Somebody Asked Me
Dear Therese,
I am getting married in June, and I am having doubts. He’s a good man, and he has a good job, but he has mood swings and sometimes I really don’t like being around him. Sometimes I think I can change him, but, should I have to? Should I leave him, or should I stay? I am so tired of trying to make things work, but I am also so tired of dating.
Janine L., Wyoming
Dear Janine,
I am not going to tell you to go or stay. Only you can make that decision.
From your brief note, I get the impression that you have fallen into the trap of modern dating. These days people are considered “loose” or “easy” if they date more than one person at a time, so they fall into what I call the “serial monogamy” treadmill. They try to make each and every date into a relationship! Wow, has that got to be emotionally devastating!
My mother gave me some very wise advice: Date, date, date, date, date. And with each of them, when it’s time to move on, take just a moment to examine just what you did and did not like about them. She told me that if I did that, I would know when the “right” one came along. And I did! We are about to celebrate our 40th anniversary this Saturday!
So how is this relevant to you? Well, looking back, I can see that I might not have had the words to articulate these things like I do now, but I realize I had examined what “relationship” meant to me. I knew that if there was no joy in it from the beginning, and only work, I was not going to serve me or him. I knew that I required someone who would be on a spiritual journey with me. Even (especially!) that has evolved through the years, but the intent of my relationship was clear to me.
CWG Book 1:
Neale: Okay. So I want to find the tools for a long-term relationship—and you say entering relationships purposefully is one of them.
God: Yes. Be sure you and your mate agree on purpose. If you both agree at a conscious level that the purpose of your relationship is to create an opportunity, not an obligation—an opportunity for growth, for full Self expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about you, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your two souls—if you take that vow instead of the vows you’ve been taking—the relationship has begun on a very good note. It’s gotten off on the right foot. That’s a very good beginning.
Neale: Still, it’s no guarantee of success.
God: If you want guarantees in life, you don’t want life. You want rehearsals for a script that’s already been written. Life by its nature cannot have guarantees, or its whole purpose is thwarted.
And:
“…First, make sure you get into a relationship for the right reasons. (I’m using the word “right” here as a relative term. I mean “right” relative to the larger purpose you hold in your life.
As I have indicated before, most people still enter relationships for the “wrong” reasons – to end loneliness, fill a gap, bring themselves love, or someone to love – and those are some of the better reasons. Others do so to salve their ego, end their depressions, improve their sex life, recover from a previous relationship, or, believe it or not, to relieve boredom.
None of these reasons will work, and unless something dramatic changes along the way, neither will the relationship.”
Janine, in CWG, God also says:
“My most powerful messenger is experience, and even this you ignore. Especially this you ignore.”
My mother taught me to look at my own experience…what is your experience telling you?
I know, I know, a lot of Conversations With God quotes, but they happen to be spot-on when I look back at my relationship! I realized that I had to first “know myself and fill myself” so that I could move outward and fully into a relationship that was about more than just me!
It was, and is, an ongoing process.
I somehow knew many of these things, or had been exampled and taught them without knowing whence they came (mother!?), but you are lucky. If you are here, reading this, you are already choosing to consciously know how to move through life and into a full relationship…first with yourself, and then with another.
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I’ve been spending a lot of time with a psychic friend who foresees many frightening things about the future. He has told me about previous things he predicted that came to pass, so I know he is the “real deal”. The worst thing he sees is the earth tilting on its axis, causing widespread global calamity and some countries disappearing into the sea. I feel we must get the word out, to warn people. Can you help?… Michael
Dear Michael… I’m sure this must be very frightening for you, hearing all of these scary predictions from a psychic who seems to have great insight. I want you to realize, though, that you have great insight of your own, and this information didn’t come from there. It came from a source outside of you.
Also, as Conversations With God tells us repeatedly, what we fear, we attract. My advice to you is the same advice heard throughout the ages: “Fear Not”. When we feel fear, that bad-feeling emotion is a signal that we have moved out of alignment with our Source and what is true.
You need to realize that anything psychics predict is not written in stone, and the reason for this is that we are each powerful creators of our own reality. Life is like a giant CD-Rom game in which all possible scenarios already exist, and your psychic friend is simply tapping into one of those possibilities. The great news is, you get to decide how you want to play your own life game, and you do so through your thoughts and feelings. Fear is one of the strongest attracting feelings and when you continually think about what you’re afraid of, you draw that very thing to you like a magnet.
So again, Fear Not, dear Michael. Rather, decide and declare this: “I intend and expect to see what I want in my life”, then know that even before you ask, it has been given. It would take a lot of people fearing that doomsday scenario to co-create it and make it happen in physicality. In one timeline it is a possibility, but is it one you would choose? I certainly wouldn’t!
There are many doomsdayers around and there always have been. Remember the people who said all of our global systems would collapse when we moved into the new millennium? None of that happened. And about your psychic friend’s predictions that he says came true: As long as I can remember there have been people who have attempted to match current events with prophecies. People today still try to do that with Nostradamus’ writings or the Bible’s Book of Revelation. There was an author named Hal Lindsey who was a best-selling author in the 1970s (The Late Great Planet Earth) who had people running scared to death, matching up current events with Revelation. These gloom and doom writers mean well, but time and time again, they are made to look foolish as the horrific events they predict just don’t come to pass.
So, Michael, I would advise you to take your focus off of your friend’s words and allow plenty of time to listen to the wisdom of the voice within you, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in your life. At the very beginning of CWG Book One Neale asked how we can tell if the messages we’re receiving come from God. God answered with these words:
“Mine is always your Highest Thought, your Clearest Word, and your Grandest Feeling. The Highest Thought is that Thought which contains Love, the Clearest Word is that Word which contains Truth, and the Grandest Feeling is that Feeling which contains Joy. Love, Truth, Joy. Anything else is from another source.”
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I am a 28-year-old Indian woman. I am quite attractive and a very loving person but have never been in a romantic relationship. For some reason, the people whom I have fallen for have never reciprocated my love. In India, marriages may also be arranged by your friends or family. I really want to have love in my life, but I want it to come naturally. I do not want to look for a partner or go for an arranged marriage. I am really confused as to whether I should make a conscious effort, like joining a matrimonial site, or do I wait for love to come by? I really can’t imagine getting married to a person whom I do not love…please guide.
Pilar, India
Hi Pilar,
First of all, thank you for reaching out, for listening to the voice of your soul and being brave enough to ask if there is another way to find love that is more in alignment with who you really are, as well as how to find it. The answer to your question of whether or not to go actively searching for it or wait for love to come by is…neither. Instead, here are two other approaches that I’m going to offer you today, Pilar:
One of the greatest messages from Conversations with God is that if there is something you’d like to experience in life, the quickest way to do so is to give it away, give it to another. The very act of doing so is a statement to the Universe that it is yours to give, and in the actual giving of it, you are indeed experiencing that thing you said you wanted to experience. For example, for someone who wants to experience being rich, sharing what little they do have with someone who has even less can produce a tremendous experience of being rich. Now, in the situation of intimate love, this can be kind of challenging. It doesn’t necessarily mean going around telling everyone you see that you’re in love with them (unless, of course, that serves you). Instead, it means fully expressing all kinds of love – to your family, your friends, your pets, your fellow humans walking their own path. It also means giving yourself the experience of being in love with you. Treat yourself with the same love, appreciation, respect, kindness and tenderness that you would your significant other. Take the time to express that love to yourself, through loving thoughts, words, and deeds. You see, what happens when you do this is that your focus is shifted towards love itself, versus the perceived lack of it in your life, and via the process of creation, you can’t help but call forth more of it into your life.
The second approach is an approach that I would offer, no matter what the external challenge or problem, is to first of all stop worrying about how to make it happen (in other words, get out of the energy of the problem, as no solution is ever available in the same energy the problem exists in), and to go within and focus on your own alignment. Neale calls this your “soul’s agenda” and offers the powerful question, “What does this thing (problem, choice, situation, etc.) have to do with my soul’s agenda?” When you are living from your soul’s agenda, or living from a place of alignment, everything else quite literally comes together. It works itself out. In other words, love finds you, you don’t have to find it. By the consistent attention to and raising of your own vibration, you open the door to allowing all of the things you desire in life to come through, and, in the process, you get to experience all of those feelings you thought you could experience only in the having of something external to you. You get to experience them right here, right now. It’s incredible.
So what does that look like, this alignment thing, or how do you tune into your soul’s agenda? By focusing your attention inward, through meditation, journaling, practicing daily gratitude, whatever you resonate with that allows you to connect to that source within. But here’s the key: do so consistently. Sometimes even the simple posing of the powerful question “what does this have to do with my soul’s agenda?” or even “what would my soul do here?”, without consciously trying to answer it, is enough to shift your attention, and the answer appears right exactly when it needs to.
