Sleeping with the ‘enemy’
To Amanda, the “enemy” describes her devoted and loving husband of 25 years, Phil, a staunch republican.
To Phil, the “enemy” describes his beloved wife and life companion, Amanda, a proud democrat.
Phil and Amanda are partners in a relationship where a large portion of the principles and ideologies they believe in and subscribe to are starkly different. When I first heard about this particular couple, my first-blush reaction was one of disbelief. How could a vibrant long-term partnership not only exist or merely get by but actually thrive within a framework constructed upon so many contrasting points of view? Which led me to the follow-up question: How important are mirroring core beliefs to the vitality of a relationship?
Can a romantic partnership bridge the obvious gap between hot-button topics like pro choice/pro life, gay marriage, death penalty issues, and taxes?
And putting aside for a moment whether it “can”…must it?
A belief that a partner must share and embrace parallel understandings about most, if not all, of life’s day-to-day happenings could be the very thing that is blocking an experience of our highest potential and greatest remembrance. As we long for and seek to find relationships that support our already-adopted set of beliefs and firmly placed perspectives, perhaps we are overlooking the possibilities held within a relationship of distinction, one whose promise is to provide the highest and grandest opportunity for self-creation. Conversations with God, Book 1, teachings say, “If the world existed in perfect condition, your life process of Self creation would be terminated. It would end.”
Couldn’t the same be true within the context of our intimate relationships?
Differences within relationships present opportunities to experience oneness without the requirement of sameness. Whether our partners are interested discussing the most-recent debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney or having a conversation around last night’s yoga class or perhaps the day’s events at the office, a partnership will continually invite you to create a space and be present in the same way each and every time: fully, mindfully, openly, and lovingly. Not because the particular subject matters – politics, gardening, yoga, football, knitting, book club – but because the person with whom you share your journey, your beloved other, the mate of your soul, does matter.
Therefore, it is not important that we agree, but rather that we resist the temptation to be “right,” consciously inviting the full expression of life into our realm of possibilities. And as life has demonstrated to us again and again and again, we are most often provided some of our grandest opportunities within the disguise of that which we resist.
In the upcoming 2012 election, Phil will vote for Mitt Romney and Amanda will vote for Barack Obama. And they will thereafter continue on in their sacred journey, a partnership of their souls, expanding in the appreciation of their diversity and operating out of their deeply held belief that the essence of love is freedom.
And THAT is a concept that has my vote!
(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)