Conversations with God
A person named “Wendy” wrote to tell me of an ad she saw on television. In this ad the person states, “I was an addict for 10 years, now I am not.” Wendy wanted to know how could someone claim such a thing when everyone knows, “once an addict, always and addict.” Here was my reply:
There are many paths to enlightenment and there are many ways to recover from addiction. I, for one, do not call myself an addict anymore. I find that labels tend to attract their own definition into our reality. I do say that I am a person in long term recovery from addiction. The distinction is that I am fully aware of the power of the disease of addiction and the cunning nature of the human mind. I have accepted that I have little to no control over mind and mood altering chemicals when they are in my system. Therefore, I do not partake in the lifestyle or activities that include drugs and alcohol in them.
So, for this person to say they are not an addict doesn’t concern me. A tiger always has stripes though even if we change its name. Watching the behavior and actions of another is the true definition of who they are. If they say they are not an addict and live a clean life they are in recovery. If they say they are not an addict and continue to do drugs and alcohol and exhibit the behaviors associated with addiction then they are just in denial.
Recovery to me is more than abstinence. It is a way of life, a way that includes self discovery, a softening of the personal agenda of life and a growing desire to lift others to greater heights. Recovery is about examining our behaviors and our beliefs and bringing them into alignment with who we wish to be. Recovery is a decision to face life on life’s terms.
So how do you help someone who is in denial about their addiction?
Well, if they are still exhibiting addictive behaviors you refuse to play the game. You speak from a place of authenticity and you tell them your truth. In Conversations with God it is said that “Yet despots cannot be allowed to flourish, but must be stopped in their despotism. Love of Self, and love of the despot, demands it.”
Addiction and despotism are of course not the same thing, yet the goal should be the same for all of us who claim to be loving beings. We should desire for each person to experience themselves in the next highest version of the grandest vision ever held.
Being vocally unwilling to enable the addict and refusing to take part in the lies, deception, and depravity of the disease is the best way to help someone who is experiencing it. They may cast you out of their life, but the pain of turning away someone they love for a substance will eat away at their conscience. Pain stacked up on top of pain will drive the addict to the tipping point we refer to as “the bottom.” The bottom is the place where the pain of using the substance is greater than the pain of facing up to who we have been.
The 12-Steps of anonymous programs work for some and not for others. There are other methods of recovery that work as well. Desire to recover and change is what it all boils down to. I am not going to advocate programs that claim to be able to help people modify their usage. I personally feel that is a path that all addicts have tried on their own with no success.
Alcohol is not something that is needed our useful to the human body. Anyone who claims to truly love themselves would never ingest even a drop of alcohol. I also believe the same to be true for other drugs. A person who is working on becoming more self aware, and returning to love, would be best served by being mindful food and chemicals they put into their bodies.
I would like to close this article with the “new Gospel” of CwG.
We are all one. Ours is not a better way, it is merely another way.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
My boyfriend can’t forgive me because for the first year we dated I never invited him to my apartment. I was embarrassed because his apartment is so much nicer than mine, so I was always making excuses not to have him over. He thinks it was because I was unfaithful and living with another guy but nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve tried to explain it to him but he’s still holding it against me. I love him so much and miss the good times we had together. How can I regain his trust?… Mandy
Dear Mandy,
You’ve learned the hard way, I’m afraid, that relationships can’t prosper fully when one is intentionally withholding information from another. That said, if you’ve sincerely apologized and explained your reasons and he still won’t forgive you, it’s probably time you have a heart to heart talk and try to find out what’s really going on with him. Set an intention for clarity and honest, open, peaceful communication. Here are a few talking points that might help get you started:
The way I see it—and please correct me if I’m wrong—if you haven’t yet forgiven me, it must be for one of these three reasons:
1. Because I haven’t explained why I did what I did, well enough for you to understand. I’ll gladly try one more time if you want me to.
2. If I have explained it fully and you understand what I’m saying, but you choose not to believe me, there is nothing I can do about that.
3. If I have explained it fully and you understand what I’m saying and you do believe me, but you choose to hold and carry a grudge, there is nothing I can do about that, either.
Are any of these scenarios true for you or are you using what I did as an excuse because you don’t have the courage to tell me that your feelings about me have changed? Or maybe you never really felt the same way about me that I feel about you?