Try the above approaches, Pilar, and much love to you in the process.
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Dear Therese,
A friend and I have been doing things together twice a week for almost ten years. We enjoy our time together and have many things in common, but that’s not the problem. My problem is that I always drive, because she doesn’t, and she has never once offered to pay me for gas. Until recently that wasn’t an issue, because the places we like to go are in her area, but I am on a fixed income and would sure like to keep costs down for me, and there are things much closer to me that I could go to, instead of by her. How do I tell her?
W.H. in Wisconsin
Dear W.H.,
The simple answer, W.H., is tell her exactly what you just told me! You’ve given no indication that she is abusive or unreasonable, which probably means that she has likely fallen into the habit of letting you pay. Is it possible that when this arrangement began you consistently told her it was your pleasure, or no problem, or you liked doing this? Sweetie, if you don’t speak up, you will never know if there really is a problem! It could be that she is very willing to pay and just doesn’t know circumstances have changed for you.
Your predicament is a microcosm of a much larger social problem, of course. We are encouraged to give, but not told why. The “why” is because this life isn’t about us, it is about how our lives touch and improve the lives others (put very simply, of course). What we aren’t really told these days is that all benefits must be mutual. The mutual ultimately boils down to the joy of giving, but being the human beings that we are, it often takes something a little more concrete to demonstrate mutuality. For sure it means that one person can not take advantage of another. When generosity is abused, the energy of the relationship changes, and we feel it.
Then comes the next predicament. We are also told that we have to be nice. We are encouraged to avoid conflict. We are fearful that other people won’t like us. None of these things are necessarily wrong, until they stop us from being true to ourselves. When we stop being true to ourselves, W.H., we also stop giving from our joy, and our giving becomes tainted.
When our giving no longer comes from our joy, as is demonstrated in your case, it affects relationships. Your friend, W.H., has no way of knowing that something has changed unless you tell her. Chances are she suspects, by your behavior, or some subtle changes in you, but she can not really know until you tell her your truth. I suggest you tell her very gently, but directly, that your circumstances have changed. Don’t just stop doing things with her and go to places closer without giving her a chance to give back to you. Who knows, she may have been hiding information from you about her finances or other things, and may wish to talk to you, too. This one thing may actually open up a whole new avenue of communication between the two of you and move you two into a whole new level of mutual benefit.
We just never know where standing in our own truth, even in seemingly simple things, will take us!
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
My husband truly loves me, and I him, yet he rains on my parade sometimes and it cuts me to the quick. I can be in such a happy place and he says something that just slays me. I should tell you that I love CWG and am doing several of the Advanced Programs, but he can’t really “go there” with me. He sort of half-tries, but doesn’t follow through. He’s not one to show his emotions but I think he might be a little afraid when I step out on a limb without him. Although he is quite conservative, he isn’t religious, so he’s not afraid I’ll go to hell or anything like that. Maybe he’s just threatened? How can I stay in my joy when he says things that bring me down?… Nancy
Dear Nancy… Oh, have I seen this before and I feel great empathy for you, knowing this is a huge Soul issue. Although it isn’t easy for some men to open up emotionally, I am a firm believer in completely open and honest dialogue. Even if he has a hard time talking about his feelings, is he a good listener? Have you tried having a sweet, loving, heart-to-heart talk with him about how you feel?
Having been happily married for 22 years some thoughts come to mind:
1. Whenever my hubby, Greg, and I have been at odds about something it’s helped us to remember, We’re on the same team. We are not adversaries, we are team-mates!
2. We share everything… or at least I do! I am a completely open book and there’s nothing I won’t tell him. If there is something that might be potentially hurtful I make doubly sure to say it with great love.
3. I should tell you that I used to embarrass Greg by my happy-go-lucky nature. He was also quite conservative and reserved, but I, like my Dad, never met a stranger, so am very outgoing. I’ll just talk with anybody and everybody and it’s always felt very natural to me. Greg wasn’t like that at all, and really didn’t know how to take me and would say things that hurt me, although he loved me very much. When I ask him now how he got over it, he’s not really sure, but says he realized that people gravitate towards me and that was more interesting than just being with boring people! Maybe over time he realized that there is nothing to be afraid of, by my being happy and outgoing. I certainly wasn’t flirting with other men or anything. I was just enjoying life and all it has to offer.
