Conversations With God Coach
I am 40 years old and I feel lonely. I live alone in a small apartment, but I have a problematic family. A couple of months ago I met someone who said he wanted a serious relationship but after we had sex one time, he changed his mind. He said we are too different and I make him very angry. I pursued him anyway and it caused a lot of trouble. What can I change in myself not to attract men who leave me so easily and cheaply? My father beat me until I was 17 years old and both of my parents are still unkind to me. Basically the problem starts in the family where I’m born, I think. I would like to be at peace with my ex-boyfriend and everyone, starting with me. Can you give me a couple of ideas that might help?… Vicki
Dear Vicki… Thank you for reaching out and for being so open about what’s going on with you. I have some gentle advice that can turn your life around rather quickly. If you can take these two simple ideas to heart and really implement them, in six months time you can find yourself in a much happier place than you are now.
1. Drop your story. Everything that happened with your family as a child, and everything that is happening now with them, and with your ex-boyfriend, is just that: It’s just what’s happening! There is no reason for it to define you now or for it to derail your happiness. Every day—in fact, every moment—is a new opportunity to create your life anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision you ever held about yourself, and the time you spend in your mind, fretting about past events, is time you could be spending in the joy of the present moment. We deprive ourselves of happiness by dwelling in the past.
2. Realize your life is not about you. It is about everyone whose life you touch. This is one of the very first messages Neale received in his conversation with God. In dealing with others, don’t approach them with the idea of, “What’s in it for me?” Don’t seek to receive a gift from someone. Rather, ask instead, “What gift can I bring to this person?” The moment you make this seemingly small change in your life, everything changes, because, Victoria, as you become the source of joy for others, you automatically receive it. This is how Life works because there is really only One of us! We are all part of the same God-energy that creates worlds. We have the same power to create that It does, and like God, we are unlimited, eternal and free. Free to think, free to choose, and free to be all that we can be. And that, dear Victoria, is what our Souls call us to do: to evolve by becoming aware of what’s really going on here. And when we put our awareness on how we can help others, we automatically help ourselves.
I invite you to read Neale’s book, Happier Than God. It’s chock-full of great ideas to help all of us find true joy, peace and fulfillment in our lives, and they really work.
And last but not least, I leave you with this poem by George Eliot. I sincerely hope these ideas help you, dear Victoria.
Count That Day Lost
by George Eliot
If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done,
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard,
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went —
Then you may count that day well spent.
But if, through all the livelong day,
You’ve cheered no heart, by yea or nay —
If, through it all
You’ve nothing done that you can trace
That brought the sunshine to one face —
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost —
Then count that day as worse than lost.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I’d like some help clarifying a “revelation” that I recently experienced. Up until a few days ago I would have said I didn’t have much of a possibility to repair ancient wounds in my life, or to repair a friendship that’s dear to me. But something turned me around: the realization that the past cannot be changed and that by dwelling on it one way or the other I was cheating myself of the presents that lay the Here and Now. I also realized I could be patient in the long process of rekindling this friendship, all the while staying confident, peaceful. And this is new to me, because I had a tendency to let my emotions define me. What do you think about this? Thanks in advance for your insight. … Lisa
Dear Lisa… So what happened to turn you around was that you simply changed your thought processes about what had happened, right? Just goes to show that we create our reality at an inner level. To change our reality about anything, all we need to do is change our thinking about it—to look at what happened from a different perspective.
Have you read Neale’s book, When Everything Changes, Change Everything? The Line of Causality/Mechanics of the Mind lays out the lightning-fast thought process we have in our Minds regarding any event, and shows how we move from the event itself to our reality about it. Each of these steps leads to the other:
Event – Data – Truth – Thought – Emotion – Experience – Reality
I’ll try to explain briefly here:
1. An Event happens.
2. We immediately search our brains’ Data for past experience of something similar to that Event, so that we may contextualize it somehow.
3. We have a prior Truth about that Data, which we often project onto the new Event (justifiably or not).
4. That Truth causes a Thought to arise about the Event. This may be a true Thought or not.
5. That Thought causes an Emotion inside us.
6. The Emotion, as you so aptly said, “defines” us and creates our Experience.
7. Our Experience becomes our Reality.
This happens so fast we don’t even know it!
In your case, I think you realized a few days ago that your prior Thought that there wasn’t much of a possibility to repair the wounds or friendship, isn’t true. So now, your process beyond Step 4 is different. Your new Thought that there is a possibility for a happier ending brings forth a new, better-feeling Emotion, which leads to a new Experience of life for you, resulting in a new Reality. Woohoo! Good for you!
