How can I receive God’s help in order to not take on others’ pain?

I am a 31 year old woman, living in South Africa. I work for an NGO that deals with domestic violence. I work in the administration office as well as in the reception, but because we are under-staffed, I often do basic counseling for clients. The environment has changed me and made me rather highly sensitive. I cry myself to sleep weekly because I feel the pain that these individuals go through daily. It pains me so much that I feel paralyzed, not knowing what to do with the amount of violence in our country.

I want to be 100% sure that it is His voice that I am hearing and not mine, so that I can receive solutions step by step like in the 3 books. I think that is all everyone wants. Your help will be appreciated… May

Dear May…

If you go back and read pages 4 and 5 in Conversations With God Book 1, you will find the answer to your question of discerning whether it is God talking to you. It says, “Mine is always your Highest Thought, your Clearest Word, your Grandest Feeling. Anything less is from another source… The Highest Thought is always that thought which contains joy. The Clearest Words are those words which contain truth. The Grandest Feeling is that feeling which you call love.”

Those of us who work in the helping professions must create boundaries that protect our well-being. We must mentally separate ourselves from those with whom we are working, lest we take on their problems as our own. For how can we help anyone if we are dwelling in sadness ourselves? We simply can’t let anyone take us down with them. Our jobs are to lift people up!

Would it help for you to remember that everything is truly in Divine Right Order, and that anything that looks otherwise is nothing more than an illusion? When we are surrounded by negativity, it is of the utmost importance for us to remain steadfast in our faith that God knows exactly what It is doing, all the time. No exceptions.

You mention that there is a lot of violence in South Africa. Do you realize that every single person on this Earth, even if they seem to be violent villains, goes back Home to God? There is no path that doesn’t eventually lead to God, yet some paths certainly seem to be more fraught with chaos than others. Conversations With God says that there are no victims and no villains because God is all there is. It shows up in ways that are hard to recognize sometimes, so it’s very important to trust that given the benefit of hindsight, we will see the perfection that may not be obvious to us now.

I, myself, was once involved in a relationship where anger escalated to domestic violence on a regular basis, and I can tell you now that I am grateful for the experience! It opened up the space for all kinds of wonderful things in my life, including healing the relationship with my mother, and the opportunity to marry my soulmate. Talk about a happy ending!

The best thing we can do for another who is in pain, is pray for them in the affirmative. Not cosmic begging or pleading; rather, knowing for that person that he or she is Whole, Complete and Perfect, and that anything that looks otherwise is not the truth. I hope this helps, dear one. I implore you to shield yourself from others’ misery. Ask God to help you in every waking moment, then pay attention to your feelings as you are guided. Remember the guidelines for discernment I mentioned above. Then walk as closely with God as you can, in order to be strong enough to do the work you came here to do. Perhaps the serenity prayer might help:

“Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Amen and amen.

(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at

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An additional resource:  The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.



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