Looking at a Larger Reality:

(This is the third in a series of commentaries on Happiness, and How To Find It.)

In our last commentary here we pointed to the fact that life gives all of us the opportunity to heal an old injury, to close an old wound, to alter an old pattern, to shift an old reality, to release an old story, to change an old idea, and to create a new experience of Self. In other words, to be transformed. And thus, to be happy in and with our lives. Finally. And not just for a moment here or there, but until the end of our days.

Okay. That’s saying a lot. And you might now ask, “How is all this possible? How can all that healing and change occur?”

To see this clearly you must observe, with Gratitude. Life’s most wonderful gift: Reliable Repetition

To explain: You can depend on Life to be repetitious. Very few events or situations arising in your life will be much of a surprise to you anymore. Not in the sense of your never having experienced anything like them before. How you are going to react, then, can actually be anticipated by you, and you can reject your prior decisions about such events or situations if you wish.

And that is Life’s great secret. The greatest secret is not the Law of Attraction, but the Law of RE-traction.

This is a tool used to retract old decisions and make new ones, instantly. That is what true creation is all about.

When you bear witness to your responses to Life’s current events and immediately retract what you decided in the past about similar events, you give yourself almost unimaginable power—including the power to end struggle and suffering forever.

Buddha demonstrated this precisely, and taught it.

It is Gratitude that gives you this power. Gratitude gives you a Fresh Start. It is like being born again, and having the Mind re-set to zero. It wipes the slate clean of all prior negative judgments that you may have held about any person, event, circumstance or situation.

At the risk of a little Repetition right here, let’s review from a slightly different angle how the whole Process of Life works, so that you can see all of this even more clearly:

Within an astonishingly short period of time following your birth, you came into contact with—then analyzed, assembled, and stored—a monumental amount of data about your exterior world. You did this so efficiently that after only a few years on this planet, it became almost impossible for you to encounter any new experiences. New events, yes. New experiences, no.

This is by design.

You are not supposed to encounter new experiences. You are supposed to encounter the same experiences over and over again.

The experiences you are encountering repeatedly are inside of you, not outside of you. All experience is interior. It is events that are exterior. But events have nothing to do with your experience. The proof of this is the fact that two people can have distinctly different experiences of the exact same event.

So we see that you can encounter any number of new exterior events, but one can have virtually no truly new experiences. And the older you become, the more this will be obvious to you. Indeed, this truth will evidence itself exponentially as each year goes by.

You have already experienced this.

You have already experienced love, and you will no doubt experience it again. You have already experienced animosity, and you will no doubt experience it again. You have already experienced commitment, and you will no doubt experience it again. You have already experienced betrayal, and you will no doubt experience it again.

You have already experienced disappointment and excitement, agony and ecstasy, frustration and exhilaration, exasperation and exaltation, anger and joy, agitation and peace, loss and gain, fear and fearlessness, cowardice and courage, ignorance and wisdom, blah’s and bliss, confusion and clarity, and just about every other emotional polarity that one could describe or imagine.

The reason it was said that all experience is interior is that emotion is the sponsor of your experience, and all emotions are created within. Events are simply outer physical occurrences. It is the emotion you hold about a particular event that creates your experience of it. And there are no new emotions for you to experience at this stage of your life. There is an endless number of unique events which can and will be physically presented to you by Life, but the emotion generated by the event, and the interior experience that this emotion produces, will be one which you have encountered before. In most cases, many times before.

The Mind remembers its experiences. Every one of them.






And now we see the reason for this.

Your Mind has been designed to hold in memory literally millions of experiences in order for you to notice that you are encountering conditions and events in your exterior world that are the same or nearly the same in their emotional content as you have encountered before.

The noticing of this is, in turn, intended to offer you repeated chancesliterally millions of chances—to respond differently to conditions and events (both past and present) should you choose to, thereby recreating yourself anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever you held about Who You Are.

We see, then, that a single Life offers in miniature what reincarnation offers in “maximature”: limitless opportunities to evolve.

This is the Process of Life in all its forms.

Scientists tell us that even the Universe is evolving. Do you imagine that you are not?

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  • Awareness

    Very intelligent exploration Neale Donald Walsch 🙂

    The Law of Gratitude is Given 🙂

  • Neale,

    [I am drafting this offline in the hope the WiFi will at some point let me post.]

    In that I-don’t-believe-in-coincidences way of Life, I had just this week begun writing a piece about the repetitive nature of the challenges in my life, and my gratitude that I am with my best friend/roommate while she undergoes similar events.

    I won’t rehash here how I went from childhood victim to adult victim to therapy leading to survivorship to forgiving leading to healing and thriving to being grateful making it possible to move into compassion for all. (Well, OK… I summarized. 😉)

    What I have found is that (as I put it) making new choices about what perspective I have when I look at my past changes not only the effects of those past events, but the choices I have in actions during present events. Additionally, I’ve found I can also make choices in advance about how I will act when similar events come up.

    To use a graphic example, I now understand that rape isn’t sexual act, but rather an act of power, violence and control involving sexual acts as their ultimate expression. I know because I made the choice in advance that I will not be victimized by rape again.

    One can only have power over my physical form, which is not Who I Really Am. One can commit violence against my body, but my Soul will not be touched by another except to understand the anguish they must be in to commit such an act. One can control my body through sexual violation, but through my nonparticipation my heart, mind and Soul can remain free. Even my very physical life is mine to keep or forfeit.

    The gratitude I feel about having that freedom of choice gives me not a sense of giddy happiness, but of deep serenity and Joy.

    All of that may be much easier said than done, but as often happens, once I consciously made that choice it was tested. When someone chose to attack me a couple years ago (and it may have been for a simple mugging), they did not gain what it was they were expecting: no fear, no fighting, no begging. It stopped them because they didn’t know how to respond. Since this has already worked for me once and I now have that success in my history as well as my pre-choice, I know I can handle such a situation from even more of Who I Choose to Be.