And that brings up perhaps the most important point: What is your husband afraid of? Does he think he’ll lose you if you go down the spiritual path alone? If you are firm in your conviction to stay committed to your marriage regardless of whether he “goes there” with you, then you need to tell him that in clear, loving language so that he really gets it. I recommend a little getaway in a romantic place for a few days where you can just focus on each other without all the distractions of home. Just doing this important talk over dinner out someplace, then going back home, isn’t enough, in my opinion.
Go somewhere for several days and home in on why you fell in love and got married in the first place. Focus on each other’s positive aspects, not any perceived negative ones. Come back together and re-commit to sharing your lives in the most positive way possible. When the moment feels right, hold his hand, look deeply into his eyes and share very briefly that it feels bad when he rains on your parade. Say it in a sentence or two but don’t dwell on it. Immediately tell him, “I know you don’t mean to hurt me, so I just wanted you to know I’ll feel a lot better if you don’t do that anymore.” Then smile and tell him, “I love you.” Those three little words have the power to change everything.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I have a counseling practice, and I help a lot of people on a day to day basis. I’ve followed the Conversations with God material for years and incorporate it in my work at every opportunity. Part of my job is to show my clients how wonderful they are, what a gift they are to the world, and that they are not their “problems.” What I’m having trouble with is getting myself to believe that about myself. I seem to have this resistance to accepting anything good about me, and every time a client thanks me for changing their life, tells me how great I am, I am quick to turn it back to them, make it about them. I just have such a hard time acknowledging the good things about myself, no matter where they come from, without feeling conceited or arrogant. I know there’s some learning for me here, and I’m more than open to hearing your thoughts, please!
Savannah, N. Carolina
Hi Savannah,
Bless your heart for the work you do. I know you do much more than what you’ve just outlined for us but that part is perhaps one of the most important gifts you can give to others. And you’re very wise for recognizing that you haven’t yet given it to yourself, and that there is some “learning” here for you.
We have been conditioned for years by our parents, grandparents, churches, and all sorts of sources to not speak well of ourselves, to not brag or boast, etc. Along with that we all know a person or two who can’t seem to get enough of talking about themselves and how great they are, which can often be received as annoying and we say that person is “full of him/herself”. Between those two factors and probably many others, it’s quite normal for you to have this resistance to acknowledging yourself and owning your own magnificence, and you’re certainly not alone in that (just think of all the clients that come to you!). But it doesn’t have to be that way, and the other side of the coin holds gifts and opportunities beyond measure, and not just for you.
In my experience and observations a person who brags all the time and comes across as arrogant and conceited is actually overcompensating for something, and you can smell it a mile away. However, it is quite a beautiful thing to witness someone who is indeed “full of him/herself” in the way I believe God intended for us to be, in such a way that couldn’t possibly be interpreted as arrogance or conceit, but instead a joyful experience of a person owning and loving who they are without apology. I’m guessing you know a person or two who has accomplished this as well, yes? And, being that you’ve undoubtedly helped facilitate this process in others, you’ve seen the incredible impact this kind of self-love and appreciation has not only in the individual’s life, but the lives of their loved ones and even the world at large. You see, Savannah, it is not only in our best interest to acknowledge and own the beauty and brilliance that each of is, it is our responsibility. It is our gift to the world.
So this begs the question, what on earth are you waiting for?
Here’s an exercise to help you:
~ Make a list of your own magnificence. List as many things you can think of that are great, wonderful, and extraordinary about you, and do so without a thought towards sounding arrogant.
~ Write or talk about 3 examples where your magnificence really came in and brought about something very powerful for another soul.
~ Also, from a future perspective, ask yourself the following: what will it mean for you to fully engage your magnificence? What will it mean for your life, the lives of the people you’re in contact with, and the world at large?
This is a profound exercise. In fact, my own coach just gave it to me as my homework recently, and I have already given it to two of my own clients. So complete it first for yourself, Savanna, and then pass it on. Let’s see just how many people we can get to own their own magnificence, to see and live the very best parts of themselves freely and with joy. The benefits of this are literally endless.
— “Accept yourself. Love yourself just as you are. Your finest work, your best moments, your joy, peace, and healing come when you love yourself. You give a great gift to the world when you do that. You give others permission to do the same: to love themselves. Revel in self love. Roll in it. Bask in it, as you would the sunshine.” ~ Melody Beattie —
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Dear Therese,
I am at the time of my life where I realize I have far fewer years behind me than ahead of me, and I have to admit I am afraid of death. I have always been afraid of death. Even when I was young, and practicing my religion I never thought death was anything except just stopping. I would like to believe something else, but right now I just believe death is forever nothingness, and I think about it a lot.
Nancy in St. Paul
Dear Nancy,
Increasingly there is evidence that there is life after death, due to things like near death experiences, but it is still very contradictory at best. Some think it concrete evidence, some think it evidence of what our bodies do when under certain conditions and stresses. I happen to think it is not strictly chemical.
Getting to the very basics of science, energy can never go away, it can only change form, right? Which means, if nothing else, we will continue on for sure, even if not in the form we are experiencing right now. Not very comforting, though, is it?
I also happen to resonate with things in the CWG world…go figure! In “Home With God, in a life that never ends” Neale Donald Walsch talks with God about death. One of the things that seems most true, given the anecdotal evidence mentioned above, is that what we believe about death is what we will experience after we die. If we believe in hell, or, in your case, nothingness, that is exactly what we will experience…until we decide we have finished this particular human experience all the way to its completion, and are ready to meet up with the All (God, if you will), and choose again. We can choose to do the same life again, or we can choose one of the infinite possibilities that exist called “The Life of Nancy.” Or we could stay with Creator, but that isn’t likely, because the urge to experience what we know would be very alluring.
Part of what I hear you saying, though, Nancy, is that you have a particular attachment to this body, and this mind. What if I were to tell you that it is also suggested in “The Only Thing That Matters,” by Neale, that we change form for a bit, but that we ultimately reunite with this same mind/body/soul that we now are? Our form changes energy, much like snowflake to rain to ice to vapor and back to snow. It is all the same thing, but different forms, and we will resume our form as well. For me this is comforting, and explains a lot of my feelings of been-there done-that!
Of course, as is glibly said, there’s no getting away from the fact that we are going to die, but that does not mean that we have to dwell in the fear of it either. Ultimately it is just another change in a life that is nothing but change…each change can be called a little death, and, if you are like me, you can also look back and see that each “little death” opened up the pathway for something else. I think it is pretty cool to sit and imagine what that “something else” will be after the change called my physical death!
Nancy, I hope that you can imagine that, too, and choose to live this life consciously and with joy, and not waste it through living fearfully…although, you will get the chance to do it again if you’d like!
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Dear Readers,
Today’s column is a bit unique in that I’m posting synopses of a series of emails between a personal friend and myself. I thought our exchange would have more impact than if I distilled it into a traditional advice column Q&A. “Yolanda” is a beautiful young Positive Music singer-songwriter here in Nashville who has been a vegan for many years. When she informed me of her decision to have a hysterectomy earlier this year I was shocked because it just didn’t seem like her style. She said she was at peace with the decision, though, having done some deep spiritual work around it. The conversation starts a few weeks later…
A: How are you feeling? 100% yet?
Y: Well, the pathology revealed early cancer. I know I made the right decision to have the hysterectomy! I see a GYN oncologist tomorrow, but I remain confident that the cancer is all out of my body. I am receiving the healing thoughts of so many amazing people, I have no choice but to be perfectly healthy! I really do feel better and better every day. Got back onstage for the first time Saturday and it was wonderful. 🙂
A: Wow, Yolanda, thank God you listened to your Inner Voice. Would you like for me to teach you how to have your own Conversations With God so you’ll always have access to your Soul’s higher guidance? It works miracles in Greg’s and my lives.
Y: Yes, please! 🙂
A: For now, I want you to do Neale’s video version of the “How To Have Your Own Conversation With God” process online. I taught this process at the Music City Center for Spiritual Living a couple of weeks ago and won’t be doing it again in town for awhile and don’t want you to have to wait.
1. Go to: www.cwg.tv
2. Click on “SUBSCRIBE NOW” at the top of the page. They have a “pay as you can plan” so that anyone can have access to it, regardless of their financial situation.
3. Go back to cwg.tv and log in with your user name and password.
4. Click on the “Special Programs” tab.
5. Select the top option: “Have your own Conversation With God”.
One other thing I want you to do: listen to my song “Thankful Offering” every day for six months, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to feel the deep-seated truth of your health and healing. Being grateful now brings you more to be grateful for. That’s why prayers of gratitude are the most powerfully creative.
