this change. As I said in the column you referred to, I believe that WE are the leaders who will change the world, and we have to stop waiting for others to change it for us! Change ourselves, change the person next to us, change the whole darn world! (Shades of Mother Teresa and Ghandi!)
Georgia, this is a very timely topic, and one with which many struggle, especially those who have had an abortion. I thank you SO much for your input about this. My thoughts about abortion have been floating around for about a month, and now I know why! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express them. You might also consider that without your experience with abortion, this column might not have been written, and others would not know your thoughts…and your thoughts could be part of the shift in this world we seek.
Oh, one last thing…I agree that today’s news is very skewed and full of agenda, but that might just be a good thing, because it is, at least, very transparent now. We definitely know who is the liberal and who is the conservative etc. My generation (baby boomer), had very censored news in its own way. Neale might have gotten more “face time”, but I doubt he would have been accepted. (But I get what you are saying…take the more transparency and lay it over today) The point of any of the generations is that we must think for ourselves, and the best way to “think” for ourselves, is to feel what any input does to our bodies. “Truth” and “Lie” feel very different in our bodies, but we have been taught to ignore our body for a very long time…way before your generation or mine. Now is the time to teach our own children something different, don’t you think?
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net . She may be contacted at: Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I remember from reading the CWG books that Neale mentions here and there the concepts of building and maintaining a conscious relationship. However, I was wondering whether there is any specific material out there that is solely focused on this topic. Blessings and joy to you…Annalisa
Dear Annalisa…Neale addressed a similar question in our Spiritual Mentoring Program call on Saturday by saying this:
“1. Need nothing. 2. Understand everything. 3. Love all.”
Please allow me to elaborate:
1. In a relationship if we Need nothing specific from the other, we can save ourselves a lot of grief. For example, I have found that with my family, sometimes we are pulled in different directions, each of us having our own agenda, especially around the holidays. Things run much more smoothly for me if I don’t attach myself to any particular plan—if I don’t Need anything in particular to happen—allowing Life to lead me where it will. This appeases everyone, so therefore, I am at peace as well!
2. Entire relationships, indeed, entire lives have been ruined by people who misunderstand the actions of another and hold grudges against them, rather than sitting down, talking things out, and arriving at mutual understanding about why they did what they did. When we Understand the reasons why others do what they do, forgiveness is automatic. Neale calls this “Forgiveness Forgone” because forgiveness is a foregone conclusion when we Understand the reasons people do things we might consider negative.
3. To Love all doesn’t mean “free love” in the 1960s sense, as the hit song from that era, “Love the One You’re With” recommended. Rather, it means, Love everything that shows up. Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is explains this beautifully. Another author, Rick Steves, who is my favorite travel writer, says, “If something isn’t to your liking, change your liking.” This is a very profound statement that takes on a much deeper meaning than simply what to do while traveling. If we learn to love Life exactly as it is showing up—if we can see the perfection in all of Life—then we live the path of least resistance. This is not to say we are not at choice in every moment. We are, and we’re always invited by Life to Choose Again… to re-create ourselves anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we held about Who We Are. Yet, to do this while living a life resisting nothing is to walk the path of the great Masters.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I recently took a job close to home, and I chose it over a job offer in another state. Both jobs seemed like they’d be a good fit, and believe me I weighed the pros and cons of each; I literally almost just flipped a coin to decide. My problem is, now that I made my choice I am plagued by thoughts that maybe it was the wrong one, that I am missing out on a totally different life that I might enjoy even more. Is that insane? How do I know I made the right choice, and if that’s not possible to know, how do I make peace with the one I made??
Frank, Pennsylvania
Ah decisions, decisions. I don’t know about you, Frank, but to me the worst part about making the “wrong” decision is that I am the one who makes it, the responsibility falls on me. But then, nearly in the same instant sometimes, I remember that because the responsibility falls on me, there is no such thing as a “wrong” decision. In other words, you make a choice and then you make that choice the “right” choice. You are the one who gives meaning to it, you are the one who creates what your experience is.
You see, we can’t lose at this game of life, Frank, not really. That’s because we’re making it all up. Events show up in our lives and we are all at choice as to how we want to experience those events, where we want to place our focus and attention. It’s the same with a choice we have already made – the event has happened and now we get to decide how we want to experience it, how we wish to view that choice. And if I may, why on earth would we choose to view something as the “wrong” choice, full of regret, resentment, and feeling bad about ourselves, when we can just as easily say that this was a fantastic choice and feel great about ourselves?
As for the curiosity over what taking that other job would’ve meant for your life, well, make that up too. Give it meaning and proceed with your life from there. Our brains, our bodies even, respond to what we think. And furthermore, our minds don’t know the difference between memory, imagination, and “reality”; it will produce the same chemical reactions and physiological responses no matter what. So again I say, why not make up (a.k.a. giving meaning to) something that feels good?
And if by chance we decide that something was the “wrong” choice, remember this: opportunities in life are endless, literally endless. There are more combinations of the elements and stuff of life than our minds could ever comprehend, there will always be something else available for you. Strive to keep your attention on the good, on gratitude and possibility and love as much as you can and your awareness of those opportunities will increase.
So go ahead and take a deep breath, Frank. Stop telling yourself you made the wrong choice and start telling yourself you made the right one. Give meaning to taking this job closer to home, and come from a place of what you want to say about it, with you as the authority on the matter.
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I am confused and hurt. I recently found out my boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with three different women. I thought that he was a very spiritual person because he teaches Chi kung, but this doesn’t sound like very spiritual behavior to me! … Jewel
Dear Jewel… Conversations With God Book 3 says that God is eternal, unlimited and free.
Conversations With God also says that we can substitute the word “Love” for “God”, so let’s do that with our previous statement. It would then read:
Love is eternal, unlimited and free.
Do you know that God is all there is and that your boyfriend is a part of God? When he is freely expressing unlimited love to others besides you, his girlfriend, he is actually acting from a very natural place. Our society calls it cheating, but in truth, the sexual behavior itself isn’t cheating, his dishonesty about it is.
Now, it is true that many of us, myself included, freely choose to be in a monogamous relationship, meaning a relationship with just one mate. However, many people feel that a monogamous relationship limits their freedom too much, and apparently your boyfriend is one of those people. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you or that he means to hurt you. He just cares more about following his natural inclinations.
I would gently suggest that it is your thought about his actions that is causing you pain. If you can allow yourself to understand why he is doing what he is doing and not take it personally, you can begin to alleviate your mental suffering.
I’m sorry if it hurts to hear this, Jewel, but if you want a monogamous relationship with a man, it may not be possible with your present boyfriend. It’s logical to conclude that if he has been with three other women already, his pattern of behavior will likely continue.
If you choose to move on from this relationship, please be very honest with him about why you are doing so. Speak your truth but soothe your words with peace.
Allow yourself time to grieve if you’re still feeling sad, and take stock of the aspects of this relationship that you don’t want to experience next time around. Then set your sights on what you do want.
Take some time to get really clear on the qualities you would like to have in a mate. Make a list of them and allow yourself to feel how great that kind of relationship would be. Then happily release it to the Universe, trusting that It is working to bring this wonderful new man into your life.
But please also know this, Jewel: You need no one outside of yourself to complete you. Because you are also a part of God, you are whole, complete and perfect just as you are. Do whatever it takes to be a happy and fulfilled person on your own. Then you will be so irresistible, you will automatically draw a wonderful mate to yourself!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