CWG says there is nothing to forgive; there is only to understand. God fully understands the reasons behind everything we’ve ever done—what our fears were, what our thought processes were about that fear, and why it drove us to make that “mistake” (of course, there really are no mistakes in the Universe). That is why we need not ask forgiveness from God. Even before we ask it is already given.
Also, Mandy, we must always understand and forgive ourselves if we expect to receive understanding and forgiveness from others. This is how the Universe works at a metaphysical level—it reflects back our own thoughts about it. So perhaps the larger question is, Have you forgiven yourself?!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
There is something that I have been struggling with for quite a few years now. I guess the best way to describe it is to say that I am afraid of my own success, my joy, my happiness. I KNOW all the teachings of Conversations With God are true because after I came to the teachings about fifteen years ago, my life, as I knew it at the time, changed. It was the only time I have been so close in alignment with my Soul/True Self. I was creating all that I desired at that time and I was soooooo at peace and tranquility with all. I miss this!
I KNOW I’m not disconnected from Spirit or my Soul, yet this is how I feel, and I can’t seem to reconnect. I can’t seem to MAKE MYSELF do the things that will enable me to “connect” again. I can’t get my ego to do the “work” to grow further. I can’t seem to commit to meditation, knowing full well how important and beneficial it is to my Soul, and I have found myself getting bored with the messages and teachings at my New Thought church. It’s like I’m sabotaging my own happiness.
Someone once told me that this fear is probably due to my deep down feeling of not being worthy of all I deserve and can have. She said, “It scares you to think that you CAN have the material things, money, joy, happiness etc…” She also said, “You wonder what would happen to you if you did get it all.” So I guess my question is, “How do I make myself get over this fear, because frankly I’m tired of not having it all!”… Carrie
Dear Carrie… The way I see it, fear of success is quite different from feeling unworthy of success, so the first thing to do is to get clear. Which is it? Do you agree with your friend that you feel unworthy? Look deeply into your Sponsoring Thoughts about success and happiness. The fact that you had deep peace and tranquility and desires fulfilled fifteen years ago makes me wonder if either of these two scenarios are true. If you harbor either of these fears now, logic implies that something would have had to trigger them after your time of deep joy, peace and success. Is this the case? Can you trace the roots of your fears to anything specific that happened? If you can identify what that was, then you can begin to heal it. Remember, what you resist persists and what you look at deeply ceases to have its illusory form.
It may help you to know that I, too, sometimes feel that the teachings at New Thought churches can become, shall we say, redundant. Many of them seem to be stuck in what I call “Law of Attraction 101.” As Neale would say, this is child’s play. Please don’t make yourself wrong if this is how you feel too! Remember, feelings are the language of the soul and they are there to guide you. As a student of Conversations With God, you may realize, as I do, that the CWG messages go waaaaaay further than what Science of Mind or Unity teach. Remember, the people who founded those churches lived roughly a hundred years ago. Back then, they were ahead of their time, but now they are actually behind the times. I think that’s why New Thought ministers are constantly looking to current New Thought authors such as Neale, whose teachings go into infinitely more detail about Life and how it works. Please don’t get me wrong: I love my church and am very grateful for it. I also realize they are filling a great need because so many people are just beginning to embrace these larger understandings about God and Life.
I suspect, dear Carrie, that these feelings you’ve been experiencing are perfect messages from your soul which is trying to remind you (literally to “re-mind” you) that there is more—much more—to be understood about life, the understanding of which would change everything for you. I think you may simply be hungry for your mind to catch up with your soul’s knowing of how things really are, and once your information is more complete, you will again find yourself in the same place you were fifteen years ago when you first discovered CWG.
I would ask you which books in the Conversations With God Cosmology you have read and if you missed any, please read them right away, in the order in which they were written. You might even want to strongly consider going back to Book 1 and reading all of them straight through the list. I promise you, since you are different now than you were fifteen years ago, you will have many new “aha” moments!
At the risk of making this column too long, I am including the list here for you, along with an explanation of each book. If, after reading all of these, you still have fears or questions, please feel free to email me again. I think, though, you will begin manifesting more joy, peace and success into your life automatically as you move once again—and this time, thoroughly—through the material.
Blesséd be, Carrie!
THE CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD COSMOLOGY:
CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD Book 1
The First Installment of an extraordinary trilogy, Conversations with God marks Neale Donald Walsch’s initial dialogue with God. This book discusses personal issues such as prosperity, relationships and the nature of spiritual truth—with God providing clear, understandable answers. Further than the author’s conversation with God, you’ll realize that your own understanding and your own conversation with God is the true subject matter of this unforgettable text.
CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD Book 2
The second book of the extraordinary Conversations with God trilogy by Neale Donald Walsch deals with global issues such as education, politics and human sexuality.
CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD Book 3
This third book in the Conversations with God trilogy by Neale Donald Walsch is about more universal issues such as the nature of the soul, space and time, and highly evolved societies. Many consider this the completion of the basic text and a superb segue into the next part of the series.
FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD
The essence of the message lies at the heart of faith—the sacred place in every person, where we stand alone with God. Each of us must forge our own unique relationship with God, a God who is everywhere and speaks to us in all we do. It is up to us to stop and listen. It is up to us to respond—to begin the conversation. And a conversation is the first step—just as in any relationship—in establishing trust, in building friendship, in creating communion. Largely autobiographical, in Friendship with God, Neale shares the next part of his journey, and leads us to deepen and strengthen our own bonds with God.
COMMUNION WITH GOD
Now God reaches out again…offering you wholeness…communion. Now you will know the God who believes in you. You have come here to learn, through your own experience, that God resides within you. You have come to have a meeting with the Creator—a Creator who is within you and all around you. And in order to do so, you must look beyond the Ten Illusions of Humans.
THE NEW REVELATIONS
When you recognize these illusions, you can change the way you think. When you accept that they are only illusions, you can change what you believe. And when you live without them, you can change the world.
TOMORROW’S GOD
Purporting to be the dictation of a direct conversation with God, it places before humankind an unexpected prediction that our species will create a new God in the very near future. Gone will be the histrionics, requirements and commandments, judgments and punishments of Yesterday’s God. Tomorrow’s God describes in detail the character and characteristics of a future Deity whose only emotion is total love for all of humanity and life itself, and whose agenda includes no other objective than to empower life to produce more life, more abundantly and more gloriously in each moment. Striking in its theology and expansive in its cosmology, Tomorrow’s God offers the world a path out of its unremitting despair and a just-in-time detour on what many see as a journey to self-destruction.
WHAT GOD WANTS
Be Careful. This book is dangerous. It explores with startling freshness the most important question you could ever ask, and offers with breathtaking courage the most extraordinary answer you could ever imagine. That answer is so theologically revolutionary and so spiritually empowering that it could change the course of human history. If embraced it most certainly will change your life.
HOME WITH GOD: IN A LIFE THAT NEVER ENDS
This is the last book of the Conversations with God series. This is the book that readers of CWG have been waiting for…when Neale asks and receives answers around the experience of death and dying. The inspiring and poignant messages contained in this dialogue are life-changing and spirit-renewing.
CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD FOR TEENS
Adults are not the only ones searching deeply for answers to the major questions of life. Neale had another conversation—one in which he speaks to God about questions raised by teens around the globe. It’s a simple, clear, straight-to-the-point dialogue. The answers may challenge beliefs about God, money, sex, and love—about everything you may have been taught. Further, you’ll discover that it is not really the author’s conversation with God that matters. It’s your own conversation.
HAPPIER THAN GOD
Since the publication of his stunning worldwide bestseller Conversations with God (over two and a half years on the New York Times bestseller list; now published in 37 languages), Neale has been telling readers that a new understanding of God can change lives and change the world. In this book, he expands on that theme by exploring how ordinary people can work in direct collaboration with God to transform their everyday lives into extraordinary experiences. This is not a book of spiritual theory; rather it provides a plan we can use to change our lives. Included are “17 Steps to being Happier Than God.” This is a plan that combines the best of the conceptual truths from his 9-book Conversations with God series with “The Process of Personal Creation” to turn those concepts into practical tools for altering life for the better—forever.
WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGES CHANGE EVERYTHING
This book speaks to the heart of every person who has lost their bearings in the aftermath of a major life change and to those who would help them. A strikingly clear and useful text, it offers wonderful tools for healing and living, including a new psychological model of how to combine the “Mechanics of the Mind” with the “System of the Soul”.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I recently met a woman who I believe wanted a close friendship with me. I have moved to a new community and was keen to meet people and have accepted her generous offer a few times to drive me to venues I would have problems getting to on my own, for which I have thanked her and was grateful for her kindness. Over the course of our newly developing friendship, I found I have no rapport with her no matter how much I tried. In fact, I found her behaviour disturbing. For example, she would yell out, cursing at people legally overtaking her and others while in traffic, and even more disturbing was that she would call me everyday leaving the same monotonous message each day. I returned her calls a couple of times letting her know that I was okay and there was no need for her to be calling everyday. Then, there’ll be the same message, the same dialog the next day and the next and the next. I have a feeling she probably had been drinking when she called, so I stopped returning her calls. In line with CWG messages, how would I handle this situation? What would you propose I do? Also, meeting people like her is not new to me. I seem to attract people with such “weird” personalities into my life quite often. What do I need to change in my personality so that I don’t attract such people anymore? Thank you and best wishes… Gail
Dear Gail… Although I do believe in the Law of Attraction, I think it’s a bit of a New Thought trap to think that there is something inherently wrong in our personalities when we attract strange people into our lives. While it may be true that there is something your soul wants to move through in these circumstances, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong!
Please remember, the Law of Opposites exists to give us choice points. To paraphrase a foundational tenet from Conversations With God, “In the absence of that which I am not, that which I am, is not.” In other words, we can only define ourselves by being aware of something different than us that we can use as a benchmark.
You ask what CWG would recommend in regard to your relationship with the woman who you suspect was drinking and with whom you don’t want to associate anymore. I would invite you to look at the Five Levels of Truth Telling from CWG Book Two, as well as one of the 17 steps to being Happier Than God: “Speak your truth as soon as you know it but soothe your words with peace.” The four levels of truth telling that would apply here are, “Tell your truth about yourself to yourself,” “Tell your truth about yourself to another,” “Tell your truth about another to yourself” and “Tell your truth about another to that other.” I find the fourth level to be the hardest one, because confronting someone with my truth about them feels very uncomfortable. When I am brave enough to do it, I prefer to write down my thoughts and deliver my truth that way, so that I don’t end up stumbling over words, or worse, not being impeccable with my word. It helps to tell the other, “I could be wrong, but this is how it looks to me, and this is how I feel about it.” When we put the onus on ourself in this way, it helps us seem less judgmental of the other.
Now, of course, you don’t have to do any of these things, Gail. You can simply allow yourself to gradually and organically drift away from the relationship. Sometimes that’s the easiest way out, but just know it can leave things feeling unresolved, and that’s why I think CWG invites us to do more than that.
I feel your discomfort around this. It may help to know that we all have people who show up in our lives who are not easy to deal with, to say the least. It doesn’t mean we are being or doing anything wrong. It’s just what’s happening, so it is of course, perfect! There’s a very good reason CWG says that life begins at the end of our comfort zone. Every uncomfortable situation is an opportunity to choose to be more than we have ever been—to “step up to the plate” and seize the opportunity to re-create ourselves anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we held about who we are. And, interestingly, the more we do that, the fewer “weird personalities” and the more kindred spirits we begin to attract into our lives!
From my experience of working with you in the CWG Online School, Gail, I would bet that you will handle all of this in the most beautiful way possible, because that’s the type of person I have come to know you to be.
In all things, give thanks.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I attended a spiritual retreat earlier this year. Afterward, I had all this strength and clarity and felt so strong! I made a decision to leave my husband, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time because the marriage was a mistake from the beginning. When I got home I told him, and it felt really good to start living my truth and moving my life in the right direction. But then I lost my resolve and let him talk me out of it, because trying to figure out all the details of a divorce seems overwhelming. I feel terrible because I really don’t want to be with him anymore. How can I get back on track and stay there?… Carly
Dear Carly,
It is said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. When making a big change in your life, don’t try to figure it all out at once. Just take it one step at a time, thanking God for guiding you every step of the way. Your feelings are your guidance and they come directly from God, via your Soul. God puts them there to guide you toward the most joyous life you can live, but the longer you continue to disregard the feelings that don’t feel good to you, the longer you postpone your joy.