Y: I haven’t had a chance to look at this yet, but thank you SO MUCH, Annie. I went to a GYN oncologist yesterday and she wants to go back in and take my ovaries, even though there is no actual proof that there is cancer there. As you can imagine, I am extremely reluctant to do this, but I have a lot to consider. I believe that my body is free of cancer at this time, but what if I’m wrong? It’s a huge decision and I have a lot of searching to do, both literally and spiritually.
A: Thank you for sharing this with me, Yolanda. Your Soul knows what is best here, so that is the perfect question to ask in a conversation with God: “What is highest and best for me regarding having my ovaries removed?” Be ready to write down whatever comes through and don’t censor it! A CWG is simply accessing the knowledge of the Universe via your Soul.
What is the reason they want to remove your healthy ovaries? Is it because you don’t want to do chemo?
I am here for you through any and all of this you want me to be. I adore you, Yolanda, and want to help in any way that might feel right for you.
Y: Well, the cancer they found in my uterus hasn’t been staged yet. The oncologist hasn’t even viewed the slide yet, but she will do so with her colleagues on Tuesday. There is a chance that it spread before they got the uterus out, so she wants to cover all bases. I really don’t care to have another surgery and I was THRILLED that I got to keep my ovaries after the first one. We didn’t know there was cancer present until after the surgery was done, which is why I was referred to a specialist.
I’m not convinced I should have to go into early menopause and go under the knife again just because we’re not sure. Hence the reason I need to do some soul-searching and a lot of research before I make any decisions.
A: One message I got in a CWG the other day was this, and I thought it was so profound, I printed it out and put it up on my fridge:
Listen to your own songs.
Read your own writing.
Follow your own advice.
If you did that with your song, “Love All”, what would that look like? Could you love the situation you are in now, knowing it could only be happening for your greater growth and good? Could you love the cancer that was in your body? Could you love any cancerous cells that might be there now? Could you communicate love to them, thank them, then invite them to return to the Oneness from whence they came, letting them know they have served their purpose in your life?
Not easy questions, and certainly not easy assignments, yet they may be in your highest and best interest to work toward…
Y: Mmmmm. Thank you.
A: Does that sound crazy or does it make sense? It felt kind of inspired coming out so I didn’t second guess it…
Y: Totally makes sense to me. Thank you for not censoring!
A: May I have your permission to post our email conversation as my weekly advice column in Neale’s online newspaper? Who knows who all it might help.
Y: You have my permission. 🙂 Thank you, again.
CT scan looks good, so yay! I’m breaking up with cancer. I learned a lot from it, but now it’s time we parted ways. 🙂
A: WOOHOO!!!!!!! Yes, as in all good break-ups, send it lovingly on its way…
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I have a co-worker who I just don’t get along with. I do my best to be nice, have tried the “kill her with kindness” approach, but I have to admit I am getting sucked into the drama of it all more and more. I don’t like having a relationship like this in my life, I sometimes dread going to work because I don’t want to have to interact with her, and I certainly don’t like the way I act sometimes because of it (gossiping, complaining, acting less than my highest self). I’m not exactly sure what the problem is, I think our personalities just don’t match, but it’s beginning to drive me crazy because it’s taking up so much of my energy! How do I make this problem go away?
Janelle, TX
Hi Janelle,
On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…
…that you cannot hope to solve any problem using the
same energy that created the problem.
Whether it’s the endless wars in the world or the
unending quarrels and fighting in your own home, the
problem is the same: conflicting energy. If you want
to change the outcome, change the energy.
The extraordinary aspect of this solution is that you
do not have to wait for the other party in order
to do it.
Do you receive the daily emails from Neale? If not, I highly recommend them, you can sign up at www.nealedonaldwalsch.com. Anyway, the above quote is from the email sent out today, actually, and I believe it addresses your question perfectly. In other words, you cannot fix a problem from inside the problem. You must move outside of it, and actually shift your attention away from it. This approach is difficult for most to understand, because it can appear to be avoidance, and we have been conditioned in our society to attack a problem head on.
I assure you that shifting your attention is actually not avoiding it. It’s “changing the energy”, as Neale articulates above. When we change the energy, we are giving ourselves access to more information, broader perspectives, and yes, solutions. And, as also articulated above, you do not have to wait for the other party in order to do it. This is another great demonstration of how you can always control your experience of something, even if you can’t control the event itself.
So how exactly do we change the energy? What does that look like?
It looks like shifting your attention to things that feel better, to things you can control. You may not be able to control what your co-worker says or does, but you can most certainly choose what you say and do. You may not be able to choose how your co-worker perceives you, but you can most certainly choose how you perceive her. Instead of focusing your attention on what you don’t like about her, consciously focus your attention on what you do like about her. And I get it, that may be difficult at first, but I urge you to give it a try. Even the smallest of things, do you like her hair color? Perhaps she has a nice smile, or she actually does her job really well. Furthermore, shift your attention to things you like about yourself, who are you being when you feel you are being your higher self? What are you grateful for in your life? In your job? What things in your life are occurring that you wouldn’t label as “a problem”?
All of these things, including other things such as meditating, journaling, spending time with people you love, doing things you love to do, help shift the energy. And, while it may appear that you are not directly addressing the problem, you’re right, you’re not. In other words, you are no longer looking at it as a problem, and in time, it no longer is experienced as a problem. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen time and time again.
One more thought for you, Janelle: when you find yourself thinking about this co-worker, try just sending her positive, loving energy, just as she is. Silently bless her, and show her the greatest demonstration of love possible by allowing her to walk the path her soul has chosen to walk at this point. Remember, in the largest picture, your soul and her soul have already made an agreement to help each other out in this lifetime, to give each other a certain experience of yourselves through one another. For a deeper explanation of this, check out “The Little Soul and the Sun”, by Neale Donald Walsch.
(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling. She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Dear Therese,
I am a young stay at home mother of two, happily married, and I am a fairly spiritual person. My life is really good, but I still feel kind of depressed. I read CWG saying that my life isn’t about me, it’s about others, so I give all I can to my children, my husband and I do volunteer work. I think I need some “me” time, but I feel guilty because that might take away from my giving to others. What am I missing? Aren’t I supposed to feel better because I am giving?
Ann in Missouri
Dear Ann,
Yes! You are supposed to feel better, but it isn’t your fault that you don’t. Cultural influences around the world tell us that women are not supposed to be selfish, that they are not equal to men, that they should be ashamed, and that time for themselves is time they should be using to give. They have it backwards.
Ann, you are one of the “others” that you can give to. You are certainly an “other” to those who know you. Are you trying to do all of this alone, or are you reaching out and taking help when it is offered? I know that I thought I had to be strong and independent…but it only isolated me. It is not weakness to ask for help. If it is okay to give to others, it is also okay to give to yourself.
Let me expand on that. If you do not fill yourself up, do you realize that you are not really giving as well as you think you are? When you are running on fumes, even if you are giving all that you are capable of giving, the person to whom you are giving still knows they are not being given the very best you can give. They may not know why something doesn’t feel right and true, but they know it, and don’t accept your efforts in the way you think they should…which means your effort was inefficient at best. We do no one full justice when we do not give ourselves full justice. When we are insufficiently full, we give insufficiently.
It is not selfish to have “me” time, if the intent of that time is to make yourself whole, so that you may give of yourself well. That is the mistake we make in our cultures.
selfish |ˈselfi sh |
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
Sweetie, you do not fit the description of “selfish”. You do fit the description of tired, and needing to fill yourself.
Taking “me” time can take many forms. The first form I would suggest is simply using the word “no” more often. If you are like me, the kids will invariably come into the bathroom whenever you are there…close the door! I even wrote a poem once called, “The Temple That is my Bathroom”! quiet, personal time, consciously taken, does not need a special space. Take a bubble bath, or long hot shower, and shave those legs or use that loofah for more than 10 seconds…consciously enjoying the delicious time taken just for you. Meditate…there are many ways of meditating that don’t require you to sit for an hour, including simply being aware of your breath, or stopping for a moment and noticing who you are with respect to your surroundings.
There are grander things, of course, like taking a short vacation by yourself, or with your spouse to get reacquainted, going to two movies in the same day, auditioning for a play (not volunteering, unless it allows you to move into an area of joy you don’t usually get to experience), or sending the kids off to grandmother’s for a week. Consider going on a retreat.
“Me” time is essential…and you should also thank your depression for helping you to be aware of what is not working for you. Depression gets a bad rap in this world. Yes, there are people who are clinically depressed, and that is a very different thing, but most of us are called by depression to do something very simple…to stop…and listen to our bodies and our spirit, and recognize what is not working. Pay attention to it. It could also be a sign that you are not eating well, BTW, so remember that you are a mind/BODY/spirit being.
So, sweet Ann, be selfish. You just might find your full magnificence if you are!
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