    Being willing to revisit and reframe the past, altering one’s viewpoint, deciding to change perspectives (such as seeking a larger perspective that includes no victims and no villains), including others in larger and larger pictures of our worldview… These are all choices we can make in our lives.

    As Life would have it, nearly every choice to change or expand my perspective has brought others into my circle that are experiencing what I have already had to face. My greatest sense of gratitude comes from my being able to walk with them so they don’t have to walk alone, as I did. It brings me my greatest Joy… even while homeless and with no more food and belongings than I can carry.

    I will return here soon, but am not yet sure when. Meanwhile, I Love you All!


    Spiritual Annie

    • Thanks for sharing.

    • Beautiful Annie. Thank you for sharing. Namaste.

      • Leah,

        Thank you for the compliment. It’s good to see you here! I know your own story is very moving. (We know each other from other social media sites as well.)

        Love and Blessings,


    • Kirsten

      Hi Annie,
      Last year I looked into your reincarnation path, as all the records are now in courts for judgement day purposes with the judging Christs, so I can ‘see’ them.
      I held off saying this, as I hate being a dork but feel mean for not speaking up.
      Annie, you are one of the many people, whom for whatever reason, has no reincarnation path. You ‘jumped’ into a body at the last minute to protect a soul or physical sister from the monster father as he was going to abuse the physical body of Little Annie anyway. Many people have no path….first lifers like me, those who chose not to die when they had prearranged to, those who have changed so much the path wont suit the etc. Its kind of like a limbo life, where there is no set home determined for you, people are in and out of your life, no spouse or life partner, there are no jobs for you etc. Most have to be self employed and have casual relationships, or homeless shelters, caravan parks and charitys are full of these people. You have to ‘make a life’ cos its not going to happen like it does for everyone else. I spoke to my Christ teacher when you said you were homeless in Dec, and if you are ready, can give you a little guidance, you can take a friend with you. Im not a medium nor overly psychic but all I have is that you need to find ‘home’. Home is where you and the environment fit perfectly together, home is out there waiting for you now. I have no idea where you live but it has lots of people but is quiet, the gardens are very pretty and landscaped with a kind of zen look, theres a water feature that it kind of rocks in a steps pattern. The kitchen is quite big like for 50ish people and I can see carrots peeled into roses like Thai restaurants have and almost dead silence around you most the time. You will be inviting yourself there to live, it is a long term home for you. I think its a matter of you emailing, phoning or writing to places and saying ‘hi Im Annie and Ive decided I want to be where you are, if you have a spare little room ready I am on my way, all I need is my little room and I will be working for you as a live in volunteer with board provided in lieu of payment. Im middle class ‘white’ so my impression may be distorted but if feels to me like light housekeeping and cooking duties or similar. Eventually you will be an asset and will have a paid position and some education. It could be a camp, resort, buddhist temple, semi cult, ranch thing, rehab centre, mental health facility etc. I cant tell as Im not allowed to know. You will win over an older asian woman who will take you on handing on her knowledge so she may be a healer or something. There will also be a male life partner, although ploutonic I think, whom you will bring out of his shell. A funny, but quiet gentle hearted man.
      Since it will always be a life you are creating for yourself, and inviting yourself into, it will always be there for you, whenever you are ready to find ‘home’.
      Take care,

      • Kirsten,

        I am the type of person who appreciates information from all sources, and I thank you for your read on my incarnation. You have mentioned my “jumping in” before, in other comments.

        My perspective, however, is a bit different. I gained this perspective from a collection of sources including the Akashik records, animal guides, spirits from “beyond the veil,” journeys within, astral travel, numerous psychic readings, numerology, my study of spirituality and the world religions, and the patterns in my own life (among other sources). The common themes appearing in those sources are many.

        I have been told over and over that my wisdom comes from many physical incarnations–so many that I am considered an “ancient” of sorts who now always voluntarily incarnates and always in very challenging circumstances in order to assist others. I most often do this by being an example of just how much we are all capable of when we turn inward to create change. Maybe that is where your information showing my “jumping in” comes from.

        (BTW, unless that “little sister” chose not to incarnate, I saved no one from my father as he spared none–not my full-blood siblings and known/acknowledged half-sibs, not his numerous ex-wives and partners, and not the other adults and  children I suspect he violated in one way or another while he was in a position of power, when he also had access to a Day Care Center.)

        Also, another theme I would think your readings should reflect is that there is no one “Little Annie” but rather (in this incarnation) 10 “alts” from a preborn to an ancient and ageless “Wise Woman,” all with their own physiology and mental constructs. Some have been part of “me” through many incarnations. I appear here as “Annie,” the collective of them all. I have come to believe my Soul has always been such a collective.

        I have had an incredible long-term “life partner,” although she has now passed. I began working at age 13 (both paid and volunteer), and found my career by age 19. That career was as a Civil Engineering Tech (field work rather than a desk job), over the decades moving up the ladder, changing attitudes and breaking glass ceilings.

        It’s true that I am now differently abled and cannot hold a traditional job (but I’m not sure I’d again want a traditional job or career). Many others are also without such jobs these days, some by force and some by choice. One example: my youngest sib, who has an MA and is working on a PhD in Info Tech, was recently laid off by one of the largest tech companies in the world–despite years of history with the company, expertise at the atom-smasher in Naperville, IL, being named the “Whiz Kid” of a generation in a national magazine, and a genius-level IQ. My point is that the world has changed. Long-term jobs are no longer the rule.

        The same can be said for not having a stable, physical place where I live at the moment. Who these days does? There have been places I’ve lived for years, even decades, before last Fall. Yet since before then, I learned that my “home” is wherever I find myself. Right now that includes motels and illegal “homeless camps.” The Zen and serenity you may be picking up on may have more to do with my understanding of my true home, which doesn’t exist in this physical reality but which I carry with me. My true home is the Source of existence itself and I am only as far away from it as my forgetting sometimes takes me.