You already followed the first two steps of Truth-telling: “Tell your truth about yourself to yourself” and “tell your truth about yourself to another”. Yet, you say you’ve wavered in your resolve to act on it. Is it still your truth that you want to leave your husband? Knowing that this is a major decision in your life, please, once again, do some deep Soul searching about it. Then if it is still your truth, you may need to repeat that to your husband, as lovingly and compassionately as you can. You might soften the blow by telling him that relationships don’t ever end—they only change form. Endings can be very hard, so sometimes it’s easier if we think of them as changes, not endings. “We’re changing the way we interact together…”
The way to stay on track is to stay in touch with your Soul, which knows all. You can’t figure this all out at the level of Mind, because the Mind’s information is so limited. However that works for you—prayer, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, chanting… whatever—make it a top priority every day. Better yet, make every waking moment a conversation with God. Learn to trust the wisdom of the Voice within you, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in your life. The more you follow that “still, small voice”, the happier you’ll be. And worry not about your husband, because he also has access to all the wisdom in the world. God is always with him too.
Last but not least, you might find this mantra helpful as you encounter challenges along the way:
“Thank you, God, for helping me remember that this problem has already been solved for me.”
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
I am a 31 year old woman, living in South Africa. I work for an NGO that deals with domestic violence. I work in the administration office as well as in the reception, but because we are under-staffed, I often do basic counseling for clients. The environment has changed me and made me rather highly sensitive. I cry myself to sleep weekly because I feel the pain that these individuals go through daily. It pains me so much that I feel paralyzed, not knowing what to do with the amount of violence in our country.
I want to be 100% sure that it is His voice that I am hearing and not mine, so that I can receive solutions step by step like in the 3 books. I think that is all everyone wants. Your help will be appreciated… May
Dear May…
If you go back and read pages 4 and 5 in Conversations With God Book 1, you will find the answer to your question of discerning whether it is God talking to you. It says, “Mine is always your Highest Thought, your Clearest Word, your Grandest Feeling. Anything less is from another source… The Highest Thought is always that thought which contains joy. The Clearest Words are those words which contain truth. The Grandest Feeling is that feeling which you call love.”
Those of us who work in the helping professions must create boundaries that protect our well-being. We must mentally separate ourselves from those with whom we are working, lest we take on their problems as our own. For how can we help anyone if we are dwelling in sadness ourselves? We simply can’t let anyone take us down with them. Our jobs are to lift people up!
Would it help for you to remember that everything is truly in Divine Right Order, and that anything that looks otherwise is nothing more than an illusion? When we are surrounded by negativity, it is of the utmost importance for us to remain steadfast in our faith that God knows exactly what It is doing, all the time. No exceptions.
You mention that there is a lot of violence in South Africa. Do you realize that every single person on this Earth, even if they seem to be violent villains, goes back Home to God? There is no path that doesn’t eventually lead to God, yet some paths certainly seem to be more fraught with chaos than others. Conversations With God says that there are no victims and no villains because God is all there is. It shows up in ways that are hard to recognize sometimes, so it’s very important to trust that given the benefit of hindsight, we will see the perfection that may not be obvious to us now.
I, myself, was once involved in a relationship where anger escalated to domestic violence on a regular basis, and I can tell you now that I am grateful for the experience! It opened up the space for all kinds of wonderful things in my life, including healing the relationship with my mother, and the opportunity to marry my soulmate. Talk about a happy ending!
The best thing we can do for another who is in pain, is pray for them in the affirmative. Not cosmic begging or pleading; rather, knowing for that person that he or she is Whole, Complete and Perfect, and that anything that looks otherwise is not the truth. I hope this helps, dear one. I implore you to shield yourself from others’ misery. Ask God to help you in every waking moment, then pay attention to your feelings as you are guided. Remember the guidelines for discernment I mentioned above. Then walk as closely with God as you can, in order to be strong enough to do the work you came here to do. Perhaps the serenity prayer might help:
“Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Amen and amen.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
My assistant at my job who I became very close friends with, sabotaged me at work (I loved my job) and with my boyfriend who I was potentially going to marry. I never put it together until ultimately my boyfriend broke up with me, and the company I worked with for 27 years asked me to resign. Needless to say, I have been very sad for a long time and have been searching for healing, answers, something to help me feel good again, feel happy again, put those awful memories behind me, or I pray to bring my ex back but it’s never happened. She ruined my career and my life. I still relive, rethink the memories and feel so sad all the time. How can I get past this?… Cindy
Dear Cindy… I am very sorry you went through such a heart-breaking event. You had a triple whammy, really: losing a friend you loved and trusted, losing the man you loved enough to marry, and losing a long-time job you loved. Wow. It’s certainly easy to see why you have been searching for healing and answers and a way to feel good again.
