Violence in America

A couple months ago I put the following thought out for those on my Facebook page: “Without diminishing my belief in the importance of eliminating all assault rifles from use in our world, I think the most intelligent and caring response to violence is to change the way we bring up our sons. How many mass murders or shootings of any kind are done by women? The real question is what avenues for solving problems and finding solutions are we giving to our male versus female children? We need to improve our understanding of our feminine side and share it more fully with our sons.”

I was delighted when all 14 of those on my Facebook page responded with thumbs up to this thought. I have been searching, just one of several avenues of thought to explore in my quiet times with God, for what we impart to our young women that we do not impart to our young men to the same degree. What is this life coping mechanism we share with women but fail to share with men? What is it that causes men to choose mass murder and gang shootings as a solution for solving problems? What is that difference in what we teach our children?

Today I found a partial answer to my question. Women are nurturers in far greater numbers than men. We need to greatly improve what we teach our young men about nurturing if we are serious about helping them change their relationship with one another, women, and society as a whole.

We, the moms and dads of the world are directly responsible for fostering this lack of nurturing in our young men. Yes, the difficulty of giving young men a good balance of nurturing is exacerbated by the social norms we live in, but we are responsible for those too. Social conditions and thinking in our country promote the fact that 95% of all single parent households are headed by women. That does not have to be our way of life. We have chosen it to the detriment of our young men. We moms and dads must teach or sons a different, more nurturing way to view their own parenthood.

I think it is more difficult for women to kill others because they have a deeper respect and feeling for life than men do. This directly relates to nurturing life, which is both a family and social expectation of women. Teach your sons to do for, to care for others, and you will teach them skills and thoughts that help them find better ways to solve their problems than killing one another.

I know this is just one aspect of what our children learn about living life that we should consider and change, but I do think it is a step in the right direction. What do you think? What would you add to this thought? Most importantly, what will you do about the problem? Government and legislation were not meant to solve this problem. But we are responsible and we should do something. Make the relevant changes in what you foster for our children and pass this on to everyone you know, giving them the opportunity to be part of the solution with us.

(Richard A. Thayer is a 65-year-old married father of five and grandpa of four and retired carpenter. He met God while in prison because of his stand against the war in Viet Nam. Richard lives in the USA and has written a book, “Love Alive, My Relationship With The Holy Spirit Of God,” which is available for free at

(If you would like to contribute an article you have authored to the Guest Column, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space. Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Please label the topic: “Guest Column.”)

Please Note: The mission of The Global Conversation website is to generate an ongoing sharing of thoughts, ideas, and opinions at this internet location in an interchange that we hope will produce an ongoing and expanding conversation ultimately generating wider benefit for our world. For this reason, links that draw people away from this site will be removed from our Comments Section, a process which may delay publication of your post. If you wish to include in your Comment the point of view of someone other than yourself, please feel free to report those views in full (and even reprint them) here.
Click here to acknowledge and remove this note: