If I say “I love you,” will you say it back?

Isn’t it heartwarming and wonderful to watch very young children, two-, three-, four-year-olds, who express and demonstrate their love so spontaneously and unreservedly?  It’s not unusual to hear the collective sound of a harmonious “awww” from observers on a playground witnessing two new young friends sharing in an impromptu hug or unforeseen kiss on the cheek. These children live in pure awareness.  Their love is unfiltered, not yet programmed, authentic, allowing them to exemplify the level and kind of love we all yearn for but have somehow forgotten how to experience.

But why have we forgotten?

At some point in our childhood, we are exposed to and told to believe in a different kind of love.  This different kind of love works swiftly to reprogram what we come here already knowing:  that we already ARE love.  This different kind of love then works tirelessly to convince us that if we “do this” or “be that” or “do things in a particular way,” we will finally earn and be rewarded the love of another.  Haven’t we all, at some point or another in our lives, yearned to hear the words “I love you”?

But what do we really mean when we utter these three words to another with an underlying hope that we will, in turn, hear “I love you” back?   To say nothing of the paralyzing fear that the possibility exists that we may not be the recipient of another’s confirmation of love.  Would it be possible to be in a relationship where the knowing of one’s love was so palpable that the desire and need to hear this verbal affirmation would no longer present itself?

Somewhere along the way, in an attempt to capture the essence of love in a way that makes sense, we boxed it into our language, as we do many of life’s esoteric ideas and concepts, and formulated our own version of love.  We have minimized, twisted, stretched, warped, contorted, and manipulated this small but powerful phrase — “I love you” — to the point that its meaning is almost spiritually unrecognizable.  We hinge or hasten our expression of love upon some need-driven expectation of what we may or may not receive in return.

Imagine a world where we did not condition our love, or the expression of it, upon an assurance and acknowledgment that we will be loved back, a world where everyone demonstrates their love freely, openly, and unconditionally, where love was not bartered over or bargained for.  I have, on more than one occasion, found myself asking the question:  Are we even capable of experiencing unconditional love for a period of time beyond an occasional moment or two?

And the answer I receive is that if we fully awakened to who we really are – all of us – we would never place another condition upon our love.  We would not need to prove love’s reciprocity because we would already know and feel its omnipresence.  Fear and doubt would never cause us to hesitate in expressing our deepest gratitude and affection to anyone, as we would no longer buy into a perceived need to self-protect; but rather we would each place into the world our highest intentions and actions, giving freely from the source of our own abundance, understanding that the entire purpose of our being here in the first place has very little, if anything, to do with ourselves…and everything to do with all those with whom we share our path.

I once saw an interview with Tony Robbins, the well-known motivational speaker, where he was asked if he gets nervous before he walks out on a stage in front of thousands of people.  His answer was (paraphrasing):  “If I thought that going out on that stage had anything to do with me, I would be nervous, tongue-tied, struggling to find my words.  But going out there has nothing to do with me.  It is about those people in the audience.  I am here for them.”

That, to me, is unconditional love, giving your gifts absent the necessity to receive anything particular in return, a choice and demonstration of your Highest Self which arises out of a deeper understanding of why you are here.   Unconditional love asks, “Who am I in the room to heal?  And how will I let them know I am here?”

Perhaps as our world continues to shed its Old Cultural Story, the one which carries with it a “different kind of love,” we will collectively begin to once again behold the world as our playground, just as we did when we were children, spontaneously and unreservedly declaring and expressing, returning to Love and a remembrance of Who We Really Are.

(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com)

 

 

Comments

7 responses to “If I say “I love you,” will you say it back?”

  1. Brady Werner Avatar
    Brady Werner

    That was one beautiful article. Thank you, keep up the good work!

  2. Therese W. Avatar
    Therese W.

    Ummm…only one thing to say, right?

    I LOVE YOU!

    T.

  3. Laura Pringle Avatar
    Laura Pringle

    Thanks for another thought-provoking, well-worded article! 🙂 And what a topic!

    Aaaah, love. Such a short word, with so many levels. A long time ago, in a metaphysics course or something, I read a bit about Jesus questioning one of his disciples about what kind of love he had for him.

    My memory isn’t the greatest, but I think there were quite a few different levels revealed, until they finally got to “agape”, which seemed to be the highest, most profound, self-sacrificing kind of love we associate with Jesus. THAT’S what I feel love is.

    I believe that “love” is too narrowly defined and understood by most people. Love is a verb, someone once said to me, and I feel this is true in my heart. That feeling of attachment we get for each other isn’t actually love, but is a symptom of it.

    It’s the desire to be there for someone if they need you, or the willingness to leave them alone if that’s what they need, or just simply have acceptance for them no matter what they do, or don’t do… because you aren’t in need of anything from them. Yea…that’s love. That’s what we all want to have in our lives. 🙂

  4. Lisa McCormack Avatar
    Lisa McCormack

    I feel such a deep sense of gratitude for you all and your presence not only here on The Global Conversation, but for your contributions to our world by placing yourself in it with intention and purpose.

    I am honored to co-author a New Cultural story with you that promises to be a real page-turner!

    Love and blessings…Lisa

  5. Lloyd Avatar
    Lloyd

    Again, Lisa, your words resonate within my being, thank you. Love is about giving, and the flow of Love is eternal, and there is no end to the Source from which it flows. What limits our ability to flow Love, we do. Our fears of pain, of lack, or worthiness within Ourselves, seems to be the basis for not allowing Our Love to flow Unconditionally through us to the ALL. Thanks for your kindness in sharing your wisdom and Love with ALL. Namaste’
    Butch

  6. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    Thank you Lisa for your interesting article!!!

  7. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    About love!! Beautiful words!!!

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