You say you’ve been carrying this deep sadness for a long time. My question is, for how long? It is normal and healthy to feel sad during times of loss, and for some time afterward. It is not normal and healthy, however, to continue to feel deep sadness long after an event is over, and to continue to dwell on it. In doing so, you are actually continuing to create the sadness in your mind. Has this sadness become depression for you? If so, you may need to see a psychiatrist to help treat it, at least temporarily. On the other hand, if you don’t think you are clinically depressed, then as a spiritual life coach I would say it is time to become pro-active and to take your joy back. I would invite you to notice that that was then and this is now.
You say that your assistant ruined your career. While it may be true that she sabotaged you at that particular job, can you absolutely know that your entire career is ruined? Is it out of the realm of possibility for you to ever work in that type of job again, but with a different employer? What I’m trying to say is, a job is one thing; a career is another.
Likewise regarding your statement that she ruined your life. Dear Cindy, no one, and I mean no one can ruin your life except for you. Do you know what hell is? Hell is what you are putting yourself through by continually re-living these painful memories! It is so important for all of us as human beings to stand at the portals of our minds—to consciously choose to stop dwelling on things that are unhealthy emotionally, spiritually and physically. It is up to us to stop thinking thoughts that don’t feel good. We all have this ability and it isn’t as difficult as it might seem, once we start noticing the painful thoughts and start choosing to say to ourselves, “I’ve thought about this long enough. It hasn’t changed anything. All it does is make me feel bad, so I’m just not going to think about this anymore.” Then we intentionally shift our focus to something that makes us feel better, which can be a thousand different things. It doesn’t matter what you start thinking about as long as it makes you smile, laugh or feel good. It also helps to do something fun. Watch a comedy show, listen to positive music, pet your cat, take your dog for a walk in the sunshine—anything that feels light and good.
I get it, that you would like to understand why things happened the way they did, but if after all this time you haven’t come up with any good reason, then I invite you to allow yourself to move on, regardless. Given the benefit of time, surely some good thing will come as a result of it. For now, I invite you to trust that God knew exactly what It was doing when it brought you this experience. I invite you to rest in the knowledge that God doesn’t make mistakes and that everything that happens is for your highest good, or it wouldn’t be happening. I invite you to take charge of your thoughts and stop thinking about past pains. Start thinking about how you would like to start living now. There is great power in keeping our focus on the present moment, for when we continually dwell on the past (or the future, for that matter) we are robbing ourselves of the potential joy we could be experiencing now. We are depriving ourselves of the gift of life, the gift of the present moment. We aren’t really living at all when we do this. If we have tried and tried to understand something and we still don’t, then we just have to drop it and get on with this thing called life.
Please read Neale’s book, Happier Than God. It contains 17 steps to being happy, and if you start to implement these, I promise you, it will change your outlook on life. Just as you have created your sadness by dwelling on sad thoughts, you can create happiness by dwelling on happy thoughts. You are the creator of your own reality, dear Cindy, and it’s time you take your life back. It’s time you re-claim the joy that is your birthright as a human being. Please, please read this book. I promise, if you follow its advice and if you take charge of your thoughts and refuse to dwell on the past anymore, you will feel happier and happier.
You have manifested a great job and a wonderful man before, so you have proof that you can do it. If you can do it once, you can do it again because you have the consciousness of it. It will be much easier to find another dream job and another life partner when you are coming from joy because you will radiate that out into the world. And speaking of radiating joy out into the world, maybe the best thing I can tell you is this: Conversations With God says, if you want more joy in your life, the fastest way to have it is to be the source of joy for another. Take your focus off yourself, and start focusing on how you can bring happiness to others. The paradox is, when you brighten someone else’s day, you end up brightening your own.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
The grand announcement: “I am quitting drinking once and for all!” How many times are you allowed to say “once and for all”? I know I’ve said it a bunch of times for a variety of different obsessions, compulsions, and addictions, not to mention bad relationships and the occasional snooze-button triathlon! Quitting, for me and many others, just doesn’t seem to work.