        Again, these are my “reads” and as such are open to interpretation based on available information, which is often limited. You are certainly entitled to your own, and I note our sources are different.



        • Kirsten

          Hi Annie,
          I completely agree about home, everyone should get to the point where they are always at home within themselves, therefore wherever they go is home. I was merely referring to a physical home you can find and create if you choose to.
          Yes you are right about a very old wise soul, which is why people often reincarnate at the last minute to protect others, as they know they can get past it and move on and grow, rather than allowing other souls to be too damaged. It was a ‘soul” sister, not physical. I know nothing about anyones physical lives, we can only access reincarnation records when they in the hands of courts for karmic or punishment consequences, nothing else. I do not even know where you are, or if male or female.
          I am not reincarnated and never will, Im a first lifer, just a baby, and very lucky to be born into a cruisy world, free from suffering. No first lives for anyone include suffering, first life souls have to be nurtured by those above as the consequences fof causing suffering to a first lifer are ten fold, and eye for an eye.
          ‘Little Annie’ is a reference to your physical body as a child, that is how the Judgement Day courts work. All victims are anonymous, and all are now judged for crimes of suffering against the physical bodies, in compliance with out legal systems on Earth. The tables have been turned, incorporating our legal systems so the souls cannot use reincarnation as an excuse for anything anymore. About time! As people now pass over they in for one heck of a shock as reincarnated souls will also be punished for any suffering or ‘crimes’ they pre arrange to happen to the child physical body they inhabit, effectively taking their Earth criminal record with them.This practice is no longer permitted and hasnt been since Dec 2012, which is a huge success for those of us who fought our butts of fof this Law to be passed in.
          Yes, the world has changed for the better job wise. I could not fathom one boring career. I myself have a shop (Im a cake decorator) that pays the mortgage, but I downsized it so whilst at work I can also do my studies and a 2nd job that I much prefer (preloved clothes shop online). I would go loopy with just one job, as I think most people do without realising. If you truly want to brainwash someone, send them to work in an office for 40hrs a week!.
          Take care of yourself Annie,

        • Kirsten

          Hi again Annie,
          Now I am finally able to read more thoroughly after a hectic day, I think you are right because the images I could see and feel were quite preplexing to me. I think I was ‘reading’ your collective, rather than external people, and it would certainly explain why there were so many contradictions like a place with a lot of people, but always stillness and silence around you, I had originally thought you may be deaf but know better than allow my own interpretations to influence. Perhaps it is your Heavenly home, I am unsure, except it is something for you to find, rather than something that will be presented or offered for you to accept.
          Yes my source differs, I am under the Biblical God and Christ realm/levels that He oversees, and as a first lifer, have nothing to do with the Afterlife, reincarnation or anything associated with either. Scripture is my familys history as I am a Israelite, and since Israelites are not reincarnated, the only ‘people’ I would encounter would ever be those who are righteous enough to overturn the Laws of mortality to be able to be immortal and eat from the Tree of Life (as I have done). If we dont make the grade, we are mortal when our bodies on Earth die so are assigned teacher/overseer or Angel at age 21 to keep us on track.
          May I ask what country you are in, or were raised in? No need to answer if you choose not to obviously.
          Take care,

          • Spiritual_Annie


            No problem here about answering questions. I’ve been so “out” about who I am, where I’m from and all my “issues” for so long I don’t really know another way to be anymore. 😁

            I grew up in Missouri, USA, in the conservative Midwest. But if what you’re looking for is background, my ancestry is just as important in shaping my life as where I was raised. My family (as I was oft told) is 100% German, except for an ancestor who meandered to Alsace Lorraine while it was being fought over.

            My farming ancestors left long before the wars, in large part due to the flipping of society from matriarchal to patriarchal that caused some of the witch burnings near the Black Forest. The women in my family had learned the use of what Nature offered in the way of healing herbs, salves, poultices, teas, etc. They were also midwives, though that was simply part of their “job.” Considered to have too much power through knowledge, it was leave or burn.

            By the time I came along, my mother’s mother was the one who carried on those traditions, oddly in concert with the family having converted to Roman Catholicism. I wish today that I had the wisdom held in her “recipe book,” but it was never found. Also oddly, she was the first to marry a “townie” who worked his way up in the railroads and became a cigar smoking, whiskey drinking, conservative Republican.

            So, with conservative values all around me and incredible levels of violence and mental illness on my father’s side, I was quite the abstract peg trying to fit in a square hole. Fortunately, I affected them as much as they shaped me. 😉

            I’ve read the Torah and Talmud (English translation, decades ago), as well as many versions of the bible and the banned books. I once learned a bit about Kabbalah, but “outsiders” couldn’t learn much back then. Do you mind some questions?

            When you mention being an Israelite, I think more of Judaism than Christianity, yet you mentioned Christ judges. As I think of it, the Israelites are the direct descendants of Abram/Abraham and Sarai/Sarah, often called “the chosen” because YHWH chose Abraham to birth a nation/peoples. It appears you have a different definition as you mention Israelites as “first lifers.” Is there a way to easily explain this to a long ago lapsed Catholic?

            Just curious…



          • Kirsten

            Hi Annie,
            Thanks for sharing. It astounds me that such childhoods and abuse can exist in the western world.
            My family history is that as a Kiwi in New Zealand, I am a ‘mongrel’ in terms of ancestory as NZ was founded on English people being sent here to colonise in the 1800s to save their lives from famine etc. The entire country was under 40 year olds, and the single females were selected based on looks, health and IQ, to be good breeding stock and wives. It is obvious to many is was like a 2nd Exodus of Israelites, and all the money in NZ was from the Freemasons and wealthy Jews, it still is, like the entire western world. Tne west is what scripture calls ‘Gods Empire’ and is the work of Abrahams family….Israelites…”a father of many nations”. My female relatives came to a beautiful French settlement called Akaroa on this basis. Meant to be since we still look French, as my family were French Jews in England until the murder of Jews there, so faked conversion to Catholicism then converting to the Church of England as Protestants. A hatred of the Catholic church is still ‘in my blood’ as is medical knowledge and a passion for Law. Funny how family lines stay in our blood, imbedded in our souls for generations. My other side were always farmers and came to NZ as guests of the British army, with kids in tow. As a family they worked for a wealthy military member and got given a farm when they arrived here. I grew up very normal, in what was then paradise for kids in the 70s, with young ‘cool’ parents, a teddy boy and wanna be model, with loving grandparents etc. There has been no known abuse, poverty or suffering in my family on either side for 4 generations.

            Yes Judaism is the religion of Israelites, but since God is the Universal God of Law, as polulations grew, it branched into two. It was originally governments/military and everything run by priests. Religious Israelites/Jews stayed as Gods religion…btw scripture states you are Jewish if born to a Jewish mother, otherwise you need a 2nd baptism and contract into Judaism, and Law branched off into Governments and Kabbalah. In scripture Kabbalah is Jacobs Ladder, and the Tree of Life journey. Yes Kabbalic groups are kind of secretive since the Catholic church through history killed them as they were a threat to power, as we are all kind of Apostles ‘chosen’ but most Kabbalah work is published, we basically study Law under Christs. Most of it is coded so we are like detectives unravelling it all to ‘read’. Hans Christian Anderson, the Freemasons, Einstein, Leonardo di Vinci etc, the royals of England etc were all Kabbalists. This is what scripture refers to as ‘seek and ye will find’, ‘leave no stone unturned’ and many proverbs are about. We use “language is the key” to work stuff out and study. I dont belong to any organisation, it is just my path, but I have completed that part of my journey and have done my Christ papers (final exams of having to determine at least 500 Laws from above that we can see on Earth).
            By Israelites being first lifers, and not reincarnated is in scripture. ‘Kidnapping an Israelite is punishable by execution, there is Law and freewill and thats it, God is a God of the living not the dead” but mainly Hebrews 9 & 10 “This is the covenant I will establish with the House of Israel….I will put my Laws in their minds and write them on their hearts”. Minds are our thinking part of the soul, and hearts are obviously our heart chakra with passion, love and desire. Basically we have souls with stuff already programmed into them based on Gods Laws (we could never hurt anyone nor an animal, never steal, never cross dress even for a fancy dress party, never have any form of statues or graven images including garden or house ornaments, hate new age stuff and witchcraft, could never overeat or get obese or drink much alcohol etc”. I guess we are kind of clones with slightly different souls to others, just as Pacific Islanders have different souls to Europeans. There are around 20 sub races of the human race, Israelites are just one.
            With reference to Christs, the role of ALL Christs is to bring Law down to Earth, enforce it, and later to judge and punish their own people. God oversees them all and ultimately determines all Law. Most teach in code, Kabbalic style, hinting at the Law so people can decipher it themselves when they get to that level. Buddha is the easiest example of a discreet Christ at work, coding Law as life tips and pretty teachings. Behind everything he says is a Law. They will all try to discreetly teach and help their own. Hindi Krishna is under God, not the Hindu Gods, as are higher Native Americans etc. All have a ‘subject’ and a speciality for judgement day…mine is males who have sexually abused and tortured children or anyone under 16. These ‘physical bodies’ are my clients, and I will ensure each and every one of ghese males, past life holograms or anything I can find even vaguely aiding them will rot in hell for eternity even if I have to make that hell with my own hands. And I will, its my destiny. One I know of has the Law Yshua spoke of “you are not to overcharge people for food” as his Law…the food police, because his juristiction covers the entire food chain, slavery, greed, wealth etc.
            Christianity is manmade, mainly by a…holes wanting power, especially over females as they know many many Christs are females and that God and the Universe highly revere all females, but the word Christianity literally means the same as my name, annointed and consecrated to God and a follower and teacher of Laws from the Christ Realm, under God. We call Christians either Believers or groupies, as the term is insulting to most Christs when they are no better than non christians, often worse. The term new agers throw around of Christ Consciousness, is a state of mind when you and Law are one, your soul has Law at its core so you consciously think and speak with Law being you. In this state you no longer have a sub conscious mind as you have been tested and studying Law for so long that you have no secrets or things to hide so your sub con is uploaded to you conscious mind and YOU. All of this is completely automated so its a great point when people are open and have nothing to hide!! 😊
            I am a Kabbalah Master but do not teach on Earth unless people ask questions specifically, for the main principle of Kabbalah, like Einstein and all guides, it to teach people to learn so they truly understand within themselves, rather than teaching people facts or words, which may remain external.
            Long post….sorry! And apologies for typos, Ive got to go move a car!!
            Take care,

          • Spiritual_Annie


            Thank you for your information and being willing to answer my questions. And, as far as I’m concerned, no post is too long so far as we are exchanging information and learning. But, then, it’s not my site. 😊

            I had to take a break from posting for a bit. My bestie was mugged (tho physically safe), her benefits card drained and her phone stolen. I needed to focus elsewhere for both our sakes—emotionally and financially—but I’m certain things are already working out.

            When I first read your reply, I nearly got on one of my favorite soapboxes: that of the deep, dark secrets of horrid abuse including rape, torture and brainwashing of children in the USA. But, I regained my senses. (Well, mostly.)

            You mentioned so many people I have long been attracted to in a spiritual/mastery sense: the Buddha, the (as I see him) Master Jesus, DaVinci, Einstein, Native American Elders, Freemasons (who I believe are the keepers of the secrets of the Knights Templar)… even Hans Christian Anderson.