Does this make sense? It’s, of course, explained in great detail and depth in Neale’s book, including how we may incorporate the System of the Soul here, but the main point is this:
“Change our Thought, Change our Reality.” Or as the common New Thought expression goes:
“Change your thinking, change your life!”
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
How do I reconcile my desire to do and have more in my life with my desire to help those who struggle just to survive? I know there is unlimited abundance in the world because God is unlimited, yet for every dollar I spend on something I want just for fun, that dollar could go to someone who desperately needs it for basic necessities. I give to people on the street and to charity, and I want to do more… but I also want to live a fabulous, fun, free life, without feeling guilty about it. Please help!… Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth… Please know that your question is one that I also ask myself as I continually work to choose the highest and best way to express Who I Am. It’s an age-old question, really, how to come to terms with this gap between the “haves” and the “have nots”.
Dr. Wayne Dyer said something very interesting once: he said he believes that if we could take all the money in the world, put it in an airplane, then distribute it evenly around the world, in a very short time it would end up right back where it started. What he was saying was, we can only embody that which we have in our consciousness, so the money would end up back in the hands of those who had it in the first place. If I have a wealth consciousness, I will continue to attract wealth. If I have a poverty consciousness, I will continue to attract poverty… unless I decide to dig deep and root out the Sponsoring Thoughts that cause it. Some people feel they are not worthy of being wealthy. Others feel that there is something inherently wrong with being wealthy. Society itself gives us many mixed signals about this, so it’s no wonder people harbor guilty feelings around having a lot of money.
However, as you said, God is unlimited and there is unlimited abundance in the world. I whole-heartedly believe this is true. I also believe that God is Omni-present and in every single person, rich or poor. So to me that means every person has the same unlimited potential for abundance that God has… but only to the degree that they know it.
Another thing Dr. Dyer said that I never forgot: we can’t feel bad enough to make someone else feel better. This is in no way meant to be a callous remark. Rather, he is rightly saying that we do much more good for others when we are in a positive frame of mind than when we are in a negative one. When we are in alignment with God and feeling great, that’s when we are open to receiving inspiration to really make a difference in the world.
At the end of the day, it is up to each of us to discern how we choose to be in relation to everyone… and everything, including money. The opposites of wealth and poverty here in the Realm of the Physical are here to offer us yet one more way to decide and to declare, to express and to experience Who We Are.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I am going through a bit of change looking for a job and being scared of my full potential. I just finished my degree in homeopathy and what I would like to do the most now is to practice and help people. First, however, I need to help myself. I need funds to start my clinic (insurance, association membership, place to practice, the list goes on). Fear of failure keeps me procrastinating and in a fearful place. I want to move out of it and I need help… Ava
Dear Ava… Thank you for reaching out. I can see why it would be very daunting to open a brand new clinic. That’s quite a laundry list of things to do to get started, and looks to be quite expensive! Let’s see, though, if we can address these other fears you’re having that are holding you back, because an acronym for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. And as one of our great American presidents, FDR, said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
You say you are scared of your “full potential”, but is full potential anything to be afraid of? Our Soul’s basic desire is to express itself fully, in the grandest version of the greatest vision it ever held about itself. In other words, to reach its Highest Potential. If you really knew and understood the truth of Who You Are, Ava, an aspect of God with its same unlimited power to create anything you desire, I think fear would not be an issue for you.
And about that “fear of failure”: did you know that Conversations With God says there is no such thing as failure? Anything that looks like a failure is simply Life’s way of course-correcting. When something we’ve planned doesn’t go the way our Mind thinks it should, it can only be because our Soul has a higher plan for our growth, and this is nothing to be afraid of, my dear! The Mind’s information is so very limited, but the Soul knows all, and will never steer us wrong. We may experience disappointment over a perceived failure when it first happens, but given the benefit of time and hindsight, we will always see the blessing and growth it brought us.
Would it be possible for you to offer your homeopathy services in a clinic that has already been established, so you wouldn’t have to start one from scratch? Or could you start working part-time out of your home, or perhaps in an herbal or whole foods shop, or at a massage or chiropractic clinic? In other words, see if you can find a way to start your practice on a smaller basis. Since you just graduated, it will give you an opportunity to dip your toe in the water and make sure you really love this line of work before jumping in with both feet! I would think you’d need a little practice too, before starting a clinic.
Fear is just a distortion of the One Emotion – Love. What do you love so much you’re afraid of losing it? Please look deeply at your fears and ask yourself this all-important question about each one of them: IS IT TRUE?
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I attended a spiritual retreat earlier this year. Afterward, I had all this strength and clarity and felt so strong! I made a decision to leave my husband, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time because the marriage was a mistake from the beginning. When I got home I told him, and it felt really good to start living my truth and moving my life in the right direction. But then I lost my resolve and let him talk me out of it, because trying to figure out all the details of a divorce seems overwhelming. I feel terrible because I really don’t want to be with him anymore. How can I get back on track and stay there?… Carly
Dear Carly,
It is said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. When making a big change in your life, don’t try to figure it all out at once. Just take it one step at a time, thanking God for guiding you every step of the way. Your feelings are your guidance and they come directly from God, via your Soul. God puts them there to guide you toward the most joyous life you can live, but the longer you continue to disregard the feelings that don’t feel good to you, the longer you postpone your joy.
You already followed the first two steps of Truth-telling: “Tell your truth about yourself to yourself” and “tell your truth about yourself to another”. Yet, you say you’ve wavered in your resolve to act on it. Is it still your truth that you want to leave your husband? Knowing that this is a major decision in your life, please, once again, do some deep Soul searching about it. Then if it is still your truth, you may need to repeat that to your husband, as lovingly and compassionately as you can. You might soften the blow by telling him that relationships don’t ever end—they only change form. Endings can be very hard, so sometimes it’s easier if we think of them as changes, not endings. “We’re changing the way we interact together…”
The way to stay on track is to stay in touch with your Soul, which knows all. You can’t figure this all out at the level of Mind, because the Mind’s information is so limited. However that works for you—prayer, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, chanting… whatever—make it a top priority every day. Better yet, make every waking moment a conversation with God. Learn to trust the wisdom of the Voice within you, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in your life. The more you follow that “still, small voice”, the happier you’ll be. And worry not about your husband, because he also has access to all the wisdom in the world. God is always with him too.
Last but not least, you might find this mantra helpful as you encounter challenges along the way:
“Thank you, God, for helping me remember that this problem has already been solved for me.”
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
Dear Readers…This week’s column is a little different than usual in that I’m sharing my own Advice question I asked in a conversation with God in 2009. The answer I received completely cured me of these fears and I sincerely hope it helps you as well:
“Will you please help me get to a place of total calm and perfect relaxation and confidence with my singing and speaking, no matter where it is and what the situation is? Thank you in advance for this answer and for helping me to be a conduit for your message with the beautiful talent you have given me.”
Be still and know. There are no mistakes. You cannot make a mistake. How many times do I have to tell you? How many performances does it take to know? I haven’t failed you yet and I never will. I gave you these gifts for a higher reason. Yes, you love singing, but as long as you are singing for you, you will have these fears. Therefore, don’t do it for yourself. Let this be your gift. No matter how long it takes before a performance, go within, be still and know. When you get to a place of total calm in meditation, allow it, be with it, give it plenty of time, then walk onstage and allow me to come through you. I will not leave you. I cannot leave you. You are my child in whom I am well pleased.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I believe I am one with all life. I do try to preserve life. I do not kill anything I can help killing. I have even taken flies outside (Once there were a bunch trapped inside a window, and easy to catch). But I have often been perplexed by the fact that I still eat meat. Is eating plant life any different?… Janey
Dear Janey… To me, that’s the predicament we have with the way we are separated from our food sources in modern-day society. It’s so much easier to eat an animal that has already been slaughtered, prepared, and packaged for our convenience. If I were totally true to myself, I would never eat any meat at all. I haven’t consumed any land animals in over 20 years, but still do eat some seafood. But I can tell you, if I had to catch it myself, I wouldn’t do it. When I see a fisherman catch a fish and put it in his bucket, it’s all I can do to not go over and toss it back into the water!
As for eating whole plants that we call “vegetables,” that’s not ideal for the spiritually aware person either, as they are also living, breathing individuations of God/Life. I personally feel a little guilty when pulling weeds out of the yard and find myself wanting to give them a “heads up” and apologize!
If you haven’t read Conversations With God Book 3, you may want to see what it has to say about how Highly Evolved Beings deal with this question.
CWG says, “Every act is an act of self-definition.” If we want to stop eating plants and animals, we can instead choose to eat only their by-products (seeds, fruits, nuts, grains, eggs and cheese) and probably do our bodies, minds and spirits a world of good!