One of the most difficult aspects of making drastic changes in our thinking and doing is getting past the pre-wired thinking in our heads. We can’t simply state we are not going to keep doing a behavior that we have engrained in our pattern for many years by saying we are not going to do it anymore. No, it takes much more than that. What needs to happen for a successful transition is a deep commitment, a plan, and support of those who love us.
“Conversations with God” states, “The moment you declare anything, everything unlike it will come into the space.” This is known as the law of opposites. It is the universe, or our soul, or our patterned brain, saying “how bad do you really want this?” This process becomes a huge stumbling block in the life of an addicted or compulsive person. We crave the reward of the object of our obsession and the question from the unknown sets off an internal belief that we need the thing to survive.
This warped survival instinct causes the addicted to fall into the trap time and time again. But the power and glory that is derived from answering the universe with a resounding “yes, I am sure” cannot be understated. The law of opposites is in place for a very good reason. This law is the springboard to our physical, emotional, and spiritual evolution. We could not make that leap without it.
The law of opposites presents the perfect opportunity for us to take full responsibility for our choices. All too often we choose the smaller choice, the painful yet comfortable choice, instead of pushing back on our craving.
So what is this law of opposites and why does it appear to conflict with the law of attraction, you may ask? The law of opposites is simply providing a contextual field for our true desires to be experienced. We cannot know the joy and the power of stepping into a new creation without the resistance that this law provides. Life is meant to be experienced, and the only way to do so is for the opposite of our desires to be present to show us the way.
For more on the law of opposites and the law of attraction, I suggest reading the book Happier than God.
The application of this knowledge is crucial in overcoming addiction, obsessions, and compulsions. Why? It requires that one put faith in something outside of themselves. We must first believe that what is working for others can work for us. Then we have to put trust in something that is unseen. When we experience the reward of this blind faith, we begin to build upon it.
Surrendering our destructive ways for the promise of better days and better ways is truly a difficult task in the human experience. Many do not understand the plight of the addicted. All of life’s maladies call to us to face the law of opposites. Addiction is merely another hardship that we face so that we may fully experience the darkness so that we can eventually know that we are so much more than that.
I would like to extend the invitation to those who are inspired to write a blog on addiction and recovery to contact me with your vision. The column must reflect the messages of new spirituality.
(Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)
How can I heal the pain of my uncle’s death?
My name is Michael. I am a 37 year old man and nine days ago my very beloved uncle died. He was like a father to me. He always supported me, advised me, and was always so kind to me. When I was in trouble he always helped me. Now, after nine days since he left, I feel worse and worse. The pain I have in my heart is so terrible. How can I heal this pain, that I feel is killing me?
Dear Michael… First of all, please allow me to offer my condolences. I’m sure it must be terribly painful, losing the man who was like a father to you, who was so kind and loving to you. Any time we lose someone in our lives who we were very very close to, it leaves a huge hole in our hearts.
I would encourage you to allow yourself to fully feel all of the emotions that are naturally coming up for you, yet know that they won’t kill you. You see, even though it may feel terrible, grief is actually a blessing to us. It’s that emotion that lets us know that we have loved deeply. There is an age-old question that asks, “Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?” I think for me the answer is, it is better to have loved and lost. Imagine how different your life would have been had you not been blessed by your and your uncle’s mutual love for each other. I’m sure your life would be very different if he hadn’t been in your life, so yes, by all means, grieve for your loss. Allow yourself to cry or scream or whatever wants to be released in you as you are releasing him from your physical presence.
Please know, though, that just because your uncle is no longer with you physically doesn’t mean he isn’t with you spiritually. Neale’s wonderful book, Home With God: In A Life That Never Ends says that the moment we think of a dearly departed one, their soul flies to us in an instant! And although we can’t see them with our eyes, it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Sometimes, if we are highly attuned we can sense their presence.