            I agree with much of what you said about Christianity, especially the Roman Catholic Empire. I don’t even like that they use the term “catholic” as it means “universal” and I feel it’s sooo far from it. I believe, from my studies, that it was James (Jesus’ brother) who was meant to continue Jesus’ teachings. I have not liked that so many people overlook that Jesus was raised in Judaism, never denied his faith, and certainly never (I feel) intended to found a new religion. In my opinion, Peter and Paul hijacked the “movement” and perverted the message. Their followers then needed the organization of the church in order to control people and their wealth, especially the women and especially the followers of the Marys. One has to “mine” what there is left of the message for the original meanings.

            I also have felt drawn to the Tree of Life (and trees in general) as both symbol and path. I’ve been surprised at just how many different cultures use a version of the Tree of Life. One of the most powerful visions I was ever gifted with was a form of a Tree of Life that was particular to those wounded in childhood. This tree grew from a gaping wound in the ground. With the vision came a good deal of information. There was that the wound “opened” the ground so that the original seed could take hold and the tree could take root and grow. There was that the roots reached far beneath the wound to find the natural nourishment provided by Mother Earth, as well as the branches that reached upward to receive the sunlight, air and rain. There was that the roots themselves, through their natural knitting, provided protection of the wound and aided in its healing. There was knowing that, somewhere between the roots and the branches, the miracle of life took place in the mixture of the two forms of Nature herself. It’s the only sculpture I’ve ever made, which became a gift to the therapist who helped me most, when I was finally ready to do the work I needed to do.

            I really like conversations like this one that we’re having, with questions and openness about who we are and what we believe. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to reply.

            Hope you didn’t have to push that car. 😄

            Love and Blessings,


          • Kirsten

            Hi Annie,
            Nice reply, thank you. I completely agree about conversations, a ‘thing’ I have is that I will only converse with people, about matters associated with people and animals. As soon as people talk like a programmed robot, disassociate matters from ‘us’ like a third party or forget our lives are about US, not facts, then I switch off. Our personalities are our whole core, so as far as Im concerned if I cant see, feel or read an individuals personality then I may as well talk to my cats!! Or the lady that lives in the supermarket check out machines (self service ones).
            Beautiful story about your sculpture. Yes the Trees are common to every belief. Did you know the Tree of Life is hand in hand with the Tree of the University of Life? They are both a Macadamia Tree (I have a huge one in the middle of my garden..no fluke). Its where the saying ‘a hard nut to crack’ originates from, like all sayings…they are all peoples published ‘findings’ for those who seek understanding, to find. In Kabbalic terms, everything is a tree as it is the main fundamental used in putting anything together.
            The University of Life has subject branches, with twigs, leaves etc. The education system is based on this, as was life until the 80s when entitys gained force to stop our progress. Its a list of compulsary and voluntary skill we need in life, to keep us entertained, independant, skilled and to allow us to fulfil our potential to be a complete/rainbow human. Girl guides and the scouts and similar movements are a huge part of this, all Kabbalic groups. We get one point for each leaf we gain from birth, and progress up the Tree of Life requires certain credits and numbers of credits to progress. If you look at anyones life its really obvious! And a huge part of why females tend to do something for an hour then give up. Once we have tbe credits we can stop. There is a first aid and medical care branch, art, sewing skill, woodwork, sciences, travelling, office work, cooking, baking, therapy, caregiving, animal care etc. Think of the hundreds of tbousands of leaves we all have!! To undertake the elusive ‘road less travelled’ which is the road to true wisdom, a million credits are required, Moses oversees this like a guide as he is like the Patron Saint of Wisdom. Humour is mandatory with this path and very few are handpicked for it. Just something to interest you, and perhaps a little hope that no matter how lives pan out, everyone has equal opportunity in the things that count (Ive spent 16 years as a working single parent), and every tiny thing we do serves a higher purpose, even swinging high on swing. These credits are fun to get if people get bored or are unemployed!
            HUGE YES about Yshua and christianity. They have attempted to steal him, and I think Paul is the biggest douche to ever walk this planet. Ive decided he was either gay when it was forbidden, or had erectile dysfunction, but of course the Catholic church exhaulted him, as a women hater. Note how God said priests should be married!!! Not that they care what God says!! Or even Yshua. Sometimes I wonder if they are a actually satanic. Who knows? I dont want to know either!

            So sorry to hear about your friend, people are so horrible. They have no idea how much they affect peoples lives and the on going effects. Sad!
            Nope I didnt have to push the car, but why my son needs 3 cars and has a company work van is beyond me. Maybe I will get pushing……..off a cliff or onto a demolition derby track!
            Anyway take care Annie,

          • Spiritual_Annie


            Personally, there are often times I prefer my conversations with cats to those with unthinking/unfeeling people. I fully expect to someday be “that crazy cat lady” with a huge brood of felines. And I’ll love it. (Hmmm… maybe that’s part of the crowds you were picking up on. 😄)

            Paul is a mystery to me… not only in what he (supposedly) said but in how his (supposed) words came to be so twisted. Most of what’s been found that’s attributed to him are letters to specific churches addressing specific issues. I don’t believe they were meant to be universally applied. And I’m even more baffled about how he came to be so revered as an “Apostle” even though he never learned directly from the living Jesus.

            There is a school of thought that Paul was indeed a closeted gay man, but if I remember right it was based on letters believed by scholars to have been written by others using his name (especially those about men controlling women and lots of references to “members”). Personally, I think the Roman Catholic Empire was set up on power and control through guilt—even about something as natural and spiritual as sex. (And how did Peter become “a rock” when he doubted and denied more than any of the other disciples? Oh, well…)

            I was a Girl Scout for years! I started as a Brownie (prekindergarten age) and went all the way through Juniors, where girls are prepared to become assistant leaders. My sash was so full of badges that I ran out of room. I liked the challenges, but for me at least part of it was simply about being good at something because my biological father brainwashed me into believing I’d be a failure. Still, some of the lessons stuck because I’ve recently used them while in homeless camps. Sometimes it surprises me when I find a use, years or decades later, for something I thought I’d have no need for again.