If you’re interested in experimenting with a vegetarian diet, I can most highly recommend Vegetarian Cooking For Everyone by Deborah Madison. It’s the cooking “Bible” in our house, and if I could only own one cookbook, this would be it. It takes you by the hand and teaches you everything you ever wanted to know about veggies but were afraid to ask. Bon appetit!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I have had the experience of knowing that I am one with everyone. It was a time in my life that I will never forget and would love to feel that again. I do not know if it feels better to have had this experience for a couple of years or to not have had it at all. I feel like I am striving to “get there” again, but I understand that what you resists persists. I have to accept where I am at now and let it all flow as it will. I feel like I should be reading, having quiet time (meditation), and focusing on more positive thinking more often. I try to do this as often as I can, but sometimes it feels difficult to do this consistently because of the demands of my 3 little children. I am struggling to feel this sense of “we are all one” on a daily basis… Kim
Dear Kim… You are incredibly blessed to have had a direct experience of Unity with everyone for two years! You have the consciousness of that now, which will make it easier to manifest again. This is true of anything you’ve had in your life. Once you’ve experienced something, you have the consciousness of it and can more easily create it again. This is why we see millionaires who lose it all only to make it all again!
I can imagine that three wee ones are very time-consuming, but if you can carve out even fifteen minutes a day to get in touch deeply with your soul, it will help make the rest of your day feel more peaceful. “Stopping meditation” also works for busy moms on the go. Every so often, just stop what you’re doing for ten or fifteen seconds, close your eyes, and touch base with your soul. This is very refreshing! Before you know it, you’ll start to feel that connectedness again.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
My wife called me crying because of a couple she found in a laundromat. I found out later they were homeless but chose to live their lives in the streets. My wife wanted to help them so we bought them food and gave them blankets and pillows. (I had tried to get them a room in nearby motels, but they were well-known and had created such a mess and “smell” before that the motels had to throw everything away.) Other people had paid cash for a room and then put the homeless couple in there without the manager being aware. In other words, there was “no room in the inn.”
Because of my background in law enforcement I found some police officers and spoke to them about a homeless shelter. There are none in the city and there are up to 25 “couples” they are aware of living in wooded areas within the city limits.
I now feel I would like to help with love, money, and time, to help these people but do not have a clue where to start. Any suggestions?… Mickey
Dear Mickey… How about soliciting help from the churches in your area? Perhaps you can put together a meeting with area church leaders asking them to help you implement a program called “Room In the Inn.”
The homeless people can sleep in the church’s fellowship halls, taking turns on different nights so that it wouldn’t be overwhelming to any one church. If you can get 7 churches to commit, each church would have one night per week. If you can get 14 churches to help, that’s just one night every two weeks.
The members can volunteer their time helping with meals and clean-up and have a couple of men from the church designated to stay overnight. The ladies can bring in potluck dinners and breakfasts.
How’s that sound? Think how great you’ll feel if you get this going! And your sweet wife won’t have to cry anymore.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I remember from reading the CWG books that Neale mentions here and there the concepts of building and maintaining a conscious relationship. However, I was wondering whether there is any specific material out there that is solely focused on this topic. Blessings and joy to you…Annalisa
Dear Annalisa…Neale addressed a similar question in our Spiritual Mentoring Program call on Saturday by saying this:
“1. Need nothing. 2. Understand everything. 3. Love all.”
Please allow me to elaborate:
1. In a relationship if we Need nothing specific from the other, we can save ourselves a lot of grief. For example, I have found that with my family, sometimes we are pulled in different directions, each of us having our own agenda, especially around the holidays. Things run much more smoothly for me if I don’t attach myself to any particular plan—if I don’t Need anything in particular to happen—allowing Life to lead me where it will. This appeases everyone, so therefore, I am at peace as well!
2. Entire relationships, indeed, entire lives have been ruined by people who misunderstand the actions of another and hold grudges against them, rather than sitting down, talking things out, and arriving at mutual understanding about why they did what they did. When we Understand the reasons why others do what they do, forgiveness is automatic. Neale calls this “Forgiveness Forgone” because forgiveness is a foregone conclusion when we Understand the reasons people do things we might consider negative.
3. To Love all doesn’t mean “free love” in the 1960s sense, as the hit song from that era, “Love the One You’re With” recommended. Rather, it means, Love everything that shows up. Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is explains this beautifully. Another author, Rick Steves, who is my favorite travel writer, says, “If something isn’t to your liking, change your liking.” This is a very profound statement that takes on a much deeper meaning than simply what to do while traveling. If we learn to love Life exactly as it is showing up—if we can see the perfection in all of Life—then we live the path of least resistance. This is not to say we are not at choice in every moment. We are, and we’re always invited by Life to Choose Again… to re-create ourselves anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we held about Who We Are. Yet, to do this while living a life resisting nothing is to walk the path of the great Masters.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