Please also know that your uncle is your angel in heaven now. I promise you, he still loves you with all his heart, and is watching over you, blessing you and sending you his love. He may even try to find a way to let you know, by sending you a sign of some kind. If this happens and the thought crosses your mind that this could be him, please don’t disregard or disbelieve it. Allow yourself to entertain the possibility that he has reached out to you!
Trite as it may sound, time heals all wounds, dear Michael. Of course, time will never cause you to stop loving your uncle, but it can help you stop missing him so much. After you have allowed yourself to grieve fully, gradually start getting back into your normal routine of life. This will help assuage the acute feeling of loss you are experiencing now. And this is good, because I know your uncle wouldn’t want you to grieve forever. He wants what any father figure wants for their child (or nephew): for you to be happy.
Please buy a copy of Home With God and read it right away. It contains “18 Remembrances” that may change your understanding about the whole process of this thing we call “life and death”. When we understand what is really happening, we can be much more at peace about it.
If, after reading the book, you are still grieving very deeply, please reach out to one of the Conversations With God Life Coaches or one of the Spiritual Helpers at CWG Helping Outreach. I’ve included a link to the website below.
I send you much love, dear Michael, as, I’m sure, does your uncle. Blesséd be.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
What specific word will spur a child to a life of discovery? What influence, person or otherwise, will cement the ideas by which a child will formulate his or her worldview? What subject in school will lead a child to be a “success?” By what standard do we measure success?
The meanings of questions change as we become more aware of our individual spiritual purpose, our reason for Being. Conversations with God encourages us to embrace a new way of measuring success. In the Old Cultural Story, success was measured by how much stuff you accumulated, often at the expense of another. Scarcity was used as a motivational factor and competition was encouraged.
In the New Spirituality, we learn that Our purpose is to recreate ourselves anew every day in the next grandest version of the greatest vision we ever held about ourselves. Instead of glorifying the scarcity and “do anything to get ahead” mentality, we come to understand that There is enough, Human beings do not have to struggle with each other to get what they want, and The wonderful ways to be are truthful, aware and responsible. In fact, Conversations with God even says that No human being is superior to another. And this is just a retelling of just a few of the core concepts from the CwG body of work.
I recently watched an enlightened young man, Logan LaPlante’s, TEDx University Talk about his ideas about home school education. You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/h11u3vtcpaY
Logan’s parents have allowed him, to a certain degree, to direct his own education based on his interests. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, his answer is simple: He wants to be happy.
He says adults ask the wrong questions. He is unsure what career he will pursue, although he is leaning toward designing outdoors sports and recreation equipment. He thinks focusing on what to be or do in the future is a mistake. He is, instead, choosing to focus on what to be and do now. He believes that the only way to have a fulfilled life is to start by having a happy and fulfilled childhood. So he pursues his interests now, focusing on being happy and learning the things that are interesting. He calls this “hacking” his education.
While I watched, I couldn’t help but see similarities between his ideas about growing up, his education, and his ideas about the future and people on a spiritual path. (That’s not to say that I assume he has read CwG or would agree with its messages.) It shows that children, when allowed to have some self-direction will flourish; that once we remove the walls and restrictions their own ideas and creativity can flourish. This, contrary to old ideas, will not lead to uncontrolled hedonism, it actually leads to growth.
After watching Logan and really listening to what he had to say, I reevaluated my own approach to my daughter’s homeschooling. I noticed that I had gotten into a rut, and honestly, taken some of the fun out of our schooling because I felt pressure to get through and finish tasks. Logan’s enthusiasm, courage and innovative ideas inspired me. I have rededicated myself to giving her more control in directing her education because I know that she will enjoy, and thereby learn, more. It will also, allow her to Be Happy now, rather than waiting for her to become something in the future.
Children like Logan know the answers to the questions above about success, inspiration and discovery can be answered in many ways. They don’t have to be tied to how many good grades a child gets, if they get into certain colleges, or how much money they make. They can be about enjoyment, finding inspiration and value in things that make them happy, lead them to think, and give them a reason to feel passionate about a subject.
Thank you for the pep talk, Logan!
(Emily A. Filmore is the Creative Co-Director of www.cwgforparents.com. She is also the author/illustrator of the “With My Child” Series of books about bonding with your child through everyday activities. Her books are available at www.withmychildseries.com. To contact Emily, please email her at Emily@cwgforparents.com.)