            I like the imagery of the branches and learning leaves. My favorite tree is the Baobab. There is no part of it that cannot be used in some fashion, even as a sacred burial space for shamans. Its fruit can feed, the sinews of its bark made into rope and clothing, it naturally collects water in arid areas. For me, it represents the symbiotic relationship I believe we’re meant to have with Nature. (It’s also a curiosity because it doesn’t have growth rings like most trees.)

            More inquiries… I have run across many different types of spirituality hidden underneath religions. One that has interested me I’ve found is ancient and runs underneath several, including Judaism and Christianity, and that’s Gnosticism. Is there a relationship between that and Kabbalah? Or, in other words, is the path always one of strictly learning, or is there also getting to a place of knowing?

            Three cars? I gave up driving when it became far too anxiety producing to maintain just one. I had it for 20 years before it became a financial drain. Go for the derby! Maybe you’ll win some money. ☺

            Love and Blessings,


          • Kirsten

            Hi Anniem
            Im one cat away from being crazy cat woman, I have 4. Isnt 5 where you have crossed the line? All very different, equally lovely and odd, Ive never ever lived without a cat. They find me and move on in. An old dottery cat across the rd has joined the herd, altho very loved and spoilt, every day he is waiting on my driveway at 515pm with my cats for his dinner and watches me hang out the washing like they all do. My groupies!!!! Little wierdos!
            Yip, Paul and some of the others are certainly oddballs. Ive just put them all in the ‘wannabes’ catagory, but I am naturally suspicious of anyone odd and wonder their agenda. Easy to see why he was imprisioned so much, Yshua said not to force relugion on anyone for it is a freewill choice…perhaps it should be a punishable offence, Id lock Paul up too!!! Being annoying is enough reason. Life is too short to have to tolerate annoying people, especiall born agains like him! If reincarnated now I bet hes a JW pestering people like a know it all git.
            Ill look up the Baobab Tree, it sound like it has very strong meanings. Good spotting. Our favourite things will always be a reflection of us, no matter what it is.
            Yes Gnosticism, Alchemy, Kabbalah and all teachings have the same core, and that is Law and Truth. Every teaching and religion has the same basis, people just use different words and esplanations for what they are explaining to others. I just use the word Kabbalah as it is the only word now still in use, that has no association with new age shennanigans, and people will have heard of.
            You are right about learning, and knowing. Gnostic, Alchemic and Kabbalic thinking would be that we have to answer our own questions, as these questions are a part of intuition, instincts or truth seeking, so are something we ask as we are at a stage where we NEED to know. This is a type of intuition, identified as ‘pondering’. This is why I know I MUST answer peoples questions, or I can block their progress. To answer your question, which you have already answered yourself based on your wording of it…first there is learning, then truth seeking then you evolve to where you become your own teacher, guided by higher realms like Christs whom use signs you may notice, intuition discreetly disguised as instincts and your soul has developed to a point where universal truths are accessible to you via your own ‘knowing’, often mistaken for psychic gifts, which are similar. Again, its all a tree as we grow from children needing to be taught, to intuitive adults with knowing where we can answer all our own questions. Its called Fish Thinking, where you become able to answer questions off the top of your head, so in Kabbalic teaching terms, every student is a teacherm and every question is an answer for someone, whether it be the questioner or the ones learning new info from their own answer. Yshua was a Fish Thinker, everything fired at him was answered off the top of his head without a need to process info. Thats the parable of him as a fisherman btw. His teachings are a bit of an autobiography, thats just how a form of majic works without us noticing. A part of positive evolution is when we are at ine with the info we are speaking of, so tend to include ourselves in the story. You do this btw, as I do, and Mewabe, its a good and normal thing, and a humble trait as the Universe is kind of forcing you to include yourself in your own progress.
            When you look at a big tree with all those leaves, access to The Source via the sun, oxygen and our needs in the air (intuition and knowing from above) then there is very rarely any need to look outside yourself to answer anything. Thats the point in the University of Life. I did a huge lot of all my papers using knowing. Everything I am talking to you about is the result of my pondering, knowing, intuition, instincts etc, Im completely self taught, thats how I know its automated and its all still the same as in pre literacy days.

            Id love to go in a demo derby. As long as I can win!!! Ill send you the prize money, Id just want to kick butt! Thats priceless to me.
            If you ever read the Trixie Belden books, Im Trixie, in fact Im reading my prized set again right now. A friend bought me Trixie Belden tshirt just this week, from Iowa! They are Kabbalah books, and about Heaven and how kids and teens rule there. God brainwashed me as a Kabbalist as a kid..pondering, mysteries and problem solving, kicking butt, crushes on boys and learning is all Ive every known..the annoying why, how etc kid! Autism!!
            Anyway, another long post, Neale is very patient sometimes! Or asleep! I know his triggers that get my posts deleted, or when Im officially spam!!
            Take care,

          • Kirsten

            Annie, I forgot to tell you something when you told me of your heritage. Before that I thought you were Asian, your energy feels asian from looking at your name.
            Im unsure if your father ever articulated this, in relation to his negative feelings toward you due to club foot or a foot disfigurement, but there is an old European superstition that indicates that when Satan or the devil has won or wants your soul, you will have ankle deformities.
            This is derived from Genesis where the Serpent strikes at human ankles, but we had the blessing to strike at his head. The superstition is completely opposite to the truth, and from illiterate days when people believed the word of the few who could read. No need to guess who??? Our dear Catholic friends and brainwashers! Distorting the minds of bored gossipy housewives.
            Its actually the opposite, yes he still strikes at our ankles, I had a freak incident of a fractured leg just above my ankle the day I started typing Law papers (thank goodness for padded ugg boots, Im far to cool for a moonboot and a fast healer). It is a sign that evil are threatened by you, and try to stop your journey of fighting them or one of great faith (feet mean journeys), so should be a highly reverred thing, and a badge of honour. War wounds from past lives, or a destiny in this life, to wear proudly. Everything on our bodies that is different is a scar, win or lose, it doesnt matter cos at least youve tried!!

