Unto Thine Own Self Be True…

Dear Therese,

I had dreams and plans that had to be put on hold because of family circumstances.  I made promises that I sincerely wish to keep, but I, none the less, find my mind wandering to those dreams and plans more and more.  I don’t want to back out on my promises to others, but I would really like the opportunity to follow my dreams.  What can I do?

Darla in Fargo, ND


This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78-82

Dear Darla,

In CWG terms, betrayal of yourself, so as not to betray another, is the greatest betrayal of all.

Why?  Because there is no other.  When you betray yourself, your giving is tinged with the energy of betrayal in all you do.  You serve no one as well as you think you are serving them.  In some way the people to whom you made the promises know that you are giving from your lack and not your fullness…and that means they know that at least some piece of you is far away from them.

It has been my experience that when I finally let go of the notion that I am the only one that can do something, or that I only have one way of fulfilling my promises, those promises have a way of still being kept!  One way of importance is that I enable others to step in and take the burden off, enabling them to demonstrate their greatness.

When we think that we are the only ones who can do something, or that there is only one way of having dreams fulfilled, we get frustrated.  We move into expectation instead of preference, which is so very limiting…and why do we keep limiting a limitless Universe?

Perhaps you could give a thought to fulfilling your dreams where you are?  Have you looked at the possibility of combining old and new dreams?  Maybe you can include the people to whom you made promises in your dreams?  Maybe they are ready for an adventure?  Consider, also, that you are where you are for a reason, if only for now.  What are you being called to look at?

Of equal importance in this process is this:  Once you have decided it is time to be true to yourself, you must also tell the truth to yourself.  Admit all of the negative as well as the positive emotions surrounding this.  You may find that there is something entirely different than you think driving your feelings.  When you tell the truth to yourself, Darla, then, when you talk of changes to the others you wish not to betray, they will know they are hearing the truth.  This does not mean that they will react in a positive way necessarily, but it does mean that they will know, if only on their soul level (only??), that you are being true to yourself, and by extension, them.

Finally, be Grateful for it all.

Gratitude for all that is, is the engine that drives what is to come.  Yes, difficult sometimes, but can’t we all look back at our lives and see how something that seemed “not good” at the time, turned out to have one heck of a silver lining?  Look for that silver lining right now.  If you can not see it, know that it does exist!

I know that’s a lot to take in, Darla, so take things as slowly as you wish right now, and when/if the time is right to make a change trust yourself.  It may be kind of scary, but know that it is also an adventure, and an opportunity to experience Life as fully as you can!


(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net . She may be contacted at:                                                              Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

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