          • Spiritual_Annie


            Now that you mention feet… You’re close. When I was turning in the womb, my feet caught on my mother’s pelvic bone (common, but back then they didn’t attempt to get them unstuck). As I continued to turn, my feet and legs didn’t, so the bones were curved and the joints weakened. I wore casts the first year, then night braces (that ought to be considered torture themselves), then walking braces until I was about six. My narcissistic father didn’t see it as a sign of the devil, but of my mother’s (supposed) infidelity because no child of his could be imperfect. (The oft heard phrase was, “Your mother must have really scraped the bottom of the barrel when she s*****d whoever it is that’s your real father, judging by the way you turned out.”)

            But, he was also superstitious. With me, the “sign of the devil within” was a strawberry birthmark in the shape of a reverse letter J in the center of my forehead, which he called “the mark of Cain.” It was quickly gone (as shown in a photo at eight days), but never forgotten as he used that as a twisted excuse for him to do whatever he felt necessary to beat and torture the devil out of me—a form of exorcism. With one of my brothers, it was being lefthanded, despite the cerebral palsy that made his right hand useless. Again, an excuse for abuse, which (back then) was reinforced at the parochial school he attended where he was forced to try to grasp a pencil and write with his useless hand.

            It’s awful how some people who are ill use superstition with religious overtones to twist and condemn, especially when they’re far from saints themselves. In my father’s case, still a self-proclaimed catholic, he cheated on my mother with (at least) her best friend who was a nun at our local parish. When it became public knowledge, we were shunned while he was able to purchase an annulment (turning us seven children into “bastards” in the eyes of the church) so he could marry the (ex)nun in the church and legitimize my half sister, a nine and a half pound “preemie.” Go figure.

            I regularly twist my ankles, sprain my knees and my hips dislocate. But (as always, in my opinion) not all effects are negative. I was a heck of a soccer forward (football, in Europe) because I could “flip kick” with my pigeon toes without my opponent having a clue it was coming. I was incredible at gymnastics as a kid because my joints were so loose. And, I could also hyper extend and lock my knees letting me stand for long periods, serving me well during my protest days.

            Is it five cats? Well, then, I was already the crazy cat lady a couple of times when I took in whole litters in order to save them. 😁 I really miss the cat my landlord stole—a 5-1/2 year old Maine Coon I raised from five weeks old. Being catless sucks. 😯

            Love and Blessings,


          • Kirsten

            Hi Annie,
            Thanks for sharing. When were you born…..1625? Nutters and sadists are attracted to the church like flys. Gives them rubbish based excuses to be cruel, even though they distort everything and are biblically illiterate. Cains mark means no one can kill or attempt to kill you. Ive asked God for it..many attempts on my life! From invisible beings, mainly former guides etc. Funny thing is after id asked for it I found my ‘knowing’ changed, I stopped drinking tap water, still white wine, using moisturisers (parabens), certain toiletry brands, using normal deodorants etc. I guess the list of things that feel ‘banned’ must cause cancer or something. Ask God for it.
            A friend has that hyper extension thing, in her late 30s shes now getting the affects but shes hilarious to watch. When she needs to touch the floor for whatever reason, her legs are straight and she just folds herself in half like a moron and doesnt bend her knees. Hyper extension is such a funny thing to witness, I find most things funny. Boy my kids got off lightly, one is left handed and my daughter engaged her head early against my pelvic bones and was born early so was born with a broken nose and swollen side of her bruised face, looking like elephant man. And a rare auto immune disease frequently gave her a face rash and oddities. Thank goodness she was born when she was in this era or she would have been in a wheelchair by age 6. She was in remission by age 5, and is a tall slim blond beautiful nurse now so no ongoing effects except her nose is slightly crooked. I think your dad would have left her at the hospital!!!!
            Gymnastics ruined my ‘boy’ life….my mother has coached at top level and judges at international comps too, I grew up in gyms so by the age of 16 my idea of normal was that all guys are nice and have perfect bodies. To this day I still think bodies need to be very toned or I aint touching it!! Needless to say, beach trips are a must so I can suss guys out to determine if I even want to get past a coffee with them. Ill qualify for spinsterhood soon, not many are up to my standards when guys are over 45!!!!!
            Disclocated hips….ouch.
            Maybe the ‘home’ I saw is a live in position in a cat or animal refuge….mad cat woman heaven!! Would explain the quietness and nice gardens! Haha. We got our beautiful boy from crazy cat ladys house, shes an official monitered spca foster parent of the lil ones BUT my God. She had cages everywhere, maybe 200 kittens, house reeked of pee, dishes mounded to the ceiling, as with mountains of washing, fat yuck husband and teens blobbed out in hoarderville. Never again. Her hearts in the right place, but definately crossed the line. Cages were all clean and kittens well cared for tho, so I guess she just has different priorities and a lazy family that dont pitch in.
            Maybe you can get a ghost cat, we have one that appears every few months, unsure if its here permanently or not. My cats can see it more than we do obviously, goodness knows where it came from, perhaps it was drawn here cos it thought I was crazy cat lady so found ‘home’. We did have a little boy spirit here too so maybe it came with him, and my wolfhound dog visited for a while after she died at age 13. Maybe it was her pet cat she found somewhere and dropped off?!
            You certainly do form bonds with them when raising them from babies, how sad for you, and your cat to be parted.
            Do you see any residence changes on the horizen, you shouldnt be in your current situation Annie? A really good Headspace Law that is very helpful when people have adapted to having very little is what I call the Jewish Gold Coin way. I learned it from Jewish people resettling after the war and having to start over, without much. If you take one gold coin ($1) and go to an op shop and invest it in something, a clothing item is good, then sell that item on ebay or something to profit a gold coin ($1). You have made a 100% profit on your investment, something investors would dream of. Then invest your $2, $4, $8 etc again, taking out your original $1 investment. It really works, and empowers you as a clever ‘investor’. I started doing this two years ago starting with $1 to prove my theory as a psychological experiment on myself. Its now my 2nd job as I ended up i investing my $500 profits in a shop lot of 500 items. Doesnt make me rich but for two or three hours a day I now have $2000 saved, Ive had an extra $1000 a month income and have over 1000 items in stock to sell. And a huge wardrobe of good label clothes myself as I find lots of treasures, plus lots of treasures that sell well like Levis etc. Books work well too. Ill erase this after its gone through as a reply to you cos its my secret weapon!!
            Take care Annie,

  • mewabe

    Patterns of experience repeat themselves until the issues behind them are resolved or healed. Patterns are symptoms, the underlying issues are the causes.

    Attempting to change our experience by changing the way we respond at such patterns might work. But it requires vigilance and a degree of control, which seems unnatural. The simpler and more permanent way is to heal the deeper inner issues that create these patterns. Then there is no need for control.
    To understand this however, one must also understand that nothing “happens” to us. We create everything that occurs in our lives. There are no accidents. To therefore change our creations requires deep inner healing, if we want such creations to be pleasant. In other words we might have to face our inner demons, if we don’t want to encounter them in our lives.

    The point then is not to change how we react to unpleasantness, but to eliminate unpleasantness altogether by eliminating the need for it, through deep emotional and psychological healing.

    • mewabe, my friend,

      I once again am moved by your ability to express ideas and beliefs so well. I think we often speak of the same things, but with different words in part from our own cultures and perspectives.

      You also take those ideas to deeper levels than those I express of my own, for which I am grateful. I love the food for further/deeper exploration.

      Much Love and Many Blessings,


      • mewabe

        Thank you Annie!
        Love and blessings to you!

    • Kirsten

      Hey Bob,
      Indian Summer here…Heaven!!
      Its so ‘different’ reading about reincarnated people, I actually find it all quite sad that people are actually born with issues. Its all concepts that are so difficult to fathom, us first lifers are so different. Very laid back and would never be born into abusive or traumatic lives, and since none of these things are ‘planned’ for us, its all so diffrrent and easy to have faith that a child wont die, we will never be homeless, we will not die young, our house wont burn down etc. Even fear etc are foreign concepts. Its like a complete clean slate or canvas. Everyones first life will always be trauma free, Im lucky to be born in these modern times BUT I do think most people are a gizillion lightyears from how their souls/first lives started out. Reincarnation seems to do more damage than good in my view.
      Take care Bobtree,

      • mewabe

        Hey Bobcat!
        I am a mix, if you want to speak in reincarnation terms. Yes I came back here partly to resolve a difficult past life that remained unhealed (another personality of mine was tortured and killed by the Church in Europe centuries ago, thus my very intense dislike of Christians of all shades but especially Catholics and everything associated with them) and subsequent issues…while at the same time having had the feeling of being born in this life “under a lucky star”, protected and guided from above, gifted (I am not bragging, I mean that I have been given the artistic gift, a true present which I haven’t yet used to the full extent), blessed in many ways, and with the feeling and knowing of having the “law” (divine) literally “written in my heart/soul” (for this reason I was always surprised, even while very young, how others could break such law with ease and seemingly without a thought about consequences).
        Reading your description of an Israelite below I could easily fit. I have the exact same aversions.
        About reincarnations I think most people fail to learn their lessons, and instead accumulate more “karma” or damages to resolve later. It is in a large part because the world is focused on physical and psychological power rather than spiritual power. People strive to solve problems at the material level.
        This is my last reincarnation in this dimension. I have lived 10 lives into one, lived in 3 countries etc…and I am not done yet, I am still a teenager at heart!
        Take care Bobo

        • Kirsten

          Hey there Yogi (ok Im changing the other bears name from booboo to bobo, 70s kids tv show set in Yellowstone Park).
          Thanks for telling me stuff Ive already told you, you really need to get that dementia sorted, I hear weed is good for it. Teenager at heart…did you mean at fart? I think Im forever 33 inside, problem is trying to get my external body to read the freaken memo and stop aging!
          Yes Bobtard (yes, Im calling you retarded), I only told you a few years ago you were an Israelite, with a Native American guide working from the Law position on the same Tree as Israelites as both are related and I was asked to give you a leg up to get you through blocks to The Source, God and Law. I warned you I was good at my job, and can use female manipulation to do what I need to do…until you open up, relax and willing give me the info I need instinctively. Ill bill you later!!! The lost sheep and goats of Israel always get rounded up!
          If you ever get a bible, look us Moses and Abrahams blessings to see if you can spot your tribe. Im a Levite, but with Judeah traits as well
          I actually think all Israelites hate Catholics!! Ill ask a few Rabbis. It may be in our blood or ‘download’. We ‘hate’ a lot, just as we love a lot……you are a lot more cloned and controlled than you would like to think. If you go through a bible its hilarious how we are programmed to hate what is forbidden. Trannys…gulp!! You feel mean especially things like arm stumps and acne etc. And how we have oddities like kissing animals foreheads. I could tell you how you fold your towels, what you wear, what you eat, who you like, house stuff you would like etc. Its funny being cloned!!!
          Its so hard to explain ‘knowing’ via intuition. I did nearly all my Law papers and assignments via knowing and intuition. I just had a photography assignment to do, to Gods high standards….I chose the easiest and coolest subject ever, Victorian NZ. Lucky I live by a museum thats a Victorian village…and typical me they had a coin entry open day thing on. Thats an Isrealite thing, part of blessings!! I must say, my photos are great. No ghosts that I can see…bonus!!
          If you want to study Law I can send you info on a memory stick, only 500 pages, unedited and unfinished, but passed. My retirement fund!
          Anyway late here,
          You take care Bobforapples,

        • Kirsten

          Test for ya….watch the last 15 minutes of the movie Pitch Perfect 2!!